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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

That's a good site but as I said from the "top," this is a different situation because the loan is in her name.

I believe it's anyone's guess how a Court would order. This is not a case where "he" has simply purchased a ring and the engagement has been broken which is the "usual" scenario.

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JKT, I appreciate your posts as well as the others. All I want to do is keep the ring until he makes the last payment and then return the ring to him. I even offered to have a legal document drawn up reflecting that. He says that is "unacceptable" and that I have to leave the ring in Colorado. I say he is bullying me with his strong personality.

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Originally Posted by csc327

I appreciate and respect your advice. But HE was the one who broke the engagement and ordered me out of his house within 60 days. His only reason for breaking the engagement was that we are "incompatible." :confused:

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I think it is strange that he wants the ring back when his name isn't on the credit. Sure he made payments on the ring but I don't see how that makes it "his" regardless of who ended the relationship. If I were you I would just make the payments if he want to take you to court let him. I can't see a judge making you give back the ring or pay him back. But I could be wrong.

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Originally Posted by spitvenom

I think it is strange that he wants the ring back when his name isn't on the credit. Sure he made payments on the ring but I don;t see how that makes it "his" regardless of who ended the relationship. If I were you I would just make the payments if he want to take you to court let him. I can't see a judge making you give back the ring or pay him back. But I could be wrong.

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Your advice makes sense. I asked him the very same question that you just posed and his response was that he has already invested $4,200 in the ring and wants to have the diamonds set into a piece of jewelry for himself. If I wind up keeping the ring, it is going to be sold on eBay.

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Originally Posted by csc327

Your advice makes sense. I asked him the very same question that you just posed and his response was that he has already invested $4,200 in the ring and wants to have the diamonds set into a piece of jewelry for himself. If I wind up keeping the ring, it is going to be sold on eBay.

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I forgot to finish my previous sentence -- If he keeps making the payments, the ring will be returned to him. If not, the ring will be sold on eBay. That is the plan, contingent upon an attorney's advice.

Judy, If you were her Attourney, would you try to help her keep the ring, or would you charge her, go to court, and hope ring goes back to him as the Law states, Or would you try to help your Client?

Stratmando--

What you are missing here is that the question is too complicated to give a "yes" or "no" answer to.

Because laws vary by states and by local area, and because this is a contract with complications attached to it, I think the only REAL option is to go to court and get it signed, sealed, and LEGAL.

Your advice really isn't advice. Your advice has no bearing on the LAW, and your belief that attorneys are just out to screw you is a skewed belief. Many attorneys go into law so that they can HELP people.

Either way--I'd see an attorney about this entire situation, because an attorney (one you're paying to represent YOUR interests) is going to have a better idea on how the laws work in a specific area than any layman might.

I have been staying out of this one because it is a contract law not a family law matter. Honestly, you should go pay a lawyer in your area to tell you exactly what your rights are in that area I am not from CO so don't know those laws as well as I do my own states. You keep saying that you want to keep the ring and return it to him after he makes the payments. Do you really think you could make enough on eBay to cover the rest of the cost? You said he has been supporting you for the last three months why haven't you gotten a job to support yourself and not just used your credit card? Frankly, it really dosen't matter that the only reason he gave you for not following through with the marriage is because he felt you two were "incompatable" was very responsible because enough marriages end in divorce anymore if he could foresee that coming and stop it before it got that far great! This isn't a clear yes or no anser I could easily see it go either way.

The original poster is still here, still providing information, and still looking for answers.

I'm not closing this thread.

I am, however, going to delete any and all personal attacks that are NOT an answer to the original question at this point.

You're all adults. Act like it, please.

I would recommend transferring the debt and the ring to him. If his credit card company will not allow you to transfer the debt to his card (or a new one), then find a third party lender. Then it becomes between them and him, instead of between you and him. If they charge higher interest because of his poor credit, that's HIS problem.

That's a great suggestion, but unfortunately not an option because his credit is extremely poor and he has no available credit on his cards.

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Originally Posted by csc327

When I stated he was supporting me, I was referring to our rent and utilities. I live with him.

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Again - this is CONTRACT LAW. None of these details matter. Why he broke the engagement doesn't matter. It's broken but the ring was purchased in one name, paid for (this far) in another.

I know you don't want to hear it but you need an Attorney.

Agree that as long as OP is coming back and doesn't want the thread closed it should remain open - HOWEVER, the correct/accurate legal advice has been given (in spades) and anything else that is being posted simply complicates the main issue.

It's CONTRACT LAW.

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Originally Posted by csc327

Stratmando, I appreciate your kind words and willingness to help. I really don't think any judge would order me to give the ring back when OVER 50% is still owed on the ring. My good credit is the only thing that I have in my life right now that protects me. I have no family or support system. I am going to TRY to find an attorney so that I know the best course of action.

I couldn't care less about the ring -- it is my credit that is at stake, and STRATMANDO, I thank you for understanding my position. :D

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Understanding your position - and we pretty much all do - and giving you accurate legal advice are two different things. I would suggest that you check where people post, what threads they answer, before you believe/trust anyone, me included. High school students are posted "advice" in the past based on what they learned in Junior High. Likewise, auto mechanics could be posting on this board. Whenever anyone says, "I'm not sure," "I heard," "I don't really know but ..." run for your life.

This also opens up the whole question of why a $10,000 engagement ring when there is a poor credit history? In fact, there's a whole thread on this same subject. I think it's called something about whether an engagement ring is important.

Like you, I have a very nice engagement ring BUT my husband was a Doctor of Pharmacy and could well afford it.

This thread should be linked to any thread for anyone considering this same thing - my credit, your payments.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Understanding your position - and we pretty much all do - and giving you accurate legal advice are two different things. I would suggest that you check where people post, what threads they answer, before you believe/trust anyone, me included. High school students are posted "advice" in the past based on what they learned in Junior High. Likewise, auto mechanics could be posting on this board. Whenever anyone says, "I'm not sure," "I heard," "I don't really know but ..." run for your life.

This also opens up the whole question of why a $10,000 engagement ring when there is a poor credit history? In fact, there's a whole thread on this exact same subject. I think it's called something about whether an engagement ring is important.

Like you, I have a very nice engagement ring BUT my husband was a Doctor of Pharmacy and could well afford it.

This thread should be linked to any thread for anyone considering this same thing - my credit, your payments.

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JKT -- You truly are helping me, and I appreciate it. Per your advice, I am going to seek an attorney. We thought it would be okay to do it that way because I have good credit, and in his current situation, he is able to make the payments -- although every month when the payment is due, he hands me cash, and I make the payment in person at the Jeweler.

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Originally Posted by csc327

That's a great suggestion, but unfortunately not an option because his credit is extremely poor and he has no available credit on his cards.

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There are private lenders. As I said, you are not limited to his credit card. Even someone with bad credit can get a loan if they are willing to pay higher rates. If he wants to keep the ring, that's what he needs to do.

I agree with Judy that you should consult a contract attorney.

But basically if he wants to keep the ring he has to assume the loan. The alternative, as has already been stated, is for the two of you to sell the ring so he can be paid back. I personally think that will lead to more complications.

It's not reasonable for you have to assume the risk (of him not paying regularly). It's quite reasonable that you don't want to do that since you've already shouldered a big chunk of the risk in this relationship.

By the same token, it's totally understandable that he wants to be in possession of the ring if he is paying for it.

Transfer the loan to him. An attorney can help you do this and probably give you a lot of other good advice.

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Originally Posted by asking

There are private lenders. As I said, you are not limited to his credit card. Even someone with bad credit can get a loan if they are willing to pay higher rates. If he wants to keep the ring, that's what he needs to do.

I agree with Judy that you should consult a contract attorney.

But basically if he wants to keep the ring he has to assume the loan. The alternative, as has already been stated, is for the two of you to sell the ring so he can be paid back. I personally think that will lead to more complications.

It's not reasonable for you have to assume the risk (of him not paying regularly). It's quite reasonable that you don't want to do that since you've already shouldered a big chunk of the risk in this relationship.

By the same token, it's totally understandable that he wants to be in possession of the ring if he is paying for it.

Transfer the loan to him. An attorney can help you do this and probably give you a lot of other good advice.

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Thanks so much for your advice. This just might be the best resolution, and I'll definitely pursue this option. Would you please close this thread? I received the help I came here for.

Thanks to all for your time and willingness to provide valuable information.

Happy New Year to you and your families!

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Originally Posted by csc327

JKT -- You truly are helping me, and I appreciate it. Per your advice, I am going to seek an attorney. We thought it would be okay to do it that way because I have good credit, and in his current situation, he is able to make the payments -- although every month when the payment is due, he hands me cash, and I make the payment in person at the Jeweler.

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I understand and no one ever thinks that things won't work out - but if they don't... WOW!

What you've gone through really will (hopefully) help someone else. I'm sure some day you'll look back and be grateful you got out of the relationship but getting from here to there is difficult.

Nothing is a waste if you learn something.

Let us know how it works out.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I understand and no one ever thinks that things don't work out - but if they don't ... WOW!

What you've gone through really will (hopefully) help someone else. I'm sure some day you'll look back and be grateful you got out of the relationship but getting from here to there is difficult.

Nothing is a waste if you learn something.

Let us know how it works out.

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Judy -- Okay, will do, and thank you again for your time and advice. I hope the year 2010 brings you much joy and happiness.

Best advice sell the ring immediately, pay the loan off $5800.00 (assuming you can get that for the ring) dividing any remainder (debt/excess) and go your separate ways.

I agree with JKT, this situation will all fall in a Judge's hands as there really isn't going to be a precident for the situation.

Im going to jump in and say something after reading this ENTIRE thread. Maybe its from left field. But its going to cost more then $800 is my guess to hire a lawyer and battle it out if it goes there. Why not keep it simple. You could look into your local small claims court. Most have a $5000 limit. And they could settle the issue for you without lawyers. Once you have a decision then you will know how to proceed and your not out a lot of dollars. Plus you have a standing court order. This whole deal isn't rocket science. Keep it simple and try going that route.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Best advice sell the ring immediately, pay the loan off of $5800.00 (assuming you can get that for the ring) dividing any remainder (debt/excess) and go your seperate ways.

I agree with JKT, this situation will all fall in a Judge's hands as there really isn't going to be a precident for the situation.

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Funny thing just happened -- I had another heart-to-heart with my soon-to-be ex, and he has agreed to allow me to sell the ring. He's willing to take the loss of what he's paid thus far.