Congratulations on taking steps to improve your life Gem. It is kind of common for people, especially women, to develop crushes on their therapists because the therapist actually listens to them. But you must realize that this is what the therapist's job is... to learn about you and figure out ways to help you. Don't mistake it to be more than it is.

Crushes like these can be harmless enough if you don't act on your feelings, but I worry that you will trade one obsession for another Gem. I think that the reason you want to see the women that the men you are obsessed with are married to is because you know that you will compare yourself unfavorably to them. This may sound odd, but I think that in your sub conscience, you want to feel bad because you will have an excuse to "punish" yourself and continue your unhealthy behaviors.

These behavior are crutches for you. Maybe you are afraid to really feel better because you will have no excuse to stay stuck. If you start feeling better, you will have to take responsibility for going to work every day and have no excuse to call in. If you start having self esteem, you may have to start being in a real relationship and not one that is guaranteed to lead nowhere with married men. You are afraid to be in a real relationship I think. I believe that your weight, your phone sex chat, your obsessions with married men stem from one thing: fear.

You may need to find a different therapist and start being treated with medication to control obsessive compulsive behavior.

Again I congratulate you for seeking help which is wonderful, but don't keep seeing this particular therapist just because you have a crush on him. If you are attracted to him and are trying to impress him, it may stop you from telling him any truth that you think is an unattractive one and hinder getting the help you really need.

Hey... I came here to search for help desk related posts, and couldn't help coming across this post. I have some advise for you. Become more religious. I'm a Muslim, and I find that my religion helps me in my daily life. My religion prohibits over-eating, and has the month of Ramadan as a month of fasting. My religion prohibits adultery, and even going close to it. My religion promises a better life after death, if you live clean of sins in this world. You can learn more about it by reading the Holy Quran, and learning from fellow Muslims near you. You can read the Holy Quran at Quran Recitation and Translation Online in Arabic, English, and Urdu. That website has an English translation of the holy book. Before reading the quran, you should clean yourself up. Have a bath, wash your hands, the right hand first, wash your mouth and nose, wash your face, wash up to your elbows (again right hand first), wash your hair, wash your ears (right ear first), and wash your feet (right feet first) before reading the Quran. Wish you all the best dear sister.

May Allah bless you

I am completely speachless and very sorry for all that you are going through. (reaching out to give you a big virtual hug!) :) It is very hard when you have such a deep feeling of helplessness to pull yourself out of such a rut. I definitely know where you are coming from and have battled with depression in the past, especially over my weight issues. I had to pull myself out of my rut and realize that I am a worthwhile person... I'm beautiful on the inside and out. Once I started telling myself this, I began to believe it. I started working out and making healthy choices... but it has to happen in baby steps. Nothing worthwhile happens overnight. Just start by drinking water instead of soda. I definitely give you props for thinking about changing your number (you deserve to have someone next to you telling you your beautiful for who you really are, not just telling you over the phone). Remember... baby steps. You are beautiful and you have to keep telling yourself that! If you need further advice and want to chat, feel free to email me at [email protected]. You can also visit my site for health related info www.teambeachbody.com/linzthefitcoach. Remember anything is possible if you have FAITH!! God bless. ~Lindsay