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-   -   Some nice little ways to annoy people (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=28238)

  • Jun 24, 2006, 12:16 PM
    nymphetamine
    Some nice little ways to annoy people
    1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

    2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

    3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

    4. Name your dog "Dog."

    5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

    6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

    7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

    8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

    9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

    10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

    13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

    14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

    15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

    16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

    17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
  • Jun 24, 2006, 01:22 PM
    Stormy69
    Ha ha some of those are great...
    Also. Walk behind people with a small squirt bottle of water, as you fake a big sneeze give them a quick squirt on the back of the neck LOl( I've done this actually people are SO touchy! :D
  • Jun 24, 2006, 01:59 PM
    ndx
    1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

    2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

    3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

    4. Name your dog "Dog."

    5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

    6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

    7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

    8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

    9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

    10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

    13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

    14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

    15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

    16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

    17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
    __________________
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  • Jun 24, 2006, 04:34 PM
    shunned
    On no 6, that's what you think... John Huston used to tell Kate hepburn "is that so" anytime she made suggestions to the script of African Queen.
  • Jun 24, 2006, 08:21 PM
    dcx
    On #4 we once had a dog that was called *here boy*... I sure hope it was a male... lmao... good list by the way
  • Jun 25, 2006, 12:49 PM
    rd68
    1. Saying (what). To every question asked.
    2. saying (whats that)? To everything someone says
    3. Asking a store clerk (how much)? 3 times after they give you the price.
    4. drive up to self service fuel pumps and ask someone who works their to pump your gas.
    5. Go to your local store and ask them how much then tell them you don't want them and go back and grab the same things and do it again.
  • Jun 26, 2006, 12:07 AM
    Stormy69
    In a dollar store... ask " how much is this?" with every item you pick up...
  • Jun 26, 2006, 01:02 AM
    xcandybabex160
    There cool
  • Jun 26, 2006, 01:29 AM
    colbtech
    I'd like to name my next two cats "Guess" and " I dunno".

    That is bound to start a couple of fun arguments!
  • Jun 26, 2006, 05:18 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stormy69
    ha ha some of those are great...
    Also. walk behind people with a small squirt bottle of water,, as you fake a big sneeze give them a quick squirt on the back of the neck LOl( I've done this actually people are SO touchy! :D

    That's so funny!
    But uggggyyy disgusting actually.

    I can see why anyone who played that joke would find it hysterical but to be the one who got it played on wouldn't find it so funny!

    HEHEHE might just have to try this in out :D
  • Jun 26, 2006, 05:20 AM
    J_9
    I had a dog named Dog once!

    She was a funny Dawg too.
  • Jun 26, 2006, 05:21 AM
    rd68
    1. Name your twin boys (Pete & Repete)
    2. Name your twin girls (Anti & Freeze)
    3. The classic (Are we their yet)?
    4. Name your twin boy & girl (Boy & Girl)
    5. As jim carry Whould say.(NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)!
  • Jun 26, 2006, 05:41 AM
    fredg
    Hi,
    Very, very good!
    My wife likes the one about changing the TV channels, while she is trying to watch a movie. After repeated warnings, I quit doing that... I like living!
    Best wishes.
  • Jun 26, 2006, 05:45 AM
    Curlyben
    1 of d best ways 2 annoy people on an internet 4m, such az DIS, iz by writing evrtng and cht spk!

    For a translation
  • Jun 26, 2006, 06:08 AM
    rd68
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Curlyben
    1 of d best ways 2 annoy ppl on an internet 4m, such az DIS, iz by writiN evrtng n cht spk !!

    For a translation

    I agree wit you because I hate that evn th0 I don't rite like that I don't know what I sayen s0i perfer not to do it.
  • Jun 26, 2006, 11:23 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    I like to think it's a matter of annoying the right ones LOL

    I took lessons from my hundred mile a hour black lab dog...
    Ever notice how being waaaaay too happy annoys some people?
    :) :) :) :) :) :) ha ha ha
  • Jun 26, 2006, 11:56 AM
    Krs
    You know what I used find so funny doing wi my mates after a few drinkies lol

    Get a 50cent or 1 pound coin...
    Stick it on the ground with glue outside the bar u sitting at and just wait and watch people trying to pick it up and then their reaction when they realise its stuck..
    Hehehe
  • Jun 27, 2006, 05:44 PM
    Jonegy
    If a visitor/salesperson/etc asks where they can find M/Mr/Ms etc " X ".

    Give them directions BUT with the added info that they'll have to speak up as the person is quite deaf.

    (I am ****ing myself laughing remembering some of the reactions I've seen over the years )

    My uncle's cat was called "Cat" and when it died the next one got the same name!

    He also had an African Grey parrot that talked - but NOT in front of strangers - however it did say "See you then" as they walked out of the room.

    A very good one at a party - but it has to be prepared before hand.

    Get a Mars bars warm and roll it between your hands until it takes a certain shape and colour (You know what I mean ) and hide it at the back of the fridge.

    During the evening pretend you've returned from the toilet and have the re-shaped Mars bar in your hand and say quite loudly - "Which dirty ******* has done this in the wash basin ???"

    Then - when everyone is looking very concerned - smell the offending looking object - say - "Ah well !!" take a bite of it and walk away munching.

    BTW - Has anyone done the cling film over the toilet bowl trick lately?? :D
  • Jun 27, 2006, 07:16 PM
    magprob
    After using the restroom and washing my hands, I wet one of my hands then walk up to someone I'm with and grab their arm with my soakin wet hand and say, "Don't you just hate it when you pee all over yourself?"

    When I am walking down the sidewalk and some stranger is walking behind me I bolt around suddenly and say, "Are you following me? Why are you following me?"

    I love to walk up to strangers that are eating something and ask if I can have a bite. I swear, 50% say no but the other 50% stick it in your face and say "sure!"

    My number 1 favorite thing to do to be anoying: Do a drive by (pass gas) in public. The frozen section of the supermarket is the best place... just lingers better!:eek:
  • Jun 27, 2006, 09:14 PM
    J_9
    It is also funny if you get on an elevator and stand facing the back. People will really think you are strange. This was an exercise I had to do for psychology class. People all moved to the other side of the elevator.
  • Jun 30, 2006, 04:27 AM
    Thomas1970
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stormy69
    Also. walk behind people with a small squirt bottle of water,, as you fake a big sneeze give them a quick squirt on the back of the neck LOl( I've done this actually people are SO touchy! :D

    You want to aim for touchy.. Not that I recommend trying this one, but... In the 80's, comedian Howie Mandel used to joke about doing the same thing in an adult movie theater with a squirt gun filled with hand lotion. Make sure you get a seat close to the exit. :D
  • Aug 4, 2006, 12:13 PM
    worthbeads
    Speak in monotone and laugh in monotone and in rhythm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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