Quote:

---

Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

Hmmm, I still don't see where she said it wasn't his to give. What is wacky about this whole thread is she asked if she should give the ring back when who gave it to her is long gone, can't be found and therefore the point of returning it is moot. Since that is the case, I think that would require a liquidation at the very least and all this has turned into a discussion on the pros and cons of that.

But if her current boyfriend or any future boyfriend is okay with her using it as their engagement ring, I can only say -- ugh! And I hope she sees that, at least?

But "old" meant two boyfriends ago.... sorry, I didnt see your post, Velvet. What about having it redesigned into a pendant or something as a compromise?

---

Ok Val, I was on a totally different path here, read post 13. Anyway, I have it now, sorry I guess I just didn't connect old with being a few relationships ago and now wondering what to do with it. I have the jest of the story now. Just call me an antique. HA

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by velvetjones

The question was just a general one. I was curious to see what people thought in general about the subject because I'd seen something recently on TV that brought this up.
My ring was not a family heirloom. It was a new ring, old relationship.
And yeah, there is no way I would use a pre-owned (don't you love that euphemism?) engagement ring. Ick.

---

It is not uncommon to pass a ring down from generation to generation. Not like buying it from a pawn shop.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by K_3

It is not uncommon to pass a ring down from generation to generation. Not like buying it from a pawn shop.

---

I think it's sweet and an honor to receive a ring or anything that way.

Baa... wrong answer... let me just be straight and frank... in this day and age the ring should be returned if you did the breaking up... and from what I have read, you are the "dumper"... abandonement issues should not be 'worked out' on other people... not fair... get therapy, fix yourself before getting involved in relationships that you are not fully able to engage in anyway... guys might say keep the ring... especially if you are breaking up with him... he will say this in hopes that there still might be a future... if you are leaving someone, don't break their bank while walking out the door...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MeanderingThoughts

baa... wrong answer... let me just be straight and frank... in this day and age the ring should be returned if you did the breaking up... and from what i have read, you are the "dumper"... abandonement issues should not be 'worked out' on other people... not fair... get therapy, fix yourself before getting involved in relationships that you are not fully able to engage in anyway... guys might say keep the ring... especially if you are breaking up with him... he will say this in hopes that there still might be a future... if you are leaving someone, don't break their bank while walking out the door...

---

Right answer for me. It was a gift, discussed before and after, we parted on friendly terms and it was the right decision for both at the time. You don't buy an object (ring, house, whatever) if it will "break your bank". That's just plain foolishness.