I want to live with my mom because my dad mentally abuses me calls me stupid little girly , when I told him last time that I wanted to live with my mom he was driving me to school he stopped we went home and he yelled at me until I was afraid to say I wanted to live with my mom and then blamed me for making him be late for work for yelling at me, he talks bad about my mom, he said,"your mom's lying i never hit her but ishould have hit her","all lyers should be shot in the head in a line with your mom first saying I'm a lyer I'm an f%$#in lyer,some joke about like breaking her legs, always compares me to her in bad ways he called me a slacker and not responsible because when I changed the trash I forgot to put a new bag in there, he said I'll always be smarter than you and all your friends put together, he always asks if I talk bad about him like 3 times when I come back from my moms, he's threatened to hit me around 6 times like when he's mad he'll say do you want me to hit you, your next answer better not be stupid because I'm getting pissed off he said something like I'll floor you if you text message. I'm scared I get so nervous sometimes that I shake, my heart beats really fast all day, and I feel sick from stress, I get little red spots on my chest, I also have alopecia and when I was little when I got stressed out my hair came out. I want to know if I can move back with my mother and possibly get a restraining rder on my dad for everything that I just told you but if my dad finds out then I dion't know what he'll do so I want him not to find out just to live with my mom

You live with him and you are only a kid so it would be up to you to talk to your mom and tell her you are scared for your safety. You can't get a restraining order. Your mother would have to get one for you. If there is a court order for him to have visitations I don't think it would be all that simple for her to get one either. She would have to go through the court and get a modified order or sole custody. If there is no order in place then she can just refuse to allow him any contact with you. If she doesn't go to court to get sole custody or do whatever it takes to keep you from him then maybe you need to call Child Protective Services but that could be scary because they may leave you with him and then he would treat you worse. Also you could try talking to a school counselor or someone.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

You live with him and you are only a kid so it would be up to you to talk to your mom and tell her you are scared for your safety. You can't get a restraining order. Your mother would have to get one for you. If there is a court order for him to have visitations I don't think it would be all that simple for her to get one either. She would have to go through the court and get a modified order or sole custody. If there is no order in place then she can just refuse to allow him any contact with you. If she doesn't go to court to get sole custody or do whatever it takes to keep you from him then maybe you need to call Child Protective Services but that could be scary because they may leave you with him and then he would treat you worse. Also you could try talking to a school counselor or someone.

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My dad has sole custody and my mom already said she would get a restraining order but once the restraing order ends will I have to see him again or evn live with him and are you sure that I this situation my mom can definitely get a restraining order

If your dad has sole custody of you I don't think it would be that easy for your mom to get a restraining order.
Once there is a restraining order then your dad can not have any contact with you.
Your mom needs to talk to a lawyer or somebody on the most quick easiest way to get you removed from his home because if you go about it the wrong way he could end up having CPS or others in his face about it and then he would take it out on you.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

If your dad has sole custody of you I don't think it would be that easy for your mom to get a restraining order.
Once there is a restraining order then your dad can not have any contact with you.
Your mom needs to talk to a lawyer or somebody on the quickest easiest way to get you removed from his home because if you go about it the wrong way he could end up having CPS or others in his face about it and then he would take it out on you.

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Next week my mom is visiting me and what if I go to the police station with her to tell them about how he treats me in person then would they

You can tell the police but I think it would also be important to make family court aware of it.
They made the order they are the only ones that can change the order. The police may be able to do something in the meantime so yeah go with your mom to the police station. Make sure your dad has no idea where you are going.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

You can tell the police but I think it would also be important to make family court aware of it.
They made the order they are the only ones that can change the order. The police may be able to do something in the meantime so yeah go with your mom to the police station. Make sure your dad has no idea where you are going.

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OK so I should go to the police and get a restraining order, then I should have my mom do what with family court, sorry.oh yea, what do you mean by"They made the order they are the only ones that can change the order"

Why does your dad have sole custody?
Did the court order it?

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Why does your dad have sole custody?
Did the court order it?

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Well I don't know I went to court because 9 months ago I broke a window, and then me and my mom thought it would be good for dicepline, me living with my dad we told the court that and they said all right,and let me livewith him

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

i want to live with my mom because my dad mentally abuses me calls me stupid little girly , when i told him last time that i wanted to live with my mom he was driving me to school he stopped we went home and he yelled at me untill i was affraid to say i wanted to live with my mom and then blamed me for making him be late for work for yelling at me, he talks bad about my mom, he said,"your mom's lying i never hit her but ishould have hit her","all lyers should be shot in the head in a line with your mom first sayin i'm a lyer i'm an f%$#in lyer,some joke about like breaking her legs, always compares me to her in bad ways he called me a slacker and not responsible because when i changed the trash i forgot to put a new bag in there, he said i'll always be smarter than you and all your friends put together, he always asks if i talk bad about him like 3 times when i come back from my moms, he's threatened to hit me around 6 times like when he's mad he'll say do you want me to hit you, your next answer better not be stupid because i'm getting pissed off he said something like i'll floor you if you text message. i'm scared i get so nervous sometimes that i shake, my heart beats really fast all day, and i feel sick from stress, i get little red spots on my chest, i also have alopecia and when i was little when i got stressed out my hair came out. i want to know if i can move back with my mother and possibly get a restraining rder on my dad for everything that i just told you but if my dad finds out then i dion't know what he'll do so i want him not to find out just to live with my mom

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If your father has Court-ordered custody your mother (with you as a witness) has to go back to Court and file for a change of custody, citing (and proving) what you have just said, that this is a dangerous situation for you.

I don't see you getting a protective order against your father when you live with him - first you get a change in custody, then you get a protective order (if the Court will order it).

If you get a protective order and leave your father's house there is absolutely no guarantee you will live with your mother and not be ordered into foster care until the dust settles and a guardian can be appointed or custody can be changed.

A lot depends on why you live with your father - and how old are you?

Exactly you need to get out of his house before you can get a restraining order.
If there is no court order that you have to stay with your dad then that is a plus
But as Judy said the court could feel your mothers is not a safe place since your dad could come and harass you even with an order. So they could put you into temporary placement until they feel you would be safe with your mother.
If your mother could move no forwarding address that your dad could find you that would be safest.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If your father has Court-ordered custody your mother (with you as a witness) has to go back to Court and file for a change of custody, citing (and proving) what you have just said, that this is a dangerous situation for you.

I don't see you getting a protective order against your father when you live with him - first you get a change in custody, then you get a protective order (if the Court will order it).

If you get a protective order and leave your father's house there is absolutely no guarantee you will live with your mother and not be ordered into foster care until the dust settles and a guardian can be appointed or custody can be changed.

A lot depends on why you live with your father - and how old are you?

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But I don't want my dad to find out that I want to live with my mom before it happeneds because then he'll be mad at me and I'll go to a foster home I don't care anywhere but here but I don't have proof he pushed me once he treatens me he talks about hurting my mom but I don't have proof I'm 15 I wanted to go to the police in a week next time my mom takes me and telling them but if he finds out that I want to leave then I can't deal with him yelling at me and would I be protected from him until he went to court

If there is no court order that you have to stay with your mom there should be some way for you to get to a safe place and then your mom go for sole custody. But you need to get a good plan that isn't going to put you in danger of having to be with him once the $h!+ hits the fan. That is why I said it might be best for her to talk to a lawyer and/or the police. You need a good plan. If the court never said you have to live with your dad there are shelters for abused woman and if your mom is willing to stay at one of those with you until this is resolved then that might even be an option

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

but i don't want my dad to find out that i want to live with my mom before it happeneds because then he'll be mad at me and i'll go to a foster home i don't care anywhere but here but i don't have proof he pushed me once he treatens me he talks about hurting my mom but i don't have proof i'm 15 i wanted to go to the police in a week next time my mom takes me and telling them but if he finds out that i want to leave then i can't deal with him yelling at me and would i be protected from him until he went to court

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Why do you live with your father? Is it by Court order?

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Exactly you need to get out of his house before you can get a restraining order.
If no forwarding address that your dad could find you that would be safest.

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My dad pushed me and I can get a protective order for that,but do I need proof that he did,if I got one would they make me stay at my dad's house or would I be able to go in a foster home or even live at my mom's apartment

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

but i don't want my dad to find out that i want to live with my mom before it happeneds because then he'll be mad at me and i'll go to a foster home i don't care anywhere but here but i don't have proof he pushed me once he treatens me he talks about hurting my mom but i don't have proof i'm 15 i wanted to go to the police in a week next time my mom takes me and telling them but if he finds out that i want to leave then i can't deal with him yelling at me and would i be protected from him until he went to court

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Again - why do you live with your father? Is it by Court order?

If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

my dad pushed me and i can get a protective order for that,but do i need proof that he did,if i got one would they make me stay at my dad's house or would i be able to go in a foster home or even live at my mom's appartment

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You can try but it will be your word against his and, as you said, he will get advance notice before the hearing.

Your mother needs to go to Family Court - now - and file for a change in custody.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

If there is no court order that you have to stay with your mom there should be some way for you to get to a safe place and then your mom go for sole custody. But you need to get a good plan that isn't going to put you in danger of having to be with him once the $h!+ hits the fan. That is why I said it might be best for her to talk to a lawyer and/or the police. You need a good plan. If the court never said you have to live with your dad there are shelters for abused woman and if your mom is willing to stay at one of those with you until this is resolved then that might even be an option

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I

I went to court for breaking a window then we asked to live there and they said yes but I don't know if it was court ordered but so do you think I can get a protecctive order for him pushing me

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

but i don't want my dad to find out that i want to live with my mom before it happeneds because then he'll be mad at me and i'll go to a foster home i don't care anywhere but here but i don't have proof he pushed me once he treatens me he talks about hurting my mom but i don't have proof i'm 15 i wanted to go to the police in a week next time my mom takes me and telling them but if he finds out that i want to leave then i can't deal with him yelling at me and would i be protected from him until he went to court

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If I tell them what I told you about him will they change the custody that day

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

i

i went to court for breaking a window then we asked to live there and they said yes but i don't know if it was court ordered but so do you think i can get a protecctive order for him pushing me

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In one word, no. Again, if you simply file for a restraining order he will be notified of the Court date and then you will go back to his house and live there until it is heard.

And I don't think you have sufficient proof -

Why are you having difficulty with your Mom going back to Court and getting custody of you?

When did you start living with your father?

Like we have said you need to get out of the house and have a place to stay established before you can get a restraining order. You can't get a restraining order and then still be stuck having to live with him so your mother needs to talk to the police, a lawyer and the court about her best plan of action FIRST. She needs to file for sole custody.

It all rests in if there is a court order issued and finding the best way to go about things.
IF he does have court orders for your custody then it could be a bit harder.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Again - why do you live with your father? Is it by Court order?

If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide.

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I went to court cuzz I broke a window and me + my mom wanted me to live with my dad the judge said yes my dad wasn't there, the most I can be with my mom is four days straight and can they change the custody on that day if I tell them what I told you if not then can I not go back to my dad's until the custody is changed

We understand that BUT you need to ask your mother if the court issued orders for you to stay with him.
If not she can possibly take you, get a restraining order and tell him that she is filing for sole support.

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

i went to court cuzz i broke a window and me + my mom wanted me to live with my dad the judge said yes my dad wasn't there, the most i can be with my mom is four days straight and can they change the custody on that day if i tell them what i told you if not then can i not go back to my dad's untill the custody is changed

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Look, go back and read what I've posted - this is already been addressed.

I know you're upset but you are asking questions without reading the answer to the previous question. This has already been answered.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

In one word, no. Again, if you simply file for a restraining order he will be notified of the Court date and then you will go back to his house and live there until it is heard.

And I don't think you have sufficient proof -

Why are you having difficulty with your Mom going back to Court and getting custody of you?

When did you start living with your father?

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He pushed me though, so isn't that battery I've been with my dad 9 months I can't have him get the court notice because he'll be really mad at me and are you saying I have to live with my dad when he knows that I want to live with my mom I can't stay with my uncle or just stay at my mom's until the court date

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

he pushed me though, so isn't that battery i've been with my dad 9 months i can't have him get the court notice because he'll be really mad at me and are you saying i have to live with my dad when he knows that i want to live with my mom i can't stay with my uncle or just stay at my mom's until the court date

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You can't prove he pushed you -

Read back over what I have posted: "If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can't prove he pushed you -

Read back over what I have posted: "If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide."

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So I can get an emergency custody order and live at my mom's until the court date.but on the court date what if he says that I'm doing better here and everything do you think that they will let me live with my mom if they know that I'm am so stressed over this I could barely breath one day because I was so nervous about coming back to my dad's from visiting my mom

They should let you live with your mom until they determine if he is safe to be with or not.
If you can get into counseling with a psychologist and talk about how your dad scares you and the impact of his threats that should help too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

They should let you live with your mom until they determine if he is safe to be with or not.
If you can get into counseling with a psychologist and talk about how your dad scares you and the impact of his threats that should help too.

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Can I do that at court because I know if I let them know how much he scares me I think I can live with my mom

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

can i do that at court because i know if i let them know how much he scares me i think i can live with my mom

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But won't he pretend to be good and like trick them

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

so i can get an emergency custody order and live at my mom's untill the court date.but on the court date what if he says that i'm doing better here and everything do you think that they will let me live with my mom if they know that i'm am so stressed over this i could barely breath one day because i was so nervous about coming back to my dad's from visiting my mom

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You don't get the emergency order - your mother does. An adult of legal age gets the order.

No one knows what the Court will decide - as I said, they will review the situation, perhaps evaluate the 3 of you, decide what is in your best interest and that's where you will go to live.

What does your Mom say about all of this? I don't understand the change of custody over a broken window - how did you end up in Court?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can't prove he pushed you -

Read back over what I have posted: "If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide."

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How long does a emergency custody order last for

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

how long does a emergency custody order last for

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It's not an emergency court order - it's a request for an emergency hearing leading to a Court Order. Then the temporary (for a limited number of days) or permanent Court order regarding custody is issued.

You go to court with your mom and tell them he is verbally abusive and it scares really bad.
Then they will probably order a counseling evaluation.
Your dad could come off really nice but you need to somehow prove he is not the same way at home.
Your mother should be able to tell them that he has a history of aggressively verbal abuse so they can see it is consistent with him.

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Originally Posted by ddotraisin

but won't he pretend to be good and like trick them

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He will try - some of it will come down to past family history, yours, his, your mother's, who is believable, who has been in trouble, if any one of you is playing the system.

The Court is sometimes not real understanding when the child goes from parent to parent when there is a problem - that's why whether there's a Court order is important as well as why your mother allowed you to move in with your father.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It's not an emergency court order - it's a request for an emergency hearing leading to a Court Order. Then the temporary (for a limited number of days) or permanent Court order regarding custody is issued.

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But I won't be with him until I go to court

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

He will try - some of it will come down to past family history, yours, his, your mother's, who is believable, who has been in trouble, if any one of you is playing the system.

The Court is sometimes not real understanding when the child goes from parent to parent when there is a problem - that's why whether there's a Court order is important as well as why your mother allowed you to move in with your father.

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My mom got a restraining order on him before cuzz he hit her

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

He will try - some of it will come down to past family history, yours, his, your mother's, who is believable, who has been in trouble, if any one of you is playing the system.

The Court is sometimes not real understanding when the child goes from parent to parent when there is a problem - that's why whether there's a Court order is important as well as why your mother allowed you to move in with your father.

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Thank you very much but can you tell me what to do step by step so I can send it to m mother

IF there is NO court order
She needs to get you somewhere safe
Her house, uncles,
Get an emergency custody order,
Take it to court and request sole/full custody
Have mom testify to his past abuse
You tell the Judge of his abuse to you
(her allowing you to stay with him could work against you because the court could want to know why she allowed it and why you were there this long)
All she can really say is that she didn't think he would be abusive to you too.
Have your mom ask about court ordered psychology evaluations.
Do everything the court tells you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

IF there is NO court order
she needs to get you somewhere safe
her house, uncles,
get an emergency custody order,
take it to court and request sole/full custody
have mom testify to his past abuse
you tell the Judge of his abuse to you
(her allowing you to stay with him could work against you because the court could want to know why she allowed it and why you were there this long)
All she can really say is that she didn't think he would be abusive to you too.
Have your mom ask about court ordered psychology evaluations.
do everything the court tells you.

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Thank you but what if it's court ordered that I need to live with my dad thenwhat do I do?