Ask Me Help Desk - Visitation

Visitation

Hi my name is sid from CA!I have been going down this path with my ex girl friend and soon to be year old daughter!I filed court papers to get a dna test and child support and Visitation!The judge let me get a dna test and it came back that the girl was mine.I had been seeing our baby since she was four and a half months.So the judge had told us that we had to go to the help center and try and work it out and if if did not work out then me and her would go back to court!So I said that I would pay her some child support and that was the fist thing that I would do,but it seem like she had not Idea that we would be going on a ca Visitation timetable so I told her that we could go home and talk about and then come back to fill this out.So we agree to come back in and make the order final!So it seem like it was the dumbest thing to do because she would not come back to finish and we had a mouth for the dead line.So we had to go back to the court to come to a final agreement and she never showed up and now we have trial.So how can I ask for Visitation?I had told her 3 month ago that I was moving 3 and half hour away because rent is cheaper and I got a bigger house to where I can do more thing with our baby!And she seem to say no matter what she will not let our baby stay with me.

If you don't agree on a custody/ visitation order you have to go to mediation before the judge can make a decision (no trial before mediation) if you are in California. You said you are in CA, which is California, correct?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

If you don't agree on a custody/ visitation order you have to go to mediation before the judge can make a decision (no trial before mediation) if you are in California. You said you are in CA, which is California, correct?

Yes that's right!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

Yes thats right!

Fine. Then what I said holds.

You mentioned something about a "CA visitation timetable", which doesn't exist (unless you are calculating timeshare). That's why I was confused.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

Fine. Then what I said holds.

You mentioned something about a "CA visitation timetable", which doesn't exist (unless you are calculating timeshare). That's why I was confused.

What do you mean it does not exist?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

What do you mean it does not exist?

And what is a calculating timeshare

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

What do you mean it does not exist?

What's a "visitation timetable"? I've been a lawyer in California for 20 years, I'm a Certified Family Law Specialist, and I've been practicing family law for 7 years, and I don't know what you are talking about. It doesn't make any sense.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

and what is a calculating timeshare

To calculate child support you need to know what percentage of time the kids are with each parent. That's timeshare.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

What's a "visitation timetable"? I've been a lawyer in California for 20 years, I'm a Certified Family Law Specialist, and I've been practicing family law for 7 years, and I don't know what you are talking about. It doesn't make any sense.

You know the ca visitation Schedule

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

You know the ca visitation Schedule

There is no such thing. I don't know what you are talking about.

Let's do it this way. Where did you hear about this and what does it mean to you?

[QUOTE=cadillac59;1934960]To calculate child support you need to know what percentage of time the kids are with each parent. That's timeshare.[/QUOTE So the thing is how well that play with the fact that I live 3 hour away!

[QUOTE=Useritson;1934973]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

To calculate child support you need to know what percentage of time the kids are with each parent. That's timeshare.[/QUOTE So the thing is how well that play with the fact that I live 3 hour away!

It's doesn't matter if you live 10,000 miles away. When are the kids with you and when are they with her. That's all there is to it. Add up the hours and figure it out as a percentage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

There is no such thing. I don't know what you are talking about.

Let's do it this way. Where did you hear about this and what does it mean to you?

Lol!! What do you mean what does it mean LolOk lets do it this way for you (Parent A's time with the child is indicated by solids.)

(A) Birth to 12 months
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thur
Fri
Sat
Sun
8am
9am
10am
11am
Noon
1pm
2pm
3pm
4pm
5pm
6pm
7pm
8pm

Does this ring a bell??

[QUOTE=cadillac59;1934978]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

It's doesn't matter if you live 10,000 miles away. When are the kids with you and when are they with her. That's all there is to it. Add up the hours and figure it out as a percentage.I

I see where you are getting you must mean how much I will pay her for support I will pay her what ever!! Just need to know how I can ask to get my kid!

[QUOTE=Useritson;1934987]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

I see where you are getting you must mean how much I will pay her for support I will pay her what ever!!!!Just need to know how I can ask to get my kid!

You have to file a motion with the court to obtain orders on custody and visitation. That's how you get access to your child.

[QUOTE=cadillac59;1934996]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

You have to file a motion with the court to obtain orders on custody and visitation. That's how you get access to your child.

Ok I see what you mean so what is this court date for that I have coming up?

[QUOTE=Useritson;1935001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

Ok I see what you mean so what is this court date for that I have coming up?

I don't know what it is. You said it was a trial.

[QUOTE=cadillac59;1935005]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

I don't know what it is. You said it was a trial.

That's just what the paper says!We were to have a mandatory settlement conference not held.So now it says there well be a 1 hour trial!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

Lol!!!What do you mean what does it mean LolOk lets do it this way for you (Parent A's time with the child is indicated by solids.)

(A) Birth to 12 months
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thur
Fri
Sat
Sun
8am
9am
10am
11am
Noon
1pm
2pm
3pm
4pm
5pm
6pm
7pm
8pm

Does this ring a bell????????

No.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

No.

Ok I'm sure it does not smart guy!But what does?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

Ok im sure it does not smart guy!But what does?

I'm done with you. Bye.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

I'm done with you. Bye.

Wow your getting mad at me and you are the one being smart with me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

Wow your getting mad at me and you are the one being smart with me.

No, Cadillac, has been trying to help you, but you have not been helping him to do so.

What you posted is not some official, legally proscribed document. That's what he has been trying to get through to you. Generally, a visitation schedule is not that specific, though sometimes it can be. Since you CHOSE to move 3.5 hours away a daily schedule is impractical. And since the child is so young, overnights may also be impractical at this time.

So you may need to set a schedule where you see her for a few hours once a week. As she gets older you can go for alternate weeks until she start school, then you can go for alternate weekends. You can build these things into the court order.

The second part of your question is that you need to have a court order custody, support and visitation. The court apparently told you to try and work something out that you both can agree to. It seems that you were unable to do so so you now need to go to court for a hearing where you will each present your case as to custody and visitation. The judge will then rule according to what the court feels is the best interests of the child.

I would advise you to get an attorney to help you prepare the petitions and motions to submit to the court. Especially if the mother has an attorney to represent her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

No, Cadillac, has been trying to help you, but you have not been helping him to do so.

What you posted is not some official, legally proscribed document. That's what he has been trying to get through to you. Generally, a visitation schedule is not that specific, though sometimes it can be. Since you CHOSE to move 3.5 hours away a daily schedule is impractical. And since the child is so young, overnights may also be impractical at this time.

So you may need to set a schedule where you see her for a few hours once a week. As she gets older you can go for alternate weeks until she start school, then you can go for alternate weekends. You can build these things into the court order.

The second part of your question is that you need to have a court order custody, support and visitation. The court apparently told you to try and work something out that you both can agree to. It seems that you were unable to do so so you now need to go to court for a hearing where you will each present your case as to custody and visitation. The judge will then rule according to what the court feels is the best interests of the child.

I would advise you to get an attorney to help you prepare the petitions and motions to submit to the court. Especially if the mother has an attorney to represent her.

I was told that you guys hate to be wrong!Its like why did he not just say that what you just told me!Like you just gave me what I wanted to know!I have talked to a few lawers and
They told me when she starts to eat food there is a good way to get her for a least one weekend a mouth!But he could have said something like not it's this way or no that's not right and since you Since you CHOSE to move 3.5 hours away no he was just saying to words and now he was trying to help no damn way!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

I was told that you guys hate to be wrong!Its like why did he not just say that what you just told me!Like you just gave me what I wanted to know!I have talked to a few lawers and
They told me when she starts to eat food there is a good way to get her for a least one weekend a mouth!But he could have said something like not it's this way or no thats not right and since you Since you CHOSE to move 3.5 hours away no he was just saying to words and now he was trying to help no damn way!

You are getting help for free and you choose to question the manner in which it is given? If you don't like how a PROFESSIONAL LAWYER is giving you FREE help, go pay someone to give it to you like you want it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetcg

You are getting help for free and you choose to question the manner in which it is given? If you dont like how a PROFESSIONAL LAWYER is giving you FREE help, go pay someone to give it to you like you want it.

Oh OK I see because it's free that's it sorry and thank you for all your help!

Oops.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Oops.

What happen you here to to take there side too!It's free so they can act like a .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

What happen you here to to take there side too!It's free so they can act like a .

It's not about sides, but your attitude is very defensive and disrespectful.

It won't do you well in court and it won't do you well in parenting.

People are here to help, I didn't read anything to be defensive about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

It's not about sides, but your attitude is very defensive and disrespectful.

It won't do you well in court and it won't do you well in parenting.

People are here to help, I didn't read anything to be defensive about.

Lol!man my friend just told me this and he is saying let it go because you will get baned trying to tell the experts anything.I mean read how I was asking I did not have a attitude then ScottGem tell me what I wanted to know right off the bat!Yeah I could go and pay for a lawyer who only take your money when all you need to know what you are doing .But come on he was trying to be smart about but if I was being smart to him then you guys still would have tried ban me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

Lol!man my friend just told me this and he is saying let it go because you will get baned trying to tell the experts anything.I mean read how I was asking I did not have a attitude then ScottGem tell me what I wanted to know right off the bat!Yeah I could go and pay for a lawyer who only take your money when all you need to know what you are doing .But come on he was trying to be smart about but if I was being smart to him then you guys still would have tried ban me.

But I just want to let it go because you guys might not have had your coffee and donuts today and I want to ask the nice guy that was telling something good so you are right!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadillac59

If you don't agree on a custody/ visitation order you have to go to mediation before the judge can make a decision (no trial before mediation) if you are in California. You said you are in CA, which is California, correct?

Hey sorry about yesterday man I did not mean to get you mad I was think you were someone else!I see that you gave me the right answer the first time I was wrong about the way that I was acting!

You don't seem to get it... this isn't about arguing with an expert or right or wrong... this is about being disrespectful and arrogant to someone who is freely giving their time to try to help you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetcg

You dont seem to get it... this isnt about arguing with an expert or right or wrong... this is about being disrespectful and arrogant to someone who is freely giving their time to try to help you.

I already said sorry to him I was wrong about it!I seen that he told me the right thing from the start!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

No, Cadillac, has been trying to help you, but you have not been helping him to do so.

What you posted is not some official, legally proscribed document. That's what he has been trying to get through to you. Generally, a visitation schedule is not that specific, though sometimes it can be. Since you CHOSE to move 3.5 hours away a daily schedule is impractical. And since the child is so young, overnights may also be impractical at this time.

So you may need to set a schedule where you see her for a few hours once a week. As she gets older you can go for alternate weeks until she start school, then you can go for alternate weekends. You can build these things into the court order.

The second part of your question is that you need to have a court order custody, support and visitation. The court apparently told you to try and work something out that you both can agree to. It seems that you were unable to do so so you now need to go to court for a hearing where you will each present your case as to custody and visitation. The judge will then rule according to what the court feels is the best interests of the child.

I would advise you to get an attorney to help you prepare the petitions and motions to submit to the court. Especially if the mother has an attorney to represent her.

So you are saying that overnights won't happen till she is like 6 years

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

So you are saying that overnights won't happen till she is like 6 years

No - overnights usually won't occur for the first year or so of the child's life if the mother is breastfeeding. Also, depending on the age of the child when visits start, visitation might work on a sliding effect. I.E 2 hours, twice a week for the first 3 months, 4 hours twice a week for the next 3, 1 night and 3 hours for the following...

That's just to give you an idea of what CAN happen. This all gets sussed out in mediation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetcg

No - overnights usually wont occur for the first year or so of the child's life if the mother is breastfeeding. Also, depending on the age of the child when visits start, visitation might work on a sliding effect. I.E 2 hours, twice a week for the first 3 months, 4 hours twice a week for the next 3, 1 night and 3 hours for the following...

Thats just to give you an idea of what CAN happen. This all gets sussed out in mediation.

Thanks man!! Im cool with that but will I get to tell how bad I think it is we we are together
When me and her are around the kids we I'm in mediation

Quote:

Originally Posted by Useritson

Thanks man!!!Im cool with that but will I get to tell how bad I think it is we we are together
When me and her are around the kids we im in mediation

Im not sure I understand your question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Im not sure I understand your question.

Will it's hard to go over to her house to see our baby when I'm there!I don't think it's healthy because she still not ready to come to terms with this being are baby so can I tell this stuff when I'm in there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Im not sure I understand your question.

I just want to say what I think is the problem in mediation