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    foreverromantic's Avatar
    foreverromantic Posts: 177, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    Mar 26, 2017, 03:19 PM
    Antagonistic attitude
    A few days ago I had 3 ladies over for lunch. Two I have known for 7 years and one only less than 2 years, I call her for these purposes "Jen". Well, I also put out a bottle of wine, although I don't drink it and only Jen did and she drank more than half the bottle. After which this Jen during our conversation started getting "very antagonistic toward me about everything I was talking about". Just even simple things like clothes or cooking. She wanted "proof" of everything I said. I never saw this happen with her before and I figure it was the wine that did it. Although people say drinking may bring out the "real truth or way you feel about things". I never saw this with her before and I don't understand it. I recently had a book published and am doing well with it. She seems to be "very overly tight" with money all the time with everything. I suspect she could be jealous of my book, etc. and thus her demeanor. One thing is for sure, she won't get invited again. Plus, she brought a dessert and took it home again after we sampled small piece, stating she promised her neighbor the rest of it. My other friends each brought something, but left it with me, i.e. fresh fruit, small dessert.
    Please advise your feelings if any on what I have stated above.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,793, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert

    Mar 26, 2017, 03:26 PM
    Had you two been pretty good friends before this happened? If so invite her over and have a talk with her. Find out what is going on in her life. Maybe there is something going on that contributed to that.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Mar 26, 2017, 03:27 PM
    To my mind, this is all about your feelings, no one else's, online or anywhere.
    No harmful, abusive, shocking events; just a luncheon that went off kilter a bit.
    Do what feels right to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    Mar 26, 2017, 04:44 PM
    Maybe it was the wine since you mention nothing else in this 2 year relationship, oryou have just learned something you didn't know about Jen. Friends talk conflicts and disagreements through though, don't they?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert

    Mar 26, 2017, 05:26 PM
    Is this the same person?
    foreverromantic's Avatar
    foreverromantic Posts: 177, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    Mar 26, 2017, 05:44 PM
    same person
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    Mar 27, 2017, 05:38 AM
    Are you having a hard time cutting ties, or just a lack of communication between you? What do you want, as obviously there can't be any changes in this relationship without you changing what you are doing about it. One wonders what you are holding on to, or why you cannot talk, air grievances and concerns, and resolve your conflicts, or at least accept the differences.

    If you cannot simply limit your contacts to what you can handle. Maybe just a polite hello in passing? Appears to me you are trying to make this person into something she is not (a close buddy), and are frustrating yourself.

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