For some of us, the observance of the holiday of Halloween is almost here! I am just looking for people to share some favorite short, maybe scary - maybe not, Halloween stories and fun Halloween jokes. Simple jokes, rhymes, riddles, silly, childish, etc. Just a catch-all of some of what you might enjoy on the side of having fun on Halloween! Some short stories would really be nice! :)

Here are some examples:

Why did the ghost cross the road?
Answer: To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"

What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!

Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!

What ghost helped the Little Leaguers win their game?
THE TEAM SPIRIT!

Well, I thought that it might fly some... Just thnking of bats, though...

Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet.
The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross."

So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "GET OFF OUR F@*$ING CAR!!!"

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

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Originally Posted by tomder55

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

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I loved these! Are these originals or have they been around awhile and I have just missed hearing them? Thanks for sharing them.

One rainy, windy night, not unlike tonight, a man was walking home alone, down a dark, deserted street that ran right by the local cemetery.
As he passed the gates, he heard a bump in the darkness behind him. Not daring to look back, he quickened his pace. But, the bumping noise continued behind him.
He stopped and turned to see what it was. Coming down the road behind him was a coffin, standing on end, bumping from side to side - BUMP, BUMP, BUMP.
The man, terrified for his life, turned and ran into the driving rain. Behind him, the coffin came faster - BUMP, BUMP, BUMP! Ahead of him, there was a branch that had fallen from a tree. He reached down and grabbed it as he ran by. Still running, he turned and threw it over his shoulder at the coffin - but it just splintered when it hit the coffin and the coffin continued coming faster - BUMPITY, BUMPITY, BUMPITY!
The man turned the corner onto his street and ran through his front gate, the coffin right behind him. His splitting axe was resting against his woodpile so he snagged it, turned, and gave a mighty two-handed throw sending it end over end right at the coffin. SMASH! - the axe shattered on the unnaturally strong wood of the coffin and it continued after him.
The man dashed in his house, but the coffin crashed through the front door. The man ran upstairs and grabbed his shotgun off the wall display. He blasted the coffin with both barrels, but the shot bounced harmlessly off the coffin as it continued up the stairs - BUMP, CLOMP, BUMP, CLOMP!
The man, desperate and scared to death, jumped into the bathroom and locked the door - knowing it would do no good. The coffin Banged against the door, once.. twice.. and on the third time, the door exploded and the coffin came forward.
In desperation the man reached out his hand and grabbed whatever he could. All that was there was a bottle of cough syrup so he threw it at the coffin.
The bottle shattered, the cough syrup poured on the coffin, and the coffin stopped.

This is a story I wrote when I was 9 to tell to the other kids in my trailer park on Halloween. This is the only story they wanted to hear EVERY year. So begins Werewolf Prince...

Prince Phillip stood at his window looking outside. Three days... three days till his princess would arrive. Princess Irenie... the love of his life, the woman he had been sending letters to for months now. They had both been rather surprised that they had begun to love each other, after all it was an arranged marriage. Phillip smiled, he would see her for the first time... and then they would be married on the most beautiful night of the month... the full moon, a month away from this day.

Phillip pulled himself from his happiness when he heard a knock at his bedroom door. "Come in" he said. It was none other then his friend Charles. "Hey there Phillip... listen I have a bit of a surprise for you..."

"Not another early wedding gift I would hope... you really are too good to me Charles..."

Charles laughed and smiled, "No no no I have drained my purse dry buying you the things I have. But listen remember a month ago when I came home with that nasty bite on my neck from the wolf in the forbidden woods?"

"Yes why?"

"Well I was thinking... what is a wedding if the groom does not have a proper pelt? That wolf had a lovely coat and it would look just as lovely on you! Besides I need a reason to kill the damn thing for bitting me without leaving a bite on my concious for killing the creature."

"You're a bit out of your head arn't you? You know my father would throw a fit if I went into the forbidden forest. "

"But what is the old king going to do my friend? Keep you from getting married? You have told me you love the girl so you are going to be completely tied down. Why not a bit of an adventure before you have to worry about worrying your bride?"

Phillip sighed, "You really are out of your mind... but I suppose I am too then." He said with a grin and laughed as Charles hugged him.

"Let's leave just before the sun goes down. You're father will think you asleep and you have the eyes somewhere placed between a hawk and a jungle cat!"

"Alright my friend, I will see you tonight!" Phillip laughed as Charles left. "I must be out of my bloody head.." He muttered with a smile.

To be continued as I'm sure that I am just about out of typing room!

Phillip armed himself with his dagger and sword as he snuck out of his fortress like home down to the stables where Charles was waiting. "You ready to go Charles"

"Always!" They both climbed on their horses and galloped into the night and into the woods. "Here I'll go one way and you go the other Charles. We will find the damn thing sooner and I can get home before father wakes up." Charles nodded and they parted paths deciding a loud whistle would sufice as a way to find each other.

Phillip rode around silently one hand on his sword, it seemed like he had been looking for this wolf. "Charles is crazy..." Suddenly Phillip's body tensed as he heard a noise behind him, then he heard the sound again beside him... Before he could react a wolf jumped from the bushes at him and his horse. He horse let out a loud cry as it stood up on it's hind legs, throwing of it's rider and running fast from the scene. Phillip landed hard on the ground and looked towards the wolf, "My god..." He mutter as the wolf turned around ever slowly, it's golden eyes looking towards him with a hunger unlike any other. The wolf lifted it's head towards the moon and howled as Phillip stood and ran.

He turned around towards the direction he had just run. He drew his sword, ready for the wolf to run after him. He whistled, a high note, to try and summon his friend. Charles heard a branch crack behind him and he turned to see who golden eyes staring at him through the bushes. Slowly a wolfs head came from the bushes, then two arms, and two legs. Before Phillip stood a wolf, literally stood, it was not on four legs, it stood like a man. The creature lept at Phillip with such speed Phillip didn't even have time to swing his sword. The creature swung it's clawed hand toward Phillip. Phillip drew his dagger, swiftly, to stab into the creature's hand. The creature stood, getting off Phillip to howl in pain. Phillip scrambled back reaching for his sword but realizing it lay on the ground a few feet away, he looked up again to see the snarling teeth of the creature coming towards him. Two cries rang out into the sky as the teeth plunged into Phillip's neck, and the dagger plunge into the creatures chest.

The fur began to fall off the wolf as it howled one last cry of pain before falling. Phillip's eyes fluttered and began to close... the last thing he seeing being a familiar face.

To be continued!

If you have a couple of hours free before Halloween, read "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" by Washington Irving. Ichabod Crane and the "Headless Horseman" will put you in the mood.

As will the Halloween movies... Michael Myers... the most wonderful horror movie villan in history far as I'm concerned ^.^ and though I absolutely LOVE Rob Zombie... I didn't bother seeing his version of Halloween... I saw they changed the mask.. and that was enough to make me not want to see it -_- you don't... change the mask... plus I heard it was all blood and no plot... not to mention all the female characters looked like they could have been in a porno...

The only Halloween story I know by heart is the one about the severed head hanging by a rope and thudding against the side of the car that two amorous teenagers have parked under a huge, spreading tree deep in a cornfield.

The dry stalks rustle in the night breeze. As the couple is rapturously necking, a somewhat soft and liquidy noise is heard.

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

The noise seems to be coming from right outside the car, like something is hitting against it. Maybe it's a tree branch. The boyfriend gets out of the car to investigate. She waits patiently, but he doesn't return.

Then, the girl, worried about the boy, gets out of the car to look for him.

The ending is too scary and upsetting to tell here.

oh do tell do tell!! ^.^ gorry stories are so much fun!

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Originally Posted by BiWiccanAndProud

oh do tell do tell!!! ^.^ gorry stories are so much fun!

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I agree! Why keep us in suspense?

As you say in your profile "Don't make me stand up and walk over there!" don't make me have to come over there and shake the ending out of you! You're practically next door to me, you know?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If you have a couple of hours free before Halloween, read "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" by Washington Irving. Ichabod Crane and the "Headless Horseman" will put you in the mood.

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Yes, they will! Timeless treasures in literature!

Lol yup yup (p.s. what you all think of my story so far? I'm trying to remember the rest of it... I haven't gone over the story since I moved out of the trailer park when I was 13)

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Originally Posted by BiWiccanAndProud

As will the Halloween movies.... Micheal Myers... the most wonderful horror movie villan in history far as I'm concerned ^.^ and though I absolutely LOVE Rob Zombie... I didn't bother seeing his version of Halloween.... I saw they changed the mask.. and that was enough to make me not want to see it -_- you don't... change the mask... plus I heard it was all blood and no plot... not to mention all the female characters looked like they could have been in a porno....

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I agree. Why change things that already made the movies hits?

Exactly and Michael was not all about blood and horror, he was just scary! Mainly because the way he killed people was in ways that anyone could do! (Like when he killed the girl in her car with wire in the first movie) He's my all time favorite person (next comes jason and then comes freddy :P... freddy scared the out of me when I was little though... same with chucky.. ). And again... you don't change the mask... the mask is timeless!! I've been trying to get my hands on an authentic one for years because I'm such a big fan! Unfortunately the only one I found that looked like the original mask at all was over 500 dollars!! How to people who collect movie parahonelia afford to collect this stuff!

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Wondergirl agrees: If you answer my improv (in Music) question, I MIGHT finish this story. MIGHT...

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Isn't this called blackmail? Or, are we bartering? :) I'll check out your improv. Didn't know that it was there... Bad me! :(

Werewolf Prince continued...

Sun shined through the branches of the dead trees, a small spot shining on Phillips face. His eyes flickered and opened and he stared up through the trees. His eyes widened as he remembered the night before, his hand flying to his neck. Nothing. Was it all a dream? Maybe he just fell of his horse and hit his he-- Phillips eyes widened and he held back a cry as he saw Charles laying on the ground only a little ways away from him. He saw the spot on his friends neck where he had been previously bitten, it had disappeared completely but now as his friend lay dead it was back. Did the creature from last night get him as well, one last kill before it died? No... it wasn't that... Phillip saw the stab wound in his friends shirtless chest. It seemed like an eternity before the realization hit. His friend... he had killed his friend... Charles had been the creature... Charles... had been a werewolf. Phillip's hand went to his neck again to feel for the bite marks his friend had left. They weren't there... but how long had he been laying here? Could he have been here long enough for them to disappear?

Phillip stood... What was he going to do? Tell his father of what had happened? No. Tell of Charles death? No, he would have to explain what had happened then. But wait... what if he told his father of Charles death... but said a wolf had gotten him? The bite marks were back so it was not to hard to imagen... and his were gone so he would not have to reveal what had happened to him. Yes... that was what he would do. Phillip walked by Charles, "I'm sorry my friend..."

Phillip ran from the scene in the direction he believed to be his home. Eventually he got home. His father was there.. waiting outside ready to yell. After his father's screaming, Phillip told of what had happened. Of course the courses of going out and finding the body and having a decent burying proceeded. Everything ended the day before Irenie was to arrive.

To be continued when I remember the rest!

Wow! That's turning out to be quite a story, BiWi!

Ya I'm trying to remember as much of it as I can... truth be told I couldn't remember how Phillip ended up in the woods... so I went with that until it got to the werewolf attack. I think the way I read it when I was little was he got lost in the woods but I couldn't remember how he got out there. But other then that the story is the same. I'm so mad I've been searching for the original all day!! I know I had it in a folder along with the first book I wrote when I was 11 (It was like 20 pages long and was inspired by a game of barbie drama me and a guy friend played >.<)

Did you hear about the cannibal that got expelled from school?

He was buttering up his teacher.

What are vampires favorite breed of dog?

Bloodhounds!


What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumplin by its radius?

Pumpkin Pi!

Halloween's just around the corner, everyone! :)

Did everyone buy candy yet, for handouts?

Did everyone begin to test the handout candy yet, make sure it's free of razor blades and poison?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The only Halloween story I know by heart is the one about the severed head hanging by a rope and thudding against the side of the car that two amorous teenagers have parked under a huge, spreading tree deep in a cornfield.

The dry stalks rustle in the night breeze. As the couple is rapturously necking, a somewhat soft and liquidy noise is heard.

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

The noise seems to be coming from right outside the car, like something is hitting against it. Maybe it's a tree branch. The boyfriend gets out of the car to investigate. She waits patiently, but he doesn't return.

Then, the girl, worried about the boy, gets out of the car to look for him.

The ending is too scary and upsetting to tell here.

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Originally Posted by BiWiccanAndProud
oh do tell do tell!! ^.^ gorry stories are so much fun!

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Originally Posted by Clough
I agree! Why keep us in suspense?

As you say in your profile "Don't make me stand up and walk over there!" don't make me have to come over there and shake the ending out of you! You're practically next door to me, you know?

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Wondergirl agrees: If you answer my improv (in Music) question, I MIGHT finish this story. MIGHT...

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Are you ever going to finish the above story? I think that I held up my end of the deal pretty well, and will continue to do so! :D

The improv question still needs an audio response.

I've been taking the temperature of the members here since I joined in June, and I really hesitate to upset you and give you recurring nightmares by telling the rest of the story. It's very depressing and even a little bit psychotic--and probably RickJ would kick me off the site for being the harbinger of... well, you know...

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The improv question still needs an audio response.

I've been taking the temperature of the members here since I joined in June, and I really hesitate to upset you and give you recurring nightmares by telling the rest of the story. It's very depressing and even a little bit psychotic--and probably RickJ would kick me off the site for being the harbinger of ... well, you know ....

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HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!! LOL!!!! (For real!!!!) :D

Oh, you real got me with that answer! Very clever! You truly are a "Wonder!"

But, you are changing the rules here. No fair! You never specified that you wanted an audio response!

If you get an audio response, are you going to finish it?

I suppose that the next thing your going to ask me to do is start posting music manuscript in my answers also! (Don't even think about it!)

I'm sure that you are a clever enough writer that you can change an ending so that it won't be so... Well, you know...

Oh, all right.

It turned out OK. The boyfriend got lost in the dark and finally got back to the car just as his girlfriend was getting out to look for him. They hugged in joy and happiness. He remembered there was a flashlight in the glove compartment, so he shined it around, looking for the source of the thudding noise. It was just a branch like they had thought, so they got back into the car and went to her house where her mother gave them steaming mugs of hot chocolate with a dollop of whipped cream on top and some carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Everyone was happy and laughing. Even her dad sat down with them and shared some of his best Halloween jokes and stories. The End.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Oh, all right.

It turned out ok. The boyfriend got lost in the dark and finally got back to the car just as his girlfriend was getting out to look for him. They hugged in joy and happiness. He remembered there was a flashlight in the glove compartment, so he shined it around, looking for the source of the thudding noise. It was just a branch like they had thought, so they got back into the car and went to her house where her mother gave them steaming mugs of hot chocolate with a dollop of whipped cream on top and some carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Everyone was happy and laughing. Even her dad sat down with them and shared some of his best Halloween jokes and stories. The End.

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LOL!! Hey Wondergirl, are you sure that was the ending? Well, I heard a little different rendition of it when I was in jr high and it scared the bejeebees out of me! Maybe that was why I never would go "park"!! LOL
And no... Craig... I don't think I want to type the ending I heard. It wasn't anything risqué, just scared me and I want to sleep tonight! :p

Is this basically the same as the hook story?

(Pssst, jrebel. Why do you think I told that ending? I don't want Clough to lose sleep if he heard the REAL ending. He's too nice a guy to scare that way. And once we teens heard the entire story, we made out only on Devil's Nose and in the tunnel of love at Sea Breeze in Rochester and at Roseland Park in Canandaigua. No more cornfields for us! )

Hmmm, the hook story? That just might be very similar...

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

(Pssst, jrebel. Why do you think I told that ending?? I don't want Clough to lose sleep if he heard the REAL ending. He's too nice a guy to scare that way. And once we teens heard the entire story, we made out only on Devil's Nose and in the tunnel of love at Sea Breeze in Rochester and at Roseland Park in Canandaigua. No more cornfields for us!!)

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:p :p :p I liked your ending to the story ever so much better!! LOL I agree, he is too nice of a guy to scare that way! I enjoyed the suspense you put him through though! (Just teasing Craig!) Well, sort of, yeah, teasing, that's right, teasing! ;)
You sound like a fun person Wondergirl!

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Is this basically the same as the hook story?

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I think it might very well have been!! :eek:

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Originally Posted by jrebel7

You sound like a fun person Wondergirl!

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Oh yeah, that's me. Fun, fun, fun.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Is this basically the same as the hook story?

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Actually, I think there's a bit more blood in the hook story, and, of course, the cornfield story can't match the hook story for the immediate hysteria and hopelessness that set in at the end.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

(Pssst, jrebel. Why do you think I told that ending?? I don't want Clough to lose sleep if he heard the REAL ending. He's too nice a guy to scare that way. And once we teens heard the entire story, we made out only on Devil's Nose and in the tunnel of love at Sea Breeze in Rochester and at Roseland Park in Canandaigua. No more cornfields for us!!)

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:eek: BOOOOOOO!! I HEARD THAT!! SCARED YA, DIDN'T I?!?! :eek:

Remember, I'm a musician as well as a piano tuner. I have really good hearing!

That endings NOT scary enough! I can handle it, really I can! Thanks for the compliment, by the way! :)

THE SUMMIT BRIDGE
Written by Jrebel7

Far beyond the bright lights of the city,
Shame, shame, what a pity;
A car in the night ran through the rail,
Left no trace but a gory trail.

The squealing tires and the smashing blow,
Can still be heard down Summit Row;
The screaming voices of the dead,
Echo loudly through your head.

A headless ghoul slinking through the night,
My! My, what a fright,
Haunting those who dare to tread
Across her everlasting bed.

Those who have not seen the misty veil,
Claim it is only a weird tale,
Those who've braved the night and seen the veil,
Claim to have been put under her spell.

Brave and fearless though men may be,
Shall be terrified by the sight they see.
The stroke of midnight brings her out,
The headless ghoul running about.

While cars continue to tread the bridge,
She lies below the rivers ridge,
Telling her story to the passersby,
Through her ghostly lullaby.

The story passes from old to young,
About foul play which had been done.
A mystery remains around the ridge,
Since the wreck at the Summit Bridge.

I grew up hearing about this accident at the bridge. Made a visit at night with friends. Had an interesting experience... wrote the poem. I didn't go into all that the story did because it was sad plus very frightening and I have had enough fear in life to last a lifetime.
I have always been interested in the supernatural, psychic ability, stories of people seeing things others cannot see. I am a bit psychic myself. I began innocently studying Psychic Phenomenon in college on my own and learning of ghost sightings. I pulled friends in with me and we would go “ghost hunting”. I was 18 years old; open to ideas that made no sense to most. Later I felt for me, it was a wrong thing to pursue even though I do have many experiences that happen without my pursuing them however, feel those things are blessings, in that it usually helps someone in real trouble.

Hope you enjoy the poem!

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Originally Posted by jrebel7

THE SUMMIT BRIDGE
Written by Jrebel7

Far beyond the bright lights of the city,
Shame, shame, what a pity;
A car in the night ran through the rail,
Left no trace but a gory trail.

The squealing tires and the smashing blow,
Can still be heard down Summit Row;
The screaming voices of the dead,
Echo loudly through your head.

A headless ghoul slinking through the night,
My! My, what a fright,
Haunting those who dare to tread
Across her everlasting bed.

Those who have not seen the misty veil,
Claim it is only a weird tale,
Those who’ve braved the night and seen the veil,
Claim to have been put under her spell.

Brave and fearless though men may be,
Shall be terrified by the sight they see.
The stroke of midnight brings her out,
The headless ghoul running about.

While cars continue to tread the bridge,
She lies below the rivers ridge,
Telling her story to the passersby,
Through her ghostly lullaby.

The story passes from old to young,
About foul play which had been done.
A mystery remains around the ridge,
Since the wreck at the Summit Bridge.

I grew up hearing about this accident at the bridge. Made a visit at night with friends. Had an interesting experience.......wrote the poem. I didn't go into all that the story did because it was sad plus very frightening and I have had enough fear in life to last a lifetime.
I have always been interested in the supernatural, psychic ability, stories of people seeing things others cannot see. I am a bit psychic myself. I began innocently studying Psychic Phenomenon in college on my own and learning of ghost sightings. I pulled friends in with me and we would go “ghost hunting”. I was 18 years old; open to ideas that made no sense to most. Later I felt for me, it was a wrong thing to pursue even though I do have many experiences that happen without my pursuing them however, feel those things are blessings, in that it usually helps someone in real trouble.

Hope you enjoy the poem!

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Now, that's more like it! Nice poem, Jan!