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-   Jokes (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=385)
-   -   A few funnies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=421627)

  • Jul 15, 2010, 09:39 PM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer View Post

    I am trying not to wake Cats up by laughing out loud. :p
  • Jul 15, 2010, 10:03 PM
    hheath541
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer View Post

    Yep, looks like edith. Whoring herself out all over the house.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 08:29 PM
    Stringer

    Untitled Document
  • Jul 21, 2010, 08:38 PM
    Alty

    LMAO!

    Now that's funny Stringer.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 09:22 PM
    EmoPrincess
    1 Attachment(s)
    What happens when a blonde gets bored with a tongue piercing a lip ring?

    20 minutes of being stuck
  • Jul 21, 2010, 10:26 PM
    Alty
    2 Attachment(s)
    Attachment 32089

    Attachment 32090
  • Jul 22, 2010, 05:05 AM
    Synnen

    Bunnies are waaaaaay more delicious than cats.

    Cats don't destroy my garden.
  • Jul 22, 2010, 06:12 AM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    Bunnies are waaaaaay more delicious than cats.

    Cats don't destroy my garden.

    Wabbitts!! I have had enough!!

    Synn, try cutting up (in small pieces) some apples and put them around your garden. I have tried all the store bought things, one rain and they don't work...

    Stringer
  • Jul 22, 2010, 07:07 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    I gave up long ago trying to rid of them Meh, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em?

    I feed them now. I find if I feed them my old fruits and veggies in the back of the house, they stay out of my garden.
  • Jul 22, 2010, 07:23 AM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell View Post
    I gave up long ago trying to rid of them Meh, if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em??

    I feed them now. I find if I feed them my old fruits and veggies in the back of the house, they stay out of my garden.

    Sadly (short of machine gunning 'um) that is what seems to work... keep them full... Our wild rabbits are so tame that you can get within 2 feet before they run.
  • Jul 22, 2010, 07:37 AM
    Synnen

    We've started a different plan. I pull the hair from my hairbrush and hang it around the garden fence.

    And the hubby pees around the edges every few days.

    Seems to be working!
  • Jul 22, 2010, 08:07 AM
    Stringer

    Brush and drink...

    They really are a nuisance. Yesterday they simply bit off all the new sprouts on new planting and left them there, didn't eat them. Just plain vandalism (period)
  • Jul 22, 2010, 08:34 AM
    Aurora_Bell
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    We've started a different plan. I pull the hair from my hairbrush and hang it around the garden fence.

    And the hubby pees around the edges every few days.

    Seems to be working!

    Nothing like marking your territory eh?
  • Jul 22, 2010, 08:35 AM
    Aurora_Bell
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Brush and drink....

    They really are a nuisance. Yesterday they simply bit off all the new sprouts on new planting and left them there, didn't eat them. Just plain vandalism (period)

    Dirty rotten scoundrels
  • Jul 22, 2010, 08:53 AM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell View Post
    Dirty rotten scoundrels

    :)
  • Jul 22, 2010, 10:44 AM
    Synnen
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell View Post
    Nothing like marking your territory eh?

    As long as he's not peeing on ME, I don't care!
  • Jul 22, 2010, 02:56 PM
    Alty

    Speaking of peeing on people.

    Indy has now lost his ability to hold it.

    I went to the doctors today, then went to visit a friend. Usually Indy sleeps until around 4pm, mainly because he's up all night pacing, panting, barking. Today he apparently woke up while I was gone, got to the front foyer, laid down, peed and pooed everywhere.

    I came hope to a foyer full of feces and pee, a very stinky wet dog, and a headache. :(

    I feel horrible for not being here when he had to go out. He looked so disgusted with himself. :(

    Good news though. Operation soon. My doctor just needs to call the specialist that did the colonoscopy, book a time, blood transfusion to up my hemoglobin, and then surgery. :)
  • Jul 22, 2010, 04:12 PM
    Stringer

    Good news Alty, I know it will all turn out well.


    An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

    They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
    Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
    '
    How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

    'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

    The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered -

    'Is that one word or two?'
    [/B]
  • Jul 22, 2010, 04:32 PM
    hheath541
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    As long as he's not peeing on ME, I don't care!

    Yeah, that's edith's latest trick when she wants something. She peed ON my foot to get me to clean out the litter box, which wasn't that bad. Then, just a few hours later, she tried it again. I have no idea what the second time was for.
  • Jul 22, 2010, 04:43 PM
    martinizing2
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Good news Alty, I know it will all turn out well.


    An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

    They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
    Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
    '
    How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

    'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

    The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered -

    'Is that one word or two?'
    [/B]

    That is funny. Good one

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