I don't like seeing people give up on one another, yet I can certainly understand when it feels so one-sided that you become so depressed. I remember a relationship years ago (not married) when I had tried hard to keep it together to no avail. Essentially, the other half (fiance) waited pretty much for me to get tired of trying and then we drifted apart. Perhaps this is what your wife is trying to have happen. Being blasé about your relationship and just letting you wear yourself down and give up. Sometimes the differences in a relationship are just too much for one to handle. As you had mentioned, perhaps she'll see what she is missing when you stop trying to appease her. Focusing on the children only right now is a good idea. I still can't get past why SHE has the kids all of the time and not you? Are you both having equal time with them, or are they with her more of the time? I also wish, for the sake of having her want to really miss you, that she didn't have a constant support group with her at all times. You sound so level-headed and have your priorities in order.. it's a shame that she is putting you through this. Keep up your counseling just to keep your wits about you, if for no other reason. You had told your wife about counseling a few times.. she said she would go with you.. now it's up to her to keep her word. If she doesn't, familyman2, then don't push. You don't want to always be the one who has to coerce her into a good marriage.. to understand you.. to be a good wife. It takes two.. no doubt about it. You deserve your happiness.. you are still young. Life is too short to have to struggle like this with a person who doesn't have her heart in it. I pray she comes to her senses very soon and realize what a loving husband she has in you. As always, best wishes, familyman2. Please continue to post her so we see how things are going for you.. and to give you some support, too!