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I am taking steps to improve the situation I'm in. It is not an excuse for failing, if it is the reason for failing. The reason why I failed, is what I described. Now, you can blame me for having the weakness that I Have with organization but that's stupid. I'm not to blame for that. I'm aware of my weakness. If I'd have known what they'd do then I wouldn't have relied on them.
The reason you failed is your own actions... NOTHING anyone else did or didn't do. Time to act like an adult and face the facts. YOU are the reason you succeed or if you fail in life... nobody else.Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
You're just dishonest. I didn't say that by talking to people in university I figured out evryhthing and can make a fortune. If you look at the context, you said you've hired people before and can see I'm a BSer by which you obviously mean that I don't know the subject of my degree. You said how on earth would I know that people on the degree weren't well prepared for the workplace, I said by doing 2 years of the degree and talking to people on it. I never claimed to know "ALL" you are silly and just not having an honest discussion. And memorizing a vocabulary list? What on earth has that got to do with anything. Have you done that? I haven't. Not being able to use words? Are you saying I can't use words? Is this the extent of your hiring skills? Testing peoples' vocabulary!! I said you should know their field and question that. You seem to be proving that you're useless at hiring people and just BSed yourself and got lucky.
I know more about my situation than you joypulv, and I was doing well on my degree. I got As in some modules people consider hard, I'm not an idiot like what you write suggests. You don't need to tell me that there are people with aspergers that can do stuff. Sure there are things people can do and things people can't do. I'm not somebody that is useless with everything and just has a skill in numbers. I know what I can and can't do better than you know what I can and can't do. Don't assume that I'm not working on improving my situation. It's not a quick process.
I am not a fool like what you write suggests, or if I am a fool, I am not such a fool as to treat you people as some kind of authority on what I do or do not know in my field. You think I should dance around trying to prove my knowledge to you? Who do you think you are? And what have I or you to gain from it? Maybe you'll gain self esteem. But I won't, I'm not a child.. You seem to be very patronizing and wrong in your assessment if you think I should prove myself to you. For what? Who are you, what is your expertise?
Sounds like you're just jealous and incapable of seeing from another position.
How do you know how easy it was for me to do the degree with or without living near uni?
Tell me what's the difference between a reason and an excuse?
It's an excuse if regardless of that I'd have failed the final year. What do you know to make that judgement?
I feel for you, to an extent. I used to have a friend like you (used to). She was extremely privileged her whole childhood and half of college. Her parents told her they would pay for her education and then her senior year, they (as you and she would put it) "pull the rug from under her". And boy, what a life-ending event that was for her. Truthfully, though I could hardly stand the childish, spoiled rants she would have about her "unfair" parents-I could kind of understand her point of view. She was raised in a world where everything was handed to her, never taught the value of a dollar, never taught a THING about responsibility. When her parents realized she was so spoiled and needed to grow up-they took everything away from her (they paid her rent and tuition and gas money and cell phone bills at 21 years old... sheesh). Well, no wonder people like you are so delusional. Yes, delusional. You were never shown responsibility and when the real world hits you in the face it's a big deal.
Well, guess what? It's reality. Now you need to take care of yourself. Sink or swim. So, what are you going to do about it?
You have no right to sue your parents. You may be mad at them and feel entitled to something but legally they owe you nothing. So, throw a tantrum like a petulant child or STAND UP, brush off your pants, and move on. You're an adult now so prove it to yourself and your family.
I understand you have a disability, so use the resources you have. People with disabilities have a lot of resources in education and you should take advantage of every single one.
Stop whining. It does nothing to resolve the situation you are in now and it certainly does nothing to gain anyone's respect-most of all your own. If you respected yourself and had half the faith in yourself that you try to exude, you wouldn't be having this conversation with us right now.
Carry on!
I have read this thread over and over, but yet am unable to understand the question.
How have your parents "pulled a rug from under your feet" and somehow impeded you in your efforts to complete your studies?
By paying for a flat you didn't use? So, if you didn't use it, presumably you lived somewhere. Were you incapable of studying where you were living? Do you imagine you could only have studied effectively somewhere else; a place which they refused to let you have? Again, I don't understand what you are trying to say.
And you say something about your grandfather attempting to help you financially. Again, what does this have to do with the price of potatoes in Peru?
What country do you reside in?
Cauin, your grandfather supplied money for you to go to secondary school and to have housing off-campus and out of your parents' home. The financial matters were arranged through your parents, notably, your mother.
Your previous housing closed and you needed new accommodations. Your parents found you an apartment that was not where you wanted it to be. So you didn't move out of their home.
You had to commute to school and due to your own inability to cope (slightly autistic isn't an excuse when you get into higher education and life) you failed your classes and didn't graduate. Now you blame your parents for you not getting a job because you have to explain why you didn't get a degree.
I highly doubt your inability to get a job has as much to do with your lack of degree as it does your lack of coping skills. In a job, you can't ask your employer to tell you in advance every move he/she is going to make. As someone who claims to have a disability, you have to work harder to cope. You have to work on ways to be more organized. You have to develop skills that it appears you are lacking.
Your housing and your educational expenses were supplied as per the agreement. You didn't do your part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
Really... You are clued in to the fact that everyone is laughing AT you right now... not WITH you?
And it's clear what a success YOU have turned out to be... can't even finish college and talking about suing your own family because you are a loser.
And you have the balls to say that to me... who has already achieved far more than you have ever dreamed of. I've lived on the Italian Riviera for several years... where I could look out my window onto the beach and Mediteranian Sea. I could still be there if I wished right now. In fact, I will be there this summer. You will be exactly where?
I guess its true... when you aim for the bottom, you won't be disappointed when you get there.
You know... if someone like you... and there is a type... crossed my path at a job interview... you'd never make it past the first interview. Because I take great pleasure of weeding them out. And even if you was smooth enough to get through the interview... you wouldn't last long. Its really not hard to get rid of someone after they are hired... union representation or not. Even IF they can do the job. Stir up trouble and EVERYONE is aiming to take you down. And you will make mistakes, everyone does. Only what will get overlooked for others... won't be overlooked for you when they want a reason.
No... it is an EXCUSE.
The REASON you failed is because you did not do what you needed to do to pass.
Your PARENTS have nothing to do with that, unless they were holding you prisoner in their home.
I seriously hear from students like you EVERY SINGLE TERM. It's NEVER their own fault that they failed---they always blame it on someone or something else.
Guess what? It IS your fault. You have to take responsibility for that before you can grow up.
By your reasoning, the "reason" why you are not the super rich like Donald Trump is because you didn't do what you needed to do to do that, so you are to blame, it's your fault. The flaw in that reasoning of yours, is indeed, it's true, that if I had done certain things, it'd have worked out, and if you'd done certain things, you'd be the next donald trump. But you have to be aware of what you can and can't do, and take that into consideration. And I did.
If it was so easy for you... WHY didn't you finish it??Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
Here's my input...
In your original post you said, "and even going for a job interview would be a nightmare because I have to relive it explaining them why I don't have a degree"...
I can tell you one thing for sure, Cauin, I know that if you have 10 degrees and go into an interview explaining why you are unhappy with things and you blame your parents/family like you have here, YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING ANY JOB, OK?
I think everyone here has really tried to help you. Take notice of the information presented and spend some time reflecting on you as a person.
Good luck!
Mark
By your reasoning smoothie, the "reason" why you are not the super rich like Donald Trump is because you didn't do what you needed to do to do that, so you are to blame, it's your fault. The flaw in that reasoning of yours, is indeed, it's true, that if I had done certain things, it'd have worked out, and if you'd done certain things, you'd be the next donald trump. But you have to be aware of what you can and can't do, and take that into consideration. And I did.
Lame... lame... lame.Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
YOU are a major success exactly how... where, doing what exactly? Because until YOU have actually gotten your own place and supported yourself... you are in no position to be judging who is and isn't a success.
Its YOU that's been whinning about everything being your parents fault when its YOU that's screwed up everything that's been handed to you on a silver platter.
That's reality... its not reasoning. Life is reality based. You don't REASON with physics, you don't REASON with life... you deal with it on its terms. And you are NOT in any position to dictate those terms.
Bill Gates can to a degreee, Donals Trump can to a dergee, but they earned that right via their success. YOU however have earned none of that... you take what you are offered and you make what you can of it. Maybe you can create a Lemonaide Empire... or you can sit there crying about what the hell you are supposed to do with the lemons life offered you.
The summary of that story is YOU are responsible for your choices... make the worng ones you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Please tell me, cauin, how you know you are an Aspie. I haven't seen evidence of it in this thread.
You interpret things in odd ways. I'm not saying I'm a success and you're a failure.
Should I have scanned the diagnostic report for you? Why do you think I have to prove it to you? You obviously think I'm very stupid, but obviously not stupid enough to be doing that.
Comment on Wondergirl's post
should I have scanned the diagnostic report for you? Why do you think I have to prove it to you? You obviously think i'm very stupid, but obviously not stupid enough to be doing that.
Why the high dudgeon? I was merely asking how you know. Were you diagnosed, or did you decide somehow you are? Again, this thread doesn't read like you are.
I could have entered politics... but I had no desire to... I could have done a lot of things I have chosen not to do. I'm happy with what I have, because I earned that right. And I've never entertained the thought of suing my parents for anything... for any reason, ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by cauin
Could I have done something differently? Certainly... and that's true for everyone. But I made the choices and I live with them. Because I am the one that made them.
Like I said... stupid liberal arts classes in a college isn't going to help you "reason" with reality. Reality IS what it is. You don't reason with it, and in fact you CAN'T reason with it. You have to deal with it.
SO you made your choices (like everyone else)... and IF you really was dealing with it, then why are you talking about sueing your parents for something you had no right to expect in the first place. Only a loser would sue their parents. YOU got a lot more from your parents than a lot of people did... you should be thanking them instead of blaming them.
Some parents would have packed your bags and pushed you out the door on your 18th birthday, a few wouldn't have waited that long. You should count your blessings you have the parents you do.
You aren't in a position to negotiate anything... that is a right that earned after you have earned the right to be in a position of power. As it is you have nothing to negotiate with... you have to take what is offered you until you do. YOu can't negotiate effectively unless you have something of value to someone else to bargain with... right now you don't. You likely will sometime in the future however.
I suppose you think a 20 something fresh out of school is worth the pay of someone that's already been doing a job for 30+ years. Because its almost like they teach that concept in college for some reason.
You are ABSOLUTELY correct! Ding ding ding! I am not rich like Donald Trump because I didn't make the same sacrifices he did to get there. It's NOT that I'm not rich like Donald Trump because I'm not 6'2" and male.Quote:
Comment on Synnen's post
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By your reasoning, the "reason" why you are not the super rich like Donald Trump is because you didn't do what you needed to do to do that, so you are to blame, it's your fault. The flaw in that reasoning of yours, is indeed, it's true, that if I had done certain things, it'd have worked out, and if you'd done certain things, you'd be the next donald trump. But you have to be aware of what you can and can't do, and take that into consideration. And I did.
You didn't pass because you didn't make the sacrifices you needed to do in order to do so. The reason you didn't pass is NOT because your living arrangements changed.
See the difference? In MY version---YOU are responsible for your OWN failures. NOT your parents.
I asked about your being an Aspie simply because I'm wondering if your parents wanted you to have your own apartment (rather than live with them) and begin to be independent from them.
And how much more uni is left for you? Could you finish, even through online classes or independent study? In this country, the U.S. there are a lot of helps for Aspies, from tutoring to coaching of all kinds. Have you checked into that sort of thing where you live?
I feel that any education a person receives CAN help them immensely in many ways. I learned an extremely valuable interpersonal lesson in a Victorian Literature class that had nothing to do with the class.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
The key is that a person has to WORK for what they learn. I don't mean merely paying the fees to go to the class, but actually squeeze that experience for all it is worth both in the books and the people with whom you are learning.
Some people just don't understand that getting what they envision requires sacrifice and *gasp* hard work!
I agree an education is a good thing... but there ARE worthless waste of money classes... many of them in fact. Anyone that has seen a list of available courses at a University, particularly the bigger ones can pick a lengthy list. A class that discusses the hidden meaning behind Brittney Spears songs is one example.Quote:
Originally Posted by southamerica
And you can't get more out of it than you put into it. Its one thing to pass a course... and its another to walk out of it with a mastery in what it taught.
Wait just a minute, Smoothy.
It's getting off topic, so let's discuss it elsewhere after this, but MANY classes that seem worthless to you actually do have a purpose in a LIBERAL ARTS education.
The problem is that there's a huge difference between a liberal arts education (which teaches you how to think and reason) and a career education (with many specific majors like law, medicine, engineering, and business) that tell you WHAT to think. Liberal arts are more (ahem) liberal with their electives. Career majors are slowly ELIMINATING electives, and that's actually a huge problem in education.
But again---a discussion for a different board.
The first two years at a Liberal Arts college are completely worthless. NO amount of teaching me "how" to give a speech is going to stop me from wetting myself every time I have to give a presentation at work.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Sorry, Synnen, we posted at the same time. This is a different discussion for a different board and we should focus on the question on hand.
Or getting up there and muttering like an idiot because you are scared and can't think straight.Quote:
Originally Posted by southamerica
Well the OP has in fact been all over the place themselves... beyond the scope of the original post.Quote:
Originally Posted by southamerica
And in 8 pages they still don't see the error of their original comments.
I'm thinking he was conditioned to live in a fantasy world with no responsibility and now it's his time to step up and learn how to live in reality or be lost forever. Personally, I'm rooting for him to learn from this experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
My friend whom I was talking about earlier is pretty much a goner because she couldn't understand what personal accountability was. Sad.
I think that's a fair assessment. I've known people that grew up too coddled, without learnig responsibility and duty... and grew into adulthood without understanding those concepts actually thinking they were owed these things.Quote:
Originally Posted by southamerica
Some parents DO in fact, do too much for their kids sometimes which denies them the chance to learn important life lessons. And unprepared to deal with life.
Yup-as hard as it may be for parents-I think it's valuable to let your kids crash and burn and learn.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Suing the parents because they coddled too much? Oh dear.
Certainly. At least two purposes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Synnen
- to keep the professor employed; and
- to keep the students occupied while they are waiting for their degees.
You missed one...Quote:
Originally Posted by AK lawyer
▪ to line the pockets of the university and help pay for the multi-million dollar Salaries of the College presidents
I just came into this thread, and read all the pages. Whew, what a chore. My head hurts from banging it repeatedly on the desk.
Cauin, read all the posts made on this thread. Count how many people posted on your thread. Did one of those people tell you you're right? Did anyone say that you're entitled to sue? Did anyone tell you what you want to hear?
I'll save you some time. Not one person agrees that you have a case. Not one person thinks that it's your parents fault that you didn't graduate. Every person that posted has confirmed that it's your fault. I agree with them.
So, do you really think all the people that posted on this thread are just against you, out to get you? Or, could it be that they're telling you the truth?
I know it's not easy hearing what you don't want to hear, being told that you're in the wrong. The fact is, you are the one to blame in all of this.
Instead of concentrating on all the imagined wrongs done to you, concentrate on getting your degree. Concentrate on learning to cope with your disability, because at this point in time, even with a degree, your attitude and your obvious lack of maturity will prevent you from getting a job. If you don't change, a degree really won't help you.
Before you come back with a scathing post, telling me I'm wrong, whining about all the things your parents didn't do for you, take a minute to remember that they did more for you then they were required to. Take a moment to realize that no one reading your thread agrees with you. That should be a huge wake up call.
It's amusing to read people saying they could have been donald trump if they'd made the sacrifices.. yeah right. People have limitations. You can't just do anything because you have 2 arms and 2 legs and something on your neck like Donald Trump. You should get real.
"liberal arts".. no. I probably did a better degree , in a better institution, than most of you.. well, 2 years of one anyway. Welcome to the real world. People can be more academic than you, and fail. And guess what. If you think they're stupid and every guess is that they did some rubbish degree, they are a BSer , well, when you're wrong on everything maybe you should look in the mirror. You're just somebody with common sense , a basic ability to make something of yourself, but no depth of thought, no intellect.
Unfortunately, I lack common sense for basic tasks.. but I can reason, which is more than many here.. that jump to the most silly conclusions.
I am not posting insisting that I do have a case to sue(as somebody seemed to think! ), I wanted to know if I did, and it became clear after the first few posts that apparently I do not, nothing to do with ideals. I'm not going to insist on it if the law doesn't cover it, what's the point? So a small minded person thinks that's what this discussion is about all the pages. Other topics have been discussed.
The truth is that a lot of you are deeply jealous that I was fortunate enough that my parents paid for me to do 2 years of my degree. When your parents paid for none. So as far as you are concerned, I had it better. And the fact that I am saying I was wronged, makes you bitter and jealous. And scoff at how I failed with all that "help". If you could think more deeply, you'd see things more clearly.
If my parents had done nothing for me, and SAID SO. Then I would have worked first, then done the degree. It'd have taken more time but my life and CV wouldn't be in pieces. In my area people rely on their parents and yes it can mean you get their quicker, and if they hadn't pulled the rug I'd have had a shot at the final year and might've done it as I'd done the previous two. And then if they'd pull the rug then when I'm not relying on them, then fine.
Or if they'd pulled the rug BEFORE I got onto it. Like before the degree.
This is all beyond the minds of the bitter people here that just see somebody from a more privileged background than them. And if I can say I was wronged, then how much more so you. In your small-mindedness, you think that. As I said. If they'd pulled the rug before I got onto it, that'd be better than pulling it when I was on it. It's not about -comfort-..
I lived on about 10 bucks a week, eating very poor, because I was paying all the money they gave me into paying off a debt. They pretty much said once that money is no problem for them, and they could afford a lot, but asking them for money was a big problem for them, so I did live very poor. You probably ate better than I did if you were ever students. It really doesn't work how you think it does. A lot depends on the relationship and understanding that you have with your parents. And problems in that are down to the parents too. And to what extent varies.
It is possible to -try- to better oneself without saying "IT IS ALL MY FAULT" when it isn't. If you could see a bit deeper, you'd see that.
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