My husband is paying child support for his son and now his ex is taken him to court to raise it do to my income. When we went to court the judge ordered me to have to send her my income info. I was not even aloud in the court room to have a say because the child is not mine but she is aloud to add my income to her child support. My husband asked the judge that since you going to add my wofes income can you add her 4 kids to my dependent and the judge said no. How can my income be added if I can not be in the court room and my kids can not be added because my income includes my kids. Whatever it gets raised to will take away from my children that I gave birth to and I don't think that is right. Of course my husband should pay child support but I don't think I should have to because I didn't give birth to him. What it will come down to is us getting a divorce because I won't let anyone take from my kids.

The rules on child support varies by state ( if in the US) in some, they look at household income, in other states they look just at his income. What has your husbands attorney said about this ? But if the court ordered it, you have to provide that income.

We can not afford an attorney. I know if a judge orders it that I will have to provide it but we have 2 weeks to send it to her so if the judge can really raise it do to my income then we are going to go get a divorce. I don't understand why I not aloud to have a say in court but they can use my income and take away from my kids. The judge told my husband that my kids won't be a factor but they are a factor because its my money to care for them.

Here's what the Judge is thinking (and I don't know what State/Country you are in. Your salary enables you to pay bills your husband would otherwise have to pay by himself. Maybe it's food, maybe it's housing. In some States, yes, your income IS considered when child support is ordered.

You aren't allowed a say in Court because you are not a party to the action AND because you are apparently in a State which has laws which allow YOUR salary to enter into your husband's financial picture and child support obligations. Unless you are an Attorney and can make a LEGAL argument the Court does not want to hear you.

I'm sure the Court is also thinking that at least PART of your husband's income goes toward your household, supports your children in some fashion.

I'm not saying I agree or that it's fair - but that's how it is BY LAW in some States.

You can not afford not to have an attorney. Sorry but lets say that your husband is ordered to pay 300 or 400 dollars a month more, that would be 4000 or so a year for how many years. Your "not afford" one now, could cost you 10,000, 40,000, or how much.

Very true, I exspected to pay for his son while he is at my house and for my husband to pay child support its only right but never thought I could be stuck paying child support for there son. I am diabled and went from making 4k a month to 2100.00 a month plus my car is not paid for anymore by my work. My kids had to suffer because of that and now this.I know its not right but I think we just going to get a divorce my kids suffered enough.

If we get a divorce and still live together can they still raise it due to my pay?

What state is this taking place in ?

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

What state is this taking place in ?

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That's the question!

This is all taken place in NJ

New Jersey Child Support Calculator - AllLaw.com

First, you will not be paying child support. However, a judge MAY look at the total household income in calculating support. You may look at it that increasing your husband's support application because of your income is taking away from what your husband contributes to your children is forcing you to pay support, but that's not how the court looks at it.

You don't actually know whether the judge will increase or not. If you divorce and continue to live together, a judge may charge you with fraud.

Well to me it is like me paying because without my income it wouldn't be as much as if it was only going by my husbands. He does not make much money at all I pay about 90% of all the bills. And yes if the judge goes by the nj calculator then it will go up a lot. I just think if they going to add my pay into account then my kids should be added into it because like I said my money also pays for them. And if I could be charged with fraud then I would just have to divorce him and him not live here and or be together. He knew from day one that my kids mean more to me then anyone including him. It's not right at all that are income can be added to support a child that is not mine and that I have no say in what that kid does or have no rights to him. And he would make out better then my kids would never happen because I would never let it. I know it sounds wrong but like anyone that cares about there kids won't let them go hungry for there spouses ex. She don't even spend the money that she gets now on him, she goes out and parties all the time and lives at mommys house with no bills. In one week she went out 4 nights to clubs and she don't work so where does the money come from I am guessing her child support. I not downing people for getting child support I also get it for my kids but my kids have there own home and things that I pay for and not my mommy. My husband makes 200.00 a week to were I make well over that, I know it would not be taken from my check but will have to come out of my pocket.

Also be charged with fraud how? In NJ there is something called no fault divorce we don't need a reason to get a divorce here so there would be no charges. You can't charge someone for not wanting to be married do to money issues, its not like I knew that they could go after my pay I would have never thought that could ever happen. Two people that make a kid should pay for that kid not a new wife and or husband.I would never take my ex to court and ask them to include his wife's income because I know that would just be wrong in so many ways and I AM NOT A MONEY MOMMY! My kids dads wife shouldn't have to pay for kids she didn't make I happy with her just being involved in there lives and loving them as much as I do.

What Scott was saying, if you divorce, and still live together, it would be obvious that you were doing this divorce on paper only so that he would not have to pay as much child support. So he ( your husband) would be the one to perhaps be considered to have done fraud ( the divorce) to cheat the other party out of child support.

Your children should be included in the calculation of child support if they are going to use your income as part of the basis for child support. This may backfire on the ex and his support may go down.

From NJ law.

a. Other Legal Dependents of Either Parent - These guidelines include a mechanism to apportion a parent's income to all of his or her legal dependents regardless of the timing of their birth or family association (i.e. if a divorced parent remarries and has children, that parent's income should be shared by all children born to that parent). Legal dependents include adopted or natural children of either parent who are less than 18 years of age or more than 18 years of age and still attending high school or other secondary school. Stepchildren are not considered legal dependents unless a court has found that the stepparent has a legal responsibility for the stepchildren. When considering the use of this adjustment, the following principles shall apply:
(1) this adjustment shall be used only if requested by a serial-family parent and the income, if any, of the other parent of the secondary family is provided to the court;


Ref to PDF file w/homepage:

http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/csguide/app9a.pdf

Child Support Guidelines

First, this is the Family Law forum. The answers you get here will deal primarily with what the law is. Not necessarily what is fair or equitable. Since the law allows the court to consider family income, it can ask for your records. But, as the previous response pointed out, all dependents should also be included.

No fault divorce would allow you to get divorced, but if it could be proven that the divorce was a sham to avoid legal child support then that would be fraud.

The thing here is you are jumping the gun. Just because the judge asked for proof of your income does not mean his child support obligation will go up because of it. So why not wait until you see what the judge rules first.

My husband asked the judge if he was going to add his wife's income then is he going to add my kids and the judge said no because they are not his kids, but its still my money and does have to do with my kids. The only reason I am jumping the gun is because I have to be ready for the worst before it happens because I have kids to think about. Does anyone know if they I have to send my kids income from ssd and my adopted son income from the state along with mine from ssd? I tried looking it up and can not find it,if I don't have to send there income and my then there might not be that much to worry about. I know when I file my taxes that they do not include my kids ssd or my adopted sons money. The only time I had to use my kids stuff is when I went to get wic for my adopted son. Like I said if I could be charged with fraud I wouldn't stay with my husband I do love him but I love my kids more and they can't take care of themselves he can. Oh well Thank god my landlord is a lawyer maybe he will work with me.

If feel like I have to explain better I don't want to sound like a stuck up you know what. I knew he had a son from day one and that he had to pay child support and care for him. She won't let my husband have anything to do with his son we have been in and out of court trying to make her go by the court order. For some reason in NJ nothing ever happens to the mother no matter what the laws states. He has been to court over and over the whole 10 years of his sons life. I just think there has to be a way around my income because my husband would love for his son to live with us but like I said doesn't have as much right as the mother. We would be happy with him living here half the time. I knew that when he does get to see his son that my money would go to his son but at my house not at his mothers. His son would have everything he needed here I even went out and got him a bed and cloths everything that my kids have here he has now even though we don't get to see him. So I was expecting to provide for him and treat him just like my own. His son has a sister he never even met and she is 9 months old. Now in NJ if the father was to do all that she does they be sitting in jail for not going by the court order it should be the same for both parents. But knowing that judges can bend the rules with her getting away with that then they should beable to do it with my income.

First, support and visitation are two separate things. Courts do treat them separately. Second, I think you need to go over the actual law very carefully. You should retain a Family Law attorney to assist you. If the judge is violating the law, then you have grounds to appeal the ruling.

We are not unsympathetic to your situation. Sometimes, the law "is an ". Sometimes judges overstep their bounds (this is especially true in Family Court where they are allowed some leeway). Sometimes judges will come down harder on people going pro se.

Money that your children receive is their income, not yours. A copy of last years tax return should satisfy the judges demands.

I know that support and visition is separate unless you put them on the same complant, well at lease that's how it is here in nj. In this matter both is being ruled on at the same time because we added visition in the cross motion. I would like to thank all of you for listing to me and I know this site is made for law info but I was so upset and don't have many people to talk to do to the child I adopted was family. I did have many this answered that I was not sure of like my pay I really didn't know it could be added in if I would have known that we would have waited to get married and she didn't waste much time cause we only been married for 2 months. Its OK though because I do have some faith left that some how it will all work out. Like I said thank you to all of you.

What I meant is that child support and custody/visitation are separately decided. A parent, for example, who doesn't ever seen the child still has to pay support.

A parent who doesn't pay support still can see the child.

Let us know how it works out for you.

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Originally Posted by lenadelcampo

I know that support and visition is separate unless you put them on the same complant, well at lease thats how it is here in nj. In this matter both is being ruled on at the same time .

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The two can be dealt with at the same time, but they are decided separately. Whatever ruling the court make on visitation will have no bearing on support and vice versa.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Originally Posted by lenadelcampo

My husband asked the judge if he was going to add his wifes income then is he going to add my kids and the judge said no because they are not his kids.

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Correct. They are not his children, thus he is nor responsible for their support just as you are not responsible to support his children.

I will repeat califdad's post

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

Stepchildren are not considered legal dependents unless a court has found that the stepparent has a legal responsibility for the stepchildren. When considering the use of this adjustment, the following principles shall apply:
(1) this adjustment shall be used only if requested by a serial-family parent and the income, if any, of the other parent of the secondary family is provided to the court;


Ref to PDF file w/homepage:

http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/csguide/app9a.pdf

Child Support Guidelines

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... and to add
Weekly Gross Income Does Not Include
Income from other household members (e.g. step-parents, grandparents, current spouse) who are not legally responsible for the support of the child for whom support is being established.


http://njfamilylaw.net/divorce_pages...-questions.htm
In New Jersey a step-parent's income is not considered in determining the amount of child support one parent pays to the other.

Had a sit down with one of the best lawyers around my area. There are loop holes! They can not raise my husbands child support do to my income and from what he said because the courts are not adding my kids that they can not add there income from ssd and or child support. And because I am on ssd it goes under non taxed income in which she very little support if any at all. Which would not be right and being the parents my husband and I are we are going to ask the judge to just leave it were it is. Without all my other income not added and with all our JOINT bills it came out that we have a -458.00 a month and my lawyer said that her support would go off that. Sometimes the greedy people should think and make sure that they know what they are doing before they do it. Once again than you for all for your help on here.

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Originally Posted by lenadelcampo

Had a sit down with one of the best lawyers around my area. There are loop holes!

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Consulting a local lawyer can be very helpful. Not only will they be more familiar with local law, they will also know the personalities and moods of the courts.

I wouldn't call these loopholes. What the attorney told you seems to jive with the law as was posted here. Even if the judge asked for your income it couldn't be used in calculating support.

Glad you have more peace of mind.

Thank you for keeping us posted and updated. Please after your hearing let us know the outcome so we have real world results.