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The only "rights" grandparents have is to intervene when the parent is a drug addict and exposed or physical abuse occurs to the child. Grandparents rights/ visitation, at least in Wisconsin, is granted ONLY if visitation is outlined in the original biological parents divorce decree. Like gun control, politicians have never been a victim of their own laws and until they are, these laws will not be changed.
emtfingers: I wish that was the truth about my state. They seem to think if there is a divorce or a death... The parents have NO say so weather the grandparents should have there own visitiation... I wish for my case there was a flat out "no" enless the child was in danger!! Please let me know of any advise for my case, as our court hearing will be this summer. I fully intend on getting the media involved... get this stuff known to the world. Cause these "grandparent's" that aren't good, are taking advantages of the laws for there own control and power against there kids. Not good for the kids that get tossed in the middle of it all!!
Grandparent rights are gaining steam thruout the US. I don't know about Wisconsin, but intervening when there is a danger to the child from their current guardians is an OBLIGATION, not a right. But such an intervention would involve reporting the problems to the local social services agency. Not taking contorl of the children.Quote:
Originally Posted by emtfingers
I am currently in dispute with my son and DIL (from HELL) concerning visitation with my granddaughter who will be living with them for the first time. She has been living with her mother in Missouri, but will be living with my son for the next year. I have spoken to a lawyer and was told that in the state of Louisiana grandparents do have visitation rights and I can expect to get her at least one weekend a month. So I do plan to pursue filing a petition and taking legal action for the sake of my granddaughter. My advice would be check with a local attorney. I found one that did not charge me for the first consult.Quote:
Originally Posted by mo1
There are a lot of important issues that are being ignored in some of these comments. First, there are really two very different situations that arise regarding grandparents. One is the event of a divorce where conflicts between parents create breaches with in-laws. The other is one as mentioned above where the grandparents literally have been doing the parenting, including support, where the parents clearly were not competent parents in the first place. In both cases the issue of the child's development should be the primary issue. A divorce is traumatic for children. It's an adjustment and it should not be made more traumatic by a sudden separation from any family member on either side that the child has a bond with. Children need love and support from an extended community beyond their parents. Divorces include custody and visitation settlements, but children should not be subject to additional personal losses by suddenly being deprived of the love of other family members. It's odd but I don't see any concern in these comments for the seriously negative impact of suddenly being deprived of the love of an important parental figure in a child's development. In cases where parents clearly are not prepared to even support their child financially, they are neither prepared for effective parenting. In these cases that child's developmental needs are being met by the grandparents, not the parents. In the case discussed here, the mother is actually a dependent herself. When she broke off from her mother, she did not do it out of concern for her child's welfare, she did it because her personality demanded she not be reminded that she owed anybody anything. This breach is at the expense of that child's development, sense of family and sense of security. It creates confusion and loss in a child. The child's developmental needs have never been met by the parents, and there is no reason to expect them to be so in the future. In my case, I made a similar mistake. I consider this a mistake because in the end I misjudged my own son's character. I was subjected to a virtual assault as a result of my refusing to go along with a continual pattern of abuse and neglect of my grand daughter. Both parents made a very big show about us all being a family until my financial condition prevented me from continuing the kind of support I had been providing since the child's birth. In fact this was a very carefully orchestrated scheme by a very organized faction of criminally minded people affiliated with a gang, whom my son apparently has fallen completely under their influence and control. Clear signs of abuse were identified in a physical examination by a physician and my grand daughter was taken from my home violently to prevent further investigation. People seem to miss the big point here. My grand daughter called her mother "sister-mommy" because she knew herself she was not a mother. She had no connection to the child's needs and in fact sadistically punished her for even behaving like a normal child. Her father she called by his first name. She called my home, her home. It was the only place she was allowed just to be a child. They were very secretive for years and created a very intentional deception, but all they were after was money to pretend they were something they were not. I thought my son and I were as close as a father and son could be. So I lost my grand daughter and my son. The mother I always knew got pregnant on purpose to be supported and was pretty transparent. But I did not realize she completely controlled my son. So the point is, these people are in a very dangerous gang and sooner or later they are going to be arrested. In the mean time my grand daughter is being sadistically abused and neglected, and deprived of a very profoundly important relationship to her development. She called me "The Dad." I did not try to take over, I tried to help the parents learn to be parents. They were not interested in that. This child was under so much distress that she was referred to mental health treatment by her pediatrician at the age of five. She is afraid of her mother. She has terrible frightful nightmares nightly, even migraine headaches. Her childhood has been destroyed and fractured. But she also talked to me, and that's why I can't see her anymore. Because I am the only person she trusts to talk to about how she really feels and what is happening to her. So, when her parents are eventually arrested, my grand daughter will be thrown into foster care. Nobody seems to actually comprehend that living with two people who are actively involved in violent criminal activities is not in the child's developmental interests. I have to look at pictures of her on Facebook being hugged by a gang banger with a 200 lb pit bull, absolutely terrified with a phoney smile put on to please her mother who thinks this makes good propaganda and shows her daughter is happy or something. The mother did not even have shoes when that baby was born. She followed my son to college out of state with closets full of dresses and high heeled shoes and helped him squander his financial aid partying. Of course this was kept a complete secret until she was about to have the baby. My son made overt application for me to be a part of the child's life forever. I was there when she was born. Nobody else was. The whole thing was a racket, and it was not so much at my expense as it was at the child's expense. My grand daughter always considered her family to be, of course, mommy and daddy, grampa and uncle - my son's brother. His brother and I made a huge effort to give this child a sense of family, when the parents were incapable of doing so. Now she has been ripped away from half of her primary family. That's the case that is being missed here. All across this country, there are children desperate for adoption. In these cases, the social services involved recognize even for the importance of some children to maintain close contact with former foster families if they are actually become bonded to them. They understand the importance of siblings being adopted together. They know that children absolutely cannot be stripped away from anyone they have "adopted" in their developmental years as a parental or primary family figure. They need those people in their lives to grow into healthy adults. Why is it, simply because grand parents step in where foster care is a probability in the first place, and suddenly these same principles do not apply. Constitutional provisions about parental rights were directed at traditions that don't even exist anymore for the most part; that is, wealthy patriarchal families concerned about their multi-generational survival and long standing traditions which gave elders a great deal of authority in families. That is hardly an issue anymore. The issue is, the children's development and sense of family. In these cases the children do not have a chance to speak. At least in a divorce they do. So, in effect, it's the child's rights that are being violated. Which comes to the present point in my case, because the major problem is the mother thinks a child is a piece of property, not a life. I have been told even by the child's preschool teachers how important it was for me to stay in close contact with this child, that it would be a terrible thing not to. Aside from family stories, a grand parent can be a lot more, if the parents are simply incapable of filling a truly parental role and have no concept of a child's developmental needs. For one thing, sadistically abuse people are manipulative and secretive and children are taught that they will be hurt if they talk. They are further brainwashed to believe that the treatment they are receiving is okay. More often than not, children are ripped away from loving grand parents to cover up abuse. There really is no other reason, is there? Even if there is not outright abuse, the parents we are talking about have never demonstrated any interest, inclination or talent for parenting in the first place, and breaking with the grand parents is simply a way to avoid accountability and responsibility, a propensity for which is already well established.
I didn't read your whole post--but apparently you didn't read everything either, or you would have noticed the DATES were nearly 3 years old.
This thread is CLOSED.
If you want to discuss grandparent rights, then start your own thread.
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