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OK so a few additions :)
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.'
AND ALWAYS A FAVOURITE:
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
Haha Friend, LOL
Great additions, friend4u178! :)
:( Why did you all start a thread to make fun of me? Just when I was sitting here putting my M&M's all in alphabetical order, and concentrating on getting my quarterback, so I can buy stamps to send more faxes! I'm so upset that I got up and tripped over my cordless phone!
Ohhh you... you... you... I'd speak my mind but I'm afraid I'm speechless! :p
LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed, likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
WATCH DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO.. " answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
Like I have said before, we Blondes tend to think quickly, A to Z.
Examples:
Doctor's Office
Well, the red head might have lied and really not been a natural Blonde... I have serious doubts about that one and the doctor!!
Knitting:
The Knitting story shows we can concentrate on the task at hand!
Logic:
Ok, now I will give you all that one! But just for tonight.
River Walk:
Has anyone, not Blonde, said to you on the phone if you ask "Are you there?" reply to you, "No, I'm here!" Honestly... I have and he wasn't a Blonde. Any true Blonde would respond by asking, "Where"? We are very practical people you know. :)
Speeding Ticket:
It depends on whether you have a polite cop or not, asking for something they just took from you and weren't kind enough to give back yet... has nothing to do with the driver being Blonde! Goodness sakes!
Watch Dogs:
H e l l o o o o... are Rolex and Timex not brands of watches... answer by association... quick thinking I would say. Just saves time.
NOW YOU SEE OF COURSE THE A to Z of things!
Doctor's Office
Knitting
Logic
River Walk
Speeding Ticket
Watch Dogs
D,K,L,R,S and W!
Have fun, I am!! Being blonde isn't a requirement for having fun, just a plus! (ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN!)
Jreb I had to spread the rep , great additions :)
Classic jokes
This is great! M, Rebby, you guys did awesome, dare I add a blonde joke?
Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."
Hee hee Rebby!
Oh goodness Alty, loved it!
Alty, that was royal! :p I was going to have a surprise for you tonight at the party but guess I will have to wait until next week. My sister is in from Tenn. And she and her husband came over for dinner after they took care of mother at the nursing home in my place... giving us a little break.Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Glad you enjoyed it! LOL It was a bit lengthy but just couldn't pass that one up! :pQuote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
Did I miss you again Starty?? Glad we made you laugh!Quote:
Originally Posted by startover22
I'm so glad we have our blonde jokes in common Rebby! LOL! I don't know what I would do if I couldn't make fun of myself!?
I'm right there with you Starby!! :pQuote:
Originally Posted by starbuck8
Of course, you realize if you and I couldn't make fun of ourselves, there are plenty of people out there that are so kind and willing to do it for us!! LOL
LOL! So true... I love it though! I'm moving over to the dance party to play a song if you're interested! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jrebel7
I'm right behind you! Take off.. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by starbuck8
I'm right here too! About four hours too late! :(
Usually I'm up later too Cloughy, but lastnite I zonked out! ;)
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