Hi everyone, my story is so sad. If you can't take this, better not read this!
I really have a reason that I want to die. Since when I was a little boy, there were some rumors that I was gay. Don't know how that came up, it may be my behavior or something... I've lived all my life being teased at school by all people. This last year I thought that everything changed, because no one seemed to know these rumors at my new school (although there was a kid that really hated me, and I don't know why). But now that it's summer my friend started to behave a little weird. He was avoiding me, making me feel bad an lonely. He's the only good friend I have. So I went to his house to explain me everything. He started telling me that everyone thought I was gay and he didn't want to get the same "label" too. That hurted me soooo much that I went for a walk crying, and I couldn't stand the pain. I ended up here posting this question. My parents don't seem to know about it and I don't want to lose my friend. Life is so unfair... I was thinking that everything was at last OK, but now it seems that the whole world knew about it and the only one that didn't know it was me.
I guess I'll never be able to live a normal life... and don't say that I will, because really, if they find something "gay" on me now, they will for ever...

Firstly, how old are you? We need to know this so that we can help you better.

Well, I'm 16 and from Greece. Ur so quick, I've seen other posts of yours. Thanks for your interest

Well, hun, dying is NOT the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I don't think my prob is temp. This gay think will keep following me all of my life, destroying it... don't know, what will I do when I go to the army for example? I won't be strong enough to take all this humiliation again... anyway, no one cares about a sad greek boy I guess

I would hope you talk to your parents about your feelings and why you feel like dying is your only answer. If they do not know, they cannot help you and they cannot read your mind. Dying is not the answer to deal with life. I know rumours can be vicious and the harm they produce lasts a long time. That is why you really need to talk to someone about what is going on. Hopefully your parents will get you to see a doctor and a counselor. You should not have to deal with these feelings all by yourself.

Do these boys tell you why they think you are gay? You said something about your "behaviors" - can you identify those behaviors? Are they anything different from anyone else? Have you ever spoken to your teacher or school counselor or school nurse? There are people out there who can honestly help you. Being bullied and teased should not be allowed and you have a rightful expectation of being protected from that kind of harassment. But you have to speak up and let people know how much you are hurting.

Good luck to you.

Wait, who are these people to dictate who you are? You got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and show them the REAL you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. They are the ones with the problems if they have to pick on others to make themselves feel better. They are the losers NOT you.

You see, people who feel bad about themselves try to hurt others so that they can feel better. It may have nothing to do with you.

If you are gay, so what, who cares? If you aren't just ignore them, they will grow up someday and be very ashamed of what they did.

And yeah, I care about a greek boy.

Thanks for your answers, I didn't expect you to be that quick. Ummm, I don't think in Greece there are school counselors and school nurses... u see life sucks in this country. But anyway that's not the problem I couldn't tell my parents anyway. And I've thought all these things that you mention. Who are they to judge me? They can't control my life. But you know, I'm so afraid that even when I grow up this will not stop.
My parents also think of getting a new house somewhere else. I don't know if that is a good idea of starting over. Should I go somewhere else, escape from all these, and pretend someone who I'm not? Change my style, my talking, don't know what really is the fault. Should I change me? Should I change John?

John, don't change yourself for anyone but JOHN!!

Talk to a teacher, someone who you respect.

Do you have any idea why these kids are calling you this?

No, I got no idea. It may be my style, that's what one said when I asked him. But I don't want to change my style, and if I don't I'll be called gay for ever. Sometimes I think life's so unfair. I don't know if life AFTER death will be better. Anyway, these rumors helped me lose my best friend. I think that thing will take everyone and everything I love away from me. I think the only thing that I have now is music. And right now, when I think about the new school year, I'm kind of scared. How am I going to make it again with all these teasing and laughing? No way, I can't do this. If death is not a solution, then there's not a solution

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quiero_matarme

Hi everyone, my story is so sad. If you can't take this, better not read this!
I really have a reason that I wanna die. Since when I was a lil boy, there were some rumors that I was gay. Don't kno how that came up, it may be my behavior or something... I've lived all my life being teased at school by all people. This last year I thought that everything changed, coz no one seemed to know these rumors at my new school (although there was a kid that really hated me, and I don't know why). But now that it's summer my friend started to behave a little weird. He was avoiding me, making me feel bad an lonely. He's the only good friend I have. So I went to his house to explain me everything. He started telling me that everyone thought I was gay and he didn't want to get the same "label" too. That hurted me soooo much that I went for a walk crying, and I couldn't stand the pain. I ended up here posting this question. My parents don't seem to know about it and I don't wanna lose my friend. Life is so unfair.... I was thinking that everything was at last ok, but now it seems that the whole world knew about it and the only one that didn't know it was me.
I guess I'll never be able to live a normal life... and don't say that I will, coz really, if they find something "gay" on me now, they will for ever...

---

My mam once asked me if I was a lesbian because I used to hang around with the same girl. We used to get called lemon and lime and although it hurt me inside I never let people see it got to me. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what people think of you its what you to be true. I think you should talk to your parents as they may be able to change your school or give you advice and comfort. Its easier said than done but ignore the people who taunt you and let everyone see the real you. I'm married now with a son and those people who taunted me at school realised that they never got to me and left me alone. If they make jokes play along with them they'll soon get fed up. Your so called fiend however needs to realise that people are who they are and he'll never have or keep many friends if he doesn't stick by one when in need of help and support. Be yourself and enjoy life no matter what people think

Your parents are supposed to be there to help you, not judge you. So now are you saying you are gay? That is not a crime, isn't it? You say they cannot control your life. Well, until you are of the legal adult age, yes, they can control your life to a degree. Your parents are thinking of getting a new house somewhere else. That is not a bad idea. A startover might help you. But if you do not do something positive for yourself, you will carry with all your negative. That is why I suggested seeing your doctor or a counselor/therapist. Greece is not a backward country. Even if you are a homosexual, Greek history is no stranger to that. Whatever your orientation is, you have to start with self acceptance. Do not let others decide for you. You are 16 and on the cusp of becoming a man. Life is not easy, never has been. But you do need to find someone you can trust, to talk to about what all is bundled up inside you.

There are options to suicide. I want you to read through the following articles:
"Suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options" Suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options - MayoClinic.com

Depression: Understanding Thoughts of Suicide
Depression: Understanding Thoughts of Suicide

Suicide: Don't let despair obscure other options - CNN.com
Suicide

And this one, suicide prevention resource in Greece: Selfhelp Programme

Last one: Suicide Prevention Help - Global Web Directory Blog

Believe me, I've changed sooo many schools, but all of my efforts failed. Everywhere was the same gay thing. I used to be optimist about life. I was thinking like that once. But seeing that a normal life will never come, I stopped thinking like this. I guess I'll go to bed now and try to get some strength from my dreams too. See you tomorrow (I hope), bye!

Thanks shygrneyzs, I've just saw your message. I didn't mean my parents that control my life, I meant the people that tease me. I think I should really talk to someone, even talking to you made me feel better. I don't have much time for these articles now, but I PROMISE I'll read them tomorrow first thing in the morning. So see you then. I hope I want have nightmares

LOL. Because of THAT? Listen, people are stupid, don't be one of the stupid masses. Screw what people think, screw 'rumors', and you have NO reason to want to die, I can tell you that right now. You want to hear my stories? You make it sound so bad... I could tell you things that would make you break your own neck, with your own hands.

Are you sure your so called best friend really was your best friend. Because I don't think so at all.
Parents can be comforting to an extent, but the only person whom you should find comfort and acceptance from is YOU.
If you're not gay, is there a girl you might like somewhere?

Hi again!
Got much to say, but I'll try to be sort and brief.
First of all, let me thank shygrneyzs (is that right?) for the documentations. I've read them and they actually helped me. The greek one was about drugs. Doesn't matter anyway. I've speaked to a friend of mine as you consulted me and she understood what I'm through. That was really good. Furthermore I was on holidays the last few days, and that helped me think about life another way. But still I'm not sure that I can speak to my "so called best friend" again. What he've done was really awful. I can't even go to the square, because I'm sort of shy of the people. How am I going to get over this?
LOL-001-06-H I would really like to listen to your problems! I thought that mine was the worst of all, but I guess I'm not right. And lastly, METERRE, after all this, I don't think Nik was so good a friend.
Thanks again guys!

I went through the same thing all through out school, I was always the shy kid that just sat in the back of the class, and didn't really talk with people. For some reason, everyone loved to pick on me, call me gay, or pretty much just do anything they could think of to torture me in some way. I've been out of school for 5 years now, and let me tell you from personal experience, life gets better! I have been at my current job for 7 years now, and am working on starting my own business. I still see a lot of the people that used to make fun of me... they are normally serving me at a restaurant. As much as I hate to put people down, that is a good feeling to know that you are doing good in life, and see how little the ones that used to make fun of you have. The biggest piece of advice I can give you, is to set yourself a goal on where you want to be, and do what ever it takes to make sure you get there, death is NOT the answer!

Good Luck!

SuddenImpact, I've got to mention that I always was throughout all my school years the shy one with no friends. Sat alone at lunch. And well you know the story. But I was extremely shy which led to some other problems I won't mention right now. Lots of difficulty in the social area and not only in school but everywhere you can think of. Right after entering High School, it affected me to not have any friends and be made fun of because of this and because of that. When it wasn't one thing, it was the other. That was one of the causes that triggered depression in me. Then all I wanted to do was either die or disappear. I couldn't take it any longer, my grades started to fall, and I got disconnected for quite a while from reality. Didn't know which was which, always stuck in my own world.
Well I'm sorry I said all that in this post. I just wanted to show quiero_matarme that he's not the only one that went or is going through very difficult phases of life. There is far worse than what is happening to you. And I don't want to sound sarcastic or rude but you're lucky it's only that. But you know what, there was a phase where I just got completely fed up with those feelings of worthlessness and decided to ask for help. I asked God for help... but before that I was actually praying to him to take my life and end my pain, but instead he answered my other prayers which showed that I had hope of living a better life. He started showing me ways in which I could help myself. It was and is amazing because it hasn't been long since I noticed he started doing that. He still is showing me ways.
Now I can't say I'm over all that happened to me, because not so long ago was when I started healing. Still am in the process, still will take time, but I have faith that it will all be better.
And I truly hope it gets a lot better for you.

Thanks guys. But you know, calling you gay is not the best thing. I try to cover things up every time, so no one else will learn it. I think I can make it too now. It's good talking to you. I think God can help me too. I know it's going to take a long time, but... 2 more years and high school will be over! Then I'll have my own life, and I hope that it will be better. And yes, there's a girl that I like, I think I'm in love with her but nothing is going to happen. I know it... that's another problem :). Anyway, thanks again. I'll keep visiting this website helping others or updating this post with whatever comes up. Hope we keep in touch, you really help me. Bye

I do understand your feelings I too am a rather extremely shy person I had friends and dear people but my father died I moved lost friends things I had done around everything in my life and my mother physically but I do not need to describe it in details

I know it is hard yet you will think in another way another day

I do not know if that friend really was your friend or if he just was a person who wanted to know you yet not do the slightest sacrifice such a person is not a friend in reality

I too can be called gay or other things be picked on although it has ended I have always denied girls going to me with love affairs though I simply did not like any I do like one girl but I am extremely shy many people tried to pick on me

But the only things I did was ignore everyone everything I am locked up inside and I have done things and I have special factors and things people do wish to use against me and people wish to destroy those who are different

But tell me even if you are gay is that something wrong

And I do not believe that you are a gay although if you were or are what is the problem no one cares one why should you listen to people who shall fail in life and serve you that coffee one day?Or worse wash the streets where you walk


Do not listen to such yes it is hard your age takes things to itself I do have this strategy total ignorance I do not show the slightest sign of that it happens I am is if nothing had happened yet at the start of my year I did end up in a fight that broke my finger and hurt some people...


You can also give a argument which I also do at times when someone does something like insulting my father yet I do not show weak points you must not do it either they wish to se it against you

Fools nature...


A good argument can shatter them completely these days I have completely got it wiped out yes some people try to pick on me because I am unique and I am the youngest person in the school(due to class jump)and tomorrow I am 13 the 26th July 2007

You must not give up have hopes keep to your friends as the friend you have that can make you talk out better seems to help you indeed although it is possible that you shall lock yourself do not do that you can lock yourself from those idiots go on that is a good thing!

Yet not from the world and do not kill yourself will it bring people around you good and what about you

I am insisting you try you do not have to change yourself and if there is a insist you can try approaching the girl you do think you are in love with I am extremely shy and do not know if I can or not yet I know I should I know this might sound stupid like you have to do it but I do not have to because of some strange reason

NO! I do not mean to offend you by any means I am just speaking the truth go for your happiness if you really like her I do not know if you should start again I mean if it goes wrong you are free to do it but do yourself a favour try you do not have anything to lose now do you?Acctualy you can only gain as that also is a proof you are not gay although you do not have to prove anything to idiots

Although I am not a person who believes in god as a upcome

Thanks gaia, your answer was really helpful. But I don't think that I can approach the girl I like either. For some strange reason... Anyway, that's what I'm trying to do now. Show no interest, ignore everybody who's against me. Yesterday, they were teasing me again, I was out with two girls and 3 idiot kids came to tease me again. I wish I had punched them so they could see who I really am. But then I remembered all these posts to this website and I said "it's not worth". Besides, the girls supported me. Anyway, thanks for all that help. My only hope now is to move houses!

I hope you find the answer.

Indeed although a punch might help acctualy if id be you I would punch them when you are on on one such fools cover behind one another admit when do you see a bully himself bully others? You can't always go out with nothing and be defenceless although this might hurt but it's true take them out one by one when they are alone

Although I myself would get that impulse of a punch, I would have to say responding with violence can and will cause you deeper problems than what you're already in. Please do not consider that. Violence is not the answer... they'll get what they deserve soon enough, it's worked for me. Someone treated me like garbage and later I found out they paid for it in some way. That was enough for me.
Just try to think about it better, whatever action you do take, know that it will have consequences whether favorable or not.

Moving to another house is not a good solution... it just means that you are letting them win and get the last word. Just ignore them. And if they don't realize how great you are, then it's their loss.:)

Yeah, I know that it's not a good solution but the truth is that they won. What is left for me?

Holding your head high! Don't let some ignorant people ruin your life and make you run away. You should just be yourself and if they don't like it then you can ignore them. I honestly wish there was something I could do foryou, but all I can do is give advice, and wish you the best.<3

Hey mate, most my life I've been asked the question "are you gay???!!!"
But I'm not, I'm straight, but hey, they don't do it any more.
How old are you? Maybe you're the age I was, I'm 15, almost 16 and people have mostly grown out of it by my age.
I think the reason people sometimes suspected I was gay is because most my friends are chicks and because I'm a more emotional deep person but I'm straight.
Don't let what people say get to you, you are what you are, so what they say you are has no bearing or effect on what you really are.
Just ignore the people who put you down, their opinions aren't worth the time it takes to say them.
If there's a girl you like, and she likes you, go out with her, it may hurt you, but its worth trying anyway. If she doesn't like you, well I've found that the only way I get over someone is by liking someone new. Just remember that every rejection every heartbreak is just narrowing it down, until you find that special someone.

School is dicfficult, I too was accused of be in gay. That was because I had a twin. School life was bad and I too wanted to die. But I never gave up. They can call you names my friend they can beat you they can spit on you they can embarrase you and humiliate you but you are you and they can never change that unless you let them . You are stronger than that stand on your feet you can do it I did. You have to fight from your mind, think things and try to push it to one side, you won't succeed but it helps. Its good if you have a friend out of your school to talk to. You can get counceling its confidential by law so its worth a try, if you do nothing else fight from within. You are better than these people, your sexuality is not the issue its about your character.

There are simply idiots like that and there shall always be yes school life may be bad it can be even worse if you do not have friends but it shall be better and you are not doomed to be stained likle this for all your school time I am another person at the start of school I got in a fight the first Friday with three people already for being unique but that is all

You must stand strong I do not have friends for reasons that I cannot find anyone and I do constantly move so there is no need of losing contacts

But you do not have to give up and I think you have friends even if not stand strong do not let them get to you think about it why should you listen to people who are going to be so much worse in life then you

The ones who one day will beg you for money wash the streets or even the toilet you have just been in my friend

You can better give them a strong word and inded it is good if you have support but you can also hit theyr weak spot it does sometimes work as I said have you ever seen a bully bully alone?You can often hit that spot as an example

They do hit on most people especially if you are unique and do not care if they say things whitch are unreal and impossible that they say it is not a proof it is the opposite in reality

Take a smile on your face and think of them one day as they sit on the streets begging for money when they cannot even buy food or when they scrub the toilet after you be glad with that thought I myself have gotten other contacts and I had rights whitch I am glad enough to have approved whitch absoulutely wiped out some so called bullies

The rights to make them go to a home for parentless children taking away whole theyr life that thought still makes me smile today as I have as you can say control over some things including another thing in my school yet I have no needs to use that my friend as ruining ones life is a good possibility to have but why do it myself when I can wait till they do it themselves while they are in fear of being torn apart

I used to think life is fair, but as the time was passing I changed my mind. I don't think that they will scrub toilets or something else. Everything will be OK for them but not for me. I guess that's the way it goes, some people succeed in life some not! I hope I won't end up taking pills to kill my depression. Thanks by the way!

You say you don't think that they will clean the toilet, but to be honest you will be supprised. When I was at school I was told that I would come to nothing, then the teachers seemed to have there favorates. It's a load of rubbish, most of the teachers pets especially the ones that poked fun at me are doing crappy jobs getting crap money living a crappy life. You my friend have a choice, live the life you want. Think one good thing each day. It is harder to love than it is to hate. One thing is sure you can't truly love others unless you learn to love yourself. And you do have to learn. I bet if you listed all the things you did in a day and all the things you say there will be some good your not all bad very few people are. You can only pick yourself up if you want to and you can only grow stronger through hard times. If no one else is rootin for you I am. You will grow up to be an amazing person you can get through this hard time. Just do one day at a time.

Fairness is a man made concept.
what we call "karma" is in a way, cause and effect.
you push, the worlds pushes back.
you be a bad person, people react to it. You alienate people. You anger them.
what goes around, comes around. It really does.
also, when you sin, it pulls you down into more sin. And sin hurts you as much as it hurts the victims, because in truth, the sinner is a victim of temptation.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quiero_matarme

Hi everyone, my story is so sad. If you can't take this, better not read this!
I really have a reason that I wanna die. Since when I was a lil boy, there were some rumors that I was gay. Don't kno how that came up, it may be my behavior or something... I've lived all my life being teased at school by all people. This last year I thought that everything changed, coz no one seemed to know these rumors at my new school (although there was a kid that really hated me, and I don't know why). But now that it's summer my friend started to behave a little weird. He was avoiding me, making me feel bad an lonely. He's the only good friend I have. So I went to his house to explain me everything. He started telling me that everyone thought I was gay and he didn't want to get the same "label" too. That hurted me soooo much that I went for a walk crying, and I couldn't stand the pain. I ended up here posting this question. My parents don't seem to know about it and I don't wanna lose my friend. Life is so unfair.... I was thinking that everything was at last ok, but now it seems that the whole world knew about it and the only one that didn't know it was me.
I guess I'll never be able to live a normal life... and don't say that I will, coz really, if they find something "gay" on me now, they will for ever...

---

None of that is a reason to want to die If people think that you are gay then let them and if your friend won't hang with you because he doesn't want to be labeled then he isn't a real friend is he. And if you still feel uncomfortable then confront them and talk to you parents about it. Everyone gets made fun of but it is no reason to kill yourself because there are people who love you and care about you and you would just be hurting them. Best of Luck.

You must be a fool if you think they will be OK

Besides

No matter to what fortune teller you go you shall know that they shall scrub the toilets

Ze toilets must be very pleased.

But please, do not look down on the humble toilet scrubber, it's a necessary occupation in this modern world.

Don't kill yourself over what others think. There are so many who love you, you just may not have nmet them yet.

Dude first off there are like millions of gay people in the world I know how you feel and thank you for sharing your little story with us I use this site sometimes lol... you should just act cool with everyone... even gay people have lots of friends it's not like you can't be cool with any one I respect people by the way they are but not everyone will however... just try to avoid it and you don't need to let everyone know your gay take care...

You are what you are it is not truly important to what gender you are attracted your happiness is what truly plays a role

People who insult that are truly fools , yes unfortunately there is discrimination but you cannot let it go to you and that they say something does not mean anything by any means

Who do you wish to listen to

People who aren't knowing enough to pass to the next class or a wise man\woman whitch truly knows about life

So do not listen to them as they probably shall end up like for an example a man at a park who started ans stopped attractions by pressing a button with minimal payment and such low intellect that he did not even understand my way of forming words

Be happy, do not care for what others say and they ussualy say one yet think another

It may be hard I understand I am thirteen after all in the end my biological body cannot grow at a higher speed nor will I become older by any other way then letting the time pass

Be happy in life it may be a little bad now yet it will change sooner or later my friend