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Originally Posted by GemzB

I need to emphasize my question was written poorly and in context sarcasm was used lol some ppl dont recognize that! 1man the bio-dad. End of story! I didnt sleep around, didnt hurt anybody just got a bad turn of events turn good.

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Unfortunately that's not the story you told at first. There was no sarcasm, you claimed you were confused as to who the father was. You wasted our time and yours.

Bottom line here, is if your husband to be wants to adopt, you will have to identify the father and he will have to agree to the adoption.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Unfortunately that's not the story you told at first. There was no sarcasm, you claimed you were confused as to who the father was. You wasted our time and yours.

Bottom line here, is if your husband to be wants to adopt, you will have to identify the father and he will have to agree to the adoption.

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Ok if I wasted your time than this is of no concern to u! I didn't ask you specifically and Im not perfect so thank you so much for your input but frankly I ask for advice from an unbiased opinion. Not someone who goes out of their way to attack someone on their dilemma.

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Originally Posted by GemzB

Ok if I wasted ur time than this is of no concern to u! I didnt ask u specifically and Im not perfect so thank you so much for ur input but frankly I ask for advice from an unbiased opinion. Not someone who goes out of their way to attack someone on their dilemma.

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First, when you post something on a board like this you open yourself for comments from anyone who wants to comment. Next, no one attacked you. I simply pointed out that you wasted all our time by not giving us the true story. That's just the simple fact.

Finally, I gave you advice, good advice based on the facts you related.

One last point, this site does not permit texting abbreviations. We type in full words and sentences here.

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Originally Posted by GemzB

No secrets, no regrets. I dont need support, ive gptten along just fine without it and I know that requesting it entitles bio-dad to have half the rights to my son... lets face it though why is it fair for a man to take off without a notice and come back after 2 yrs and no support whatsoever, be able to come as he pleases to see my son. Hes not on the birth certificate, no one is, and my bf is intending to adopt my son when were married. I think I covered it all... sorry to everyone if I seemed covert but this is a first time public question.
Thanks all!

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Your living in a fantasy if you think that by getting child support entitles him to something. By being the birth father he is already entitled and has rights to the child. He simply has to go to court to establish them. If the courts find out that you have kept the child hidden as you have already admitted to here then you actually stand a good chance of losing custody. You need to tell him ASAP that he may be the father of the child and allow him to go through what ever process he needs to participate in his child's life whatever level that may end up being.

The time to tell him is now.

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Originally Posted by GemzB

I dont need support, ive gptten along just fine without it and I know that requesting it entitles bio-dad to have half the rights to my son...

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How do you know this? Because, as califdad posted, its not true. Support and custody issues are generally kept separate. Filing for support does not automatically convey rights on the father and his filing for rights doesn't automatically mean support. What gives him rights is biology. Since his sperm contributed to the birth of the child he ALREADY has the same rights to the child as you do. The only difference is he would need to go to court to enforce those rights.

And as I previously noted, if you want your fiancé to adopt once you become married, you will have to contact him.

Bottom line is you made a mess of things and its going to be messy to get it fixed.

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Originally Posted by GemzB

Ok FTR
I had sex with 1 guy got knocked up n he dissapeared up until a few weeks ago. I met my fiancée when my son was 81/2 mnths n hes been in my sons life everyday since. ...

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I left out the defensive attitude - anyone who cares can read backwards.

OP is here to argue and then changed the facts in order to put herself in a better light.

I can't tell you the last time I heard "knocked up," particularly from an adult! This is an example of where people who are getting along "just fine" without support money should collect and put it away for the child's education.

At any rate, OP's not listening, only wants to argue.

Read backwards - ending story and starting story are 100% apart.

I think it's time to close - it's all been said... and then some.

(And I'd like to see where OP read that support = custody.)

Gem, no one is tarnishing who you are.

You started with this story;

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So I found out that I was wrong with my dates and the man I thought was the father, turns out isn't.. I know who the father is but he has no idea that he may have a son who is 2 now

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And now you've changed it to this;

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I had sex with 1 guy got knocked up and he disappeared up until a few weeks ago.

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1man the bio-dad. End of story! I didn't sleep around, didn't hurt anybody just got a bad turn of events turn good.

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No one was sarcastic. We gave advice based on what you wrote, then suddenly the story changed completely.

Bottom line, you said that your fiancé wants to adopt your son once the two of you are married. That can't happen without the bio dads consent, so if you want that to happen you will have to tell the bio dad.

I'm sorry that you feel bullied, but it's very hard to give advice based on a small amount of information, and then when the advice has been given, we've put in the time and effort, the story suddenly changes. Now we don't know what to believe, or if the story will change again.

We really can't read minds. We can only go by the info you give us. If you don't give the correct info, you won't get valid advice. I hope you can understand that.

I wish you luck, and I hope you make the right decision.

Three points.

1) No one is calling you names, so please don't resort to name calling. This is against our rules.
2) Also against our rules is using texting abbreviations. We type in full words and sentences here.
3) But most importantly, please don't try to turn this around and put it on us. The fact is you first told us one story, then changed it to a different story. Members spent time giving you advice based on one set of circumstances only to find that time wasted since the circumstances were different. Try looking at this from our point of view. If you don't like us reacting to your changing your story, you have only yourself to blame, since it was you who changed it.

P.S. Please do not create additional threads for the same question. Your other thread has been removed.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Three points.

1) No one is calling you names, so please don't resort to name calling. This is against our rules.
2) Also against our rules is using texting abbreviations. We type in full words and sentences here.
3) But most importantly, please don't try to turn this around and put it on us. The fact is you first told us one story, then changed it to a different story. Members spent time giving you advice based on one set of circumstances only to find that time wasted since the circumstances were different. Try looking at this from our point of view. If you don't like us reacting to your changing your story, you have only yourself to blame, since it was you who changed it.

P.S. Please do not create additional threads for the same question. Your other thread has been removed.

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Im done asking you for advice if you delete the other thread than do the same with this I'm tired of the petty resposes. Im done with this site. Im asking people in person not bullies on a site. Close this as well please

Again, you brought this on yourself so don't blame us. No one has bullied you and you have gotten good and accurate advice.

But I have asked that this be closed since both your questions have been answered.