I'm just stopping by here for a minute, Showme_urmove.

Are you able to attach the file?

I'll return, later...

Hey clough I'm online I'm doing my best to attach the letter

OK I think I've attached it

I haven't found it.

I'm sorry that I missed you the last time you were online here!

No problem clough we are busy people, hope everythings is good with you!

Things could be better, here...

But, I've had a slight increase in business...

I am hopeful!

Have you tried to alter the file that I sent to you?

Yea I attached it I hope you got the chance to opened it.

Which post is it attached to?

To this one can't find it?

Nope, I can't find it. It should appear like the one that I attached in post #149.

Let me try changing my "skin" to see if I can find the one that you attached. That might be the problem. Please give me a few minutes.

Can you see yours in the post?

I changed my "skin" and still can't find it!

Let me try to send it as PM

Here's another thought...

Please go to your Profile and check out your Edit Options. You should have something like the following there.

Quote:

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Visible Post Elements
You have the option to show or hide various elements of messages, which may be of use to users on slow internet connections, or who want to remove extraneous clutter from posts.
Show Signatures
Show Avatars
Show Images (including attached images and images in [IMG] code)

---

If you don't have the Show Images thing checked, that might be part of the problem.

I'm not really sure though. It's just a thought...

Seems weird though, that I can't see what you've attached since I moderate this particular forum topic area.

Thanks!

I did receive your PM. But what you sent wasn't an attachment. I can read everything that you sent, though.

Let me review the content of what you sent...

You've done a really good job!

Here are some suggestions for how to improve on it a bit.

For your header at the top, I would suggest centering that.

There's a quotation mark before SN in the name of your business. You don't need that.

I see an IP address in the header. Did you intend for that to be there? I would suggest your physical address underneath the name of your business. Directly underneath that, your phone number and then your email address. The most currect way of listing a phone number would be 555.555.1212 That being with the use of the periods.

I would avoid all CAPS in any part of the header, unless that is the way that you really advertise the name of your business.

Are all the words of the name of your business all together without any spaces in it?

More to come...

Thank you very much, I will change that, the quotation wasn't there when I had it on micro words yes my business name does have a space I will change that right this moment. This might sound stupid but what's an IP address?

Additional suggestions:

Is it all caps in BOYS & GIRLS CLUB the way that they title it?
It's important to title it exactly as they word and punctuate it.

I would put the Unit Director's name first, following by a comma and then the title.

Mr, needs to have a period rather than a comma after it.

After the last name of the Unit Director, you would put a comma, as in Dear Mr. [Name],

Is the name of the Boys & Girls Club club complete? Or, might there also need to be an "of Salinas, CA" included in the name?

"One of the most affordable prices in town for your T-Shirts." "One", doesn't need to be capitalized. Suggested revision to wording would be: one of the most affordable prices available anywhere for your T-Shirts.

More to come...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

thank you very much, i will change that, the quotation wasnt there when i had it on micro words yes my business name does have a space i will change that right this moment. this might sound stupid but whats an IP address?

---

An IP address means Internet Protocol. It's the numerical label (address) of your computer or the numerical label (address) of the server that you're using.

Please see the following:

IP Address Definition - Google Search

Got you! I don't know how it got there. I don't know why my IP address is showing

Thank very much, and yes the boys and girls club is all cap, I copied it exactly how it shows on the business card.

Other suggested revisions:

I had forgotten - you need to put a date underneath your header and also have it centered. May 10, 2010 or, you could also use May 9, 2010

The bullets are good with what you're going to offer them.

• Lowest Price Guaranteed! Proof of price from previous vendors will be needed.
• 10% of any order will be donated back to the BOYS & GIRLS CLUBS (Make sure of the name of them.)
• If you do any fundraising, we will donate T-Shirts for the volunteers - up to a maximum of 20 T-Shirts.

Please let us know if you have any questions. We look forward to an opportunity to further discussion with you as to how we might best serve the needs of BOYS & GIRLS CLUBS.

Thank you.

Very Truly Yours,


[Your Name.]

How far away from Napa Valley are you, please?

Thank you very much clough, you have been a huge help on our company. Were not that far away from napa only 2 hours drive not bad a drive, why?

My daughter lives there and runs her own business.

More about that, later...

It's getting very late for me again and I need to get to bed.

I would like to see the final draft of what you're going to send out before you deliver it, please?

Thank you again clough and I will send you the final draft. That's really nice that your daughter lives there, I heard its beautiful up there, If your daughter needs any t shirts let me know and I will help you guys out, that's the only thing I can do for all your help!

I change the header already thank you so much! Your such a huge help, God bless you and your whole family

Here is what I have from you with identifying information removed.

Suggestions are included. Please note the centering and where I've omitted or added things in the body of the letter.

Your Header.

Space four lines down.

May 10, 2010

Address and Contact information of the club.


Dear [Mr. Name,) Please note comma.
Double space.
Please accept this correspondence as being a proposal to provide your company the (BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB) No parentheses needed. one of the most affordable prices available anywhere for your T-Shirts.
Double space.
We really enjoyed visiting you and your facility on April 21st. What we are proposing is the following concerning meeting the needs of your club.
Double space.
• Lowest Price Guaranteed! Proof of price from previous vendors will be needed.
• 10% of any order will be donated back to the BOYS & GIRLS CLUBS. Period.
• If you do any fundraising, No "s". we will donate T-Shirts for the Volunteers - up to a maximum of 20 T- Shirts. Period.
Double space.
Please let us know if you have any questions. We look forward to an opportunity to further discussion with you as to how we might best serve the needs of BOYS & GIRLS CLUBS. Period.
Double space.
Thank you.

Space four lines down.
Everything below should be centered.
Very Truly Yours,

Space four lines down. [Your Signature Here.]

[Your Name.]

I hope that makes sense to you.

Does it?

Do you have any questions, please?

Yes it does, thank you very much clough. Thank you for being so patient and understanding, english is not my first language, and not my best subject. Thank you so much for the help, and if there is something I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask.

It got a little confusing to me with the last edit that I did.

Adding colors and centering makes a post to be filled with a lot of extra stuff for a person to work around.

Basically, you center everything at the top and the bottom of the letter, header, date, the closing [Very Truly Yours] and your name at the bottom. Name and address of the person to whom it's being sent as well as the body of the letter is left-justified.

Everything also needs to look square on the page. Not too much on the bottom and not too much on the top.

I have other ideas for your advertising. But, that is for a later time...

It would be really cool, if you could post some images here sometime of what you've done!

I can hardly think or type right now...

Need to get to bed!

I hope that you have a restful sleep!

God's Love and Peace to You! :)

I forgot one last thing...

You'll want to use either Times New Roman or Ariel for the font. Size 12 is okay. If you try a size 14, that's even easier for people to read, if you can fit everything on one page using size 14. Also, you'll want one inch margins on the sides and no less than 1/2 inch at the bottom and the top, preferably one inch at the bottom and top, but in order to get everything on one page, you may need to use 1/2 inch.

Later...

I would like to say, thank you so much clough for all your help! Even though you don't know me, your welling to stay up and help a stranger get things going. You have a kind heart, God bless you and your family!
I thank you once again!

You're welcome! :)

How did it go today?

It went good, he was happy to see us, hope that was a good sign, and he was happy that we brought the proposal, the way it sounded seems like he was waiting for the proposal, I just hope we get that account so we can get busy this summer!

I'm glad that things went well for you! :)

Do you have any images in your computer of things that you've done concerning screen printing?

Yes I do clough would you want me to send it to you? I don't have much images yet, but ill send as much as I can.

I would really like for you to post them on this thread.

If you have any trouble doing that, please let me know on this thread.

Thanks!

Hey clough! How you doing?
I am going through my album on the camera to see which picture to put in.I would do my best to post it by tomorrow.
I will diffidently let you know if I am having trouble posting it.
Thank you very much for all your help.
If you need any shirts done for your business or just for yourself let me know ill do it for you, that's the only thing I can give back for all the help you have done.