This is really hard to talk about...

Two years ago, at summer camp, I was raped by my friend. We were playing are you nervous and I never got nervous, and he knew that. He also knew that I had a crush on him. He suggested that we go somewhere else and I said yes. Before I could sit down, he pushed my on the ground. He straddled me and started to choke me and I black out. I guess it was only for a few seconds, cause when I woke up, I saw him shove his penis in me. I rather not talk about the rest.

I know the definition of virgin is to become sexually active, but I also know that being a virgin is your choice. Does rape or sexual abuse count? To become sexually active, or to lose your virginity is a choice. But if you're forced to have sex, does it count? I don't know what to do.

So, am I a virgin. I just want to know if I am. My parents don't even know about what happened, so if you give me advice on telling them that, that would be great. It's just really annoying when people ask you "Are you a virgin"? And you don't know what to say. Please give me an answer, I'm only 14. Thank you.

-Natasha

You are medically not a virgin if you have had intercourse. I have never seen the definition as anything to do with being sexually active.

Why people are asking you this question is beyond my understanding but why are you responding in any fashion other than telling them it's none of their business?

Have you considered talking to anyone about the rape? It can and possibly will come back to haunt you if you don't come to terms with it. To a certain extent someone has to stop "him" before he hurts someone else - and I don't know that that's your job. Someone should know.

I don't know why people are asking me this. (It's weird). Anyway, it does come back to haunt me... every summer... I see him at camp. I've talked to of my friends about it and it has helped. (A little bit). Wait, are you saying I should stop him? I rather not, I'm sorry if it happens to someone else, but I'm not talking to him.

Also, I don't know if you answered my question? But, along the lines of my question, I have another one. My ways of coping with it is weird. I like to screw around with people. (Like hooking up, touchy feely... )

Thank you though.
-Natasha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by halebop96

I don't know why people are asking me this. (It's weird). Anyways, it does come back to haunt me... every summer... I see him at camp. I've talked to of my friends about it and it has helped. (A little bit). Wait, are you saying I should stop him? I rather not, I'm sorry if it happens to someone else, but I'm not talking to him.

Also, I don't know if you answered my question? But, along the lines of my question, I have another one. My ways of coping with it is weird. I like to screw around with people. (Like hooking up, touchy feely...)

Thank you though.
-Natasha

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I'm saying you should REPORT him to someone - I'm not saying it is your job to physically stop him.

I cannot believe you were raped and you are so casual about rape happening to someone else.

If you are 14 playing "touching/feely/hooking up" I understand why people ask if you are a virgin and, yes, the rape has adversely affected you.

Yes, your virginity was taken by a rapist. That's what he is, of the worst kind. He choked you, and then forced himself on you. He could have killed you.

I suggest you talking to someone about this. I mean a counselor, and give that counselor enough information as to get this guy convicted. There is no telling how many girls he's done this to. He needs to be stopped. He needs to be locked up.

Good luck to you on getting the proper help.

I am sorry, I wish I could say you still are, but it is not a matter of choice, it is a matter of did you have sex, since he penetrated you, then you are no longer a virgin.

That does not make you any less a wonderful person, and does not mean you have to change your moral standings..

I have no idea why anyone would ask, unless at your age, more and more people are starting to have sex and they are nosy about each other