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-   -   Jstars00000 Story (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=532263)

  • Dec 6, 2010, 05:11 PM
    Jstar00000
    Jstars00000 Story
    All threads merged here.

    I'm scared I love boys but I find myself looking at a girls or their boobs and get shocked that I am and turn away does that mean I'm lesbian? I only think boys are hot but some times I think girls are better looking then me and so I stare at them jealously but I can imagine be in a relationship with them. I'm not against lesbians I think they are equal I just find it disgusting to see myself a one. I heart beats fast when a hot guy walks by but since I'm so scared. I know for a fact I don't want to kiss or date a girl. My mind plays tricks on me making me believe that I like girls but I don't can someone help me I'm desperately scared I do t want to be one

    I'm attracted to my own boobs does that mean I'm gay? I like touching them and looking at them
  • Dec 6, 2010, 05:26 PM
    Eileen G

    You don't sound like a lesbian to me. The biggest factor is that you like boys and have no interest in kissing girls.

    It's perfectly normal to look at other women and see how they look, and what you like and don't like about them.

    I suspect that you may not have had breasts yourself for that long, so you are naturally curious about them.
  • Dec 6, 2010, 05:46 PM
    albear

    Are guys gay because they like masturbating?

    Short answer no :)
  • Dec 6, 2010, 05:52 PM
    Jstar00000
    I have a low self esteme and it's rubbing off against my friends what can I do
    Some of my friends started to ignore me and so I started to think bad about myself. I started to feel bad about my 170 weight.. my best friend says I don't look my weight.anyway to get to the point. I thought people thought I was weird that Im ugly and fat. That I won't get a hot skinny guy because I'm fat. Ect. And that all my friends hate me. And because I think this some of my friends walk away. It's getting really hard not to think badly about myself since ibeen bullied all my life. I need help I don't want to cry about this anymore
  • Dec 6, 2010, 05:56 PM
    Wondergirl

    Bullying how?
  • Dec 6, 2010, 06:02 PM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Eileen G's post
    Thanks your comment helped me feel better
  • Dec 6, 2010, 06:28 PM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    People called me stupid because I have a learning disablity and they called me fat and worthless and during my middle school years everyone discluded me from everything so when I started high school I didn't know what's was cool or not.
  • Dec 6, 2010, 06:30 PM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    I lost my voice because I'm so scared what people might say and my new best Friend questions me why Don't talk sometimes.
  • Dec 6, 2010, 06:45 PM
    Wondergirl

    So how did you deal with and how are you dealing with the bullying? (Please use the Answers box, not the box, not the Comments box. You'll get more room to type.)
  • Dec 6, 2010, 08:07 PM
    Jstar00000
    Well I learned not to give up who I am as a person that's how I got through with it but now that some people are ignoring me in this different school I get this fear that the bullying will happen all over again even if I have wonderful friends and that I'm happy in that school.I'm guessing that fear on top of how I feel about myself is what giving me problems between the people around me.
  • Dec 6, 2010, 08:12 PM
    Wondergirl

    It sounds like you are trying to be very brave. How do you act toward others? How are your grades in school?
  • Dec 6, 2010, 08:18 PM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    I'm nice to others
  • Dec 6, 2010, 08:44 PM
    Wondergirl

    You know how it feels when someone doesn't treat you in a nice way, don't you.

    Have you ever talked with a teacher or another adult about any of this?
  • Dec 6, 2010, 08:56 PM
    Aleeravilu
    I'm a girl.
    I have fan-girls.
    I watch girls walking around me all the time.
    And sometimes I even want to hug them tightly.
    But am I a lesbian?
    No.
    I had boyfriendS before. And I love boys.
    Don't worry. It's normal to have feelings like yours, but that doesn't make you lesbian or anything.
  • Dec 6, 2010, 09:41 PM
    Aleeravilu
    Being fat isn't a crime. But it's not exactly healthy either. And by this I mean I think you should lose weights. Not because of those people. But for yourself.
    If you have any talent, don't be afraid to show it.
    If you have something to say, speak up.
    People only bully those who they think do not have either the pride or the strength to stand up for themselves. So you should keep your head up high (not too high though =.. =, you might get bullied for that too)
    I study in this luxury school where everyone is rich and wears fashionable clothes etc, and every move you makes is observed by a lot of people, but that doesn't matter, because to me, I believe this:
    "Be who you are and do what you want. Because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
  • Dec 7, 2010, 01:54 AM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Yes I have
  • Dec 7, 2010, 02:26 AM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Aleeravilu's post
    My friends say I don't look my wieght at all but I'll lose someweight so I can feel better about myself. And thank you so much for the tips! =). I feel better now thanks
  • Dec 7, 2010, 02:44 AM
    Jstar00000
    Do guys pay more attention to your looks?
    I'm overweight and I constatly get this worry that a hot skinny guy won't fall for me because around my area the guys get the tall skinny popular girls. I'm neither popular tall or skinny.I cry a about this often... I'm also very shy and I don't talk much but extreamly loving and caring. When I get shy or don't know people well I talk and ask general questions like hi what's new it's sunny today. I think guys would want a girl who outgowing and talks. I'm scared that a guy won't love me.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 04:08 AM
    pandead

    It's all about confidence really. As you get older, guys will be less shallow but for now, no matter how you look, when you don't trust yourself, people (not only guys) feel it.

    It shows in the way you walk, talk and the way you act around others. Try to overcome your shyness if you want people to notice you. Don't be scared around people, remember No one is better than you.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 05:56 AM
    Aleeravilu
    Comment on Aleeravilu's post
    No biggie, glad I could help
  • Dec 7, 2010, 06:22 AM
    Devorameira

    There are all types of preferences out there. Some guys prefer heavier women, some skinny minnies. Some people put too much emphasis on looks and not enough on the person. Panhead is right - it's just shallow.

    In your post, I noticed that you said you're worried that a "hot skinny guy" won't fall for you. Maybe you need to look beyond the exterior too.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 07:24 AM
    kctiger

    Sounds to me like you don't love yourself, or think very highly of yourself. If you have a problem with being overweight, why don't you do something about it? You deserve to be happy with yourself and you will never find someone to love you if you can't first love yourself.

    It isn't all about looks. I can't speak for all the guys in the world, but I love confident, driven women who know they NEVER need a guy to validate themselves worth. I think the key to your goals are to boost your own self confidence first.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 08:17 AM
    answerme_tender

    Your still young, and I can remember how important being accepted meant. Actually when you are looking for a potential partner it shouldn't depend on his looks. Take a closer look at how he presents himself, Im not talking clothes, does he appear to have confidence in himself without being cocky. Does he seem to be laughing and having fun with friends, without having to drink and be stupid. Integrity is a life long value that you should be looking for it will always be there, even under wrinkles and grey hair!!

    Its time for you to recognize your own worth, stop depending on what others standard are, the only ones that count are yours at the end of day. Stop sitting back, watching and wishing for something that is never going to just come to you like magic. You are going to have you do something about it YOURSELF! If you feel that your overweight, then get a workout buddy, if you feel your shy, take a class that will help you be able to speak in public atmospheres. Ask a school counselor for advice on how you can get started, you have to take those first foot steps yourself!!
  • Dec 7, 2010, 08:41 AM
    jmw0713

    If the guys you're after only care about looks, then they are not the right guys for you. Plain and simple. Relationships based solely on looks are only fueled by lust anyway. That all fades after a while.

    Like others have said: Build up your confidence. Look beyond looks. Get out, make friends and have fun. If you do those few things a great guy will come along.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 01:46 PM
    ramona_
    All teenage girls question their sexual preference at one point or another. No, I don't think you're a lesbian, I think you might just be curious, looking at other girls bodies is just curiosity.. subconsciously you're actually comparing yourself to them which is the "jealousy" you mentioned.. there's nothing wrong with that. If your preference is men and you have no intention on kissing/dating a girl then you're not gay.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 06:34 PM
    Jstar00000
    I cry a lot
    I cry a lot about things so I like having friends I could tell how I feel. And since I been bullied before I have this constant fear of losing friends for little things so I say sorry a lot. My friends tell me not to say sorry a lot but I don't think they understand why I get nervous breakdowns and say sorry. I have this best friend who I talk to when I feeling down who always listens to me and I tell her the truth about how Im feeling about things. One day I found out the guy I love to death is Muslim and since I am christian I can never be with him. I told my friend this and she help me feel better but then all of a sudden she started to feel bad about it and stopped talking to me and getting mad at me. I kept telling her to not feel bad because I don't feel bad anymore. The once we settled things we started talking about that guy I like and she began to talk about the guy she liked too. Then I told her that I won't feel bad if I don't get the guy. And then she stopped texting me. I said my sorries again and when and cried soooo much. I don't think this behavior is normal. I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for the bulling and loneliness I thought she would do the same things she did when I told her about the guy. Then Im afraid I overreacted and shell leave me. I need help soooooon this just happened today dec 7... she doesn't forgive things like this easily. I wish there was someone out there that can give me sweet caring words that can cheer me up and calm me down as well as a solution to this problem. Also I need help with dealing with my broken heart for this guy. Thanks =)
  • Dec 7, 2010, 07:01 PM
    name_
    Different looks are attractive to different people. One day you'll find someone who likes you exactly the way you look. You might also find after a while of not finding someone attractive, they become attractive to you as you get to know them better. It's like their personality shines out and they become irresistible. I'm sure this will happen to you at some point, or someone else will get to know you and it'll happen to them!

    To make this more likely though you need to work on yourself esteem. If you're genuinely overweight and it makes you miserable then try a sensible diet or a bit of exercise. You don't have to be extreme about it. Also you'll find if you treat yourself well and with respect then others will too. So when you do get interest from a boy, make sure he's not a total tool cos you'll end up getting hurt and that'll in turn damage yourself esteem. Also sleeping around or kissing a lot of people isn't a good idea. I've done the latter and they weren't my proudest moments. In fact, myself esteem plummeted, as I just felt like an object. Sometimes less is more.

    Do things you enjoy with friends, dress a bit nicer than normal for no reason sometimes and you'll feel your confidence rising. You don't have to believe you're beautiful, but if you give off an air of confidence you'll in turn become more confident. After that you can try a bit of flirting which believe me works absolute wonders for yourself esteem, just don't take it too far if you're not really interested in them.

    Oh and never undervalue kindness. I think it's the most important thing in the world, and if you have that, you WILL be loved.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 07:08 PM
    Jstar00000
    THis just came up to me
    By looking at my questions do I seem depressed? I cry everyday about something or another. Then for the rest of the day I'm bubbly and happy till something else makes me cry. I can't tell anyone my true feelings
    I try to tell my mom she get mad at me and say I am a drama queen and unreasonable which makes me feel worse.
    I feel like I hopeless sometimes... Im scared to be depresses I don't want to be.
  • Dec 7, 2010, 07:47 PM
    Rugbydemon
    First a friend is a friend no matter what your views are. If you like this guy and you can't get passed the fact he's of a different religion then you have to tell yourself to accept the fact that you can't date him because of that. There is nothing saying that you can't date him but it is your belief that Christians and Muslims shouldn't mix so just respect his religion a common term you might know of is love thy neighbor, as for your friend you can say sorry for any offence that you might have said to her and that you would like to continue this relationship because it means something to you should do this TO HER FACE. As for the constant sorry start by relaxing and if you honestly believe what you think then don't apologize but just make sure its not offending any one you say it to which is probably why your friend isn't answering you. Think before you answer or express your beliefs openly but know a true friend is someone who you can confine within and not have to worry about offending them..

    Best of luck with the situation
  • Dec 7, 2010, 07:53 PM
    Rugbydemon
    In Addition to your nervous breakdowns you should go and see a doctor or shrink and talk to them.. it might be scary to u but it might help you in the long run

    Again best of luck
  • Dec 7, 2010, 10:50 PM
    Jstar00000
    Omg I'm so happy my friend help me realize that I don't have to talk much to be cool and that I don't need to worry about being me. Thanks guys for all the tips. Everyone's tips helped by the tooooooons!
  • Dec 11, 2010, 07:12 AM
    Jessica_Tilton
    No.. You don't sound like a lesbian. I mean I like to see girls too and I don't have the slightest interest to date,kiss or be in a relationship with one considering I'm one. I like to see what they have like their face, breast and other feature. It's OK to look even if you are a lesbian that is you're decision to make. So, don't worry cause you're not a lesbian.
  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:54 PM
    killerwhales22
    That is normal it is just your hormones
  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:56 PM
    ITstudent2006

    It's hard to say what could be causing this. How old are you?
  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:58 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    What type of things are making you cry, how old are you ?

    Do you often look for attention ( thus your moms opinion of a drama queen) What would make your mom have that opinion
  • Dec 13, 2010, 12:04 AM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    Friends/lonelyness/ I cry all the time about my weight stuff like that
  • Dec 13, 2010, 12:10 AM
    redhed35

    Try talking to your mother again,only this time ask her for ideas and tips you can use.

    Pick a time when things are quite around the house,then just say,mum I have this problem with my friends,what do you think?

    As for your weight,are you over weight? Even if your not exercise will make you feel better,rope in a friend to go for a walk with you or your mum.

    If school is the problem talk to a teacher or guidance councillor,that's what their there for.

    Talking about it will help.
  • Dec 13, 2010, 06:47 AM
    ITstudent2006

    I agree with redhead.

    Emotions can be overwhelming sometimes and keeping them to oneself and trying to deal with it internally can be very hard and unhealthy. Go through the correct channels and let those able to help you do so.

    Keeping things bottled up usually makes the situation look or feel worse then it is. Your mother may not seem helpful but maybe it's the approach you've taken. You are in control of your life, if it's the weight issue then go for a walk/run, exercise, watch your eating habits, seek help from those in similar situations.

    This goes for anything. If you feel lonely then participate in local social events, get out and live and have fun. I reliaze I don't know where you live so its hard for me to say what to do, but keeping yourself shacked away with your issues are ismply making them worse.

    Good Luck!
  • Dec 15, 2010, 06:28 PM
    Jstar00000
    How to comfort your friend when her crush is dating someone else?
    My best best friend keeps putting her self down because the guy she has a crush on and loves just started dating someoneles. It's during finals so I'm afraid with all the emotion she is having she would fail. I hug her and try to make her laugh but I don't know if there is something else I should do or am I doing the wrong thing. I don't know if I'm showing the right amount sympathy. I think she is jealous because I just went through the same thing recently (I can't have him because of his religion though) and even with this I am always jolly and happy during the day. I cry at home but she doesn't know about that. But anyway is there anything I can do to help her?
  • Dec 15, 2010, 06:33 PM
    Jstar00000
    Comment on redhed35's post
    Thanks for the help!! I really appreciate =) it but What if school hw is keeping me from exercising? I get no time for myself should I talk to a councillor about that too?

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