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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's scary to think about, isnt it.

That's where role-playing comes in, to do a try-out with someone first.

I never said that. Another counselor won't either.

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I will try something else phone calling just isn't working for me.. I'll do a walk-in .

Good news I'm going to UPS tomorrow to speak to a hiring manager, the day after is a hiring fair for aldi that I am ready for.
And I am feeling somewhat good.

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Originally Posted by despicableme

I will try something else phone calling just isn't working for me.. I'll do a walk-in.

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I had gotten to know a young woman through a chat web site. She lived in NY State, and I'm from there, so we discovered we had lots to chat about. She was depressed, had a frustrated husband and two young kids, and she knew she needed to get help. She and I eventually talked so that she made an appointment with a nearby counselor, but she was scared to go. I sent her my photo (for courage and inspiration?) which she carried in her purse or pocket and looked at on her way to the counselor and even as she opened the office door. She spent a number of happy sessions with that counselor and when the counselor moved, my friend slid into a relationship with a new counselor. All that must have helped because she was able to relocate with her family to NC and find a job she liked down there and also join a church (she had formerly disliked social situations). I've lost track of her, but am guessing she is doing fine or will seek out counseling again, if needed.

Where do you plan to do this walk-in thing?

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Good news I'm going to UPS tomorrow to speak to a hiring manager, the day after is a hiring fair for aldi that I am ready for. And I am feeling somewhat good.

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And please let me (us) know how that goes! I will be here cheering for you.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I had gotten to know a young woman through a chat web site. She lived in NY State, and I'm from there, so we discovered we had lots to chat about. She was depressed, had a frustrated husband and two young kids, and she knew she needed to get help. She and I eventually talked so that she made an appointment with a nearby counselor, but she was scared to go. I sent her my photo (for courage and inspiration?) which she carried in her purse or pocket and looked at on her way to the counselor and even as she opened the office door. She spent a number of happy sessions with that counselor and when the counselor moved, my friend slid into a relationship with a new counselor. All that must have helped because she was able to relocate with her family to NC and find a job she liked down there and also join a church (she had formerly disliked social situations). I've lost track of her, but am guessing she is doing fine or will seek out counseling again, if needed.

Where do you plan to do this walk-in thing?

And please let me (us) know how that goes! I will be here cheering for you.

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Maybe this?

Mental Health Resources - Milwaukee

Don't really know for sure.

Or maybe I'll say f-it and sleep all day. Don't know.

I don't remember but I found it somewhere. Forgot where it's located.. that I saw online. That young woman is strong.. wouldn't have done it. Too, lazy, no motivation, apathy, etc..

I read this. Nearly broke down.

"Very poor self image benefits from harbouring within the unconscious thoughts stored negative memories of abuse, neglect, humiliation, rejection etc. that depart 1 feeling unworthy, insufficient, needy, ineffective, poor, unattractive, stupid, weak, and so on. Usually people today who come to feel these strategies tend to shy away from usual and open intimate relationships out of a concern of getting other people find out how faulty they by themselves feel they are."

Don't understand though because had a decent life no abuse or unfavorable conditions.. The only memory of abuse, neglect, humiliation and rejection is what I cause myself because always felt unworthy and inadequate, like I'm broken or something.

I like the sound of the counseling offered on that link you posted.

Do you remember when you started feeling the way you do about yourself?

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Originally Posted by despicableme

That young woman is strong..wouldn't have done it. Too, lazy, no motivation, apathy, etc.

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I didn't mention how many months she and I had talked before she was even willing to consider going to a counselor. Her husband was getting ready to divorce her and take the kids with him, so that pushed her into thinking my way a bit.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I like the sound of the counseling offered on that link you posted.

Do you remember when you started feeling the way you do about yourself?

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Don't know beginning of high school middle-school? Can't really remember. I had a couple of meltdowns in both.. middle school had more humiliating events, high school more anxiety and low self esteem.

What caused the meltdowns? Humiliating events?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I didn't mention how many months she and I had talked before she was even willing to consider going to a counselor. Her husband was getting ready to divorce her and take the kids with him, so that pushed her into thinking my way a bit.

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Oh goodness that's simply horrible. Now that's something to be depressed about. That's her children too for goodness sake! Reading that wonderful she was able to get the help she needed.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What caused the meltdowns? humiliating events?

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I don't know stress I suppose?

Bladder problems peeded on myself in middle school wore a diaper and some a-hole panteds me in front of everyone. Had my period come I front of my entire class, chair and pants had blood stains, everyone knew it was me and lost my only friend then, gotten bettter, took a picture of myself naked picture for this boy I had liked in school ended up showing it to all his friends and a couple of girls to show how ugly and fat I was. Had to suck him and a bunch of friends or he'll put it online. Forgot that part. Ended up getting his phone breaking it in half and deleting the picture ended up moving to a different school thank god... and some other stuff.. that was mostly my fault..

Started becoming fatter once I hit my freshman year in highscool, eveyone was so pretty and had wonderful friends.. evne the bigger girls had this confidence I never seemed to have.. gotten up to 190 pounds.. and now lo and behold I am 220... missed plenty of social events, failed many classes but because I never caused trouble some teachers let me slide.. with a D mostly social isolation during high school.. had some friends during the middle of junior and senior year but dirfted part once graduation. *shrugs*

You mentioned that teachers liked you because you were careful and did your best in many of the classes, especially the classes where there were hands-on activities.

Did you ever mention any of the problems in school to your parents? How did teachers deal with some of this stuff?

..

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You mentioned that teachers liked you because you were careful and did your best in many of the classes, especially the classes where there were hands-on activities.

Did you ever mention any of the problems in school to your parents? How did teachers deal with some of this stuff?

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Mhm, the classes that were hands-on if I had to do any sort of presentations or had to talk I mostly failed .The hands on ones I did pretty well and liked. I felt confident.

Teachers didn't do crap. Don't like talking to my parents at all becaue I could handle it. I'm not dead am I? So didn't need their help. School was really ghetto until they merged with the other schools inside the building Their were other things to worry about like people taking guns to school or fights, drugs aka weed, and low test scores.
Overall it was pretty decent.. high school had the robotics club that I liked it was fun. And some deca stuff.still hated myself but school was no time for that and did not and I repeat-did not want people asking me what's wrong if I started having meltdowns I went into the bathrooms for that or took it out on school work I didn't do.

Up's and downs good times bad times.. had friends lost 'em depressed and then clam the self hated then depressed again stuff like that I handled it sometimes I didn't. Didn't want to cut or w.e so I used rubberbands.

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Originally Posted by despicableme

Teachers didn't do crap. Don't like talking to my parents at all becaue I could handle it. I'm not dead am I? so didn't need their help.

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And all worked out so well then...

And here we are, you and me.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And all worked out so well then....

And here we are, you and me.

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Yes, worked out very well. 'm not dead so that means I'm strong right? I have no aversion to suicide at all if people want to kill themselves fine I won't stop them unless I like them of course but no matter how bad it got with me I could escape with my sleep, books, internet, and food like I do now. It's too much effort to kil yourself and too lazy for that

All of this is stupid.. I made all of these pages you taking your time out to help me and for what? If I can just get a job I will be fine past will be forgotten and then I can see the guy online that I want too for so long. And after I see him, lose weight go to the military and live happily ever after.

Well, it's my bedtime, so please report back after your job fair and let us know how it went. I wish you the best with the ones you are most interested in!

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Well, it's my bedtime, so please report back after your job fair and let us know how it went. I wish you the best with the ones you are most interested in!

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m'kay

UPS ended up being a no go it's 2 hours away from my house..

That's too bad. Anything else look hopeful?