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Originally Posted by anon97

thankyou but its easier said than done and i dont write personal things down anymore considerring my brother read all my thoughts when i had a diary :/ and sometimes i know im in the wrong but just can't help it... And when theyre in the wrong ill just react the same which is angerly

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You can't control them but how they act is controlling you. Don't let them do that to you. Take back your power!

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Originally Posted by Zea

Well, you only can decide how to deal with your problems.

Practice makes perfect. Learning how to be patient is the same. Who said beginnings are easy?

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Thanks and that's true but sometimes practasing takes way too long to learn to do something properly

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You can't control them but how they act is controlling you. Don't let them do that to you. Take back your power!

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But how do I take back power qith out hurting others

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Originally Posted by anon97

But how do i take back power qith out hurting others

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Taking back your power doesn't mean using force. This kind of power means self control. Life situations are messing with your head and making you think you have no control, no power. But you do. It IS your choice to act -- by lashing out or by cutting yourself or by finding a peaceful way to react to the stress, usually by getting away from it and finding something positive to do.

What could that positive thing be for you? For me it would be cleaning the bathroom or pulling weeds or baking brownies or playing FreeCell on the computer or (gently) brushing one or more of my cats. Positive for me would be getting my mind off the stress and using my energies elsewhere.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Taking back your power doesn't mean using force. This kind of power means self control. Life situations are messing with your head and making you think you have no control, no power. But you do. It IS your choice to act -- by lashing out or by cutting yourself or by finding a peaceful way to react to the stress, usually by getting away from it and finding something positive to do.

What could that positive thing be for you? For me it would be cleaning the bathroom or pulling weeds or baking brownies or playing FreeCell on the computer or (gently) brushing one or more of my cats. Positive for me would be getting my mind off the stress and using my energies elsewhere.

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That makes a lot of sense and ill try to use this method and thank you very much

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Originally Posted by anon97

That makes alot of sense and ill try to use this method and thankyou very much

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I'm going to be sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear, "Positive power! Positive power!" If you feel something jumping up and down with excitement on your shoulder when you're doing good, that'll be me. :D

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm going to be sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear, "Positive power! Positive power!" If you feel something jumping up and down with excitement on your shoulder when you're doing good, that'll be me. :D

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Do you know what? That's so darn sweet and I love you lot for actually wasting your time to help me, its actually quiet thoughtful

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Originally Posted by anon97

Do you know what? Thats so darn sweet and i love you lot for actually wasting your time to help me, its actually quiet thoughtful

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So we have a deal? You'll let me sit on your shoulder for free? I promise not to pull your hair!

And I want a weekly report on this thread as to how things are going, okay?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So we have a deal? You'll let me sit on your shoulder for free? I promise not to pull your hair!

And I want a weekly report on this thread as to how things are going, okay?

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Im sort of new to this so I don't quiet understand how to give a weekly report on this thread (p.s I have no idea what you mean by thread too) haha and okay you can sit on my shoulders aslong as you don't hurt me

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Originally Posted by anon97

Im sort of new to this so i dont quiet understand how to give a weekly report on this thread (p.s i have no idea what you mean by thread too) haha and okay you can sit on my shoulders aslong as you dont hurt me

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All you have to do is just what you did now, post in this same thread (this line of responses) and give us an update.

Of course, as long as you are positive, I won't pull your hair. :D

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

All you have to do is just what you did now, post in this same thread (this line of responses) and give us an update.

Of course, as long as you are positive, I won't pull your hair. :D

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Ooh okay ill try to give a response to you if I can remember haha just messing about ill post updates and Thank you very much

I ended up cutting myself today, I don't know why I got the erge to do it after a whole year. I think things kept getting to me and the only way I feel is... that by helping to prove others right then I'm making myself happy because everyone's getting what they won't which is me to slowly be a past memory. Don't get me wrong I've been suicidal in the past but today when I put the blade across my arm there was something that made me want to stop but then again I felt like a coward. Shortly after cutting myself mum ended up swearing at me (un-aware of my feelings or situation) as so did my brother which made me feel like I did the wrong thing for not going fourth with it. Idek what's wrong with me, I don't know how to feel anymore.

So, have you been seeing a therapist like you were told you need to do in previous posts on this topic?

Why do you insist on giving away your power to everyone else?

I ended up cutting again this time on my thigh, they say cutting is an attention seeking method however I have a valid reason I think. Mum and dad always fight when I come back from school, but two days ago whilst they fought he got up and made her cry. He punched her in the back that she was tossing and turning. I felt so much hate I wanted to get up and just kill him myself. Ive told them they're better off separated again but neither of them listen, they just blame me after all I am "the child who was a mistake". I genuinely do not have aclue as to what I'm supposed to do anymore.

Find better ways to deal with your stress and emotions especially frustration and anger. Young people are often not very good at coping with difficult situations so they make up ways that are often as bad as the situations and circumstances they are stressed about. Add to that the people around you don't know what to do about it either, and often make you feel worse, or more confused.

When merging your threads, a pattern emerged of YOU reacting to your parents stresses, and combined with a lack of knowing what to do when they stress you out, (or anything else) you cut/self harm. Some people shout, some leave in a huff, some even throw things. All for the same reason, relieving the stress and changing the FEELINGS they cause which is quite INTENSE.

You cannot do this by yourself, nor stop their bad behavior and words, so you must learn a new way of coping with the actions of others, by finding an adult who can help, a school counselor comes to mind, or someone else you TRUST. Ideally you should talk to your mom, during a quiet private moment, explaining your need to find a better way to deal with young emotions and stress. But plan B is another trusted adult who has the skills to guide you in finding and practicing better coping skills and self control over your own feelings, thoughts, and actions.

Is there another adult you respect and TRUST? I know doctors and psychiatrists, and meds are out, though that's the BEST route to go. But another adult that can teach you how to maintain your cool, stay calm, and be collected and in control of YOURSELF, when the world around you is wacked, and crazy, is what's needed.

How does your brother cope?

I agree with what Tal said. And don't be just another powerless person and allow your emotions to rule. Take control of yourself and be the adult in the room. You see adults acting like naughty (and worse) children. You are better than that! And like Tal said, find a mentor or sponsor who will talk you through the bad spots, someone you can call during the rough times, someone who calls to check up on how things are going..