How do I cure severe anxiety?

So since I was in elementary school, I've always had an extremely difficult time comprehending and understanding what I'm reading and/or what's being said to me. I had been held back twice and was the oldest person of my graduating senior class with most of the people being 17-18 and I being 20. I am now in college studying accounting as that deals more with numbers and less with words but that is even too difficult for me. I've tried getting brain scans and going under neurological testing but nothing ever shows up for a learning disability or any kind of mental problems like autism, aspergers, or schizophrenia. The only thing I've been diagnosed with is anxiety and depression. I've also taken an IQ test and I was slightly below average. I've taken pills, natural remedies, been inside a hyperbaric chamber, done neurofeedback, and am currently exercising and changing my diet. Yet none of this has helped in the least bit and I keep getting worse. Now I misspell common words like "egg" and "milk". I noticed this when writing my grocery list. It's even worse when I have to write reports for my college courses. I used to sleep now I sleep almost never. I've lost countless jobs due to not understanding the manager's instructions. I've been told I should collect for disability or apply for welfare but anxiety and depression don't make you eligible enough. And even if I was able to get welfare, it still wouldn't help the problem. All I'd be capable of doing is just existing, not being able to read, write, listen to people, watch movies and understand the plots and dialogue, do math, or even sleep. Please help! This has ruined 22 years of my life

Have you tried counseling? Talk therapy can be very helpful in cases like yours.

Are you under a doctors care NOW? Who decide to take you off the meds you were taking that didn't work? How long were you on them?

What sort of doctors have you seen? Have you ever talked to a psychologist?

I've been to many therapists. But the one I'm currently seeing I've been to for a year. And all they do is just give me pep talks and the stereotypical therapist "mmmkay" no useful info is being shared

I've been to a therapist/psychiatrist, a neurotherapist (which is the one that diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and performed neurofeedback on me), a psychologist (who took the brain assessment on me and said I tested negative on any mental disabilities), and an acupressurist (who gives me the natural remedies I'm currently taking)

First I went to a psychiatrist who gave me zoloft (don't know if I'm spelling that correctly) and was on that for about two weeks and starting becoming more and more violent. I was on the lowest dosage so I just went cold turkey. Simultaneously, I was seeing a therapist who barely did anything to help me. Then I went to go see a psychologist to do an assessment on me and see if I had any kind of learning disability. He took the test and said I didn't have anything. He then recommended me to see a neurotherapist, who did the neurofeedback on me. In their own words, I was their longest running patient of 4 months, and it had absolutely no effect on me. So now I just see the therapist I mentioned earlier and an acupressurist, who provides me with natural remedies. My symptoms get worse everyday.

I don't think you are being diagnosed correctly. What you said the other day about broken and jumbled words said a LOT about why your questions here are sort of ''different'' for the rest of us. Depression and anxiety don't come close to explaining your situation. If you could get to the Research Triangle medical centers for consulting, you might find very different results from what you are getting. (Forgive me if you already have.)
However, the whole science of the mind is still kind of a crap shoot. It doesn't really matter what a diagnosis is, and they all sort of blend into each other. Doctors have to pick one (with the option to pick more than one as sub-diagnoses) for insurance and reporting purposes. Talk about pigeonholes!

Anxiety is fear hormones (mostly adrenaline) without a direct object to be afraid of. If you see a truck coming at you, you produce tons of adrenaline, given to you to help you be alert and respond quickly; the fight or flight response. When you are anxious, you just keep pumping out adrenaline for reasons you can't pinpoint. Neurofeedback should have helped. Drugs won't. Drugs for anxiety are just bandaids to dull brains and allow people to get out of the house or go to work. The fact that nothing has helped is another reason for possible real brain wiring differences such as schizophrenia. If you are age 22, then that fits too - a typical time for it to be at its worst. And scans and imaging and tests aren't going to do much. Even the IQ test! You could be very intelligent for all anyone knows, but your 'translation' of those little characters on paper is holding you back.

I HATE saying all this, because who wants to be schizophrenic, and besides, I'm not a doctor, nor do I even know you! So PLEASE, just think about how doctors misdiagnose people ALL THE TIME, and don't take my word for it!
I suggested going on disability, not so you spend your life doing nothing, but to give you a break (yes it is very difficult to get nowadays). One college student knew she was schizophrenic because she was hallucinating, but not telling anyone, despite severe anxiety. She spiraled down into hospitals and eventually wrote a book and succeeded in life. There are countless such tales. I know several personally. Plenty don't hear things or see things. They just are wired differently.

What's interesting to me is your excellent writing, spelling, and grammar. You put together thoughts and construct good sentences, much better ones than a lot of what we see here. Can you describe how the 'input' of broken words with lost meanings is able to translate into such articulate writing? (I'm NOT doubting anything you say; just intrigued by how it works in your mind. It is easy to see what a struggle it is for you.)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by joypulv

Anxiety is fear hormones (mostly adrenaline) without a direct object to be afraid of.

---

Do you know, or have a theory, as to why the adrenal gland produces an overload of adrenaline with no apparent cause (such as a charging elephant). I agree that this is the chief symptom of anxiety but I've never seen a reputable explanation why the body acts in this manner. Faulty wiring in the brain seems like an explanation that doesn't explain.

I know of one case where the adrenal gland produced tons of adrenaline daily at the same time for 4 days in a row. The exact same symptom occurred for the same time period two separate times seven years apart. No other instance, I'm told, ever occurred. The "fight or flight" feeling was so strong as to be disabling.

Not trying to hijack this thread, but I think your comment on "fear hormones" may be an important approach to the truth and therefore may be helpful.

I wasn't equating faulty wiring of the brain with anxiety. It's just reasonable for an intelligent, aware person to be anxious if his brain does have faulty wiring. It happens in many situations, including people become aware that they have Alzheimer's. I'm 71, and have the usual CRS, usually very STM, and people's names. But the day I stood in the kitchen wondering what to have for breakfast and suddenly the toaster popped up, I was afraid, because the memory of putting bread in it never came back. I joke about such moments, and am not too worried, but Mr. Farber says he's getting worse, and that is something to be afraid of (anxious about), as is knowing that no one knows what's going on.

Anxiety is very common in almost all of us, and most probably IS connected to a describable fear. Our pets do it too, usually with a more simple connection. We just don't often remember what that original fear was, and if it wasn't a single event, it becomes generalized. But we can generalize a single event too. You were 10 and were walking your dog on a leash. You dropped the green leash to tie your Keds. The dog ran to the brook, slipped into turbulent water, the leash tangled in a fallen tree, you watched your dog drown 30' downstream. You were wearing a plaid shirt and a Yankees cap. It was a Thursday. The noise of the water was deafening.
So many associations over the years, with each of those descriptions, and who knows what else? Daisies growing along the brook etc etc etc?
Guilt is another subject, in this case of the dog drowning.)

Some situations really are caused only by what's happening in our bodies. Not everything is an emotional life-event trigger. Adrenaline, released by the adrenals, doesn't operate in a vacuum. Lemmings don't 'commit suicide' by running to the sea, they drown inadvertently running from overpopulation, but they all have enlarged adrenals from stress. Chronic stress gets all sorts of other glands and hormones going (cortisol is one). The pituitary, that tiny gland in the brain, gets so complicated with hormones going back and forth in loops, or nerves that trigger other glands to produce hormones, that it's a marvel of nature, and sometimes I wonder how we all get through so much as a supermarket check out line, except that our checks and balances are split second in many cases, unlike governments.
The situation you describe, Athos, I have no clue about, except to guess maybe that it's both. To have a 7 year clock is very interesting. People in psych fields might be most likely to guess that it really does have the emotional memory as a trigger. And triggers can be really obscure. What if a little kid hears ''7 year itch'' and grows up to suddenly feeling an urge to cheat on a spouse? Or some ''7th seal'' image? 7th son of a 7th son?

As a kid I had an upsetting recurring dream that had a certain noise in it, like a heartbeat mixed with a huge turbine. If I hear anything like it, I leave or get rid of it! I have no idea what it came from.

(Later - another thought about twice seven years apart is anticipation. The 2nd time it happened was 7 years after the first - unexpectedly. Could the 3rd time have been feared, prophesied, or in some way expected, and thus self fulfilling? I don't really like saying that, but I think it helps cover all bases.

To joypulv - thank you.

Tell us about the violent episode you experienced Allen, that led to you being taken off Zoloft, and not put on a different med? I am stunned to be honest that your other doctors you saw didn't try different medications either.

I appreciate your input but I doubt I’m a schizophrenic as I don’t show any of the other signs like hallucinations and whatnot. I do agree there might be a learning disability that hasn’t been addressed. As for being able to write sentences and such, I’ll be honest. Most of it is autocorrect. And even then, I use the words in ways that make sense to me. I tend to use words according to their dictionary definition but the problem is a lot of people use words that don’t make sense in the context... or at least not to me

also, I think I should specify that words aren’t literally jumbled up to me. I just view words like how a normal person would view jumbled up words

It was less external violence and more internal. Not to give off a serial killer type vibe but I would fantasize about hurting people around me wherever I was, whether it be school or work. I tried boxing as some sort of outlet but it didn’t relive me any

Yes, Zoloft and other SSRIs can lead to thoughts of harm. Usually not resulting in harm, but obsessive thoughts of it. And it goes away when the drug is stopped.

I am happy to drop the schizophrenia suggestion (BUT I DID say that the symptoms are not always what most people think, such as voices. Visual hallucinations are actually pretty rare). You have more symptoms of Asperger's. It doesn't really matter. But you went from living in a dream with broken words, to just a learning disability. NOPE, in my humble opinion. You have too much anxiety and too many limits on your life. But if you don't want to go further, that's your choice. Good luck.

Sorry but what are you saying "nope" to? And go further with what? Trying to figure out my problem?

I'm saying nope to JUST a learning disability. You did a 180. You went from 'severe anxiety' and 'an extremely difficult time comprehending and understanding what I'm reading and/or what's being said to me' back to 'learning disability.'

But you are the one who knows yourself best. It seemed like you didn't want to go further, as in going full circle back to learning disability. For all any of us know, you are right.

I'm not ruling out the idea of multiple things causing my problems (anxiety, Asperger's, etc.) but what I am ruling out is the whole schizophrenia idea

I have to ask, are you ruling out the schizophrenia because you're afraid that may be the problem, or because you know beyond a doubt that that's not the issue, because I have to say, I agree with Joy, schizophrenia is a viable diagnosis in my opinion. But then none of us can diagnose you, we can only give suggestions based on our knowledge and experiences. None of us are doctors, and all the doctors you've seen haven't been able to figure out what's going on, so it's very unlikely that any of us will.

I was staying with simple schizophrenia for one reason: you say you are getting worse. IMO, that rules out other conditions, and fits with your age.

I can't emphasize enough how primitive the science of the mind really is. There is no good way to diagnose any of the conditions we call mental illness. Schizophrenia, however, probably will be something that can be proven in the near future. It's not a sentence to a lifetime of drugs and drooling. ''Some of my best friends are schizophrenic,'' LOL. I wish I could explain what it's like, but it would take a week. Some hear voices yet hold good jobs, have real careers, while others live on disability yet have never had a single symptom that is easy to pin down, such as hearing voices. They just have a tough time. ALL of them had their worst years in their early 20s. This fits with very new research about 'synapse pruning' that happens in our brains starting in the teens, but doesn't happen in the schizophrenic, so the synapses are firing too much. Nature gave babies very active synapses in order to absorb a lot of information and in order to have active imaginations (even things like imaginary friends, a form of hallucination, but very 'normal.') You aren't hearing voices nor seeing things, but that is not relevant. Your input from the world is working OK, but then some of it gets jumbled. (Your output seems fine, as in your writing skill.) My question to you is this: is it worse to continue the anxiety of wondering what the heck is wrong, or accept that something physiological is going on that is beyond your control, and work on a life that encompasses that, the way someone with a missing arm does, or a blind or deaf person does?

I'm not so sure about any of the drugs for schizophrenia (or depression, or anxiety)! I am anti-drug but would never ever try to stop anyone from taking them. I have tried many different anti-depressants off and on for about 40 of my 71 years. I'd say that two of them helped, but only briefly, then they wore off with a big disappointing thud. Talk therapy was better for me. There may be some new drugs I know nothing about, that may help calm down those over active synapses in your situation. (Maybe even for me, now that I'm losing my short term memory at age 71, LOL. But I don't believe such drugs exist, not yet, so for now I joke about it. My dad joked about it right into his 90s. But this is about you, at age 22!)

I mean I just don't show a lot of the symptoms of schizophrenia. Even though you don't have to hear voices, have hallucinations, be paranoid, have a lack of emotions, etc. those would definitely be things that warrant an accurate diagnosis.

The anxiety doesn't stem from wondering why I'm anxious or having a hard time processing things. It's just there and there's no way I can cope with it. I try reasoning with myself about it but it's all in vain. On the outside, people don't see anything wrong... that is until they look at some test scores or see me try to follow instructions. But on the inside I'm a complete wreck

OK, your opinion is as good as anyone's, if not better, given that you know yourself best. I still disagree, however, about what you feel would be an accurate diagnosis.

I'd be happy to describe in detail one schizophrenic friend, who got an MBA, pilot's license, good job, wife and 2 smart kids, but fell apart in his 20s, and has spent the next 50 years having a tough time coping.

That's good to know about your anxiety. So you are saying that you believe it's physiological rather than situational (the world around you, past and present)? That could get into an area of endocrinology that might or might not be available to you at a large teaching medical center, where they have the grants to spend on studying you.
Does it feel like fear? Anxiety IS adrenaline, plain and simple. Anxiety is fear with no object of fear. I compare it to that moment when I wake up in the dark to a sudden weird scary noise. A little sickening for a moment, then just plain old heart thumping fear while I go investigate. When the adrenaline rush goes down, I feel weak.

If you have it all the time, and it really doesn't relate to anything in your life, then that can be related to how your brain and endocrine system all fail to work together. A super complicated problem, for sure.

There's also a whole bunch of medical conditions related to endocrine (hormone) disorders of the adrenals, the pituitary, the thyroid, that could have you being tested til the cows come home. Symptoms CAN include anxiety, inability to sleep, and even psych ones. I almost wish you had one really obvious symptom. Is there anything physical you haven't mentioned that is unusual?

Although there may be some moments were I feel anxious for no apparent reason, there may be two triggers I can identify. When trying to comprehend and failing to... and when trying to be social and having a hard time contributing to the conversation. I can't exactly explain if the anxiety makes me feel worried or fearful. All I know is it's just a mix of emotions that are unpleasant. Suicidal thoughts, worrying about the future, feeling extremely angry and having thoughts about harm, etc.

OK, that's all making sense, even if it still is a mystery. It's tough sorting out the situational from the physiological.
Can you say more about the feeling that it's getting worse? (I know, I feel that might be more evidence of scz, but that doesn't mean it is... take my words with a grain of salt, as you should with any stranger online!)

It can be frustrating I know to want to do something, but not know how to get it. You are hardly alone in that. Who do you play basketball with? Classmates? Got any text buddies? A favorite place you enjoy? I know I ask a lot of questions, but I have a theory, you are a fish in the wrong fishbowl, and what I mean is you are trying to fit in, but in the wrong environment.

What did you want to be when you were growing up? Who do you respect, and want to emulate, or be like? Can you drive? How is the relationship with your parents? Got siblings? See your family often?

I do play with classmates and friends. I have no clue what I want to do and as for driving, I'm not all that great. I either drive too slow or too fast and I've had quite a few tickets

As for things getting worse, this problem just used to be a frustrating and minor inconvenience and didn't affect anything else. But now that I realize I can't be a kid for the rest of my life and I need to be responsible, I actually started to care about comprehending things and getting good grades. Now I barely sleep or eat, and I roam around my dorm pacing back and forth talking to myself. I have fits of rage and moments where I can't help but cry nonstop.

When exactly was your last doctor visit and what happened? Is there a reason why you didn't answer my questions about your family? Name one thing you can do easily that can translate into a job. I'malmost done with the questions. Be patient please.

If by doctor, you mean therapist... that was on Tuesday. If you mean actual doctor, then sometime in either November or December. The therapy session was really slow like usual and no valuable info was really shared. The reason I went to the doctors was because I had some sort of bug, completely unrelated to the mental problem. As for family, I didn't try to dodge the question I just overlooked it on accident. I do have a younger sister and a younger brother. And my parents have known about my situation but didn't do anything about it when I was young so I took initiative and set up all these tests and sessions myself. I mean I guess I could mop floors or clean as a job, assuming the person I'm cleaning for doesn't have any specific instructions for how I'm supposed to do it

I'll be here in a bit...

To ask a bit more like tal, what would you do with your life if you could do anything?
What do you think about doing in the realm of what's within easier reach?
AND
Can you take a year off from school?
Would your parents mind if you lived back at home for a while?

I probably wouldn't be able to take time off school and my parents probably wouldn't be too keen with the idea

Do your parents know that you're having a hard time in school, that you don't feel that this road will lead to success, or do they think you'll pass and start a career as an accountant?

They know about it and that's why they don't want me coming. Most of my childhood I spent at my grandparents because my parents couldn't take my constant questioning

Could you take a year off and stay with your grandparents? I really think some time off, time to figure out what you're good at, what you can conceivably do to make money and support yourself, is a good idea. Right now you're stressing yourself out, which is making your issues even worse. You know that college is a dead end, that this is not the career for you. Why spend the money on it and continue to flounder when you know it's going nowhere?

Can you HIRE a TUTOR? To be frank, if you stay in school that's what it's going to take. What you really need more is a MENTOR, a trusted older adult male to guide you through the process of helping yourself. That's pretty much why I was asking the questions about your family relationships. Talking to a school counselor maybe, to consult with about your academics, would be VERY helpful I think, but a mentor to talk to, ask questions, to EMULATE, can be especially beneficial to a 22 year old guy looking for answers to his life issues. They may have a mentoring program at your school, or in your area, or at a local church. Ask your school counselor.

That you are willing to take RESPONSIBILITY for yourself is admirable, and an excellent start, but you cannot do this alone. I hope you look around and find that older male figure, so you can make a plan and carry it out.

Let me say something about therapy at this point, it's not about someone helping you get cured, but merely an avenue that you can find out about how YOU can solve your own problems. To find better ways to deal with whatever your issues are. To hear you say the words out loud and examine your thoughts and feelings. A therapist only provides a STRUCTURE for that, but it's you who do the work (Yeah I know they get the big bucks but STRUCTURE is important to accomplish better understanding of yourself.).

Have you ever considered a personal journal? Instead of pacing your dorm, write your feelings down. Old fashion paper and pencil. And answer me this what's wrong with mopping a floor, or pushing a broom? Some janitors make a decent living, and it's HONEST work. That's where I started as I learned to do better, and ain't NO SHAME IN MY GAME.

I will admit I had a lot of older males in my life guiding me to the right path. You NEED that! If you don't have it, then actively seek it out. Sound like a plan man?

They've passed away now. My grandmother from my dad's side is still alive but she's on the other side of the country so it's not practical.

I will definitely think about what needs to be done and make some plans. I appreciate you for being patient and sympathetic towards me.

A better word would be EMPATHY my young friend. I was 22 once and had ISSUES. I still have ISSUES!

Yes you can take a year off from school. Happens all the time. Talk to a professor or the department office or go straight to the admin offices.

Yes you can convince your parents that you aren't the same now, and have the internet and books, and can stop questioning them all the time. Are your parents from another culture/country? Something odd about the way they just handed you over to your grandparents. And you use the phrase 'keen on the idea,' not typical for today's 22 year old.

I'm guessing that your reasonably good moments, such as when you can write here, are far different from the times alone in your dorm room. You can't go on like this. Too much stress. You are making a remarkable effort to solve what sounds like genuine brain wiring problems by reading and studying, but that can't fix everything. Please take some time off. Please look into the nearest big teaching medical center, such as around Research Triangle Park.