Im 16 and live in Iowa. I have a part time job and have budgeted for every expense I will need to support myself, from the garbage bills to medical plan. I have found places that will rent to minors by just small rooms. My mom is emotionally and physically abusive. I have the ability to get letters and recommendations from counselors and Physiatrists saying that she is not emotionally stable and I should be removed from the home. My siblings have all left and haven't spoken to my mom in 9 years. My dad is 72 but in great health. But his beliefs are rash and almost out of touch with reality. And health issues could be a problem at anytime with him. With the way things are going I have no stable household and am just being shuffled around from mom to dad and am worried with the way things are going the stress will break me and ill give up with life and my education. Do I have enough reason for emancipation?

I don't think you are old enough. Do you still attend High School?

You only have to be 16. And yes I do.

You have to go to court. You will find out then.

Courts are very reluctant to emancipate a minor. But it does appear you have done your homework. On the other hand, we don't know whether you have tried to get family counseling or pursued other ways of managing the stress.

I suggest you speak to a counselor at school to help you deal with this.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Courts are very reluctant to emancipate a minor. But it does appear you have done your homework. On the other hand, we don't know whether you have tried to get family counseling or pursued other ways of managing the stress.

I suggest you speak to a counselor at school to help you deal with this.

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We have tried as a family 6 different family counselors. None were pursued because my mother hated them and thought they did absolutely nothing. In reality they all thought she was the problem.
Thank you the info was helpful

Have you talked with a school counselor yourself?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Have you talked with a school counselor yourself?

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About stress? My family? Or emancipation?
-iv talked to many counselers about both stress and my family situation. I manage stress pretty well.

No, about getting emancipated -- to go over your figures with you to make sure they are realistic and have covered everything.

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

you only have to be 16. and yes i do.

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I don't see any provision for emancipation in the Iowa Code. One would expect to find it in Title XV, Subtitle 1, Chapter 599; or maybe Title XV, Subtitle 5.

What is the statute, Miaaaa?

AK lawyer, 232C.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No, about getting emancipated -- to go over your figures with you to make sure they are realistic and have covered everything.

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I will do that... thank you

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

AK lawyer, 232C.

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Thanks, Wondergirl. I don't see anything in there that would definitely prevent the court from ordering emancipation in this case. Clear and convinciing evidence is a tough burden of proof, though.

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

... I have found places that will rent to minors by just small rooms. ...

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And, of course, they should understand that if you were emancipated, you would no longer be, in effect, a minor for their purposes anyway. You would have the legal capacity to enter into contracts, for example.

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

I don't see any provision for emancipation in the Iowa Code. One would expect to find it in Title XV, Subtitle 1, Chapter 599; or maybe Title XV, Subtitle 5.

What is the statute, Miaaaa?

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I think this is what it is

232C.1 EMANCIPATION PETITION -- HEARING.
1. A minor who desires to become emancipated may file a petition
For an order of emancipation in juvenile court if all of the
Following apply:
a. The minor is sixteen years of age or older.
b. The minor is a resident of this state.
c. The minor is not in the care, custody, or control of the
State.
etc.

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

Thanks, Wondergirl. I don't see anything in there that would definitely prevent the court from ordering emancipation in this case. Clear and convinciing evidence is a tough burden of proof, though.



And, of course, they should understand that if you were emancipated, you would no longer be, in effect, a minor for their purposes anyway. You would have the legal capacity to enter into contracts, for example.

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I do understand that if I were to be emanicpated I could enter into contracts. I could show the court that the rent and needs are put in my budget.

The problem is in c (1):
The minor has demonstrated financial self-sufficiency,
Including proof of employment or other means of support, which does
Not include assistance or subsidies from a federal, state, or local
Governmental agency.

You say you have a part time job. I find it hard to imagine a part time job that could allow you to demonstrate "financial self sufficiency".

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

The problem is in c (1):
The minor has demonstrated financial self-sufficiency,
including proof of employment or other means of support, which does
not include assistance or subsidies from a federal, state, or local
governmental agency.

You say you have a part time job. I find it hard to imagine a part time job that could allow you to demonstrate "financial self sufficiency".

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Im not quite understanding? If I were to work full time I wouldn't have time for school during the day showing I'm not (3) The minor has demonstrated an ability and commitment to obtain and maintain education, vocational training, or employment.
... I work 35 hours a week if not more

All your financial support comes from your job? No one else provides for you?

Let me put it this way. States do NOT want to emancipate minors. They specifically make it very hard to qualify for emancipation. So yes, clause 3 seems contradictory to 1. If you work enough to prove financial self sufficiency then it going to be hard to prove a commitment to obtaining an education,

Have you ever seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7soJdOhKZM

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

All your financial support comes from your job? No one else provides for you?

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I get a roof over my head from my mom and food... But I have extensive list of everything that I will need to pay with money in the bank as a 3 month saving in case of emergency. So yes as of now I'm getting little help from my mom.

You can't live with your mom, at home.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Let me put it this way. States do NOT want to emancipate minors. They specifically make it very hard to qualify for emancipation. So yes, clause 3 seems contradictory to 1. If you work enough to prove financial self sufficiency then it going to be hard to prove a commitment to obtaining an education,

Have you ever seen this: Theo's budget - YouTube

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I don't see why they wouldn't grant it to me. Yes I see very good points being made. But if DHS were to get involved with so much evidance against my mom I would be removed.

I have no legal advice. I can only say that I'm impressed. You are only 16, and most times I would join the thread and say "you're too young, you don't know what you're doing, you need to think this through". I still think you're too young, but you're well written, and obviously intelligent, and whatever you decide to do, within the law, I wish you all the best.

My only advice, which isn't legal, would be to try to stick it out. You're obviously strong, and have flourished despite the bad parenting you're receiving. The longer you can stay in the home, finish school, get a job that pays well, even go to college (which is something you could well do. You are a bright kid, and I don't say that to everyone), the better off you'll be.

My concern right now is not so much for the situation you're in, because you've been handling that situation, but your future. The more education you get, the better the job, the better your future. That's my main concern for you right now. Being emancipated at 16, being responsible for only you, on a tight budget, and you may never realize your potential. That would be a travesty, because you do have potential!

I for one am cheering for you to reach the potential I see in you. Heck, you didn't even use text talk. I'm impressed, and I'm not easily impressed.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You can't live with your mom, at home.

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I do realize. But if I show I can support myself... I have detailed budgets, evidance from counselors and phys saying it is best for me. I can't exactly just pack up and leave my home this second. I would be reported as a runaway. Meaning 232c.3 d. The criminal record of the minor." me being a runaway doesn't show anything good for me trying to get out.

I'm with Alty. Stick it out until you are 18. Finish high school and save gobs of money. You'll be glad you did it that way.

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Originally Posted by Alty

I have no legal advice. I can only say that I'm impressed. You are only 16, and most times I would join the thread and say "you're too young, you don't know what you're doing, you need to think this through". I still think you're too young, but you're well written, and obviously intelligent, and whatever you decide to do, within the law, I wish you all the best.

My only advice, which isn't legal, would be to try to stick it out. You're obviously strong, and have flourished despite the bad parenting you're receiving. The longer you can stay in the home, finish school, get a job that pays well, even go to college (which is something you could well do. You are a bright kid, and I don't say that to everyone), the better off you'll be.

My concern right now is not so much for the situation you're in, because you've been handling that situation, but your future. The more education you get, the better the job, the better your future. That's my main concern for you right now. Being emancipated at 16, being responsible for only you, on a tight budget, and you may never realize your potential. That would be a travesty, because you do have potential!

I for one am cheering for you to reach the potential I see in you. Heck, you didn't even use text talk. I'm impressed, and I'm not easily impressed.

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Thank you. This response was extremely helpful. Ill take any advice given to me and the points you gave, gives me something to think about. I have 2 years left. I suppose to me it seems like a lot but maybe I will try other options and stick it out.

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

Thank you. this response was extremely helpful. Ill take any advice given to me and the points you gave, gives me something to think about. I have 2 years left. I suppose to me it seems like alot but maybe i will try other options and stick it out.

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Two years, in the great scheme of things, is nothing. You've stuck it out for 16 years. What's two more?

Right now, even though you're not in ideal conditions, you're living rent free, and they have to support you. In those two years you can put money away from the job you have. You can save up, and when you do leave, you'll be even better off.

Read my other threads. Posts like yours, I'm usually harsh, because it's warranted. With your posts, I see something in you. I see the person you could become, despite your parents, and the situation you're in. My posts to you are very unlike me. I see something in you, and I'm hoping you see it too.

I'm going to be blunt, because I always am. Screw your parents. Don't leave because you deserve to be rid of them. Stay, and do the best you can for you and your future. You have a bright future ahead of you. My gut is saying so.

You're not some spoiled 16 year old that wants to leave home because her parents won't let her go to a party. You have real concerns, and my heart aches for you because of them, more than you can ever know. But, you've stuck it out, and you thrived despite the parents you where chosen to get. You could be anything you want! You have that in you. Don't throw that away, even though you have every right to want to. Stick it out. You can do that. You've been doing that. Stick it out, go to school, continue to excel, and be the best you can be, and my gut is telling me that you can be the very best. You can succeed. Don't hamper yourself right now. Let them pay for you, they owe that to you, and by law they have to. Let them pay for the next 2 years while you do everything you can, and are capable of, to make it, and then some.

I really hope you decide to stick it out, and become who I know in my heart you can be, despite your parents. You've made it this far. You can go the distance.

You should know that while I'm writing this, I'm in tears, and I'm not easily brought to tears. I see so much potential in you. Please, don't throw it away. Think long and hard about the decisions you make. I wish I could be there in person to support you, but all I have is words on the internet. I hope you read them, and see the sincerity in them. I'm not normally moved to tears, and I've never had this much faith in a poster before. I'm going with my gut, and my gut says you're someone special. Now you have to believe that, and go with it. I hope you do. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alty

Two years, in the great scheme of things, is nothing. You've stuck it out for 16 years. What's two more?

Right now, even though you're not in ideal conditions, you're living rent free, and they have to support you. In those two years you can put money away from the job you have. You can save up, and when you do leave, you'll be even better off.

Read my other threads. Posts like yours, I'm usually harsh, because it's warranted. With your posts, I see something in you. I see the person you could become, despite your parents, and the situation you're in. My posts to you are very unlike me. I see something in you, and I'm hoping you see it too.

I'm going to be blunt, because I always am. Screw your parents. Don't leave because you deserve to be rid of them. Stay, and do the best you can for you and your future. You have a bright future ahead of you. My gut is saying so.

You're not some spoiled 16 year old that wants to leave home because her parents won't let her go to a party. You have real concerns, and my heart aches for you because of them, more than you can ever know. But, you've stuck it out, and you thrived despite the parents you where chosen to get. You could be anything you want! You have that in you. Don't throw that away, even though you have every right to want to. Stick it out. You can do that. You've been doing that. Stick it out, go to school, continue to excel, and be the best you can be, and my gut is telling me that you can be the very best. You can succeed. Don't hamper yourself right now. Let them pay for you, they owe that to you, and by law they have to. Let them pay for the next 2 years while you do everything you can, and are capable of, to make it, and then some.

I really hope you decide to stick it out, and become who I know in my heart you can be, despite your parents. You've made it this far. You can go the distance.

You should know that while I'm writing this, I'm in tears, and I'm not easily brought to tears. I see so much potential in you. Please, don't throw it away. Think long and hard about the decisions you make. I wish I could be there in person to support you, but all I have is words on the internet. I hope you read them, and see the sincerity in them. I'm not normally moved to tears, and I've never had this much faith in a poster before. I'm going with my gut, and my gut says you're someone special. Now you have to believe that, and go with it. I hope you do. :)

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All you have is words on the internet.yes... but these words may be the most meaningful I have heard in the longest time. And they are said by a complete stranger. As I read this it moved ME to tears. And growing up the way I have tears are a no no ,they show weakness.

In 3 years when I think back "hey, you made it out alive." I'm going to think of that one person on that random ask site I posted to at midnight who gave me hope that I can make it and will make it. Just to stick it to everyone especially my parents that I did and was able to do something with my life. And I owe you the random most helpful, sincere person a huge chunk of that. And I give you the most sincere gratitude. Because now ill look at my situation in a different outlook. That I shouldn't have to give up a huge amount of my life for the mistakes my parents have made. And I thank you for giving me that outlook.

I wish you the very best young lady

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

All you have is words on the internet.yes...but these words may be the most meaningful i have heard in the longest time. And they are said by a complete stranger. As i read this it moved ME to tears. And growing up the way i have tears are a no no ,they show weakness.

In 3 years when i think back "hey, you made it out alive." i'm going to think of that one person on that random ask site i posted to at midnight who gave me hope that I can make it and will make it. Just to stick it to everyone especially my parents that i did and was able to do something with my life. And I owe you the random most helpful, sincere person a huge chunk of that. And i give you the most sincere gratitude. Because now ill look at my situation in a different outlook. That i shouldn't have to give up a huge amount of my life for the mistakes my parents have made. And I thank you for giving me that outlook.

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Sweetie (I hope you don't mind me calling you that), I don't know what to say. You've rendered me speechless. Ask anyone, that's not an easy task.

I've been on this site for 4 years. I do it because I want to help people. I won't lie, the majority of the posts I've answered in my 4 years here have left me wondering why I do this. You have just confirmed why I come back. You made all of it worth it.

There have been a few people, and only a few, who I know I've reached out to, but none has ever expressed it the way you have.

You have given me far more credit than I deserve, but I thank you for it. Also, as much as you say I've helped you, you've done the same for me. You've made me realize that I can make a difference, even if it is just posting from my heart to a stranger on the internet. But, really, the credit lies with you. I didn't do anything other than confirm what you already know. You just needed someone to voice it, to say it out loud. You already know who you are, and I'm anxious to see who you'll become. I know that no matter what, your life is going to be something amazing. I hope you keep me posted, let me know how it all works out. I won't be surprised by anything you accomplish. I see you reaching great heights, and doing amazing things.

The tears are now flowing, but they're tears of joy. Joy for you, and joy for what you've given me too. So I thank you. You're going to make it kiddo. You're going to make it and then some. Count on it. I already know it! :)

Just keep that chin up, and if you ever need to talk, you know where I am. I'm only a few clicks away via the keyboard, and I'll be there if you need help. I'm a mom, I have a 13 year son and a 9 year old daughter. I would be very proud if they turned out like you. Very proud.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Sweetie (I hope you don't mind me calling you that), I don't know what to say. You've rendered me speechless. Ask anyone, that's not an easy task.

I've been on this site for 4 years. I do it because I want to help people. I won't lie, the majority of the posts I've answered in my 4 years here have left me wondering why I do this. You have just confirmed why I come back. You made all of it worth it.

There have been a few people, and only a few, who I know I've reached out to, but none has ever expressed it the way you have.

You have given me far more credit than I deserve, but I thank you for it. Also, as much as you say I've helped you, you've done the same for me. You've made me realize that I can make a difference, even if it is just posting from my heart to a stranger on the internet. But, really, the credit lies with you. I didn't do anything other than confirm what you already know. You just needed someone to voice it, to say it out loud. You already know who you are, and I'm anxious to see who you'll become. I know that no matter what, your life is going to be something amazing. I hope you keep me posted, let me know how it all works out. I won't be surprised by anything you accomplish. I see you reaching great heights, and doing amazing things.

The tears are now flowing, but they're tears of joy. Joy for you, and joy for what you've given me too. So I thank you. You're going to make it kiddo. You're going to make it and then some. Count on it. I already know it! :)

Just keep that chin up, and if you ever need to talk, you know where I am. I'm only a few clicks away via the keyboard, and I'll be there if you need help. I'm a mom, I have a 13 year son and a 9 year old daughter. I would be very proud if they turned out like you. Very proud.

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You deserve the credit if not more. Strangers can make difference in peoples lives. Even by giving them the harsh view on things. Maybe I did need someone to slap some sense into my mind and give me the outlook you did. You will definitely be put into memory as someone who ill think of years from now that helped me beyond belief. Especially when I graduate high school in two years. Ill will most definitely keep you posted. Your children are lucky to have someone like you as a mother, I would be. Much thanks to you and the advice and thoughts you have given me. <3

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I wish you the very best young lady

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Thank you it means a lot.

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

You deserve the credit if not more. Strangers can make difference in peoples lives. Even by giving them the harsh view on things. Maybe i did need someone to slap some sense into my mind and give me the outlook you did. You will definitely be put into memory as someone who ill think of years from now that helped me beyond belief. Especially when i graduate high school in two years. Ill will most definitely keep you posted. Your children are lucky to have someone like you as a mother, I would be. Much thanks to you and the advice and thoughts you have given me. <3

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Well sweetie, you've made my day. Considering that I just left a thread where two 15 year olds are consoling each other because they can't conceive, you are a breath of fresh air, and I'm so very happy that I read your question. I normally wouldn't have, as I'm not a legal expert. I try to steer clear of the legal questions, but your post caught my eye. I guess everything does happen for a reason. :)

I can't wait to continue reading about your accomplishments. You have put a huge smile on my face, along with tears of joy. You are a very special person. I hope you know that.

Now it's time for me to get to bed. Work tomorrow, and the butt crack of dawn tends to come pretty early. ;)

Please keep me posted. Don't disappear. Know that if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I promise to always tell you exactly what I think, even if you may not agree with me. My kids hate that. ;)

Night sweetie.

I am 100% with alty on this one. I was also living with abusive parents. (though I was an adult, with a child) I was in college, and I only had a few months left to graduate. I stuck it out. Bit my tongue, kept my head down, graduated (first time I graduated ANYTHING lol) and left, got into a transitional housing program, and never went back.

Keep your head up. We are here if you need to talk. And once you are 18, you will find a way! And if you cant, we are still here to help you with whatever you need!

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

All you have is words on the internet.yes...but these words may be the most meaningful i have heard in the longest time. And they are said by a complete stranger. As i read this it moved ME to tears. And growing up the way i have tears are a no no ,they show weakness.

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Originally Posted by miaaaa

You deserve the credit if not more. Strangers can make difference in peoples lives. Even by giving them the harsh view on things. Maybe i did need someone to slap some sense into my mind and give me the outlook you did. You will definitely be put into memory as someone who ill think of years from now that helped me beyond belief. Especially when i graduate high school in two years. Ill will most definitely keep you posted. Your children are lucky to have someone like you as a mother, I would be. Much thanks to you and the advice and thoughts you have given me. <3

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We all volunteer our time on this site and your responses here are why. Too often we get slapped in the face for trying to help. But every once in a while, the fact that we did help is rewarded by a response like yours.

If you look at other threads from teens asking about emancipation, you will see a difference in the way they were handled then this thread. Even though we think you will be better off sticking it out, you may the be first teen that I would support going for it.

And I'm going to ask one thing more from you. I'm going to ask you to stick around here. Browse the boards and look for questions you can help with. I think you could be a tremendous asset to the site. And I think helping others will help you get through the day. Besides, we want you to keep in touch and lets us know how you are making out.