Ask Me Help Desk - Wife left, took kids while I was at work

Quote:

Originally Posted by franksandbeans

Can a mod delete this thread please?

Thanks

Actually, don't delete it. There's a lot of good discussion going on here. Frank, a lot of people are trying to put you on a guilt trip and, unfortunately, you seem to be taken in by it. Don't be taken in by it. What your wife did was wrong, certainly morally and, probably to at least some extent, legally as well. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and you're the only one that can do it. It's your duty as a husband and a father to do it. Now, I'm sure she thinks she had her reasons for doing what she did. And there may be some legitimacy to her concerns. However, where you live as a family is determined by what's best for you as a couple and what's best for your kids, not what's convenient for Mommy and Daddy. She needed to cut herself loose from the apron strings the day she said "I do", if not before. She is married to you, not to her mother and father. Now understand that none of this will carry any weight in a court of law. However, you have equal, joint custody of your children and you can legally force her to let you see them. Furthermore, under the circumstances, she should be held for the logistical and financial issues of providing their transportation to and from visiting with you, while not jeopardizing their schooling and safety. It's up to you to get a court to require her to do all of that. Never mind all the counseling jazz and everything else right now ; that'll get resolved at a later date and that's a separate issue. If your wife wants to move out of state to be with mommy and daddy, there may be ultimately nothing you can do to stop that, but you can certainly make her deal with all of the consequences of that choice. But to do so, you need a court order, so go get it now, without further delay.

Hey Frank, I was wondering if you resolved your issue? I am currently in a very, very similar situation. My bipolar wife took my kids to Alaska and is living with her Dad and Mom and from what little information she has given me, she isn't coming back. Before people start thrashing me, I have read all 7 pages of responses. I am scheduling appointments with lawyers tomorrow, but I was wondering if you found out or did anything that was more beneficial in your situation that may assist me in getting my kids back. From what I've read, I can't do anything at all about it, which sucks because it's like she kidnapped my kids and it's legal because she is a legal guardian. I just don't understand how she is not breaking some kind of law with what she did. There must be something I can do.

If someone knows, would it be just as legal for me to fly up to Alaska and bring them back? Any advice is appreciated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxl0new0lfxxx

hey Frank, I was wondering if you resolved your issue? I am currently in a very, very similar situation. My bipolar wife took my kids to Alaska and is living with her Dad and Mom and from what little information she has given me, she isn't coming back. Before people start thrashing me, I have read all 7 pages of responses. I am scheduling appointments with lawyers tomorrow, but i was wondering if you found out or did anything that was more beneficial in your situation that may assist me in getting my kids back. From what i've read, i can't do anything at all about it, which sucks because it's like she kidnapped my kids and it's legal because she is a legal guardian. I just don't understand how she is not breaking some kind of law with what she did. There must be something I can do.

If someone knows, would it be just as legal for me to fly up to Alaska and bring them back? Any advice is appreciated.

I represented a guy a few years ago whose wife, while he was at work, took their son and left the state without telling him. She called the next day, lied and said they were in Utah but were really in Washington. I filed an emergency court action for him and had the kid back in about a week (back in California). He's had custody of the kid ever since. The mom has had very limited visitation.

You don't have to put up with this nonsense and shouldn't. Just as an overview, here's what I said on another thread about this subject:

"Disappearing with your child and not telling your co-parent where you are--what you might be concerned with in your case-- is a major state and federal crime (and felony).If this happens what you do immediately is file a court action, set an ex parte (emergency) hearing (usually scheduled within a day or so depending on local court rules) in which you request sole legal and physical custody of the child with no visitation to the other parent, make a police report, appear in court and, when the judge grants your request (which will happen) you turn the orders over to the Child Abduction Unit of your local DA's Office and they will help you locate and get your child back.

"That's what is suppose to happen and that is what is expected for any reasonable parent to do in that situation. Don't listen to people who tell you as a dad you have no rights, or that you have to be on the birth certificate to do this, or that "moms always get the kids unless they're prostitutes or heroin addicts" and all of that nonsense. That is total you-know-what offered by people who simply do not know what they are talking about. It's a level playing field. If you ever see yourself questioning this strategy ask yourself one simple question: What would the mom be doing if you did this with the kid (take off and not let her know where you were)? Freaking out, right? So should you."

I'm not recommending any course of action for you other than to consult with a good family law attorney in your jurisdiction. Do it ASAP.

Dude, I am in a very similar situation. What ever happened?

Depending on the state you live in she may not be allowed to move more than a certain number of miles from you. But you need to file for divorce first so you can get visitation and custody scheduled. Her plan is simple ,move out with the kids, out of state so the courts will not hold her within a certain distance,I live in pa and that's what they do here county line isas far as they can go without a court order. Then she gets to live with her mother and get child support from you. You need to stop giving her money and hire a lawyer get a injunction so she cannot leave state(emergency hearing is what you need). So you can see your kids. If you don't do something soon the courts will think you have no problem with her leaving whatever state you live in

Considering this thread is 4 years old, I am sure they have determined an outcome by now.

Please watch dates when responding to threads.