True, this is not good behavior from her, but the husband needs to find out why the wife is talking to another man.

She may not have some to him sooner maybe because she didn't think he was approchable or would understand what she wanted or needed, but you are right, her husband should be her first point of contact.

I talk to my fiancé a lot, and we send more than 2000 sms messages a month. Insane, I know, but we enjoy talking to each other and always being in contact. We just talk abot random things, whatever is going on at that point in time, or nothing at all. Its just nice to know what we are on each other's mind.

If I'm busy in a meeting or something, or have something to do, she does wait, because she does know I have things to do, but if she doesn't hear from me in a day, she gets worried.

I guess it comes back to communication being the key. I'm going to marry my best friend, the love of my life. I don't see a reason why I wouldn't want to talk to her as much as I can, let her know I'm thinking about her, and I know neither of us would ever want to talk to another person the way we talk to each other.

My point exactly. My wife is the only woman on my mind. Because I love her and RESPECT her. I would never have inappropriate communication with another woman while I'm married . If that's what I wanted to do, I would get out of it ( marriage). Once you compromise trust, it's hard to get it back . My point was that no "friendship " has this sort of daily contact and terms of endearment.

Agreed, this "friendship" she has with this other man is not good.

The husband needs to know why his wife desires this "friendship", if it is that.

Something must make her want to talk to this man, even after he told her not to.

If you have no kids leave her fast.

I think go with your instincts. You have confronted her several times, and yet she still continually does it anyway, if she has this man calling her sexy names, doesn't it have you wondering how she met him? And is she closer to him then you think?--
If she's not the one, divorce her.Hope I helped--
Elle

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

Agreed,
Something must make her want to talk to this man, even after he told her not to.

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Ummm she's a horndog

Without a lot more info, jumping to conclusions without facts, is not a good way to make such a big decision as divorce.

My questions would be:

Who she is texting, and to what the texts are about. The who and the why is important.

That the OP was pi$$ed about it means little, as I don't think he would just say stop it if he really thought it was serious, but may have him insecure, and controlling.

A lot more here than just a few lines tell. But the Op has been gone a while, and not come back so maybe she stopped, or he left. Wish I knew.

take her phone and lock her up!

Or just talk to her and say look here lady, enough is enough. Get out or get right. Make the choice now.

Or hunt the other man down like the dog that he is. Or hire a PI and get them to take racy photos of her and the other guy and then send them to the office where she works.

Men have called me Babe that I have not slept with. That is not an indication of anything. However, it sounds like the wife here is too irresponsible to be married. If she is doing things that she knows hurts her spouse and does not try to stop it, that is a sign that she has a lot to learn.

There are lots of good women out there.

I agree that jumping to conclusions isn't the thing to do here. She may be needing attention and likes the flirty stuff because maybe she feels you are not doing your part in that area.
If you pay the bill you can always have it shut off but regardless maybe being a little more attentive and flirty with her may go a LONG way in solving this.

Sometimes when women feel emotionally hurting they do dumb stuff like getting into an emotional affair to ease their hurt.

At the very least, get a plan with unlimited texting until you can get this resolved. Hopefully, you can switch plans because she just might run the bill up even higher in the future.

I wouldn't recommend you to just leave her. It might sound ridiculous and I don't want to call you the guilty one, by far not. But some women do those things because they are missing out on attention from their husband/boyfriends side. They don't cheat don't have sex nor anything else but just try to get your attention. Just think about it, as if she would really not want you to see that she wrote with whatever guy she would have found a better way than texting and anything which is tracable for you.

I feel really bad for you if you are in love with her, but if she doesn't love you back... and continues to text, let her be. You need someone who appreciates you. You can only try so much, and she's not putting the effort forward for you. Don't let her walk all over you.

I wonder how this would be viewed if the conversations were not on text, but in the workplace.

What if they talked and chatted up a storm all day long, day in and day out, but each went home to their mates, and never gave any of the conversations a second thought.

I think that if I had a transcript of all the conversations my husband has (only man in the office) with all the women he works with, I'd be freaked out totally. He has a very wicked sense of humour and is very personable.

Would I divorce him? No. Kick him out? No. Make him get another job? No.

What I would do is expect, that if the conversations were a little too friendly and/or provocative, lay down the law that it was to stop. It just isn't okay for him to have any kind of relationship that goes beyond what any normal person would think was harmless, whether it was at the office, texting, instant messaging, etc.

So, I'm thinking, take out the venue used, and put a different spin on it, and you are left with a problem in communication, and an unbalanced situation on her end.

She has to cut it out, period.