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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Actually the majority of states allow taping as long as ONE party is aware of the recording.

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How is that possible? That is like me calling someone and I know that the conversation is being recorded, but the other person does not know and they say something that is incriminating. Then it goes to court and the person never knew that the conversation was recorded and the evidence gets thrown out of court. That happened to me when I tried to use a recording of a conversation that my daughter's father and I had. Plus, why do the people at SBC have to read their disclaimer about how the conversation may be recorded?

Here is a site that explains the laws on making audio recordings
"Can We Tape?"

And the state by state laws
"Can We Tape?"

If it is on an answering machine like I said the person is well aware they are being taped other alternatives would be voice mail and the such.

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Originally Posted by ABehrens

You can't use a tape, if you have one of him saying that he is going to take the baby to Mexico, unless he knows that you were recording him. Just keep that in mind. You can use the answering machine though. Thanks.

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This is not legally correct - the "not using the tape unless they know they are being recorded" is not true in most States. It's an old wives tale.

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Originally Posted by ABehrens

How is that possible? That is like me calling someone and I know that the conversation is being recorded, but the other person does not know and they say something that is incriminating. Then it goes to court and the person never knew that the conversation was recorded and the evidence gets thrown out of court. That happened to me when I tried to use a recording of a conversation that my daughter's father and I had. Plus, why do the people at SBC have to read their disclaimer about how the conversation may be recorded?

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In NYS as long as ONE party knows the recording is being made it's admissible. For example, I could call you and tape the conversation. That's legal. One party knows - me.

I could NOT put a recorder on your phone without your knowledge and record you talking to someone else because neither party would know.

I'm an investigator in NYS - I hear this all the time. I cannot address other States without researching their laws but that's how it works. I don't know where you are.

And, yes, the person goes to Court and - surprise!

You are legally incorrect at least in NYS.

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Originally Posted by stinawords

If it is on an answering machine like I said the person is well aware they are being taped other alternatives would be voice mail and the such.

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Don't know what this is addressing exactly but, yes, anything said on an answering machine is admissible.

Also voice mail - but voice mail is often difficult to identify because the sound quality may not be good.

At one time emails were automatically thrown out - I see them accepted more and more.

E-mails... good one I didn't think about that but those are entered into court more and more in Indiana too and our phone taping laws are the same that one person has to know. I'm pretty sure that most states opperate that way but I'm sure there are still a few that differ (as always).

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

In NYS as long as ONE party knows the recording is being made it's admissible. For example, I could call you and tape the conversation. That's legal. One party knows - me.

I could NOT put a recorder on your phone without your knowledge and record you talking to someone else because neither party would know.

I'm an investigator in NYS - I hear this all the time. I cannot address other States without researching their laws but that's how it works. I don't know where you are.

And, yes, the person goes to Court and - surprise!

You are legally incorrect at least in NYS.

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Thanks for giving me the website. I didn't know that. It makes since though. Thanks!

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Originally Posted by stinawords

E-mails... good one I didn't think about that but those are entered into court more and mroe in Indiana too and our phone taping laws are the same that one person has to know. I'm pretty sure that most states opperate that way but I'm sure there are still a few that differ (as always).

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I am always somewhat nervous about e-mails because I think they can be forged. You show up with a print out, not your whole computer.

I actually investigated one that the client insisted she never sent and after talking to the other party who insisted she had received a series of threatening emails (which was what it was all about - and I HATE Defendant work but was there on behalf of the Defendant) I realized they were fakes from a very similar email address to that of the Plaintiff.

For example, instead of it being 123 it was l23. Getting the ID info from the carrier was up to the Attorney and I don't know if he ever did or if the case was just dismissed and that was the end of it.

Makes you wonder - of course, end of case.

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Originally Posted by stinawords

Do you have the threats of going to mexico on tape like an answering machine or something? You can use that in court and the judge will be more likely to only grant supervised visits. But as someone already said if you don't have a custody order then it will be next to impossible to get him back on the chance that he is taken to mexico. Also if he is ordered to pay and dosen't for a long period of time it can show up on his credit.

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No unfachanatly I don't. It was all just said at their house or what not. I've thought of that. I used to have recordings of him threating me on my phone, but having a child and a cell phone, I seem to go through them a lot.

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

you dont want his money, but it is not your money it is kadens money and i would enforce child support. it is kadens money

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Its not that I don't want the money, yes any money can help don't get me wrong.. but what's the point in enforcing child support when he isn't going to pay it. He gets ordered to pay it and then 3 years go by, state of Texas comes after him and throws him in jail for not paying, big deal. Jail time also means no money. So there is no difference. I did take him to court for child support once. But then I canceled it. But since kaden was on medicaid his father is supposed to be paying 50 bucks a month on that and he doesn't even do it. And when we went in for that they discussed visitation. So visitation does come with money and he will use every bit of it to his advantage just to piss me off. I had a father that did that to my mother growing up and I don't want my son to feel that his dad is obligated like mine was.

Not to sound harsh, which I will, it was your choice to have a child with this man maybe you weren't expecting a child but by having sex it is a chance you take just like everything else in life. If you go back to court to have support ordered and he dosen't pay then tax returns get intercepted for you, and yes he could be put in jail at least then you wouldn't have to worry about him taking him and running across the border. The fact is that at this point you have no case in trying to get a TPR. If the medicade continues to not be paid it can be cancled and the state will want an order of support or something in order to continue it because (as an accountant that has done much research on the governments funding) the country will go broke if they continue giving out money and not getting it back in. I don't disagree with having government insurance policies and food stamps and such its just fact that the taxes being taken in are almost less than what is going out and will only get worse as the rest of the "boomers" retire. So while I'm not trying to get off on a rant or anything I stand by everyone who said you have to go to court for support and try for supervised visitation.

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Originally Posted by stinawords

Not to sound harsh, which I will, it was your choice to have a child with this man maybe you weren't expecting a child but by having sex it is a chance you take just like everything else in life. If you go back to court to have support ordered and he dosen't pay then tax returns get intercepted for you, and yes he could be put in jail at least then you wouldn't have to worry about him taking him and running across the border. The fact is that at this point you have no case in trying to get a TPR. If the medicade continues to not be paid it can be cancled and the state will want an order of support or something in order to continue it because (as an accountant that has done much research on the governments funding) the country will go broke if they continue giving out money and not getting it back in. I don't disagree with having government insurance policies and food stamps and such its just fact that the taxes being taken in are almost less than what is going out and will only get worse as the rest of the "boomers" retire. So while I'm not trying to get off on a rant or anything I stand by everyone who said you have to go to court for support and try for supervised visitation.

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Yes I know consequences of having sex... but it is also a big surprise when your on birth control and don't really expect something like that to happen. I know there is a small percentage that you can still get pregnant. And I've lived up to my responsibility... and I'm taking care of my child. He's not, nor does he want to. He has already told me he doesn't care about my child what so ever... but he won't sign over his rights or leave me alone because I want it to bad. I've talked to the OAG's office several times, my child's medicaid will not cancel due to him not paying it. He will just get so far backed up that he is going to get into a lot of stuff he can't get himself out of.

Well, rather than trying to get his rights terminated because even if he agreed to it a judge would also have to sign off on it and because there is no one else to adopt and there is no evidence to him being a threat to the child you can't get why not just try dropping the subject. Just don't talk to his father maybe he'll stop trying to be involved (but if he does try to be involved it only makes his case stronger for the judge). Is it him that calls or comes over for visits or is it you that calls him? (I'm not trying to imply anything just needing to know before I type forever and have my facts wrong)
It is good to know that the medicaid won't be cancled because I have know of it to happen.

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Originally Posted by stinawords

Is it him that calls or comes over for visits or is it you that calls him? (I'm not trying to imply anything just needing to know before I type forever and have my facts wrong)

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No the only thing he does is text "hows the baby" when he was texting. But the last time I had contact with him is when he told me he didn't care anymore. It would mean a lot if he showed up to see his child. He knows exactly where I live... but he doesn't even bother.

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Originally Posted by kadensmommy

yes i know consequences of having sex... but it is also a big surprise when your on birth control and don't really expect something like that to happen. i know there is a small percentage that you can still get preg. and ive lived up to my responsibility... and im taking care of my child. he's not, nor does he want to. he has already told me he doesn't care about my child what so ever.... but he wont sign over his rights or leave me alone because i want it to bad. ive talked to the OAG's office several times, my child's medicaid will not cancel due to him not paying it. he will just get so far backed up that he is going to get into a lot of stuff he can't get him self out of.

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They will not cancel his medicaid because he is not paying child support. They will just go after him for the money, which is his problem, not yours. Remember that. Before I got on assistance from the government I thought about my daughter's father's future because I didn't want to ruin his life. But, it is not fair for you to take care of the child on your own. You were not the only one who decided to have sex. He needs to deal with the consequences of his actions, which is not paying child support. Just to let you know though, when he does start to pay child support, the state will take out the money that they provided to you while you were on assistance before you get your money from him. I am going through that right now. The state of California is going to be taking money from my child support (if I ever get any) to pay for the 6 months that I was on assistance before I will start receiving a payment, and it has been 3 years now since I was on assistance. I just don't want you to be shocked when it happens. When the DA in California told me that I was mad, but it makes since. Like stinawords said, the US can't keep giving out money without getting it back in return, you can kind of think of it as a loan the state gives you that the FOB has to pay back.

I can't get retro-active child support anymore since I canceled the first time. And I've also been told they can take it out of his check but, he works under the table. Its pointless for me to even try to go after him because I'm not going to get a dime.

In my state they cancel cash benefits but not medicaid or food stamps. But if you are making an effort to go after him then they will not cut you off the money.
I agree he needs to share responsibility. My ex got away with not paying anything for our four kids and we struggled for way too long. My kids are grown and on their own and I still feel the impact of him not doing his part when they were growing up.
When they work under the table and keep quitting work it is about impossible to do anything though.

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Originally Posted by kadensmommy

i can't get retro-active child support anymore since i canceled the first time. and ive also been told they can take it out of his check but, he works under the table. its pointless for me to even try to go after him becuase im not going to get a dime.

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I am in the same in my situation as well, I haven't received a dime in 3 years and I am not expecting to within the next 15 years. Just remember that Karma always comes back around! He will get his. That is how I sleep at night! Just be thankful for the gift that he gave you, which would be Kaden. Good luck with everything.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

My kids are grown and on their own and I still feel the impact of him not doing his part when they were growing up.

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Let me ask you this, do they look at him differently now that they are grown up? Did they regret him not being there growing up?

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

When they work under the table and keep quitting work it is about impossible to do anything though.

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He has already told several people that if I come after him with child support that he is going to say he isn't working. Plus he is supposed to be paying child support on his first child with a different girl. And she is only getting $250, so since Kaden is the second one he would get less than that.