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-   -   Im 17 and I need to move in with my Mother (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=760807)

  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:31 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Im 17 and I need to move in with my Mother
    Hi I'm a 17 year old girl who lives with my father and step mother. The house which I live in is past dirty its unhealthy and I'm becoming really sick but every time I call DCF he cleans it up to pass the Ladies judgment, then within days it filthy again. I go to school then come home get yelled and screamed at and forced to clean up till 1 AM then wake up at 4:30 am to get ready for school. I'm called a lying , I've been slapped (no marks are left) My father doesn't buy me clothes My boyfriend buys me clothes and food. My stepmother is always in my face calling me a , saying that I'm worthless and they have been doing this since I was 4 years old. I have done nothing but be nice and do what they say but lately its too much. I lost control of my mind I cut myself, I beat my head against the wall, I even put a loaded gun into my mouth, I'm at my mothers for the summer and everyday my father comes over breaks custody and drags me back to his house to clean his mess, he calls me up screaming and saying that I'm stealing from him when I'm not even home to steal from him. I can't go back there because I won't see my 18th birthday party I'll be dead. I'm this depressed to seek help from strangers because my mom has gone to court and I am scared and tired. I sleep all day, even my boyfriend has been trying to find a way for me to get out. He and my mother are the only people who protect me but I'm slowly slipping away from sanity and mental safety. Please.. please help me.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:35 PM
    Wondergirl
    Have you ever called the police so there's a paper trail on this?

    Hurting yourself won't solve anything. When will you be 18?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:37 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Have you ever called the police so there's a paper trail on this?

    Hurting yourself won't solve anything. When will you be 18?
    No I haven't called the police because I'm scared that he'll attack me or punish me
    And I turn 18 May 5th
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    No I havent called the police because I'm scared that he'll attack me or punish me
    and I turn 18 May 5th
    Are you ever at home alone? And he's at work?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:40 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Are you ever at home alone? and he's at work?
    He has heart problems and a foot amputee so he is ALWAYS home he's not as bad as my step mother but I shouldn't be trying to kill myself over them by the way I do all his medical work I pick up his medican I stay in the hospital with him I give him his shots and I pretty much could pass as a nurse at 17 and I still get slapped if I bring something wrong
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:41 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    He has heart problems and a foot amputee so he is ALWAYS home hes not as bad as my step mother but I shouldn't be trying to kill myself over them btw i do all his medical work I pick up his medican i stay in the hospital with him i give him his shots and I pretty much could pass as a nurse at 17 and i still get slapped if i bring something wrong
    Have you reported this abuse to one of the teachers or the principal at school?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:42 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Have you reported this abuse to one of the teachers or the principal at school?
    Yes and they have me talk to DCF and I tell them what's going on and in the end they drop the case
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:42 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    Yes and they have me talk to DCF and I tell them whats going on and in the end they drop the case
    Why does your father have custody of you?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:43 PM
    N0help4u
    If you have a cell phone tale pics of the worst messes of the house that they can't deny making. Don't let them know. Your mom Should take this to CPS and get a GAL advocate for you.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:43 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Because when I was 4 years old I said I wanted to live with him
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:44 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    Because when I was 4 years old I said I wanted to live with him
    Your mother needs to go to court to ask for custody.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:45 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    If you have a cell phone tale pics of the worst messes of the house that they can't deny making. Dont let them know. Your mom Should take this to CPS and get a GAL advocate for you.
    We have pictures we have pictures of cat waste and roaches everywhere along with mold we have pictures
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:46 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Your mother needs to go to court to ask for custody.
    She has but how long will it take?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:46 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    We have pictures we have pictures of cat waste and roaches everywhere along with mold we have pictures
    And?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:47 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    She has but how long will it take?
    When did she ask the court?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:47 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    And?
    We have taken it to court and they warn my dad saying someone is going to come look at the house and he cleans it up
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:48 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    When did she ask the court?
    Last year
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:49 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    last year
    And her lawyer tells her what?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:53 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    And her lawyer tells her what?
    I don't know I get yelled at for calling her and my phone taken away if I do so
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:56 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    I dont know i get yelled at for calling her and my phone taken away if i do so
    She must have some custody of you -- weekends? Did you appear in court when she applied for custody? Like No asked did assigning a guardian ad litem get discussed? Which state is this?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:57 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    She must have some custody of you -- weekends? Did you appear in court when she applied for custody? Like No asked did assigning a guardian ad litem get discussed? Which state is this?
    Its Florida she gets every other weekend everyother holiday and half the summer
  • Jul 31, 2013, 07:59 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    its florida she gets every other weekend everyother holiday and half the summer
    So you have already spent time there this summer?

    Did you appear in court to ask for a change? (If they listened to you at age 4, they should certainly listen when you are 17.)
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:03 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    So you have already spent time there this summer?

    Did you appear in court to ask for a change? (If they listened to you at age 4, they should certainly listen when you are 17.)
    Yes I'm still here at the moment and I am a bit happier but the second he calls me which is every day I'm in tears. And I haven't asked to be seen in court yet most of the time when she is there I'm not allowed to leave the house or talk to her to ask
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:05 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    Yes I'm still here at the moment and I am a bit happier but the second he calls me which is every day im in tears. and I havent asked to be seen in court yet most of the time when she is there im not allowed to leave the house or talk to her to ask
    You should have been part of the deal (appearing) last year when your mom went to court.

    Why are you so restricted when at your mom's? He has no say then.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:06 PM
    TrimbleChey
    At my moms house we do talk and we try figuring out what to do and we both deal with him he restricts me there she holds me while I cry and just to ask because she won't tell me how much is a lawyer that can save me?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:07 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You should have been part of the deal (appearing) last year when your mom went to court.

    Why are you so restricted when at your mom's? He has no say then.
    At my moms house we do talk and we try figuring out what to do and we both deal with him he restricts me there she holds me while I cry and just to ask because she won't tell me how much is a lawyer that can save me?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:07 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    At my moms house we do talk and we try figuring out what to do and we both deal with him he restricts me there she holds me while i cry and just to ask because she wont tell me how much is a lawyer that can save me?
    How can he restrict you?

    I thought she went to court last year and has a lawyer and this is being dealt with.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:10 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How can he restrict you?

    I thought she went to court last year and has a lawyer and this is being dealt with.
    She did and I just want to now that for my own knowledge and he yells and if I don't listen he takes my things that I paid for and breaks them. He starts screaming and puts me in tears
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:12 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    She did and i just want to now that for my own knowledge and he yells and if i dont listen he takes my things that i paid for and breaks them. He starts screaming and puts me in tears
    He lives next door, or what?

    If you want to know about what happened in court, your mom can tell you that.

    Why did you choose to live with him when you were four? Most daughters would choose "Mommy."
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:16 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    He lives next door, or what?

    If you want to know about what happened in court, your mom can tell you that.

    Why did you choose to live with him when you were four? Most daughters would choose "Mommy."
    My little sister was a very angry because of the divorce and she would hit me and remembering how my treated my mom if anyone hit me I backed down so I ran to him realized it was a big mistake two years later. He lives 35 minutes away in deltona my mom lives in ormond
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:18 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    My little sister was a very angry because of the divorce and she would hit me and remembering how my treated my mom if anyone hit me i backed down so i ran to him realized it was a big mistake two years later. he lives 35 minutes away in deltona my mom lives in ormond
    She was younger than four and still understood what divorce was and hit YOU?

    So what happened in court last year?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:22 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    She was younger than four and still understood what divorce was and hit YOU?

    So what happened in court last year?
    I don't know what happen all I knew was she didn't get custody of me and yeah she understood and she still does she knows what she did but she and I are close to each other now
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:24 PM
    J_9
    As this is a legal question it has been moved to the Family Law section of the site.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:24 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TrimbleChey View Post
    I dont know what happen all i knew was she didnt get custody of me and yeah she understood and she still does she knows what she did but she and i are close to each other now
    If she could prove you live in filth (the photos) and testified that you are physically and emotionally abused, why didn't she get primary custody?
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:25 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    If she could prove you live in filth (the photos) and testified that you are physically and emotionally abused, why didn't she get primary custody?
    We didn't have the pictures then and he never leaves mark but I could come and show that I'm depressed
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:26 PM
    Wondergirl
    Thanks, J. I was going to do that momentarily. Was trying to get as much info as I could -- lots of confusing stuff in this.
  • Jul 31, 2013, 08:39 PM
    TrimbleChey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Thanks, J. I was going to do that momentarily. Was trying to get as much info as I could -- lots of confusing stuff in this.
    Sorry that Im being confusing Let me clear this up a little bit
    My parents got divorced when I was four and my father kicked us out while his girlfriend lived with us after a few months my sister was angry and she started to hit me and I wanted to go live with him not understanding anything since I was so young I went and lived with him and three days later he filed for custody for me everything was fine for the first two years but slowly they started to snap and become more abusive mentally then my step mother would start to hit me and call me a c**nt and a b**ch etc etc. I started telling my teachers at 13 that I'm was scared to go home some called DCF and DCF would warn my parents they would clean the roach infested and cat infested home spray it heavily and the house would pass as normal and they would call off the case. Well I started calling in telling them don't warn my parents just come and see this and each time they would warn him. I reaked of cat piss and poop I would be bullied I would double wash my clothes just so my asthma would get set off but it was no good I started getting infections, started coughing up blood went to the doctors and they said it was a bad infection and just gave me meds. Im happy for a little bit at my mothers and I love my boyfriend which we are getting married in 2015 I've been with him since I was 13 and my mom sister, and boyfriend are the only ones who see this and try to protect me and I try to protect myself but I have no sanity left I just want to be laid in the ground I hurt so much and I can't remember when I wasn't hurting and I believe death is my answer but I don't want to do that I don't do homework because I can't I have no time to do it but I'm still a straight A student because I take online classes behind his back and I want to go to college to become a nurse and I want to have a family but if I kill myself then what? I hurt other people but if I stay there Im going to keep bashing my head into walls I'm still going to cry myself to sleep, I'm still going to cut my wrist in hopes ill just go to sleep and never wake up I need answers I need to leave please tell me what to do and I do it I have pictures and videos of the house and its pretty obvious that I'm depressed. We don't have money I don't know much about the court and I just need to know how I can not go back to him in a few weeks.
  • Aug 1, 2013, 01:44 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Strictly from a legal standpoint no 4 year old gets to decide where she wants to live. No one.

    If the mother has asked for a change in custody MAYBE it would take 5 months to get on the calendar. Maybe, in Florida right now, and that's on the outside. An emergency hearing? "About" 5 business days.

    I see a suicidal teen crying for help - I just can't understand the circumstances. Of course, she might have a voice in where she lives until she's 18, but not if she's suicidal and her testimony is considered unreliable.

    Short term solution? Mother gets her admitted to psych hospital and then files for custody - and that also gets a true, good, valuable medical evaluation. In the meantime, teen can't go back to her father because she can't go anywhere.

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