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-   -   Wanted: Your Favorite Short Halloween Stories and Jokes!" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=145095)

  • Oct 28, 2007, 02:44 AM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by br_hjs
    I never really like halloween much. last year was fun but my family never really does anything for it other than my mom buys a ton of candy when its on sale. And not for trick-or-treaters but for us. lol.

    I am wondering why it is not for trick-or-treaters but for you? :confused:
  • Oct 28, 2007, 05:18 AM
    rpg219
    I have a corny one to add...

    Why did the witch's mail rattle?

    She got a chain letter



    Hahahahahahahaha... I told you it was corny :)
  • Oct 29, 2007, 02:13 PM
    Clough
    Corny is great!

    Any other takers here?
  • Oct 29, 2007, 02:15 PM
    Synnen
    What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
    Frostbite...

    Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
    No, they eat the fingers separately...
  • Oct 29, 2007, 04:24 PM
    Emland
    Why do you always see ghouls with demons?


    Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
  • Oct 29, 2007, 07:41 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen
    What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
    Frostbite...


    I always wondered how frostbite came to be! :)
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:13 PM
    Clough
    Halloween's just around the corner and I am looking for people who want to get silly and creative here who would join with me in writing a Halloween story as part of this thread. Any takers? I need to know if there's at least a few people who would be willing to participate before I begin. Thank you! :)
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:15 PM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    Yes, of course that was a coincidence. Yes. Definitely it was.

    I've had no encounters with RM. I used to do home visits for counseling along one side of the cemetery, but it was during the day, so no Mary. Hmmmm. One of my clients in that area was named Mary. Hmmmm.

    Another librarian and I went to a haunted bar-restaurant one Friday the 13th, but nothing happened while we were there. We drank Black Russians and ate cheeseburgers. The evening wore on. We switched to gin and tonics and then tried the beer on tap. I don't remember anything happening. I don't remember the name of the other librarian either.

    (Just kidding, folks!!)

    Here's the bar and its story --

    Clarendon Hills - HauntedHouses.com

    I have been there many times Wonder, yes I have heard many things first hand concerning strange things that have happened and supposedly still do. One is that there is a satanic circle in the concrete in the basement. The old owners try to deny much of the happenings but will say that "things move without anyone being near them, I have seen it happen." The place has great burgers.:eek:
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:29 PM
    Stringer
    Sign in a funeral home.. "you may not like flowers, but they will grow on you."
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:36 PM
    Wondergirl
    For the story, you will need a gimmick. When I taught creative writing, I wrote the first sentence. The next writer wrote only one sentence. And so on. There are many variations on this such as using the alphabet somehow.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:43 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    For the story, you will need a gimmick. When I taught creative writing, I wrote the first sentence. The next writer wrote only one sentence. And so on. There are many variations on this such as using the alphabet somehow.

    Hey, you must be sleep-walking. You're still supposed to be over on the Imrove thread! I was going to use this as part of your training in improvisation. The one-line thing is exactly what I had in mind. There are just a couple of guidelines that I wanted people to follow.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:46 PM
    Wondergirl
    I'M on the Improv thread, but you don't seem to be. You are spreading yourself too thin, methinks.

    State your guidelines please.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 10:55 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    I'M on the Improv thread, but you don't seem to be. You are spreading yourself too thin, methinks.

    State your guidelines please.

    I will when we have at least one more taker.

    Quote:

    Originally posted by Clough Halloween's just around the corner and I am looking for people who want to get silly and creative here who would join with me in writing a Halloween story as part of this thread. Any takers? I need to know if there's at least a few people who would be willing to participate before I begin. Thank you!
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:16 PM
    Wondergirl
    Everyone's in bed.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:25 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    Everyone's in bed.


    Probably so. Do you think that I should start anyway? :)

    I was also hoping that this would be a way to get certain you-know-whos to think about something different for a change rather than the same old, same old...
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:31 PM
    Wondergirl
    Yes, I understand.

    Let's begin. Start a new thread. First explain, then in a second post begin the story with one sentence. Please commence.

    Maybe even have several story threads going--silly, spooky, bloody, etc.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:33 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    Yes, I understand.

    Let's begin. Start a new thread. First explain, then in a second post begin the story with one sentence. Please commence.

    Maybe even have several story threads going--silly, spooky, bloody, etc.

    Okay, I will. But, I did want one to be a part of this thread also. It could work. Let me check out your other response to our "Improv" that we have going though.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:42 PM
    firmbeliever
    I am in... for the story!
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:44 PM
    Wondergirl
    Wow! With firmbeliever as part of this effort, it might just work out! Firmbeliever is cool! I should email some of the regulars.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:52 PM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by firmbeliever
    I am in...for the story!!

    Cool, firm! Glad that you latched onto this! It will be coming!
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:53 PM
    firmbeliever
    Wondergirl!
    Thanks for thinking I am "cool";)
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:56 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by firmbeliever
    Wondergirl!! Thanks for thinking I am "cool";)

    You ARE, aren't you? Please don't say I'm wrong. You write well and give well-thought-out answers.
  • Oct 29, 2007, 11:57 PM
    Clough
    I am going to start one on this thread as a test before posting a totally new thread. Of course the timing is perfect for starting a new thread. My next message will be the post on this thread to start the story. Let's make this one a silly Halloween story. Not so much blood and guts or scary, but just silly. Might involve a ghost or two, or even a joke. Okay?
  • Oct 30, 2007, 12:00 AM
    Wondergirl
    Get on with it, man! I have to go to bed.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 12:14 AM
    Clough
    Hey, everyone! As part of this thread, please feel free to add to this story that I'm going to start. Here are the only things that I am asking you to do in order to try to ensure that it works.

    1. Please copy and paste what the previous poster has written in addition to what has already been written before and paste it all into your post. I just would like to make the story continuous in case someone comes along with another response to my original question that I asked on this thread that isn't part of the story.

    2. Please only write one sentence or two, at the max, to add to the story.

    Here is the beginning of the story. Let's see how it goes! :D

    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY

    It was late at night one Halloween, and the three of us kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. All three of us were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 12:27 AM
    Wondergirl
    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY

    It was late at night one Halloween, and the three of us kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. All three of us were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together. We had been put to bed already, but it was Halloween, after all, so me and Joey and Stevie snuck out of our houses and met at the corner of Fifth and Norton and put our heads together as to what we wanted to do, especially since we weren't real fond of our gym teacher, Mr. Brock, who lived just a block away from where we were standing at that very moment.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 12:33 AM
    Clough
    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY

    It was late at night one Halloween, and the three of us kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. All three of us were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together. We had been put to bed already, but it was Halloween, after all, so me and Joey and Stevie snuck out of our houses and met at the corner of Fifth and Norton and put our heads together as to what we wanted to do, especially since all three of us weren't real fond of our gym teacher, Mr. Brock, who lived just a block away from where we were standing at that very moment.

    "Hey!" said Joey. "Why don't we play a trick on Mr. Brock!" "Maybe we could play "ding-dong-ditch-it on him!"

    "Stevie though, thought that he had a better idea. "Since it's Halloween, why don't we do something to really try to scare him?"
  • Oct 30, 2007, 12:36 AM
    Wondergirl
    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY

    It was late at night one Halloween, and us three kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. We were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together. We had been put to bed already, but it was Halloween, after all, so me and Joey and Stevie snuck out of our houses and met at the corner of Fifth and Norton and put our heads together as to what we wanted to do, especially since all three of us weren't real fond of our gym teacher, Mr. Brock, who lived just a block away from where we were standing at that very moment.

    "Hey!" said Joey. "Why don't we play a trick on Mr. Brock!" "Maybe we could play "ding-dong-ditch-it on him!"

    Stevie, though, thought that he had a better idea. "Since it's Halloween, why don't we do something to really try to scare him?"

    "Naw," I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're gonna die laughing when you hear it!"
  • Oct 30, 2007, 01:14 AM
    Clough
    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY


    It was late at night one Halloween, and us three kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. We were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together. We had been put to bed already, but it was Halloween, after all, so me and Joey and Stevie snuck out of our houses and met at the corner of Fifth and Norton and put our heads together as to what we wanted to do, especially since all three of us weren't real fond of our gym teacher, Mr. Brock, who lived just a block away from where we were standing at that very moment.

    "Hey!" said Joey. "Why don't we play a trick on Mr. Brock!" "Maybe we could play "ding-dong-ditch-it on him!"

    Stevie, though, thought that he had a better idea. "Since it's Halloween, why don't we do something to really try to scare him?"

    "Naw," I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're going to die laughing when you hear it!" I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're gonna die laughing when you hear it!"So, what is it?" Said Joey and Stevie.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 02:05 AM
    firmbeliever
    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY


    It was late at night one Halloween, and us three kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. We were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together. We had been put to bed already, but it was Halloween, after all, so me and Joey and Stevie snuck out of our houses and met at the corner of Fifth and Norton and put our heads together as to what we wanted to do, especially since all three of us weren't real fond of our gym teacher, Mr. Brock, who lived just a block away from where we were standing at that very moment.

    "Hey!" said Joey. "Why don't we play a trick on Mr. Brock!" "Maybe we could play "ding-dong-ditch-it on him!"

    Stevie, though, thought that he had a better idea. "Since it's Halloween, why don't we do something to really try to scare him?"

    "Naw," I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're going to die laughing when you hear it!" I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're gonna die laughing when you hear it!"So, what is it?" Said Joey and Stevie.

    "So, what is it?" I said.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 02:17 AM
    Clough
    A SILLY HALLOWEEN STORY


    It was late at night one Halloween, and us three kids were trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. We were in the 4th grade at the school we attended together. We had been put to bed already, but it was Halloween, after all, so me and Joey and Stevie snuck out of our houses and met at the corner of Fifth and Norton and put our heads together as to what we wanted to do, especially since all three of us weren't real fond of our gym teacher, Mr. Brock, who lived just a block away from where we were standing at that very moment.

    "Hey!" said Joey. "Why don't we play a trick on Mr. Brock!" "Maybe we could play "ding-dong-ditch-it on him!"

    Stevie, though, thought that he had a better idea. "Since it's Halloween, why don't we do something to really try to scare him?"

    "Naw," I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're going to die laughing when you hear it!" I said. I have the most perfect idea of all, and you're gonna die laughing when you hear it!"So, what is it?" Said Joey and Stevie.

    "So, what is it?" I said.

    Joey thought that would be a good idea, because Mr. Brock would be surprised by the caramel onions because he would have thought that they were really some sort of sweet delight! However, Stevie had a different idea and said, "Let's make some caramel onions and we can give them to Mr.Brock"
  • Oct 30, 2007, 07:19 AM
    BiWiccanAndProud
    1 Attachment(s)
    Hey guys! I was in the haunted house again last night! Check out my make up this time! XD I look so much worse!! Oh oh oh and best scare of the night!!

    My boyfriend scared the out of three guys with the giant spider right before my room! They were so scared they ran right past me and made it through the rest of the house in like 10 seconds! And a tie with three girls that me and my boyfriend together scared so bad that whey they got to the barrel area (with Freddy, Jason, Leather face, and Jeepers Creepers guy) they were so scared they just ran past all the scary guys and beat the crap out of Freddy!!

    Attachment 5108
  • Oct 31, 2007, 05:57 PM
    grammadidi
    Sorry if some of these are duplicates... too many to read through and see if they are already here! They came through one of my women's groups today. They are pretty bad!! :D

    Halloween Definitions

    Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

    Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.

    Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.

    Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over
    To fix your fridge.

    Goblin: How you eat the Snickers bars you got for Halloween.

    Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework
    To be done.

    Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin.

    Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets
    After losing each week.

    Mummy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

    Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.

    Skeleton: Any supermodel.

    Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with.

    Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee

    Halloween Hugs,
    Didi
  • Oct 31, 2007, 06:57 PM
    jrebel7
    Good ones Didi!! :) HAPPY DAY!
  • Oct 31, 2007, 07:31 PM
    Stringer
    Evening Clough; If you are interested in a real happening that occurred some years ago, I could be convinced to share...
  • Oct 31, 2007, 07:34 PM
    jrebel7
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer
    Evening Clough; If you are interested in a real happening that occurred some years ago, I could be convinced to share.......

    I'm not Clough but I do love and appreciate true stories. Please do share! :)
  • Oct 31, 2007, 07:41 PM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jrebel7
    I'm not Clough but I do love and appreciate true stories. Please do share! :)

    Thanks... I will, but I need to go for a little while... eat some of the kids candy before they wake up.

    Seriously jrebel, I'll be back later or early tomorrow morning. Some interesting "stuff" that happened to me, my kids and my ex-wife. Although she would never admit it today... she feels that if she speaks about it, it will "draw" some nasty visitors that she doesn't want to even think about again.
  • Oct 31, 2007, 07:57 PM
    Wondergirl
    Hmm, Stringer. It wasn't at Resurrection Cemetery, was it? Or at the Country House in Clarendon Hills? Or at Queen of Heaven?
  • Oct 31, 2007, 08:27 PM
    jrebel7
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer
    Thanks......I will, but I need to go for a little while........eat some of the kids candy before they wake up.

    Seriously jrebel, I'll be back later or early tomorrow morning. Some interesting "stuff" that happened to me, my kids and my ex-wife. Although she would never admit it today...she feels that if she speaks about it, it will "draw" some nasty visitors that she doesn't want to even think about again.

    Ok Stringer! It sounds rather ominous!! I may wait until light of day to read! LOL :p I will look forward to your story. Until later then! Enjoy the candy!! ;)
  • Oct 31, 2007, 08:28 PM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    Hmm, Stringer. It wasn't at Resurrection Cemetery, was it? Or at the Country House in Clarendon Hills? Or at Queen of Heaven?

    As you know, at least one of those IS for real. But no, this happened in Niles, Ohio in an old grand house.

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