Hey, TWINKIE: It's EXTREMELY easy for the money to add up rather quickly when the child support order is set at $5,200/month: for the calendar years, 2000 and 2001, the arrearage was $124,800 - which I "forgave her" of - I did the same with the calendar years 2002, 2003, and a partial 2004 with $140-plus thousand; and a third time for the calendar years 2005 and 2006. NOW... keep in mind, I haven't received a dime for 2007, 2008, 2009 nor 2010 - $5,200/month times 12 is $62,400 annually - multiply that times 3 - then add the $41,600 owed for 2010 and an outstanding $36,400 from the calendar year 2006 and you get a WHOPPING $265,200.00 American Dollars. And, to think I'm desperately praying the electricity isn't shut off next week!? Make sense??

No, it doesn't make sense - why did you "forgive her [of]" support on more than one occasion?

Tread #12 answers that JUDYKAYTEE - very shamefully I said, "fear"... maintaining custody has always been my number 1 focus - and, anytime the finances were a court issue, she has gone after custody with a vengeance!! You would have to read all the treads to understand a little more... thanks for the post.

Thanks for the advice but I did read all the "treads"/posts - I still don't know why, with the cost of a good college education as high as it, you would forgive that amount of arrearages. I don't think this falls in the category of awesome parenting skills.

Fear? She can come at you for custody at any time. Paying or not paying, forgiving or not forgiving, does not guarantee she won't.

If you are so interested in maintaining custody why don't you drop the support issue altogether now?

I don't understand your thought process - you were afraid she would go after custody with a vengeance in years X, Y and Z but now it doesn't matter?

Nope. It doesn't matter NOW. Our oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 14, and 15 - and, she has lost all physical custody with the exception of (2) 1-week visits per year, which must be completed in the city in which the children and I reside - and she is allowed NO OVERNIGHTS. In addition to that I hold in my hands the most extensive Child Custody Evaluation completed thus far - simply because, at this age, ALL children participated in it and their voices weighed heavily.

That being said, over the years, the children were never starving - I maintained a $50,000/year income in education so they were always well-cared for, by me, in every area of life.

As far as your judgement of "awesome parenting skills" - the children all maintain 3.4 or better grade-point averages, have never once been to a Principal's office, are responsible, mature, extremely well-mannered and are highly productive and involved as stand-up members of the community and our church. I would call that "successful parenting". THANK YOU!

I'm dropping out because I still don't understand your thought process. How you intend to put three kids through college on $50,000 a year is beyond me but... it appears that decision (to waive support) has been made.

I am interested in the evaluation in which your children participated and in which their opinions counted heavily - in NY they certainly can have an opinion but Judges very often go against those same opinions.

I wish you well.

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Our oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 14, and 15

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I thought you had 4 kids.

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I received primary physical custody of our 4 children.

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Alty, you beat me to it. Here's one quote: "I have a 10, 11, 13 and 15 year old."

Here's another: "Our oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 14, and 15 -"

They are aging at different rates and one has disappeared!

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Alty, you beat me to it. Here's one quote: "I have a 10, 11, 13 and 15 year old."

Here's another: "Our oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 14, and 15 -"

They are aging at different rates and one has disappeared!

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JKT - why do you think I sent you that PM in the first place?? I kind of guessed it right from the git go here.

I vote we close this thread, er, blog as the OP keeps skating around too much.

Sorry but I find it a little suspicious that you're owed a quarter million in arrearages having forgiven major arrearages in the past so many times.

If she makes enough to be ordered to pay this kind of child support to begin with there'd be no reason for you, as a school teacher to forgive that. Also, if so many arrearages were forgiven it seems to me that at some point even a really dumb attorney and judge would require that child support payments be taken directly from her pay moving forward through garnishment, which is kind of the standard for child support payments most places to start with.

Something about your story just doesn't make sense.

Also, the aging at different rates/disappearing fourth child is weird, as is the concept of 2 week-long visits that include no overnights... that's tricky.

Sorry, I forgot to add that... to make matters slightly more complicated - we also have an 18-year old NON-BIOLOGICAL - I consider him MINE as he was born weeks before we started dating. Unfortunately, because I never adopted him, he was removed from my care/custody at the time of the initial divorce - I only recently (since he turned 18 and moved from mom's house) began seeing him again - and, this time around, he was able to participate in the Child Custody Evaluation because it was HIS choice. In earlier evals, mom NEVER allowed him to participate and found his biological dad who also refused; therefore, the courts honored that. At 18, his words and participation were very helpful in this process. Furthermore, on our 13 year old turned 14 today.

I have to say, one of the most difficult parts of this case was the removal of the non-biological child from our lives - and I believe, it highly contributed to the children's issues they developed with their mom. None of them could understand why he was not allowed to come to our home. And, when they children visited mom in the early years, I believe this issue became heated and controversial within that household and the children ultimately developed a strong sense of bitterness because of it.

TWINKIE: I further vote we "close the tread" as well. I've pretty much bared it all here - possibly shared wayyyy too much information about my private life and those of my children. PLEASE DO CLOSE THE ENTIRE QUESTION, POST, AND ALL ITS SUBSEQUENT TREADS. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!

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we also have an 18-year old NON-BIOLOGICAL

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So you have 5 kids, or is it 4, or 3?

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I have a 10, 11, 13 and 15 year old

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And then

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Our oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 14, and 15

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Do you see the discrepancies? Do you see why none of this is making sense?

You don't seem to know how many kids you have or what their ages are.

That's why this thread should be closed. It's obvious you're not being completely honest, and without honesty, we can't help you.

Good luck.

Altenweg... I'm going to begin by saying that I have very much appreciated the comments - especially the very helpful ones - and those that sincerely gave advice - something I truly need at this stage. I appreciate that direction and wisdom - which is what I came to this site for; certainly NOT to experience a courtroom setting and have to prove to a group of people that I am telling the truth. Believe me, I've done enough of that over the past 10-plus years.

I simply did not mention the non-biological. My ex and I share 4 biological children: a 10 ; and 11 a now 14 year old , a 15 year old... and a NON-BIOLOGICAL, age 18 {BDates edited out-<>}

Again... I would like to thank those who have contributed greatly.

Thank you again for deleting this entire on-going tread of messages!

I don't see that it's been closed - as long as you keep coming back you will get responses.

It's like driving past a car wreck - hard to turn away.

If you think THIS panel is rough, wait until you get into Court.

JudyKayTee: I have been to court dozens upon dozens of times - It's NEVER been tough. With major preparation, with proper guidance, I've had incredible victories. It's interesting me though to see the handful of people that clearly operate in bitterness. I have very respectfully, asked my questions - very respectfully explained my situation - And, yes, I am returning to RESPECTFULLY request, once again, that this tread be removed by the forum moderators. THANK YOU, again, to all those who have genuinely given great advice and have shared their wisdom.

For a school teacher you don't seem to have a good handle on the real world and how to properly go about getting resolution on financial matters such as the two companies and not receiving a dime from either of them. If you really had attorneys over the years it would have been a simple matter to bring the contempt motion to the Judge's attention a LONG, LONG TIME AGO and you receive your proper share. What for bozo attorneys were you dealing with for them NOT to have gone after her for contempt? Am still shaking my head in disbelief on that one.

I'm sorry, but my opinion of school teachers is not that high as I've met some real doozies in my time that didn't have enough sense to step out of the rain or use an umbrella. And yes, I AM being nice here but that is my opinion.

I wish you had straightened out your posts before we here pointed out the many, many discrepancies you presented. We have handed out legal advice here many, many times on AMHD about child support problems and other family legal problems. JKT's been around the courts in different capacities, and Califdad has had lots of personal experience in child support problems as well. I was a paralegal in Florida and Ohio and worked in family law offices.

We would have been more than happy to help you if you would only ask honest questions.

If you have any questions, please ask them but please be honest, OK?

Twinkie... I have been COMPLETELY and WHOLEHEARTEDLY honest. If any of you are local, nearby me, I would be more than happy to show you my court documents, all the matter involving this case because I very sincerely and honest am seeking wise advice.

I mean absolutely zero disrespect to any of you or any of your life-experiences, etc. You have clearly resorted to bashing (now you're attacking teachers). You STILL do not know all the details of this 10-plus year case; therefore, your personal judgements are ridiculous. The fact that a Los Angeles Judge allowed a "move away" of more than 400-miles from the residence where the children grew up, attended school, and mom lived 2 miles from us was a HUGE victory in 2003 - I've experienced incredible victories. And, as I mentioned earlier, I'm sorry - MONEY was not my motive - caring for and protecting the children was. The fact that I wasn't ruthless when it came to finances is something I'm actually very proud of. But, the fact remains, that there are more recent arrearages and now I'm preparing to take steps to financially make advances. Again, respectfully, I thank all the great advice I've received from those who have truly been sincerely helpful.

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Originally Posted by Joshua209

JudyKayTee: I have been to court dozens upon dozens of times - It's NEVER been tough. With major preparation, with proper guidance, I've had incredible victories. It's interesting me though to see the handful of people that clearly operate in bitterness. I have very respectfully, asked my questions - very respectfully explained my situation - And, yes, I am returning to RESPECTFULLY request, once again, that this tread be removed by the forum moderators. THANK YOU, again, to all those who have genuinely given great advice and have shared their wisdom.

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Once again you have changed your tune. If you have it all figured out and it's all been easy and worked out for you, what are you doing here?

I would venture a guess that I've been in Court more in a month than you have in a lifetime.

And you are a teacher? You keep posting tread instead of thread as well as a few grammatical errors thrown in.

Once again - if you know it all, why are you here?

STOP POSTING AND THE "TREAD" WILL DIE.

I have asked that the tread be REMOVED. Again. If you are a moderator of this site, I've asked you to remove it. I did find the information I needed - I feel califdad, this8294, and Gem did an incredible job of sharing their wealth of wisdom - Judy and Twinkie have resorted to junior high, (look at all your grammar errors) petty, and extremely childish behavior. You should not in anyway be monitors of this site. You lack the character in which to handle yourself properly.

GEM... I am requesting for this entire tread to be removed. Thank you, in advance.