Again, you blame her and blame her. I have no idea why you ever talked to her but that's already done. Maybe she's a trouble maker; maybe your husband is a big prize worth the two of you fighting over. Maybe not. Hopefully you get beyond this and his children - all 3 of them - aren't scarred for life.

Lets assume that all you say is true... that she (the other woman) is an evil manipulator who tried to trap your estranged husband.

I absolutely do not understand, under any circumstances, why he would choose to abandon a child that is his, if it is.

If she's the trainwreck you think she is, that child deserves and needs the love and support of the man who created him or her.

To do less, I think, is morally bankrupt.

But maybe that's acceptable.

Being the stepfather of a child who was abandoned by her father as an infant, having seen her struggles to know her past, to know him, I guess I'm pretty biased. My daughter was conceived when my wife was a young single woman, in college, using birth control. It happens.

But my daughter deserves the love of both parents, and that he, your husband, would seek to relinquish his responsibility toward a child, not the woman, speak VOLUMES.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

lets assume that all you say is true... that she (the other woman) is an evil manipulator who tried to trap your estranged husband.

i absolutely do not understand, under any circumstances, why he would choose to abandon a child that is his, if it is.

if shes the trainwreck you think she is, that child deserves and needs the love and support of the man who created him or her.

to do less, i think, is morally bankrupt.

but maybe thats acceptable.

being the stepfather of a child who was abandoned by her father as an infant, having seen her struggles to know her past, to know him, i guess im pretty biased. my daughter was conceived when my wife was a young single woman, in college, using birth control. it happens.

but my daughter deserves the love of both parents, and that he, your husband, would seek to relinquish his responsibility toward a child, not the woman, speak VOLUMES.

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I believe they want to forget the child would even exist and move on with their so called happy lives, although they were on the brink of a possible divorce before all this came about. All he has to do his love and care emotionally and financially for his child as he does with his own children.

The right thing would be not to make him choose between you and his child. The way you phrase things, telling him he can have a fresh start with her and he can go to her if he wants, you say he dosen't want that. That's probably very true that he dosen't want an entire relationship with her however, he deserves as well as the child deserves the father daughter/son relationship. Rather than giving him altimatums maybe you could try supporting his being a part of his child's life. Him having a relationship with his kid isn't cheating on you or your kids.

I agree.

All that said, the child, if his, bears absolutely no burden toward the ignorance of the parents.