Well, I thought I would give an update on the situation. We had our meeting today at school. Her teacher, the principal, the special ed teacher and the school counselor were all there.
They told us that she is basically immature. That she is inconsistent, needs extra time to complete work and can not work independently.
They also said that they feel that she not only could be a good student, but a GREAT student that would shine in multiple areas. (That made me feel good)
They do not think she has any kind of disability. They attribute her "weaknesses" on being young and immature.
They said that if we could give her the chance to grow up a little more - that she is going to be fantastic. If not, she will always be playing catch up. And that is something I do not want for her.

So, we haven't made the decision yet, we are going to talk it through this weekend. But it was a good meeting overall.
I just hope my husband heard everything that was said and try to be positive.
I am actually excited at the prospect of this - I look at it as an opportunity and not something bad.

Oh, that is wonderful...

That is exactly what happened to our daughter. Yours will be academically excellent if given the chance!!

A little maturity goes a long way!!

**Another Update**

We have made a decision! Yea, us!

We have both decided that the best thing to do is to hold her back in 1st grade.
I let the school know and she will have the same teacher as this year. We really like her and she already knows us, the strengths and weaknesses of our daughter and knows where she left off.

Now, we just have to tell her. Again, my husband and I have two different opinions. I believe that if blame is to be laid - it falls on us 100%. She didn't fail. All of her "problems" stem from us sending her to school to soon. A decision she had nothing to do with.
He thinks she should bear some of the "responsiblity". I think it is hog wash! But, we have all summer to come together on this. He still is wrapped up the stigma of "oh she FAILED". If anyone failed - we did.

But, she is getting a clean slate and is going to do wonderful!

I'll agree with your decision too NW. My daughter is also 6 years old but a January birthday. She is in kindergarten now due to the cutoff and we definetely see the benefits of that as compared to some of the younger kids. Your decision to do it now while she's young will mean that'll be a distant memory for her sooner than later. And she'll enjoy the feeling of success in the grades to come.
Good luck!

Oh, NW, I am so glad to hear this!! I wish my daughter, whom we held back in kindergarten, would get on here and tell you how thankful she is.

The maturity level makes all the difference in the world!!

Stay strong, it will only get better from here!!

*Yet another update*

Well, I told her our decision. We had said that we weren't going to tell her until this school year is over. We have been done for a week - today.
She kept saying how proud everyone is going to be that she is no a "2nd grader"

I felt like I was lying to her by not saying anything. I just sat her down and told her. The first thing she did was put her head down and started to cry. It broke my heart.
I tried my best to explain - putting ALL of the responsibility on me and my husband - that we had made the mistake of sending her to soon. That she is going to be able to do really well on things that may have been hard and frustrating for her this year.
When she found out that she would have the same teacher, she said she didn't want to learn the same things over and that she would be bored. I have done my best to reassure her. Towards the end of the conversation - she stopped crying and asked for strawberries. Kids do bounce back! That was 3 days ago and she has only brought it up once and it was positive.
She hasn't said anything to anyone else to make us believe that this bothers her.
So, I hope we made the right choice. I am sure we did. The hard part is over and I can breathe for the rest of the summer.

This is an age old question that began when schools got federal funds for holding children back. Between kindergarten and 1st grade they wanted to hold my daughter back (1983) because she was not reading according to them. I pulled all her grades and she was making good grades so they said she should be held back because she was socially immature. We read to her all summer and insisted that she go to first grade. They said but the money has already been allocated. She went to first grade and graduated at age 17 with college classes already under her belt. Great student grade wise but she paid a price for that. For the 1st weeks of 1st grade she went to the principles office everyday because her teacher help saying she belonged in the pre 1st grade. That teacher left to have a baby and the next teacher saw her protential and gave her the chance she and we wanted.

Maybe it was because that first teacher made her feel dumb that she worked so hard. Maybe it was because that second teacher gave her a chance. Maybe she was just going to do the work. No ones knows what causes a child to succeed under these conditions. Just as you are wondering if it is the right thing to do and not knowing, neither did we.

Each child should be given the chance like you husband said to prove they can make it. They should not be a dollar sign for the school.

Also the younger they get them the more influence they have on them. The longer they have them the more influence they have on them. The school system that is.

I wish you the best of luck but if I had it to do over again, I would do the same thing. Let her go forward.

Believe me I wish I could tell everyone don't become a dollar sign for the school. Do not make you children think they are smart because they go to school for 13 years. Let them me what they were meant to be.

None of the research that prove it is good to hold them back shows the social problems that it causes. They believe that children will not be cruel and say you are a dumbie because you were held back or say I could be smart too if I went to school 13 years.

Thanks for your input. We have decided to hold her back and are comfortable with that decision. We have under 2 weeks to go before school starts back.
I have struggled with this decision and hope that we are doing the right thing. I guess only time will tell.

**SCHOOL HAS STARTED UPDATE**

Okay, School has started and we went for our first teacher conference last Thursday.

I wasn't expecting anything bad. Homework is a breeze. She is reading really well and all of her tests come home with 100%. I have not regretted my decision AT ALL.

I was not expecting what the teacher said - nothing bad - it EXCEEDED my expectations.

She is doing so good that the teacher is afraid she is going to get bored so she will get some more challenging work. At the end of first grade they want the kids to be at a level H in reading. She is already at a level G.
The teacher is going to be giving her and 3 others chapter books to start reading.

Above all, her confidence and maturity level are so much better. Her teacher says she is in the top of her class. No more struggling! :p :p

After reading the stuff that happens on this board it's so refreshing to hear good news now and then. Congrats! The positive attitude around your household will surely carry over to other aspects of your lives. :)

One can only hope. Sometimes you never know that what you are doing as a parent is right. You just hope for the best. Never really knowing (on some things)

Well, I can say this with lots of confidence - we made the right decision. What kind of parent would I be if I didn't want the absolute best for my child?

That's what we are all doing: trusting our instinct and doing the best for our little munchkins.

Like needkarma said follow your instincts you know your kid better than anybody. If she is just behind a little you might try and spend the summer teaching her to catch her up or ask an older kid if they would mind.
At first and second grade age they might catch up soon enough, but by 4th or 5th grade I would hold them back if they were still behind. When I asked the grade school why they don't hold kids back any more they said basically what you are saying. That it holds them back more because of the embarrassment for the most part and in time it clicks and they catch up. I asked them wouldn't it be more embarrassing to be pushed through and it hasn't clicked and they have to deal with not being able to catch up on basics and they fall further behind.

I remembered the program I was talking about
You ask to have him take a placement (standardized) testing
Then they give him an IEP structured specifically for him.
In the third grade my son was on the 10th grade reading and history level but he was behind in some other classes and the IEP helped him a lot.

Archived: Guide to the Individualized Education Program

Hope this helps

Hello. I am just a concerned teacher. I wanted to know a parents point of view . So I looked around the internet for those points of view

It is my opinion to retain in the first grade. It is the only grade that retention works, in my opinion.

If she is immature, maturity will only come with time. I tell my parents, please give your child the gift of time!

Even if your child is able to perform on or about level right now, if she does not get the gift of time how will she be able to perform the higher order thinking skills that children 10 months older than her will be expected to do in fourth and up.

I have seen it hundreds of times. Children with F's one year, then they repeat the first grade and they are on the top of their game!!

I have also seen parents sulk down the hallway one year because they know their own child is behind. Then the next year they are floating down the hallways because their child is on the honor roll.

Thank you for your input. And you are right.
My daughter struggled last year. I guess more than we knew.
This year, according to her teacher, she is at the top of her class. So, for us, the best thing we did for our daughter was to hold her back. It has made a world of difference and we look forward to 2nd grade.

The magic number for graduating is age 18 we were told by teachers. We held our son back in Kindergarten due to the same reason. His birthday is Oct 31 and he was not mature enough to go on, yet he was very bright. He is actually my step-son and we all finally agreed to hold him back. He is now 16 with straight A's and doing very very well. Had we let him go on I think he would have struggled. He is where he should be. Also, if you are going to do it do it now because once she makes friends in the upper grades it will be very hard for both you and her to adjust then. Also, I work in a school and I now see first hand what kids struggle and what ones don't. It is usually the ones that scrape by with their birthdays...