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Well it's a drug and Alcohol awareness center, where there are employed counselors but they bill to medical and they get their salaries through the provider... If you get a DUI you can go there for counseling and pay for the service. Cash/Medical. But over all it's a non-profit.
Unless it can be established that the NPC is a sham, and that it's really just a cover to hide the property of the husband and his family.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
I know Im doing the right thing thank you for all the advice and input Thank you for the support but please let me know if Im going crazy I have been crying myself to sleep every night for the past 3 days I have been having nightmares about this divorce, am I going crazy. My heart is aching wondering what happened to 7 years.
Thank you for the advice I will let my attorney try to figure out the best solution. I don't want him to be in trouble with IRS just what's fair for my family ( My SON and me)
If you let him continue like this and it is found out that he and his family are essentially crooks, then you will be guilty of aiding and abeting this criminal enterprise misusing public funds. Why NOT turn him and his family into the IRS? They are such nasty, creepy, spoiled rotten people and actually deserve none of their illgotten gains. They sound like they are happily helping themselves to money that they are not legitimately earning. The paid under the table is one glaring example.Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
You seem so reluctant to have them open to any kind of public inspection or scrutiny. Stop protecting them, they certainly are against you and your child.
Before you start thinking about turning him in to the IRS, you need to know exactly what is going on. I'm not in the least convinced that there is something shady going on. I think you don't really know the details about the organization your husband works for and you need to understand it better before you do anything else.
I know Im doing the right thing thank you for all the advice and input Thank you for the support but please let me know if Im going crazy I have been crying myself to sleep every night for the past 3 days I have been having nightmares about this divorce, am I going crazy. My heart is aching wondering what happened to 7 years.
I will find out everything the TRUTH in regards to the business.
Divorce is a traumatic circumstance. No you aren't going crazy, but it might help if you think about some counseling.
My husband wants split custody just to hurt me, he I gave him an option of every other weekend and one night every week during the week, I am also not wanting him to be away from our 4year old son, I want him at all activities that our child may have. He says he wants 3 extra nights during the weeks he doesn't have our son over a weekend. Is this possible he said he will fight me.
Hello C:Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
Technically, they are violating the law... However, it appears that the corporation is NOT non profit, and you ARE entitled to a share. I understand that you don't want to snitch them off. But, you're a victim here. They're ripping YOU and YOUR SON off. I don't know WHY you want them to get away with it.
excon
PS> Have you ever heard the refrain, "keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer"? This is exactly WHY.
My husband wants split custody just to hurt me, he I gave him an option of every other weekend and one night every week during the week, I am also not wanting him to be away from our 4year old son, I want him at all activities that our child may have. He says he wants 3 extra nights during the weeks he doesn't have our son over a weekend. Is this possible he said he will fight me.
He knows Im not as financially capable as he is ( he makes 3 times as much as I do) I told him that its going to traumatize our child to be here one day there another... He is unreasonable... Mind you, for the past 4 years my Son has only been away from for a week all together. I am always primary
You can agree that your soon-to-be ex-husband will have specific visitation, but you can't force him to exercise it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
Sure. If the two of you agree to it that is likely what the judge will order.Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
In some states you can ask the court to order him to pay some of all of your attorney fees. Look into it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
I live in CA, My attorney has asked for him to pay my fees, he will not agree to it. I do not want my son away from me 3 out of 7 nights just because, he hasn't been there for him at night anyway.
Please understand, your ex is very, very likely unless there is a reason not to. Get Joint custody, if he makes a motion for it.
You have child one week, he has child the next week, and holidays are done or exchanged each year, one has christmas this year, the other the next and so on.
Joint custody is very very common, esp in California.
And to be honest it is only fair, since the child is his also.
And so after perhaps a short time frame for child to get used to dad, the child will get used to being there, and dad will get used to being a full parent during his week.
There is no reason listed why father could not get that if he wanted it.
In fact, some fathers even get primary custody, when I was divorced I got custody of my child, and mother only had visits.
The major problem with this is he's just doing this to hurt me, Even now that we still live under one roof he leaves as soon as my child is sleeping. He goes out with buddies I put my son to sleep 98% of the time only when he is home my son will say can Dad tuck me in which is very rare that he is home at all.
I don't think that Im being unreasonable about every other weekend and once every week ( these are only overnights) I don't mind him spending all the time he wants with our son, of course I want my son to have his dad in his life. But, I DON'T want him to be dumped on Grandma while dad goes out with buddies when he can be with his own mom who took care of him for 4 years ( my son is 4) My attorney said that I am being reasonable and with my husbands history of leaving my son with me while he goes out this is bound to happen him leaving my son with grandma and heading out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
Ok, so if he won't negotiate in good faith, take it to trial and tell the judge what you are telling us.Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
Trying to negotiate only goes so far. There comes a time to stop wasting time at the negotiating table and take it up with the judge.
I've merged your threads since they all relate. Please don't start a new thread over the same issue. Any future followups should be posted as a Reply/Answer to this thread.
He told me that if you believe that I was around at least 20% of the time then lets do an 80/20 custody who knows what that is in CA?
Hello again, Confused:
80/20 sounds like an ordinary visitation agreement, where the father gets the child every other weekend, and one night a week. Plus every other holiday, and two weeks or more during the summer.
Or, something of that nature..
excon
Well that is what I said is that you will get our son every other weekend sat morning 9am -sunday 8pm and every week you can have an overnighter on tuesdays from 5pm -wed. 8:30 am ( he will drop off at day care) he said I don't know what an 80 20 is and I should ask around because he wants at least two more nights during the weeks he doesn't have our four year old over the weekend. Which is just him hurting me because he is just going to have his mother watch my kid while he goes out with buddies anyway.
Hello again, C:
You've got to get off what HE does with HIS son when it's HIS time. If what he does puts your son in DANGER, then you have a right to complain... But, NOT because he lets Grandma babysit.
excon
But is what Im stating not correct as far as an 80/20 ? I can't just sit here knowing that my son is being used as a basketball bouncing back and forth just for the idea of his dad hurting me.
Hello again, C:Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
IF you can't abide the agreement, go to COURT. NOBODY wins in negotiated settlements.
I can't tell you if what I described is 80/20 because there is NO SUCH THING as 80/20 in the law. 80/20 is YOUR guys words. What I described is as CLOSE to what I think you think 80/20 means.
excon
Quite frankly. With the attitude you keep pushing. When you get to mediation and your still having the same attitude then you won't have to worry about bouncing the child around as you will have no custody. You can't keep saying what he will do. You can't predict the future. And you can't keep saying he's doing it to hurt you. That's insane. So if you wish to follow those lines then the courts will see you as an unstable parent and your time with the child may end up supervised.Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused333
You need to stop trying to figure out how to keep the child from their father.
Even if he has 50/50 custody don't you think he's going to dump the kid off at grandma's instead of taking him with him when he sees his buddies? Wouldn't you rather have the kid at grandma's anyway? Dad is not going to magically grow up and spend quality time with sonny tucking him in bed, reading him a bedtime story. No. Grandma is going to do this for him.
I can't tell you how many little kids are being raised by their grandparents as the real parents can't handle this "chore". Why should your husband be any different? Wonder how many of his buddies have exwives and dump their kids at grandma's? Probably a lot.
Ok here is the latest he came home yesterday asking me if we can do the split custody on our own and without attorneys involved, then he said since I went through his e-mails I broke this family up and if I don't change by 360 degrees and start working my *** off for his trust he will never forgive me he also said that I have to beg for his forgiveness to consider this is this normal? Im so hurt and feel like crap he said I will give you till Friday to decide what I want to do.
If you two and agree to terms, ( and it is fairly obvious you can't) it is cheaper, you both agree, hire one attorney to write it up and file it with the court.
But the issue here is, he can do anything he wants, as long as it does not put the child in danger with the time he has as his custody time. That can include leaving them with grandma or auntie or a day care center. Will you not leave them at day care when you work??
You have ( and need to understand) no say in what he and his child does with their time together, if he wastes it, it wastes it.
He can most likely get 50 / 50 if he goes to court, and nothing you have said here is likely to effect that happening. Courts are getting very progressive in allowing fathers equal rights.
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