Ask Me Help Desk - Can I evict my mother-in-law

Can I evict my mother-in-law

My mother-in-law has lived with me for past 8 years. She was babysitting to earn her personal income. Now I am facing divorce situation but I do not want to divorce but My mother-in-law think the house is belong to her since I moved out temporary already. I visted my kids very often. Eveytime I saw her she is always give me the poker face. How can I evict her out of my house. Your advice is very very appreciated. I love my wife but I do not want her involved our relationship at all. I want her out of my house. I never ask her to pay the rent so we do not have the ladnlord situation

It's all about the lease. Is the mother-in-law on it? If not, she can be removed.

XenoSapien

I'm assuming you own the house, you keep referring to it as yours, so there would be no lease involved. However, whether your M-I-L pays rent or not, she has established residency after 8 years.

Where does your wife weigh in on this? Does she want her mom out? Will you still divorce if the M-I-L moves out. This all has a bearing on a correct answer.

If you do have no lease that she has signed, then ask the city police remove her. Period.

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

If you do have no lease that she has signed, then ask the city police remove her. Period.

XenoSapien

One does not have to have a lease to establish residency. Having lived in a place for 8 years is more than enough to do that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

One does not have to have a lease to establish residency. Having lived in a place for 8 years is more than enough to do that.

Ok... So the poster should have the police escort her out.

XenoSapien

This is at least a second time you have given me a retailiatory negative comment. And you were wrong that time as well. If a person has lived in a house for 8 years, they have established residency. Whether the home is owned or leased, you can't just put such a person out without due process. Nor will the police escort such a person out, at least not wothout a court order.

Please check your facts before you make negative commments or better yet before you post misleading info.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This is at least a second time you have given me a retailiatory negative comment. And you were wrong that time as well. If a person has lived in a house for 8 years, they have established residency. Whether the home is owned or leased, you can't just put such a person out without due process. Nor will the police escort such a person out, at least not wothout a court order.

Please check your facts before you make negative commments or better yet before you post misleading info.

This is the second time you have done an aggressive negative comment towards me. If that is NY law, fine. But that is a joke here in the midwest, because if you are not the owner, you have NO authority to do jack to do anything to anybody. If you are the owner, that's all the cops need to know. That must be why NY is such a mess.

XenoSapien

Show me a statute that would allow a home owner to remove any one from their home that has resided there for 8 years.

I only use a negative comment when someone posts an answer that is factually incorrect,

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Show me a statute that would allow a home owner to remove any one from their home that has resided there for 8 years.

I only use a negative comment when someone posts an answer that is factually incorrect,

If there is nothing in writing from the mother in law to be living in the house, then the statute you are looking for ScottGem is called "Trespassing". This is factually correct, and she can be removed by the police department.

XenoSapien

You need to review the law on what constitutes trespassing. Trespassing is when someone enters onto private property without permission. The mother in law was given permission. While the permission can be revoked, once given trespassing no longer exists.

But there is another doctrine here, that of establishment of residency. If someone can establish official residence, getting mail, having identification as living at the address, etc. then they cannot be held as a trespasser.

I suggest you quit while you are behind, because you are just showing that you clearly do not know what you are talking about.

Thanks for everyone get me the answer. The house is own by me and my wife bceause both our name is on the title paper work. My M-I-L live with us when we have a first baby then after three years, we applied the green card for her. She got her greed card about two years agao. So does that mean she is residence for two years instead of 8 years unoffically. The reason I ask is because I do not want to divorce with my wife at all but my M-I-L sit in between us and she think once her daughter agree to have me move back home then she probably will end it up go back to her country. Now she think the house is own by her and her daughter , she can find the babysitter to work from home so she does not need to get my permission to allow since I am unoffically move out the house without court order. I am in a limbo situation. I begs her, I asked her politelly but She does not give me a . I want to win my wife back because I am the one who initiate the whole thing but our root cause is because my M-I-L been live with me too too long. I am tired of have her to think she has the right to stay my house because she told me when I get married I did not pay her any money. Asia culture. So she has the right to stay my house. The bottom line is Do I need to get eviction order in order to have her move out first. I want to know, by law she has no right to stay my house at all, that is what I want her to know and stop sitting between me and my wife.

My wife loves her mom more than everyone can think even more than me. But thing is been getting worst. I want to sovle our issue without her mom get involved so I will at least let my M-I-L knows pelase step out of my house while
I try to win my wife back. I do not want her to influence my wife decision. It is hard to answer the question people ask, If your ask your M-I-L move out then that is probably your wife will divorce you, That is probably correct but
At least I also want my wife to know, My M-I-L is not here to support me and I am the one who support her all the years, But both of them think my M-I-L stay my house at leat sometime take care of my baby so my M-I-L been help me for the past years. I want the true, I do not need M-I-L to help me, I can support my family, Because the past 5 years, my wife stay home took care of my baby and my M-I-L work outside babysit and come back home every night. And stay our house every weekend. My M-I-L think in the past few years, she does not owe me anything because she
Only stay my house every night and weekend, she does not eat my food and without us to supoort. Please I really need help to her to understand. I am not her son and I have 100% no right to support her. PLEASE HELP ME EVERYONE. I WANT TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE BUT ALSO WANT HER TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BECAUSE NOW SHE HATES ME A LOT !

The bottom line is she has established residency so you have to go through a formal eviction process. You cannot just throw her out. No police or any other law enforcement agency will go along with it.

Again, what does your wife say? Do you think you can get back together with her if you throw he mother out? What do you think mom will do for a living if you do throw her out? You might want to think about maybe getting her a small apartment nearby that you help pay for.

Like I said, She needs to move back to her country, she has son over there. The reason she wants to stay with us because the earn money is is 200% more than her own country. I can help her pay the apartment but my point is
To her realize in US she has no right to stay with me in her rest of her live.
Does the 8 years residence rule need to be full 8 years. Because during the years, she went back to her country few times and stay there few months as well. Do I need to count preciselly ?

Its not 8 years. Even one year is enough to establish residency.

I think you may need to look on this as an immigration issue. What are the terms of her green card? Does she have to have a job or place to stay. Maybe you can get her green card and Visa revoked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You need to review the law on what constitutes trespassing. Trespassing is when someone enters onto private property without permission. The mother in law was given permission. While the permission can be revoked, once given trespassing no longer exists.

But there is another doctrine here, that of establishment of residency. If someone can establish official residence, getting mail, having identification as living at the address, etc. then they cannot be held as a trespasser.

I suggest you quit while you are behind, because you are just showing that you clearly do not know what you are talking about.

There is a difference between verbal and written consent. Since there is no documentation, there has been NO consent. Hence, she is trespassing, because she has entered the property where there is no documentation to prove she is allowed to be there; hence, trespass. I suggest you think things through a little more.

XenoSapien

My wife applied her green card and not me, I was only agree to support her during the application of green card period. But now she got her green card. I asked Lawyer Can I revoke her green card, he said I can't because I did not apply for her :(

Xeno. If a person resides at a place for 8 years, they leave a paper trail. This person applied for and got a green card. What address do you think she put on the application? Where do you think the INS shows she is living?

What about the wife, do you think she's not going to say this is my mother?

I suggest you think period. You just keep digging a bigger hole for yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nttcar

My wife applied her green card and not me, I was only agree to support her during the application of green card period. but now she got her green card. I asked Lawyer Can I revoke her green card, he said i can't because I did not apply for her :(

You can't revoke the card, but what are the conditions under which she got the card? For example, she may have gotten the card under the conditions she would continue to live with you. If you tell the INS that she no longer has permission to live with you, they may revoke he green card and visa.

Again, there is no documentation that says she is allowed to be there. Nttcar can say he was nice enough to allow her to use his address for mail--that isn't proof that she is ALLOWED to be there. And now, the OWNER wants her to leave. She is trespassing. You're missing my point.

XenoSapien

And so, with what you're saying, I can have my mail sent to my mothers house that is many states away from me for eight years. Even though I live somewhere else, that mail being sent there proves that I live there? No, it doesn't.

XenoSapien

No you are missing the point. She LIVES there. She gets mail there. She has a bed there. That is not trespassing. And, again, NO law enforcement agency is going to remove her under these circumstances.

You also forget the wife in this issue. She is part owner of the home. You think she is going to say her mom is trespassing? Please stop digging yourself in deeper and deeper. Learn to admit when you were wrong and you are dead wrong on so many counts here its ridiculous for you to keep trying to justify your wrong advice.

Oh, OK, now the poster admits that it is the wife's house too. Yah, now that changes things.

XenoSapien

Even if he owned the home alone, it still wouldn't change the FACT that she has established residency.

Ok, so in addition to sending all my mail to mom's, I also send a bed, clothing, personal items and other things, yet not physically be there.

So with all of that, am I a resident? According to what you're saying about his MIL, that proves residency. And I am saying that is incorrect, that there is no documentation to actually prove it.

Forget about items that belong to her; heck, they could be storing her stuff for her. That doesn't prove residency.

XenoSapien

If you and your wife are not in agreement to get MIL out, then you don't really have much of a chance of getting her out. You may want her out, but wife is on the title and she can grant permission without you.

You and your wife have given your MIL license to live at your house and she has established residency. IF you and your wife are in agreement then you can give her a 30 day notice to vacate the premises. Then if she does not, then get a court order and get the sheriff's department to get her out.

I can't see where tossing MIL out is going to help you with the wife. Perhaps family counseling and eventually an apartment for MIL that is not inside your home.

Xeno, you must understand that there is common sense and then there is the law.

They don't always have the same conclusion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

Ok, so in addition to sending all my mail to mom's, I also send a bed, clothing, personal items and other things, yet not physically be there.

So with all of that, am I a resident? According to what you're saying about his MIL, that proves residency. And I am saying that is incorrect, that there is no documentation to actually prove it.

Forget about items that belong to her; heck, they could be storing her stuff for her. That doesn't prove residency.

XenoSapien

And you are wrong. You are making things up as you go along and not dealing with the facts of this case or the facts of law. No, just sending some things to be stored in the home doesn't necessarily establish residency. But the OP stated the mother had lived in the home for 8 years. One does not reside someplace for 8 years without leaving a paper trail. As noted, she applied for a green card using the home as her place of residence. That ALONE would have been sufficient.

Criminal trespass is the willful incursion on private property without permission. The MIL had permission initially. That permission cannot be revoked so easily.

Xeno--
You're saying what's common sense and the Midwest cultural norm. Scott is saying what the law is. Two different things. When push comes to shove, the law trumps common sense.

Nttcar--
Your real concern is saving your marriage, not getting rid of your mother-in-law. On that subject, Emland gave the best answer so far:

Quote:

I can't see where tossing MIL out is going to help you with the wife. Perhaps family counseling and eventually an apartment for MIL that is not inside your home.

Unless you and your wife agree that she needs to go, the MIL can stay. Agreeing with your wife is the prerequisite for getting her out. Legally, getting her out is impossible if your wife wants her there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

Xeno--
You're saying what's common sense and the Midwest cultural norm. Scott is saying what the law is. Two different things. When push comes to shove, the law trumps common sense.

nttcar--
Your real concern is saving your marriage, not getting rid of your mother-in-law. On that subject, Emland gave the best answer so far:

Unless you and your wife agree that she needs to go, the MIL can stay. Agreeing with your wife is the prerequisite for getting her out. Legally, getting her out is impossible if your wife wants her there.

Ok. That's fair, ordinaryguy. But please consider this: A soldier who has been in Iraq for eight years. Before he left for duty, he left all of his stuff in his parents home.

Now, where is his residency and where does he live, his parents house? No. Because the U.S. government will tell you that he is fighting in Iraq; and if asked, they will show you proof. Hence, his place of residency is in Iraq, not at his parents home. Why? Because the U.S. government will show you a DOCUMENT; a contractual agreement that says he is. Do you see my point?

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

And you are wrong. You are making things up as you go along and not dealing with the facts of this case or the facts of law. No, just sending some things to be stored in the home doesn't necessarily establish residency. But the OP stated the mother had lived in the home for 8 years. One does not reside someplace for 8 years without leaving a paper trail. As noted, she applied for a green card using the home as her place of residence. That ALONE would have been sufficient.

Criminal trespass is the willful incursion on private property without permission. The MIL had permission initially. That permission cannot be revoked so easily.

Verbal permission only. That cannot be proven. Hence, trespass.

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

Ok. That's fair, ordinaryguy. But please consider this: A soldier who has been in Iraq for eight years. Before he left for duty, he left all of his stuff in his parents home.

Now, where is his residency and where does he live, his parents house? No. Because the U.S. government will tell you that he is fighting in Iraq; and if asked, they will show you proof. Hence, his place of residency is in Iraq, not at his parents home. Why? Because the U.S. government will show you a DOCUMENT; a contractual agreement that says he is. Do you see my point?

No, I don't. The MIL has an established right of tenancy, therefore eviction proceedings are required to get her out, and that can't happen if the wife opposes it.

Ok.

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

But please consider this: A soldier who has been in Iraq for eight years. Before he left for duty, he left all of his stuff in his parents home.

But this scenario is not similar to the OP's situation. The MIL has lived in the house. They can't show she has lived somewhere else for all that time. She can show she has used the address as her residence. Neighbors may testify she has lived there. She has established residency. Give it up, you are wrong here, admit it and move on.

Umm, I think I got the picture now, ScottGem. What would you have me do? Go to a confessional?

XenoSapien

No, just a simple; "I understand now, I was incorrect, sorry."

I am still get confuse now, I know the bottom line is talk to my wife to save my marriage. But if I am going to divorce my wife I also want them to realize all the past 8 years I have been support her mom and she(MIL) has no right telling me she can stay in my house. That is the point I want to argure. I need the law to prove I am helping people not people once step in my house then I can not do anything. Now I been kick out the house and I need to see MIL poker face, if you were me what are you going to do .

Now I'm confused. If the house is owned jointly by you and your wife, and you plan on getting a divorce, then the disposition of the house becomes part of the divorce settlement. If you want the house and your wife and MIL out, then your attorney needs to ask for that in the negotiations.

If you just want your MIL out, then you have to get your wife to agree and if the MIL still refuses, then you have to file eviction proceedings against her.

nttcar: You have 2 different issues going on at the same time. You need to get straight with your wife whether you are going to reconcile or whether you are going to file for divorce. Once that is determined, you can move forward.

I think any counselor is going to recommend that you get MIL out. You wife is most likely either still tied to her apron strings or is scared of her. Finding MIL a new home would make your life as a couple better, IMO.

If you chose the divorce route, then either ask your attorney get her to either buy out your equity or sell the house and divide the remainder.

Either way, no more MIL. So, there is a silver lining there.

Here is the option
1: save my marriage, then have both of them realize MIL need to move out if by law
2: If I chose divorce, I want to keep the house and continue pay the mortgage and have my wife and kids stay in the house but Can I have MIL out of my house ? That is really bother me