Ask Me Help Desk - How do I get a job

I have already exhausted all my treatment options.

How is that possible?

Meds don't work and I've already talked about it over and over and over and over and over and over with no end in sight. I'm just tired of talking about it. What else is there to do?

It has already ruined the rest of my life I don't think there is anything that could make me not depressed.

Well, I've made suggestions that you shot down, and you have given up, so where does that leave us?

One of our experts named Jake2008 will be online soon (hopefully). She always has helpful and useful things to say and suggest.

What suggestions did I shoot down?

You didn't like my $30K job -- not good enough money.

I'll PM Jake2008 to read this thread and put in her two cents. I've got 20+ inches of snow headed my way in a blizzard, so my mind is cluttered with other stuff right now. Maybe Jake will come up with a fantastic idea.

I don't like it but I never shot it down, and I said I would go down the library tomorrow to volunteer, if I get a 30K job it won't ever be good enough but at least I am making money. It's OK though these types of misunderstandings always happen to me I'm used to it... maybe one day I will learn to communicate better, maybe not.

There you go again.

You've got to get your foot in the door somewhere. Might as well be at a library to begin with.

And I wish you wouldn't give up on the meds and counseling. I PMed Jake, so hope she helps us out.

I didn't give up on the med's the doctor took me off them, they had me on high doses with no effect, for instance I was on prozac for 8 months, started at 20mg and I was at the max dosage of 80mg with no effect before they started to take me off. I was at 80mg for almost two months.

Either way it really dosen't matter, even if I do get to the point where I am not depressed anymore, in the eyes of 90% of employers its - once depressed always depressed, they will never believe you and they see you as a liability. In the end it really defeats the whole purpose of getting better.

That's not true at all! Half of the staff at the library where I worked was on prescribed meds for mental problems, including depression. What shows strength is that you keep dealing with it, not lie down and die whispering "poor me."

Well to assume that I wallow in self pity is absurd. I never say "poor me", I only accept the reality of the situation. I am beating myself up as much as I can, there isn't much more you guys can expect from me. What you don't think I remind myself every day that I need to be a better person that I need to get out and do something and stop being lazy? You know everyone tries to telly you... don't blame yourself everything isn't your fault. Well everything that happens to you is in some way your fault. I could have avoided all of this if I would had been more responsible and take a little bit more caution in the way I present myself, all the stupid **** I do all the time could easily be avoided if I would take a little bit more time and patience. Every problem can either have been prevented or be prevented, problem was I wasn't smart enough or strong enough to do it and I know it. I wouldn't even be here if I tried a little bit harder to do better. I wouldn't be depressed if I handled my stress better. What do you want me to say and I will say it!

I ruined my life, I killed myself already. If you disagree why can't I get a job with law enforcement or the military, is there some sort of medication I can take to do that? Seriously what do you expect, I am not making excuses for myself, these are the cold hard facts.

You know what your right, I am laying down and whimpering "poor me". Guess it's the only thing I am good at any more. Sorry about the rant, thanks for showing me where I'm going wrong.

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Originally Posted by Praecautus

Well to assume that I wallow in self pity is absurd. I never say "poor me"

I didn't say you do. I don't want you to be back here in five years having this same conversation with someone. You're too good for that.

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I only accept the reality of the situation.

I disagree. You are creating your own reality for job hunting. Take one step at a time.

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I could have avoided all of this if I would had been more responsible and take a little bit more caution in the way I present myself, all the stupid **** I do all the time could easily be avoided if I would take a little bit more time and patience.

So don't do it again now.

Quote:

I ruined my life, I killed myself already. If you disagree why can't I get a job with law enforcement or the military, is there some sort of medication I can take to do that? Seriously what do you expect, I am not making excuses for myself, these are the cold hard facts.

You haven't ruined your life yet. Your life has barely started. Let me know how things go at the library. Did you check its web site on the chart I gave you the link to to see if they take volunteers?

It doesn't say they do but it doesn't say they don't.

Well, check. Or if they don't have volunteers, offer to be their first one. Tell them how wonderful volunteers will make their library life. (Can you tell I started a fantastic volunteer corps and coordinated everyone for 16 years until I had to resign last year?)

I here people say that depressed people drain the energy of those around them, and they have a tendency to make other people depressed. Do I really want to bring that to a library?

Yes.

If you say so.

It'll work the other way -- you'll be emotionally uplifted.

I wish I had a $1 for every time a volunteer or court-ordered community service worker told me, "Wondergirl [not my real name], working here is the best thing I have ever done!"

I really hope so I am tired of hurting other people.

Just think of me walking beside you, and you'll be fine. I'll poke you if you act up.

I'm jumping in a little late here, but I too have some observations that may or may not be helpful.

The first thing you need to do is take control of your finances. I presume you are living on your own. You said you have savings that are running out, and that puts even more stress on you to keep going with finding a decent job.

If your loans are through a bank, speak to them (don't ignore them) about some sort of debt repayment with a reduction in interest. You are one of millions who are stuck with debt that needs to be restructured, and banks are generally agreeable- if you take the initiative. If your parents have co-signed for this debt, ask them to temporarily take over reduced payments for you until you get on your feet. Draw up some sort of contract with them. If you start this ball rolling, you will find a solution to manage the debt. Cut up the credit card and also request a repayment arrangement.

There are Debt counselling agencies, free. Find them, and they can assist you, as well as offer other resources.

Put your pride in your back pocket, and get back to the Welfare office. Again, there are millions in the same boat as you are, and accept that it will take time to process what you need to do, in order to have some immediate income, and hopefully longer term income, coming in to sustain yourself. Food stamps won't pay the rent.

Consider, if you are in an apartment, moving to a place where you can rent a room, or share an apartment with others to reduce the cost.

Is it possible for you to move back home, or in with a relative? Even temporarily?

All of the above is setting the groundwork. Without having a grip on food, shelter, and managing your debt, you will just continue to spiral down, and, without some security and control over basic needs, you won't feel much easing of pressure, in order to feel a little more positive about finding a job and a career.

With you having sent out over 300 resumes recently- have you followed up on these jobs. If you have received a letter from them telling you you were not successful, or if you haven't, always follow up. That shows them you finish what you start, and it also takes your resume from the bottom of the pile, and puts it on top of the pile. The person they hired may not work out, and if you took the time to enquire, that gives you an edge.

Start keeping written track of any and all applications. Dates, times, followups, phone numbers, contact people.

There could very well be something that is lacking in your actual resume itself. Consider seeking out, through community services, help with the preparation of a proper resume. These types of organizations also assist in better preparation training for interviews, and can point out helpful suggestions that you may not realize, could be holding you back.

What about trades. Have you considered that? Many, such as being a Lineman for example, hire young men like yourself as apprentices, and you learn while you work, and you get paid very well.

If you need experience to work toward working in law enforcement, why not try to find work with a security company. It too requires and involves training that would be something positive to add to your resume. These types of occupations involve shift work, and there is often a shift differential to increase the income.

Go to a private employment agency and register. With your new resume. They make money, if you are referred for a job, and get the job. Check out job banks, government sponsored re-training, new skills training, and subsidized trades, through local social service agencies.

Take the job at BurgerKing, and have some income coming in. Until you can establish yourself in training or trades, or another job, you will at least have money coming in to subsidize what you need.

More to follow in a separate post on the mental health issues.

IF you have been diagnosed with clinical depression, it almost always follows that the depression was caused by anxiety. When you are overwhelmed with a situation such as you are in, things build up, and take on a life of their own. It's almost like having a shadow following you around, and the shadow overtakes any light and hope coming in, because it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

If you think of that in a physical, causal way, and realize that depression is probably a good part of what is holding you back, it is time to assess again, your need for therapy, and/or medication.

While that seems a daunting task, it's kind of a which came first, the chicken or the egg. Does the depression cause the mindset you are in now, or was it caused by the continuous lack of successes in what you are trying to achieve. Or is it both, being depressed, and being affected by the depression, and that in turn is causing you to think you have no options.

Depression is one of those things we throw around, too many times, as a reason, for being where we are, and also the reason for why we aren't doing better.

Regardless of how and why depression has come into your life as a contributor to the situation you now find yourself in, it too has to be dealt with as much importance as putting food on the table every day. If you don't have food, you starve. If you don't deal with depression, you are locked in a place where nothing has meaning. It is a terrible waste.

It is hard not to get knocked down with all the rejection you have had. Nobody deals well with rejection. But, to be clinically depressed on top of it, not only makes your efforts that much harder to improve your life, but the rejection only contributes to being in a depressed state. Either by degree, or duration.

You mentioned Prozac. That is a drug that, as you know, takes time to work, with increased doseage after careful monitoring. That that particular drug did not work, means you have to try again, with a different drug. It is not uncommon to treat depression with three or four tries of different types of anti depressants, in order to find one that works.

I urge you to go again, and seek therapy and treatment for depression. It is what it is, and not doing it because a potential employer may discover that you have been depressed, and treated for depression, is cutting off your nose to spite your face. It is most likely of a situational type of situation, that will not see you on medication for the rest of your life.

I would be more inclined to note that information, that you took care of your depression, as a positive, rather than negative thing.

While it may prevent, by discrimination or ignorance, some opportunities, it will not hinder you in most employment opportunities.

So, which came first, the depression, or the situation you find yourself in now. And does it matter? If treatment controls the depression, do you think that your outlook, and success would turn into more positive experiences?

The only other thing I want to point out is, start with small steps, and work your way up. Have a plan, everyday, to take care of business, AND, take care of yourself. Force yourself to review the day prior, and plan for today, to accomplish something. Whether that be starting with a phone call to your Doctor, or a visit to the Welfare office. Set a schedule, and stick to it. Knock things off, one at a time.

Also schedule things that you may not particularly feel like doing, but that you know will help bolster your mood. Walk a half hour a day. 15 minutes out, 15 minutes back. Start a journal, and write out even a few lines a day, just enough so that you acknowledge what the day was like, and what you accomplished. Even if it was keeping an appointment, or scrubbing out the bathroom.

Acknowledge both failures, and successes, and realize that you will likely have equal measures of both. You will have days where you are full of energy, and days when you don't feel like getting out of bed. The latter does not dictate that ALL your days will be the same. The goals is to have fewer bad days, and more good days, even if that means accepting that things didn't work out with a particular goal or task, but that doesn't mean that the other accomplishments, such as a simple walk, or posting only one job application, weren't positive.

No excuses. You have work to do.