Ask Me Help Desk - She was Soooooooo Blonde

She was Soooooooo Blonde

She was Soooooooo Blonde.
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.'

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cord less phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'Concentrate.'
* She told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.'
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

Gosh! I thought that General Motors was in the army too! :confused:

LOL, Friend... goodness that poor lady LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Gosh! I thought that General Motors was in the army too! :confused:

Are you by any chance, a blond?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da Bigchamp

Are you by any chance, a blond?

No, I don't think he is. I think he was just being kind to the Blondes on the site!! :)

You see, Blondes go directly from A to Z and don't mess with wasting time going from point A to point G to point K then to point B then to point Z. :p Most blonde jokes, if not taken in context make perfect sense, I said MOST, not ALL. After all, a quarter back is a refund of sorts. It doesn't say a person was speaking about football and if it was spoken rather than written would one know if quarterback was one word or two within the context of the sentence??

ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN! I COLLECT BLONDE JOKES, JUST SO I CAN KNOW THE APPROPRIATE WAY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, SORT OF AN ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THINGS NOT TO SAY! (JOKING AGAIN, JUST IN CASE YOU THINK THIS BLONDE IS SERIOUS!) :p :p :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrebel7

No, I don't think he is. I think he was just being kind to the Blondes on the site!!! :)

You see, Blondes go directly from A to Z and don't mess with wasting time going from point A to point G to point K then to point B then to point Z. :p Most blonde jokes, if not taken in context make perfect sense, I said MOST, not ALL. After all, a quarter back is a refund of sorts. It doesn't say a person was speaking about football and if it was spoken rather than written would one know if quarterback was one word or two within the context of the sentence??????????????????

ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN! I COLLECT BLONDE JOKES, JUST SO I CAN KNOW THE APPROPRIATE WAY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, SORT OF AN ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THINGS NOT TO SAY! (JOKING AGAIN, JUST IN CASE YOU THINK THIS BLONDE IS SERIOUS!) :p :p :p

LMAO... had to spread the rep JReb , but that was priceless :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

LMAO................had to spread the rep JReb , but that was priceless :)

Well, Thankya! Let's face it, Blonde jokes are pretty much here to stay BUT so are we!! :eek: Yahoo! :p

Ok so I better add to these :)

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home.

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Ok so I better add to these :)

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home.

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see someone who things just like I do and is so understanding!! :D

Ya know, she might have sold the car for gas money for her motorcycle!! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrebel7

Ya know, she might have sold the car for gas money for her motorcycle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

Ah ha... she could have too :) You only thought of that cause you've got a bike J... right??

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... well, me being Blonde, surely you don't think I would have thought of that one on my own unless I did, right?? a motorcycle, lest I get called on the deal that bikes just need leg power! I saw that one coming... must be a good night for Blondes! LOL

I may be Blonde but I have been naïve enough of my life that I have learned to carry a few red flags from time to time. LOL I find they do come in a bit useful. I have been caught red-faced toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many times. You see, I think that most Blondes are just innocent and naïve, and take life as it presents itself and are very practical thinkers... that is why we understand the Blonde jokes so well and they make so much sense to us! Life is simple, it is all in one's perspective! LOL

Good point about the Leg power , but no I wasn't trying to get you :)

Oh man, I missed that one then! Oh well, chalk it up to me being Blonde! LOL I guess this Blonde better say "Goodnight and Sweet Dreams" to all. It has been a fun night. Thank you friend4u178! I feel I have made a new friend tonight. What a wonderful "virtual" world we are in! :)

Thank you Jreb... G'nite and sleep well :)

It's still the afternoon for me so a way to go yet.

One more for the road... You did hear about the Blonde who's little VW got hailed on and had dents all over it, right? She took it to the garage and the guy told her that it was not anything to get upset about, just go home, park it in her drive way and get behind it and blow as hard as she could into the tail pipe and it would just pop those dents all right out and it would be good as new. Well, the girl, being trusting as we Blondes tend to be, went straight home and did exactly what the mechanic told her to do. She blew as hard as she could and each time she would get up and check the car but the dents were still there. The last time she started to blow, her Blonde friend walked up and was so embarrassed for her sweet friend. She asked what did she think she was doing. The first Blonde explained. The sweet Blonde friend, wanting so much to help her friend, told her it would never work. The mechanic had not told her correctly. She said... "You have to roll the windows up first silly!" :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Thank you Jreb................ G'nite and sleep well :)

It's still the afternoon for me so a way to go yet.

Oh well, then I am glad I sent one more little fun story to you before going to bed! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrebel7

One more for the road..................You did hear about the Blonde who's little VW got hailed on and had dents all over it, right? She took it to the garage and the guy told her that it was not anything to get upset about, just go home, park it in her drive way and get behind it and blow as hard as she could into the tail pipe and it would just pop those dents all right out and it would be good as new. Well, the girl, being trusting as we Blondes tend to be, went straight home and did exactly what the mechanic told her to do. She blew as hard as she could and each time she would get up and check the car but the dents were still there. The last time she started to blow, her Blonde friend walked up and was so embarrassed for her sweet friend. She asked what did she think she was doing. The first Blonde explained. The sweet Blonde friend, wanting so much to help her friend, told her it would never work. The mechanic had not told her correctly. She said.............................................. ......"You have to roll the windows up first silly!" :)

LMAO... now that was funny :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrebel7

One more for the road..................You did hear about the Blonde who's little VW got hailed on and had dents all over it, right? She took it to the garage and the guy told her that it was not anything to get upset about, just go home, park it in her drive way and get behind it and blow as hard as she could into the tail pipe and it would just pop those dents all right out and it would be good as new. Well, the girl, being trusting as we Blondes tend to be, went straight home and did exactly what the mechanic told her to do. She blew as hard as she could and each time she would get up and check the car but the dents were still there. The last time she started to blow, her Blonde friend walked up and was so embarrassed for her sweet friend. She asked what did she think she was doing. The first Blonde explained. The sweet Blonde friend, wanting so much to help her friend, told her it would never work. The mechanic had not told her correctly. She said.............................................. ......"You have to roll the windows up first silly!" :)

This sounds like something along the lines of, "How many blondes does it take to...?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

This sounds like something along the lines of, "How many blondes does it take to...?"

"Takes to" what Mr. Clough? I bet you have some zingers for Blondes yourself. Well, I will brace myself and get ready to bite the bullet! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Gosh! I thought that General Motors was in the army too! :confused:

Lol.. YES SIR

OK so a few additions :)

She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.'

AND ALWAYS A FAVOURITE:
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Haha Friend, LOL

Great additions, friend4u178! :)

:( Why did you all start a thread to make fun of me? Just when I was sitting here putting my M&M's all in alphabetical order, and concentrating on getting my quarterback, so I can buy stamps to send more faxes! I'm so upset that I got up and tripped over my cordless phone!

Ohhh you... you... you... I'd speak my mind but I'm afraid I'm speechless! :p

LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed, likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

WATCH DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO.. " answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Like I have said before, we Blondes tend to think quickly, A to Z.

Examples:

Doctor's Office
Well, the red head might have lied and really not been a natural Blonde... I have serious doubts about that one and the doctor!!

Knitting:
The Knitting story shows we can concentrate on the task at hand!

Logic:
Ok, now I will give you all that one! But just for tonight.

River Walk:
Has anyone, not Blonde, said to you on the phone if you ask "Are you there?" reply to you, "No, I'm here!" Honestly... I have and he wasn't a Blonde. Any true Blonde would respond by asking, "Where"? We are very practical people you know. :)

Speeding Ticket:
It depends on whether you have a polite cop or not, asking for something they just took from you and weren't kind enough to give back yet... has nothing to do with the driver being Blonde! Goodness sakes!

Watch Dogs:
H e l l o o o o... are Rolex and Timex not brands of watches... answer by association... quick thinking I would say. Just saves time.

NOW YOU SEE OF COURSE THE A to Z of things!

Doctor's Office
Knitting
Logic
River Walk
Speeding Ticket
Watch Dogs

D,K,L,R,S and W!

Have fun, I am!! Being blonde isn't a requirement for having fun, just a plus! (ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN!)

Jreb I had to spread the rep , great additions :)

Classic jokes

This is great! M, Rebby, you guys did awesome, dare I add a blonde joke?

Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

Hee hee Rebby!
Oh goodness Alty, loved it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

This is great! M, Rebby, you guys did awesome, dare I add a blonde joke?

Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Alty, that was royal! :p I was going to have a surprise for you tonight at the party but guess I will have to wait until next week. My sister is in from Tenn. And she and her husband came over for dinner after they took care of mother at the nursing home in my place... giving us a little break.

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Jreb I had to spread the rep , great additions :)

Glad you enjoyed it! LOL It was a bit lengthy but just couldn't pass that one up! :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by startover22

Hee hee Rebby!!
Oh goodness Alty, loved it!

Did I miss you again Starty?? Glad we made you laugh!

I'm so glad we have our blonde jokes in common Rebby! LOL! I don't know what I would do if I couldn't make fun of myself!?

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I'm so glad we have our blonde jokes in common Rebby!! LOL!! I don't know what I would do if I couldn't make fun of myself!!??

I'm right there with you Starby!! :p

Of course, you realize if you and I couldn't make fun of ourselves, there are plenty of people out there that are so kind and willing to do it for us!! LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrebel7

I'm right there with ya Starby!!! :p

Of course, you realize if you and I couldn't make fun of ourselves, there are plenty of people out there that are so kind and willing to do it for us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

LOL! So true... I love it though! I'm moving over to the dance party to play a song if you're interested! ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

LOL!! So true...I love it though!! I'm moving over to the dance party to play a song if you're interested!! ;)

I'm right behind you! Take off.. :p

I'm right here too! About four hours too late! :(

Usually I'm up later too Cloughy, but lastnite I zonked out! ;)