Ask Me Help Desk - One more custody law proposed amendment; for now.

No Xeno, what you want is an out for what you've done. You want everyone else to bear the "burden" of what you've done. You say you've spent so much time in research then you should be able to give it the very best effort you can and file yourself. If you've done so much research then you should know the forms necessary to ask the court to enforce the laws you have a right to. But you haven't and you won't. Until you attempt to enforce those laws and find them faulty then you have nothing to complain about except for your own poor judgment.

The only reason you are starting to believe that you shouldn't have posted your amendments here is because you are finding that if put to a broad general public you are not going to get the support you are hoping for because they simply have to many holes in them and are aimed at being gender biased.

When you actually aim your goals at truly bettering the position of the child and not specifically just one parent or the other you will find some support.

No, I'd say this is not correct. As an example that I have to explain more, froggy7 wouldn't have made a wild guess that I was married, and was just 'trying to get out of it'.

You say 'many holes'. My proposal is only so long, and I'm afraid that I don't see as many holes as you do. And if you look at the original question, I'm only asking on here as to whether it is fair or not. I'm saying nothing about promoting support.

The current system is gender biased in favor of the woman and you know this. So a few rights for the men overrides the courts current prejudice against men, and makes a balance.

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

No Xeno, what you want is an out for what you've done. You want everyone else to bear the "burden" of what you've done. You say you've spent so much time in research then you should be able to give it the very best effort you can and file yourself. If you've done so much research then you should know the forms necessary to ask the court to enforce the laws you have a right to. But you haven't and you won't. Until you attempt to enforce those laws and find them faulty then you have nothing to complain about except for your own poor judgment.

This illustrates my point of your arrogant 'belief' of what I am trying to do, and again shows that there is too much to explain. This is totally dead wrong, and I'm sorry you don't see the obvious.

In your very shallow and arrogant view, you 'guess' that I want "everyone else to bear the burden of what I've done". This is so wrong, there is no point engaging you on this small belief of yours.

I have done much research and did make an attempt to do this myself. But the bigger picture makes far more sense. The mother will make false allegations eventually, and I will have my rights to my daughter taken from me, lose jobs and be labeled.

What I think is you don't believe the mother is really as bad as I've described, and I think you spend too much energy on this, and it is clouding your rationale and causing you to make guesses.

And again, arrogant. I'm not complaining, I've simply drawn something up, and asking as to whether it's fair. But it has ended up making me bring excerpts from my blog and website, where my position can be found more pure and the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing more clear.

XenoSapien

I think the point that you're missing is this:

I gave up EVERYTHING for my child. I would have risked arrest, lost jobs, jail time, whatever it took, to make SURE my child was in a safe and happy atmosphere.

You seem unwilling to give up anything, or take any chances, to try to get this child from a woman you deem as psychotic and a compulsive liar.

Because of this attitude, and the attitude that money would make the difference here, we have no pity on you.

Having a child, loving a child, means giving up ANYTHING to make sure that child is safe. All you seem willing to give up is um... nothing! What you're trying to do is make WOMEN give up their rights! As a woman---um NO! Forget it!

If you truly love your child and want what is best for it... then FIGHT for your child.

Anything else is just bitterness and revenge, in my opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

"You know...whether religious or secular, the things you are suggesting set back women's rights by a few centuries."

Yet as it stands now, it's like that only the sexes have been switched. It is the men who are profoundly persecuted, and I am only looking to encourage a once and for all balance.

See the other post I did as to what I've already done to fight.

As for the "X's side of things", here is who you will be attempting to be fair to:

---10/29/97

Count 01: Domestic Battery/Physical Contact; Class A Misdemeanor

This particular offense is one that says a lot to me. It wasn't just battery, it was battery on her OWN MOTHER. According to the docket information, "Defendant to have NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER with ******** *********."

We are talking here about a woman who already has two girls. Granted, at this current time and the last that I've heard, the oven is making plans to have these two girls move in the home along with her new boyfriend. These girls have been raised, for at least the past three years at the least by grandma, and now their mother will finally raise them like she should have all along.
But will these girls have a developed, life-long profound level of animosity, that they will end up doing the same thing to their mother? And will the child we have, should mom have custody, end up doing the same thing?

In March of 1999, the docket ends with saying that the "Court finds that the People have not proven their case".

---09/11/98

Count 01: Resist/Obstruct peace officer
Count 02: False report of offense

This docket talks about how "The Court notes Defendant is currently on 12 mos. Conditional Discharge in 97 ** **** for domestic battery."

In October of 1998, the oven tenders a plea of 'guilty' to disorderly conduct as set forth in Count 02. This plea was accepted by the court, and the oven spent two days in jail with no time served. Apparently, "On People's motion, Count 01 is dismissed."

---07/02/99
Count 01: Forcible Entry & Detainer

This charge is evidentally submitted by the Housing Authority. I had no idea about this one, but apparently it talks about her being evicted from a residence.

---08/27/99

Count 01: Resisting/ Obstructing Police Officer

It looks like a warrant was issued in March of 2000 for her arrest. But, as is the pattern, all charges were dismissed by July of 2001.

XenoSapien

I must admit, if the subject of all of these summonses that you've cited here was a man, the outcome would most likely have been very different. But I am curious as to how you managed to acquire all of this information.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

You said it is the main problem so, yes, I say blanket statement. (But it isn't just women's morals who have decreased) Hypothetically, there is a married couple who have been in a very rocky relationship but still having sex, one day the husband tells the wife he has decided he is done with her and is getting a divorce, the devastated wife seeks comfort from a long standing male friend and in a moment of weakness and desperation ends up in bed with him. Some time later she comes to find out she is pregnant and realizes she is unsure of which one may be the father. Is she a moral less whore? I wouldn't consider her that. Stupid maybe but not moral less. Someone who doesn't sleep around , values marriage and monogamy but someone who in a moment of utter pain sought to ease that pain in another's arms. Not brilliant but it happens.

My point is just that not every woman who is unsure of the paternity sleeps with this one, and that one oh and a couple more just for good measure. And not every woman who is unsure of paternity is someone whose morals have decreased. She can be someone who has just made a huge mistake that is very out of character for her.

And paternity fraud for the purposes of bilking someone of child support wasn't the issue. Or whether or not her morals that got her pregnant in the first place are at issue. We are talking about proposing a law where a putative father will have a right to keep a woman from having an abortion. My point was that in th eyes of the law he is a putative father because unless it is proven by way of DNA he is only that, a possible not proven legal father. In order to have a right to the unborn child he would need to first establish his legal right to that child by proving his paternity. So, my question is valid. My argument is not that she is someone who sleeps around and doesn't know who the father is. My argument is that if the state were to allow this to become law they would then have to ask what happens if...by some chance the putative father we gave rights to turns out to not be the father? As long as abortion is legal the state will realize they have just made abortion illegal without changing the original law and have made it possible for any man to claim to be the putative father in order to stop a woman from having an abortion that she would otherwise have a legal right to have.
What would compel the state to justify enacting a law in which would provide for a man to take away the right of a woman to have an abortion where there is no legal proof he is the father thereby giving him equal rights to the unborn child?
I think you just have to be prepared to argue all the possible rebuttals.

Actually, if you look at the history behind it all, the philosophy of ancient societies was that the father had a right to his offspring and the mother didn't have the right to deny him that. This research is noted in the Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade decision. As for an unproven putative father, we all know that any alleged father can sign an acknowledgement of paternity without a DNA test being performed. In so doing he assumes all the rights and responsibilities of fatherhood. So it is altogether feasible that a putative father could sign an acknowledgement of paternity prior to the birth of the child, thereby accepting the responsibility and the rights of fatherhood where the unborn child in question is concerned. Of course, in so doing, the putative father becomes the legal father an forfeits his right to ever contest paternity in the future via a DNA test.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

I think the point that you're missing is this:

I gave up EVERYTHING for my child. I would have risked arrest, lost jobs, jail time, whatever it took, to make SURE my child was in a safe and happy atmosphere.

You seem unwilling to give up anything, or take any chances, to try to get this child from a woman you deem as psychotic and a compulsive liar.

Because of this attitude, and the attitude that money would make the difference here, we have no pity on you.

Having a child, loving a child, means giving up ANYTHING to make sure that child is safe. All you seem willing to give up is um...nothing! What you're trying to do is make WOMEN give up their rights! As a woman---um NO!! Forget it!

If you truly love your child and want what is best for it....then FIGHT for your child.

Anything else is just bitterness and revenge, in my opinion.

I can see that you ladies are requiring me to repeat myself, so here it is again about "Fighting":
What I Have Done For Nine Months...
(no particular order)

1) Made contact with Illinois Legal Services. Was told that they do not help those that are not Illinois citizens.

2) Made contact with Indiana Legal Services. Was initially ignored. Then told that they do not have jurisdiction.

3) Made contact with Illinois Pro-Bono Services. Ignored.

4) Made contact with Indiana Pro-Bono Services. Told that Indiana does not have jurisdiction.

5) Made contact with Indiana Attorney General's Office. Responded to within two weeks. Told that they could do nothing because of jurisdiction, but offered ideas.

6) Made contact with Illinois Attorney General's Office. Initially ignored. Then after about five months and after Anna's birth, sent by snail-mail, a list of people who may help, but they are people who have already ignored me, or have told me that I am not an Illinois citizen.

7) Made contact with Community Legal via online. Signed up, and was told they would help me. They never made me a client and took my money for no services rendered. They were fired.

8) Made multiple attempts for online free legal advice; most of which were returned as unanswered.

9) Contacted by phone and fax, Maury Povich. Was told to get a public defender, then was hung up on.

10) Sent letter to local newspaper to the "Dear Annie" section. Ignored and never responded to or printed.

11) Sent letter to Pastor John Hagee about my situation. Responded to with helpful prayers and hope.

12) Sent mass emails to multiple custody attorney's in Illinois. Three out of twenty responded. Only one offered help at 500$ as a retainer. Have not re-contacted the only one who offered this help. Cannot afford services.

13) Spent countless hours on research of the Illinois custody laws in pursuit of self-representation and the Illinois law.

14) Spent countless hours on research of the Indiana custody laws in pursuit of self-representation and the Indiana law.

15) Signed up for the Illinois Putative Father Registry; in fear, as stated by you, that you would allow boyfriend to adopt our child.

16) Signed up for the Indiana Putative Father Registry; in fear, as stated by you, that you would allow boyfriend to adopt our child.

17) Contacted National Brotherhood of Father's Rights. Received mass emails about possible options and helpful tools. Could not afford actual services, but thankful about options.

18) Contacted private investigator to check into whether mother was pregnant. Could not afford services.

19) Contacted the law offices of Cordell and Cordell. Had one-hour counsiltation with attorney. Could not afford services.

20) Created blogsite:

21) Created Website:

So don't tell me I'm not fighting/haven't fought. I don't think you know what happens when even an allegation is leveled at a man for molestation. The psycho-b**** will DO IT, and I will lose because of the judicial prejudice, then lose my job and my housing.

And since companies will see that on my record, just how in the hell do you expect me to fund a lawyer to get that over turned, huh? I've already at this point been turned down by the services who claim to help, you really think they're going to help someone who is now being accused of pedophilia? Use your head.

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by s_cianci

I must admit, if the subject of all of these summonses that you've cited here was a man, the outcome would most likely have been very different. But I am curious as to how you managed to acquire all of this information.

Freedom of information act. What is funny is that in my state, they charge you a fee. In Illinois, they don't. And during one of our last conversations, the mother told me she didn't realize her record was really that long. She saw it for herself.

XenoSapien

Here's another entry that may interest you, since you ladies are too lazy to see the real story instead of your misguided assumptions:

I've spent some time thinking about the next article to write about here on the Forest. I've decided to keep it alive, and continue writing even though conversation between momma and I has been completely severed.

I decided that I would let you in on what a man that was put in my position, under this great adversity experienced the whole nine-months of the pregnancy. The following that I have written is our communication throughout the pregnancy time period:

June 2nd, 2006 Doctor's assessment 'Night of Conception'.

June 24th, 2006 Drove to Illinois, witnessed momma taking pregnancy test; 10pm Illinois time.

July 2nd, 2006 Momma lets me know of the baby's due date: Feb. 23rd, 2007.

July 17th, 2006 Momma tells me that she aborts baby.

July 18th, 2006 Had one-hour consultation with Cordell and Cordell.

July 29th, 2006 Momma tells me that the baby still lives.

July 30th, 2006 Momma tells me she will announce engagement to new boyfriend to her family.

August 11th, 2006 Momma says she accidentally called, meant to call her aunt who has my same name.

August 16th, 2006 Momma tells me that her doctor says there is a possibility of twins.

August 18th, 2006 Had long phone conversation. Made appeal to be present at moment of birth.

August 31st, 2006 Called for ultra-sound request. She refuses to mail it, but says that I have to drive to Illinois to pick it up. Agreed to come to Illinois September 9th.

September 3rd, 2006 Momma calls and says she wants me to move to Illinois. Says how nice she'll be. Almost begs; says she picks me over new boyfriend/fiance.

September 4th, 2006 Momma calls and tells me her mother has Lupus, and has one year to live. Tells me its OK if I don't move to Illinois, but she won't let the baby stay in Indianapolis overnight.

September 8th, 2006 Very emotional night. Momma explains that she only loves boyfriend as a friend and wants to give up on being pregnant.

September 9th, 2006 The day I was supposed to drive to Illinois to pick up ultra- sound picture. Instead, stayed at home and talked to her on the phone. Negative, hateful and y mood as usual. Nothing in her has changed.

September 13th, 2006 Leave a 'gamble' voice message, saying that I think she is lying based on her history with me.

September 19th, 2006 Momma says she just now got my message, and tells me that I can stay away from she and her baby.

September 20th, 2006 Nasty phone conversation from the both of us. She says she will file harassment charges if I call again. I say I will file harassment charges if she calls again.

September 21st, 2006 Momma calls early morning. Harassment charges filed.

September 30th, 2006 Momma calls to tell me the sex of the baby, but assumes that I don't care to know. I remind her of the harassment charges.

November 19th, 2006 Mysterious voicemail from a 'restricted' phone number.

November 24th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at noon.

December 1st, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 2:30pm.

December 2nd, 2006 Momma calls and says she needs to tell me something about the baby; 11:30pm.

December 5th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 2:30pm.

December 6th, 2006 'Restricted' phone number call at 1:30pm.

December 24th, 2006 Momma's youngest daughter calls to wish me a Merry Christmas; says to call mom when I get this message; 10:58pm.

December 31st, 2006 Momma calls at 5:32 am. I do not answer.

January 6th, 2007 Called momma's mom at 10am. Wanted me to not call her anymore; that the issue is between momma and I. Tells me she believes the baby to be the X-husband's. I sacrifice my harassment charges and call Momma almost an hour later. We have a two-hour discussion, and she still insists on doing it the hard way, catering the advice of her mother. Talks about moving to Atlanta or Florida.

January 12th, 2007 I call Momma again. Had discussion with no fighting. I again pursue doing all of this the easy way. She says that I should have thought of that before I stated that we would take it to court. I repeated that I only announced court because she threatened that I would never know our child. Momma agrees to allow communication once a week.

January 21st, 2007 Momma calls about the Bears and Colts in the superbowl. Stable to good conversation.

January 24th, 2007 I call momma at 10:30am Indiana time. Stable conversation. Make half-serious attempt to have her move
to Indiana. Still firm about the idea that I should have moved
to Illinois the minute I found out I was to be a father.

February 2nd, 2007 Momma calls. Stable conversation. Tells me the baby is born--then admits to just kidding around.

February 3rd, 2007 Momma calls at 12:50 am. I do not answer.

February 11th, 2007 My website "Babies As Weapons" is launched.

February 16th, 2007 Momma calls around midnight, tells me my daughter was born on the 15th. Also admits that she doesn't know me.

February 19th, 2007 I call momma. She tells me she's on the other phone, then hangs up on me.

February 21st, 2007 Momma calls around 2:30pm, but my phone says "no duration".

February 23rd, 2007 Momma calls around midnight. Admits lying about the actual date of baby's birth. Also admits that she knows she has lied to me many times. After three hours, she sends
six pictures of the baby.

February 24th, 2007 Momma calls at 1:30am. I do not answer.

********************************

I know that it is true that during the pregnancy period, the mother is on a "hormonal roller-coaster". Hence, inconsistent, erratic behavior is expected. However, if you were to read my previous posts that are all before momma's pregnancy, you'll find that her behavior is already inconsistent and erratic. There is no difference between her behavior during pregnancy or before her pregnancy.

This dangerously-wild nature is actually who she really is; the pregnancy inspired nothing but her nastiness to rise to its full potential.

XenoSapien

... And a bit of proof that I am a good man who is and has been fair, who has tried desperately to work with her on this VERY serious issue:

Thursday, September 28, 2006
Now that you have read my very first blog, the one that really shows the inspiration behind it all, I feel it's time to tell you a little about me as well as the birth mother with when we first met.

I am just a regular guy who goes to work everyday of the week. For a long time, I have been what I like to call a 'Fred Flinstone', and refused to ever be on line; even at the threat of the government. Any of my friends that know me well will support my comment. I believed that I was doing fine without computer access, and combining that with my 'survivor-no-matter-what' modus operandi, I never cared to even examine the idea.

Then I met her, had ups and downs, and have decide to become George Jetson. This meeting, no doubt, is one of the most profound events that has ever occurred to me in my whole life. I never saw it coming, as is usually the case when I meet someone special. And as I am going through all this now with a possible child on the way, I have been writing a journal to my unborn child. In it, I tell my child the whole story about its mother and I. I re-read it a hundred times, and realize that it is the best description of al the events about us. So with that in mind, I thought I would share an excerpt from that journal:

"...On November 22nd, 2004, I met a woman of such great
presence, power and potency, that all that I called my
world disintegrated instantly and morphed into a vision
only previously dreamed about by likely droves of men.
A surreal existence of a human being that humbled
most men, as this woman emitted a vibe without saying
a word or shifting a somatic motion of any kind. Truly,
my attraction and interest was automatic and definitive.
At this time, I was in Illinois on a new career opportunity.
An opportunity that I anticipated as a big step up in my
field of work, as I was promised further knowledge I had
beforehand asked for. This eventually turned out to not
be the case, but I stuck it out for as long as I thought
I could. But what I never believed would happen in all
my wildest dreams and nightmares actually did. I met
your mother.
As I hopefully wish, you are aware that my birthday is
November the 21st. And if you are also aware of my
field of work as a maintenance technician, you know
that there are times when my job requires me to take
what is called 24-hour emergency call. They give you
a pager or cell phone, and it is your responsibility to
answer these devices at any time to know when
someone needed your help. On my actual 32nd birthday,
which fell on a Sunday, I was on my last night of emergency
call. So when Monday the 22nd was born, I took the
night to celebrate my birthday a day late.
Being a single man at that time and previously noticing
this establishment within the first month that I had set
foot in Illinois, I decided that I would go alone to this
gentleman's club to celebrate this occassion. Up to this
point in my life, I had been to a gentleman's club only
once, and that was with friends and I was turning
30 years old.
I walked in like the rookie, but yes, a veteran of a regular
bar scene. So as I headed for the bar to order a drink,
I was stopped by a voice from behind me. I turned and
faced a man who asked me if I was a member, and I
replied no. He informed me that this was a members-only
night, and asked if I would like to be one. I said yes and
asked how much it would cost. He told me 20 dollars, and
that it would last for a year. I agreed, and followed him to
the desk by the front door he occupied. I then filled out
the paperwork to make it official, and he told me to have
a good time. I then reacquired my directive to go to
the bar and buy my first drink.
I moved to the bar and ordered a beer. The barmaid
served me my drink and I paid her the monies owed. Now
being a full-blooded male, my thoughts directed me to
take a look at the scantily clad female on the stage
dancing. I didn't even turn my head half of the way to
that direction before I caught the eye of the most
beautiful woman I had ever seen in all my life. For
a second, I thought I was looking at a young Janet Jackson.
This magnificent icon of beauty was wearing an ankle-long
purple dress, with Cleopatra straight styled jet-black
hair that danced with the center of her back. She was three
or four seats away from where I was at the bar and
looking right back at me. For a split second, my heart
jumped and my world paused and everything was
completely tuned out. There was nothing at all except
her. I had been instantly locked in.
So as to not look like I was staring, I continued to move
my eyes in the direction of the stage. I took a brief look
at the dancer working her dance of seduction, then moved
to the nearest table and sat down. I looked back to where
I saw the woman of my type of perfection, and noticed
that she had moved from the bar, and was approaching.
We again locked eyes, sending all available butterflies in
my stomach to fly boundless.
What was also striking was the speed of her movement. It
was noticeably slow, dream-like and surreal. With all this
already dad-perfect vision of exceptional beauty, something
equally powerful and overwhelming doubled the potent dose
already seen. Her smile would make Job smile in his darkest
hour. World peace could be achieved, perpetual motion
solved, and all mysteries of mankind realized just because
of this woman's smile. I previously never thought a smile
could be that strong and do so much. I was captured entirely.
She asked if she could sit down with me, and I most definitely
said yes. She did, and we conversed and continued to
talk for the rest of the night. She of course had to make
her money and do her share of the stage dancing, but
no matter what she did, she always returned to my table.
We asked each other all the right questions, laughed and
talked very well. Her presence and speech and everything
about her put me in a state of psychological utopian
peace. Only once before has a woman ever put me
in this state of mind.
I told a friend a type of description I had for your mother
once. It was like I was an archeologist seeking out
evidence of dinosaurs. And previously for thousands
of years, an extremely rare dinosaur was still trying
to be fully discovered. But up to this point, bones
that had been found and constructed for this rare
dinosaur had been put together with a missing bone.
A 'key' bone that completed the mankind-long puzzle
of this rare dinosaur. I discovered this bone on this
night celebrating my birthday, and it was named
********.
As the night grew late, I posed the question of asking her
for her phone number. This caused her to stutter
with the unintelligible "ummm", and I quickly
remedied with asking if I could give her mine. She
immediately said yes, and I did.
The most profound question that I asked all night was
the question of her marital status. She had told me that
her divorce was final as of about a week ago.
That her night was one of liberation and celebration, too.
I am a man who has always openly trusted people when
I first meet them. That I have no initial reason not
too, so that I always know that from the start, I was
open and non-judgemental. I gave her that 100
percent trust at day one.
The very next day, I recieved a phone call on my first
required 15 minute workday break. It was your
mother, with more questions and talk. We arranged
going to a regular bar together near the end of
this week and spending more time getting to know
each other. We did, and by both of our accounts,
was the best conversation we ever had in our one
year and seven month total history..."
I am currently reflecting on what I have written above. No matter what happens from here on out in my life; losing my mind in old age, this event will never be erased. Ever.

::EDIT:: in response to post #50. Sorry NeedKarma I'm not that computer savvy I guess, I don't know how to do a hyperlink from an individual thread in a post. I didn't like reposting a long post either, just wasn't sure how to do it otherwise. Hopefully this resolves it.

I am sorry I must have missed it... where does it say you self represented and filed to establish paternity with the court? You do not have to have an attorney to do this. All you need is the form, obtainable through the clerk of the court and the filing fee (you can save for a computer you can save for a filing fee).

Please don't start posting your lengthy blog entries here. Put a simple one line hyperlink if you must refer to previously written material.

Actually tawny I was referring to Xeno's post.

Ahhhh well my reposting it didn't help either. :)

Xeno--you scare me.

Because you don't have the money to fight for your child (um... ever hear of a LOAN?), you're taking it out on everyone else, and making a case that takes away rights, rather than grants them.

You say you have no bitterness for your ex, and this is about the child, yet all I see here is anger towards your ex, and lack of drive to gain custody of your child. Money or not, I can not see how leaving your child in that environment would be good for the child. You seem unwilling to sacrifice anything for the welfare of your child--your name, your money, your job, whatever.

You say she'd lie and accuse you of horrible things in court. Well, tell that to a lawyer! If they know she's going to lie, they can trip her up in one IN COURT.

You have rights, you just have to be willing to go into debt to assert them. Or give up your job and move to Illinois, where the child is, to get more help!

I have no sympathy for you, nor do I have pity. I hope your plans fail utterly, because they are so poorly thought through for the greater good that it's not even funny.

You talk about not using a child as a weapon. Well, what exactly are YOU doing? You're trying to make it so that a child can be used against its mother, even before it is born!

Yes, our laws are flawed, and in some cases a parent gets custody that probably never should. But you, sir, sound as though you are as psychotic and obsessive in your own way as the child's mother is. She may have a criminal background, but I've know a lot of people who have turned their lives around for the sake of a child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Please don't start posting your lengthy blog entries here. Put a simple one line hyperlink if you must refer to previously written material.

Please don't ask questions that I've already answered that require long answers. But I'll stop now, cause I'm bored with repetition.

XenoSapien

Quote:

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

::EDIT:: in response to post #50. Sorry NeedKarma I'm not that computer savvy I guess, I don't know how to do a hyperlink from an individual thread in a post. I didn't like reposting a long post either, just wasn't sure how to do it otherwise. Hopefully this resolves it.

I am sorry I must have missed it...where does it say you self represented and filed to establish paternity with the court? You do not have to have an attorney to do this. All you need is the form, obtainable through the clerk of the court and the filing fee (you can save for a computer you can save for a filing fee).

One more time, for those who conveniently ignore what I've already written: If I pursue this, I will lose everything, not be a father and die homeless. Get the picture yet?

XenoSapien

Xeno, I have asked you before in PM to please NOT bring your crusade here. While many of us can sympathize with your plight, there is not really much we can do to help. If you cannot afford an attorney, can you at least take out a loan?

Have you considered counseling? Therapy may help you in getting over this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

Xeno--you scare me.

Because you don't have the money to fight for your child (um...ever hear of a LOAN?), you're taking it out on everyone else, and making a case that takes away rights, rather than grants them.

You say you have no bitterness for your ex, and this is about the child, yet all I see here is anger towards your ex, and lack of drive to gain custody of your child. Money or not, I can not see how leaving your child in that environment would be good for the child. You seem unwilling to sacrifice anything for the welfare of your child--your name, your money, your job, whatever.

You say she'd lie and accuse you of horrible things in court. Well, tell that to a lawyer! If they know she's going to lie, they can trip her up in one IN COURT.

You have rights, you just have to be willing to go into debt to assert them. Or give up your job and move to Illinois, where the child is, to get more help!

I have no sympathy for you, nor do I have pity. I hope your plans fail utterly, because they are so poorly thought through for the greater good that it's not even funny.

You talk about not using a child as a weapon. Well, what exactly are YOU doing? You're trying to make it so that a child can be used against its mother, even before it is born!

Yes, our laws are flawed, and in some cases a parent gets custody that probably never should. But you, sir, sound as though you are as psychotic and obsessive in your own way as the child's mother is. She may have a criminal background, but I've know a lot of people who have turned their lives around for the sake of a child.

We are all in charge of our emotions. If you're scared, that's your problem and your issue to deal with.

"Because you don't have the money to fight for your child (um...ever hear of a LOAN?), you're taking it out on everyone else, and making a case that takes away rights, rather than grants them. "

--I've already tried loans, but my credit is so bad, nobody will touch me.

"You say you have no bitterness for your ex, and this is about the child, yet all I see here is anger towards your ex, and lack of drive to gain custody of your child. Money or not, I can not see how leaving your child in that environment would be good for the child. You seem unwilling to sacrifice anything for the welfare of your child--your name, your money, your job, whatever."

--Most of what was posted was last year. Most of the bitterness is gone now. Look at the dates of the blogs. Hmm, you must have missed the listed that I've posted twice now about what I have done... again, sick of repetition. PRISON is the conclusion for fighting for my daughter. How many times do people have to repeat things to you before it registers? For the very last time, the mother is extremely vindictive, and since she knows I will not take her back, she will strike with great vengeance propelled by her talent for lying. I'm not going to repeat this again.

"I have no sympathy for you, nor do I have pity. I hope your plans fail utterly, because they are so poorly thought through for the greater good that it's not even funny. "

--I have no desire to have sympathy or pity, and it's obvious you want me to fail. All I asked for with this proposal, again repeating, is for a yes or no or fair or not fair. Not for some 'under the lamp' drilling of which the person still remains lacking in sufficient data for the subject.

"You talk about not using a child as a weapon. Well, what exactly are YOU doing? You're trying to make it so that a child can be used against its mother, even before it is born!"

--So it's OK for her, but not me? Besides, she is the one with the physical control and I am not.

"Yes, our laws are flawed, and in some cases a parent gets custody that probably never should. But you, sir, sound as though you are as psychotic and obsessive in your own way as the child's mother is. She may have a criminal background, but I've know a lot of people who have turned their lives around for the sake of a child."

--90% of the time, the woman has the power in the courts so stop acting like it's any kind of fair. Your assessment of me is entirely without merit and means absolutely nothing. No woman will ever again tell me they will mail me a fetus, and expect nothing to become of it. Maybe you don't have enough compassion or emotion or experience to have someone tell you convincingly that your child has been murdered when they are in fact alive.

XenoSapien