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-   -   Mother hyphenationg child's last name with stepfather's name (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=35032)

  • Sep 24, 2006, 07:21 PM
    buckguy
    Mother hyphenationg child's last name with stepfather's name
    I recently found out that the mother of my daughter (we were never married) has been hyphenating my daughter's last name to include her new husband's. Even though we were never married, my daughter was giving my last name. I see her several times a week, talk to her several times a week, I have always paid child support to her mother (this is an agreed upon amount set by daughters mother and myself, we do not go through the courts for child support, custody and/or visitation), I provide all medical coverages and expenses, I pay for all of her school clothes, etc. I am very proud of my little girl and love her very much. It really feels like a slap in the face when I seen this hyphenation. It is hard enough to stomach the fact that there is another man raising my daughter. Lucky enough, he is a good stepfather. Does her mother have the right to hyphenate my daughter's last name if I never gave consent. We live in Ohio. My daughter is 8. Does my daughter have the right to decide how she prefers to legally sign her name? Is there a way I can put a stop to her hyphenation it? My daughter's mother says that my daughter wanted to have a last name like her sister's (half sister between mother and stepfather). I will be extremely grateful for any insight or guidance on this subject.:confused:
  • Jun 12, 2008, 03:29 PM
    ramie
    I found this question because I am a mother with a five year old daughter in the process of remarrying. I would like to take my new husband's last name but felt that if I did I would be somehow leaving my daughter out. Especially looking down the road at having more children in the future. My thought was, can I just hyphenate her name?? I completely understand how you feel but coming from the other side... what's a mom to do? My ex-husband is completely in the picture too and I'm not sure if he'll agree or feel the same way as you do/did. Here's the thing... I'm NOT getting rid of her father, I'm adding a father. All three of us work together to raise and support her and all three of us have one beautiful thing in common, her. As long as we stay focused on what makes her happy, we should be good. I just don't want her to feel left out and I don't want to make him feel that I don't want his name. So, if you're still online, would you mind sharing your feelings on the outcome of your situation?

    Sincerely,
    Ramie
  • Feb 3, 2011, 08:28 AM
    nanno
    I see my dad now and again but he does not support me. He is an alcoholic. My stepdad is great. I love the two of them. I want to have the same name as my two dad's . If anything happened to my mum I'd like to stay with my stepdad.have to go now talk later
  • Feb 3, 2011, 08:44 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nanno View Post
    ... i want to have the same name as my two dad's . ...

    Nanno, whenever you get around to asking your question, please start a new thread. Often we who try to answer these questions tend to read the whole thread only to find that it contains a lot of information which was posted by someone else years ago and is not useful to read.

    If you want to go by a hypenated name, you can just do it, provided that you are not trying to defraud anyone. Or, for official purposes, if the trouble and expense are not an obstacle, there are ways to "legally" change your name.
  • Jun 30, 2011, 10:41 AM
    realpa
    Buckguy, I feel u.
    I think women in general could be evil and selfish and don't care about the other parent when it comes down to topics like this.
    Legally I believe they can't do it.
    They can't change their name or either hyphenating which is sooooooooo disrespectful,doesn't mather if the step dad is in the picture or not. Is not about the kid feelings of being left out.
    The fact is simple.
    You are the father and because that. You are the name of your kid.
    If anybody is going through this or have knowledge about this topic please leave your opinion .
    Thanks

  • Jun 30, 2011, 11:50 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by realpa View Post
    ...
    if anybody is going through this or have knowledge about this topic please leave ur opinion .
    Thanks

    Realpa, that's not how this forum works. We are here to answer questions with accurate answers, not to provide a running discourse on things. If you have a legal question, ask it. But please don't clutter it with your personal opinions.

    As has been said in response to the original question asked almost 5 years ago, how the child or the custodial parent chooses to call her is not a matter that the courts are going to be concerned with, and the father really can't control that. The child's "official" name is unchanged.
  • Jul 1, 2011, 11:47 AM
    realpa
    Understood.
    So if the mother who have the custody of the child decides to add the new husband last name to the child.
    Is it legal to do that? Or the father's consent have to be made first?
    I am in a similar situation here:
    My ex is planning in getting married soon, she asked me if our daughter can hyphenate her new last name so in that way she,the newborn of them and my daughter, have the same name.
    That hurts me and it's very ofensive, I am in my girl's live, I am still in this STATE all by myself because I love my daughter and I have 42% of her time by the court.
    My concern is now that if she can or can not do that ?
    I don't want to because obviously she's MY daughter, no that new guy's daughter, after they get married he'll be stepfather probably but never the Father.
    How about if in the future my ex gets divorce??
    My girl have to have that guy's last name added?
    Makes no sense and is so selfish of my ex I think.
    Even though that my ex is brainwashing her right now.
  • Jun 8, 2012, 05:40 PM
    Okwellidk
    Realpa.. I 100% agree with you. My ex wife just got married and is telling my kids they can add his last name. It's very selfish and disrespectful. The father is the father. Woman just simply don't care. Also like you said if they get divorced then what? Then my kids have to deal with that as well. It's ridiculous. I would also like to know if this is legal because I will take her to court if not. I know she can't legally change my children's last names without my permission or she risks going to prison. I think it should be the same with hyphenating.
  • Jun 10, 2012, 06:21 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Okwellidk View Post
    ... I would also like to know if this is legal because I will take her to court if not. ...

    You want to know if what is legal? Telling your children that they can add the step-father's last name? Sure. As has been written here a long time ago, anyone can call themselves (or their children) anything, as long as it is not done fraudulently. This includes hyphenation.

    On the other hand, if your childrens' mother went to court to "officially" change a child's name, she would have had to give you notice of the proceeding.

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