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Im 16 and my girlfriend and I have been talking about marriage laws since I've proposed to her. I need to know if it is legal to marry her. I already know the Washington state law that applies to 16 year olds, but it says nothing about marriage between two separate ages.
There is one key point you two have not considered, but let me answer your question first. In WA state the legal age to marry is l8; under that age you need parental consent. It doesn't matter that she is 23; now the hard part. Your g/f could be charged with sexual interference of a minor and I am presuming you two have had sex; I don't think anyone is that niave. Of course, if no one finds out she won't be, but if you two try to get married she will. I do have a problem with a sexual relationship between a l6 year old and a 23 year old woman though. Lets hear what others have to say, okay.
Tick
I haven't had sexual relations with my girlfriend up to this point, but thank you for the insight.
You haven't had sexual relations with your g/f ? Tell me another one my dear. Oh, okay, you have decided you and she haven't after you found out she could good to jail for having sex with you.
Tick
Do your parents know about her and how old she is? I believe you have had sex and she's either desperate or she can't get someone her own age. Glad you're not my son. I would be in jail.
Danny, what's the rush to propose and get married?
Long engagements take care of any legal problems and give you both a chance to work on a stable foundation for marriage.
You have proposed to this child molester, you can't support her, you are limited in where you can go with her, you are still in HS (I hope) This woman should be in jail.
I think this may be wishful thinking on your part. Unless this woman is mentally challenged, she knows she cannot marry you without your parents consent, she knows she is breaking the law with you and what in the world would she do with a 16 year old husband.
Where did you meet this wooman? I hope she is not one of your teachers.
I don't understand how a youngster like you could be in love with a 23 year old woman. I should have said a woman who is 23 in years, but apparently isn't mature enough to know she is breaking the law. You better put a stop to it. If you don't you may be visiting her in Prison.
I am not going to jump onto this 16 year old boy, assuming this is a "hot" looking 23 year old, she is mature, has money most likely if she is working, most likely has a car. And for a 16 year old ( what 10th or 11th grade) this is like winning the lottery, all of his friends think he is scoring ( having sex) with a older women, This should make me a "god" or status person in school.
And who would not want to find and get attention from someone that is considered out of their ability.
I have concerns over why this women would do this, but anyway, My blame will go toward a women who knows or should know better, taking emotional advantage of a boy.
I don't know, Chuck, he seems to write quite well with decent grammar for a l6 year old *shrugging*. More here than meets the eye. Don't think he will be back though.
No. The age of majority is 18 in Washington. You need the parents consent. Furthermore, no state allows marriages if you are under 18, without parents consent.
Oh Im back, and I don't appreciate Chucks answer. I don't want to marry her because she is "hot", though she is very beautiful. Im marrying her because I love her more than I ever thought possible, she makes me happier than Ive ever been before.
If we are married, the legal system can't do anything about her and I being together.
If you don't mind, I would like a little more information. You may be able to clear some things up for me.
I have permission from my mother and most of my family. I met her online, though we aren't long distance, just happened to meet that way. Stop calling my fiancé a child molester.
My family knows about our engagement and that Im moving in with her soon. I have permission to marry her from my mother. We haven't had sex, were waiting till marriage so its legal.
I already knew this, as I stated it above with my question.
One more thing. I posted this question to get answers to my question, not to be criticized by people that don't know my relationship with my fiancé. In addition, read my comments before posting!
You are 16 years old, if this is in fact real.
Are you still in school?
And whether you want her called that or not, she is a criminal under the law. You are a minor she is an adult.
You may not like the answers you are given but they are good advice. Whether you want to face the fact or not, there is something hinky about a 23 year old woman agreeing to or even wanting to marry a 16 year old boy. What can you contribute to this relationship?
So... you do realize that an older women liking a guy in high school is because she wants to feel adored and worshiped and like she has the upper hand in the relationship right? SO either she is like obese, greasy, and can't get anyone better, OR... you are what is referred to as a "boy-toy". Either way all I can really think to say is "EW." Good day.
She isn't any of these things. People are so judge-mental these days. And I asked HER to marry ME! I asked her out, I asked her for her number! All that crap! Stop criticizing her! If you're going to criticize anyone, criticize me!
I have a job, I love, care, and support her in anyway she needs it without her even asking me. We haven't had sex and it isn't illegal when married. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL YOU IMBECILE!
danny, the 'comment box' does not alert us that you have responded to the thread. Please use the Answer box at the bottom of the page. It does tell us when you respond.
Danny, a long engagement of two years would allow you both to be certain that this is the best relationship for both of you. It would take out the need for parental permission, too and show that you are both better able to handle the changes that come with marriage.
IF you are so set on marriage right this minute, I think you should take a marriage preparation class together. Many churches and communities have them available. In some places taking one can get you a huge discount on the marriage license fee.
How long have you known this woman and how well do you really know her? I don't recommend marrying anyone that you have known less than a year. It takes months to really know enough about the ins and outs of someone else's personality and quirks and for them to know yours before a really stable foundation for a lasting relationship is formed.
Are you truly ready to become an adult in the eyes of the law? It means that you get the responsibilities without the perks. You become responsible for yourself and all of your needs and hers (marriage is a joint endeavor), but you still can't vote or legally drink and smoke.
Be certain this is what you want and not just because she makes you happier than you ever have been. You shouldn't put anyone other than yourself in the position of 'making' you happy. It isn't fair to them or you.
Although I do agree with the fact that a 23 year old would want to be with a 16 year old is wrong on so many levels.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leidenschaftlich für Wahr
I have to disagree, respectfully with you about her weight size being a reason why she has gravitated to this 16 year old.
I don't think her looks is a reason. I believe that either she is a sick woman, or she genuinely fell in love with a minor. Wrong? Yes. However, it has been known to happen.
I have decided to marry her and that is what I will do. Getting married solves legal issues as far as her and I being together. Its not just that she makes me happy. She has been there for me through some of my worst relationships and truly cares about me and my feelings. I do the same for her when she needs it.Quote:
danny, the 'comment box' does not alert us that you have responded to the thread. Please use the Answer box at the bottom of the page. It does tell us when you respond.
Danny, a long engagement of two years would allow you both to be certain that this is the best relationship for both of you. It would take out the need for parental permission, too and show that you are both better able to handle the changes that come with marriage.
IF you are so set on marriage right this minute, I think you should take a marriage preparation class together. Many churches and communities have them available. In some places taking one can get you a huge discount on the marriage license fee.
How long have you known this woman and how well do you really know her? I don't recommend marrying anyone that you have known less than a year. It takes months to really know enough about the ins and outs of someone else's personality and quirks and for them to know yours before a really stable foundation for a lasting relationship is formed.
Are you truly ready to become an adult in the eyes of the law? It means that you get the responsibilities without the perks. You become responsible for yourself and all of your needs and hers (marriage is a joint endeavor), but you still can't vote or legally drink and smoke.
Be certain this is what you want and not just because she makes you happier than you ever have been. You shouldn't put anyone other than yourself in the position of 'making' you happy. It isn't fair to them or you.
Oh, and cat, you are the only person on this page that hasn't criticized me or given me grief over my decision. Thank you for being insightful and trying to help.
I will look into a few things as far as the laws and community goes. I will marry her one way or another, but I don't plan to wait till I'm 18 to do it.
As far as your two options, it is the latter. Whether this marriage is wrong or not is a matter of opinion.
Danny, please watch what you say and you might want to apologize for calling Homegirl a name. It is against the site rules. I don't want to see you banned because you couldn't carry on a discussion without resorting to name calling.
Whether you like it or not, the people on here are trying to help you see things in a different way.
By the way, in many states (such as mine, I don't know about yours) oral sex and touching of private parts is illegal. As is exposing one's self to minor or showing him/her adult-related materials (videos, movies, pictures, etc.) Just a few things for you to think about.
How long have you known this woman and do your parents know how old she is?
Have you even finished HS, do you plan on doing so? There is no way you are going to be able to take care of a wife and all of the responsibilities that go along with marriage if you can't get a job.
Perhaps this should wait until you are at least 18.
dannyo013 : I have a job, I love, care, and support her in anyway she needs it without her even asking me. We haven't had sex and it isnt illegal when married. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL YOU IMBECILE!
With all due respect, you are the one with the problem here not me. You are 16 years old, no HS diploma. Do you make enough money to pay rent, support a child if there is one? Can you take care of the kind of business adults need to do? You are a minor, you can't even sign the lease on anything.
Your calling me names is showing your age and maturity level. Give yourself a couple of years or more.
You said you will find a way to marry. If your parents know about this I take it they won't sign for you.
I will keep this in mind in the future. I apologize, I am just becoming irritated with some of the "answers" on this page. I am protective of my fiancé more than anything and will fight to the death for her, insulting her is not the best way to stay on my good side. Plus, I believe "Imbecile" is a bit less harsh than "Child Molester". Im sure I cannot be the only one who thinks so.Quote:
danny, please watch what you say and you might want to apologize for calling Homegirl a name. It is against the site rules. I don't want to see you banned because you couldn't carry on a discussion without resorting to name calling.
Whether you like it or not, the people on here are trying to help you see things in a different way.
By the way, in many states (such as mine, I don't know about yours) oral sex and touching of private parts is illegal. As is exposing one's self to minor or showing him/her adult-related materials (videos, movies, pictures, etc.) Just a few things for you to think about.
My entire family knows her age and what we plan to do... Ive only said it 58 times already (exaggeration). If I were to wait till 18, we would end up going through court and her ending up in jail. Starting to get the bigger picture?
If you marry her when you are an adult then there is no legal problem.
And stop writing in the comment box.
I just would like to add that Homegirl gives great advice. She is not an "Imbecile"!Quote:
Originally Posted by dannyo013
You have to understand that with the information that you have provided us with, you may not like the answers that you get. We aretrying to help you out. So please be respectful to those who are simply doing that for you.
Insulting the experts and great members of AMHD is not the best way to stay on OUR good side.
Please read the rules if you need a better understanding of how things work around here.
Thank you.
It's that simple. All I want is an answer, don't post if you are going to give me grief over this question. All I want to know is if it is legal for me to have sex with my fiancé after marriage.
Posting this in a different spot is not going work. It will just get merged with your other thread.
If you are married sex is not illegal, but you have to get get parental permission to marry her as you are a minor.
At her age she should know all of this. Have you even discussed this with her?
I am going to second Cats suggestion to wait for marriage. Although it is difficult to comprehend at 16, your life will go through many changes emotionally and mentally before you reach the age of 23. Until that transition has occurred you are going to have a difficult time believing that there is a problem with a 23 year old and a 16 year old having a relationship. It's about life experiences and where you are in life that makes the age difference extreme.
At 16, life is all about growing up but that will come in time. Take the time to graduate high school, pursue college and a career, not a 'job', move out, manage bills, own a vehicle that is dependable. If she loves you and you love her, she will wait to marry you until you are 18. Your relationship can only grow with time, what is the rush other than wanting to legalize the ability to sleep together, if you are mature, you can focus on building a relationship that isn't based on sex and that will only contribute to the strength and foundation of your marriage.
If you don't do anything sexual, the courts/police can't and won't step in. Dating and abstinence is not a crime.Quote:
dannyo013 : My entire family knows her age and what we plan to do... Ive only said it 58 times already (exaggeration). If I were to wait till 18, we would end up going through court and her ending up in jail. Starting to get the bigger picture?
Take your time. You are making a decision for a lifetime. So don't rush it.
What legal issue does that solve? On your wedding night she can be arrested and put away and tagged for life. Marriage doesn't superceed the law. Your in a dream world. The law clearly address the issue of age and its consent involved. Since your ages are so far apart they are still guilty of a crime. Marriage alone is no defense.Quote:
Originally Posted by dannyo013
RCW 9A.44.030: Defenses to prosecution under this chapter.
The whole chapter on Sexual offenses for your state can be found here:
Chapter 9A.44 RCW: Sex offenses
We've already told you that it would require parental consent to marry prior to age 18.
So given the laws of the state of Washington, I don't think you will find ANYONE to marry you even WITH parental consent. Since doing so would be allowing your fiancée to commit an illegal act.
Oh and by the way a 16 yr old is not a man . You are still a boy and legally a minor whether you like it or not.
That's the law whether you like it or not.
On a personal note, pedophiles are not only males. So far you have shown, by your actions here, that you are not mature enough to be making these decisions. Second, any reasonable person is going to question a 23 yr old having a relationship with a 16 yr old. Whatever the sexes on each side. I have a hard time accepting you at your word that your parents approve of this relationship.
From what you have written here it appears to me that you are as horny as H-E double hockey sticks. That you want sex in the worst way. That you are just rational enough to understand that doing it with a 23 yr old will get her jailed as a sex offender. Or maybe she is refusing you for that reason. In any event I see lust here, not love.
I have to say that, yes, scottgem has already ELABORATED on what would happen. And, I can't pinpoint the post but you stated 'so, just WHAT do I have to do have SEX WITH HER'. It would have been, 'just what do I have to do to make love to my woman', but you didn't say that.
If you don't want input, don't want answers, taking a little bit out of each response, to read what you want to, then you don't belong here. I still say you write better then I would imagine a l6 year old would write. So, who are you, and what do you want us to say?
I SUGGEST THIS THREAD BE CLOSED.
Tick
I can see the reason, why can't you. She is holding out because she doesn't really want the advances of a 'l6 year old' who is pressuring her and can't see passed the sex part which she is not really willing to do. She knows what is going on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat1864
Tick
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