I know not seeing a connection isn't good. But ugh! I guess today I am all in some lost thoughts. I was hoping for a better connection on our vacation. I am frustrated and I want happiness and to be over all this nonsense.

Happiness starts with you, and you really need time to get your emotional balance back.

I know. Why am I always looking at everyone around me wanting what they have or thinking they have it better. I am thinking this is another reason I want out and stooped to an affair. Its bothering me today. Like I saw something I thought could be better and I jumped at it. Why can't I be happy? I hate that feeling. Why can't I be happy with what I have. So what if its not up to standards with other people. Maybe this is part of my problem.