Eating disorders are a disease. It's not easy to get over something that you've been doing for a long time. It's become a part of you, it's an addiction. From what you've said in your posts, you obviously don't want to continue like this. It's mind over matter. You have it in you to stop. You and only you have control over your body. So control it, start eating. Stop feeling guilt. Your parents are supposed to provide food, clothing, shelter, it's what they signed up for when they had you.

You stood up to me before. When I said something you didn't like, you gave me attitude. Obviously there's strength in you, so find it, use it. You're not nearly as weak as you think. I've seen the strength in you, now you just have to see it.

You have the ability to change your whole life. Don't let your past define you. Don't let your circumstances determine who you're going to be. You and only you can make that choice. Either you let your circumstances control you or you control them. You have the backbone, so use it.

I have faith that you can do this. I have faith in you. Now all we need is for you to have faith in yourself.

That is the most uplifting thing someone has spoken directly to me. Thank you, sincerely

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

That is the most uplifting thing someone has spoken directly to me. Thank you, sincerly

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I meant every word.

Now you only have to see the truth behind what I said. :)

I have OCD so I have to respond, but I can't think of a response to that. Other than I'm going to get a pretzel! Teehee, I feel rebellious

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I have OCD so I have to respond, but I can't think of a response to that. Other than I'm going to get a pretzel! teehee, I feel rebellious

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Put butter on the pretzel. :)

Eww. Loly, I hate the taste of grease. Haha messes up my throat. It doesn't move grease and mucus like it should because the cilia on my throat cells are gone from health problems

You can't let fear, and a sense of being unworthy rule your life. If you don't work to change it now, then you'll end up self-destructing later. As soon as things start looking good for you, the voice in the back of your head will start telling you that you don't deserve it, and you'll start ruining things. The sooner you work on reversing that way of thinking, the better your life will be in the end.

I KNOW it's hard. It's something I still have a hard time with. It's part of why I am where I am today (homeless). It takes a conscious effort to remind yourself, EVERY time you catch yourself doubting it, that you DO deserve the basics of life, including health and happiness.

Do your parents know about the eating disorder? Sometimes, even if you're absolutely sure it's impossible, family can lend the most strength in hard times. Maybe just having someone to talk to, and to remind you that you NEED to eat, will be just the push you need.

You're going to be out of school soon. Eventually you'll be getting out on your own. You want to be able to function when that happens. It takes a lot more than being able to get a job and knowing how to pay bills to survive on your own. You need to be able to take care of yourself without someone there to remind you to do so, which includes eating on a regular basis and doing what you can to take care of your health.

As alty said, you've already shown strength here. The simple fact that you can admit to having an eating disorder, and are trying to correct it, speaks of a great strength. A weak person wouldn't admit to it, unless forced to, and would try to convince everyone, including themselves, that it's not a big deal.

Somewhere, not so deep down, you know that you deserve just as much out of life as anyone else. You know that you should be eating on a regular basis, and that you are just as entitled to food as the rest of your family. You know that vitamins are not a big thing to ask for (you could probably even find some at a dollar store or discount store). You know that by denying yourself basic necessities, that you're only making your life harder, not making your family's lives easier.

If your father, honestly, thinks that you eating is something you should be ashamed of, then you need to move out as soon as reasonable. Parents are supposed to care for and nurture their children, not emotionally abuse them for eating food they are legally required to provide for them. He LEGALLY has to provide you with enough food to stay healthy and well-nourished, until you turn 18.

O trust me. I'm over-nourished... and I'll admit to my problems, being ashamed hurts worse than speaking. He provides me with food, we always have a full fridge. But he comments on my size every time I eat

I try to tell myself I deserve things, then I feel guilty for thinking of myself.

It's a long, hard process. Just remind yourself that you're not taking anything that you don't deserve, and you're not getting more than anyone else. It's not like you're expecting to be served fresh lobster every night.

If you're a little overweight, it's probably because of your eating habits. Binge eating, followed by starving yourself, teaches your body to store fat. It doesn't know when it will get food next, so, instead of burning off the calories, it stores everything it can, causing you to gain weight. Eating on a more regular basis will, most likely, help your weight stabilize and drop at least a little.

My weight goes up and down all the time. I know that causes it. And ever since I was little I was taught I don't deserve things