Why did he cut me off so cold and cut me out of his life completely?
History : (He was locked up for 10 years for armed robbery from the age of 16 to his current age 27.) Our relationship started while he was in there and only lasted for 1 month before things got sour and ended. I knew of him from childhood. We went to elementary and middle school together.
My boyfriend (now ex) and I were together for a year and 5 months. Everything was great up until about 3 weeks ago when his attitude changed toward me. We got into an argument at the movie theater because he blew me off when I tried to talk to him and everything went down hill from there. His calls and texts stopped coming as much. The sweet language almost completely stooped, and he stopped making time to spend with me. His tone and language in how he talks to me got very disrespectful to the point that he would get irritated every time I would try and talk to him. I could ask him "do you miss me"? And he would blow up and get angry and respond by yelling " why you ask a stupid *** question!? I couldn't believe it. I told him not to ever talk to me like that I asked him if he wanted me to stop calling and leave him alone and he told me to shut up and if I ever said anything like that again, to dead myself and move on with life because the relationship will be over with. Those words hurt like hell and the conversation ended with him hanging up on me. The following day he ignored all my calls and texts and for the next 4 days after that I didn't hear from him. The fifth day I couldn't take it anymore so I went over to his house and he was just purely cold. Every time I tried to touch him, he would tell me to get off of him, he didn't want me to touch him, kiss him, nothing, he even told me to fix my dress when I sat down because he didn't want to see that! All of this was shocking and hurtful. He told me that he wasn't going to call me and that he is acting like this because he doesn't want to talk to me and needs space away from me because he said that I ask him too many questions and argue with him too much. I asked him how he felt about me and he said " I care about you" I asked him if he loved me and he said " I'm not going to answer that because I don't have to" in the end, he said "let's just be friends" I asked him if he doesn't want to be with me and he said no. he said I deserve better and he has some ****** up ways and he doesn't want to end up hurting me.
I just don't understand how his feelings could go from loving me to death to hating me in just 3 weeks. If I didn't go over there, he would still be ignoring and not calling me. He couldn't even confront me about all this, I had to make him.
Being away from me and not hearing from me doesn't seem to bother him not one bit! Ever since the day he told me wanted to be friends, I haven't heard from him. But he told a friend of his that we were ok and he just needed his space because he felt like he was still locked up. He said I was still his lady and he still loved me and wanted to marry me. On the other hand, he told his sister that he just wants us to be friends until he gets himself together, and then he told another friend that he just wants to be friends because I am acting childish. Isn't this confusing....
Part 2
Family got involved in our relationship, he told me that he needed space but then decided in the same day that we should just be friends and that he didn't want to be with me b/c I deserve better (BS) I was devastated. I told him I couldn't be his friend and did NC for about 3 weeks. Then I received a text from his number telling me that he never cared.etc. Of course that hurt so when my mom found out about it, she gave him a piece of her mind and spoke to his father about the vindictive things he was doing. It was revealed that he didn't send that message which meant that someone was playing with his or my phone. After that, he told family members to ignore and stop talking to "that girl" another insult that tore at my heart b/c I went from "wife", to "that girl"
I left him alone for about a month. I spoke to a friend of mine and she insisted that I follow my heart and call him. I called and he sent my call to voice mail. I was so hurt because even after 4 weeks he still would not talk to me. It ate me up so bad that the next day I called again, private because I felt that if he heard my voice maybe it would be different. He answered and asked who it was, once he heard it was me, he hung up again. I am trying everything to get myself through this situation but I feel like I am going in circles. I wrote a heartfelt text to his sister asking her to give me advice as if I was her sister or daughter and she completely ignored me which made me feel worse. He obviously hates me by the way he is acting and I just don't understand why his sister would treat me like that especially when we used to be so close. I looked at her as my own sister, even helped her find a job when she got laid off and she just ignored me when I just asked her for advice.
A former inmate of his that was locked up with him heard about what he had did to me and called to talk to me. He told me that I am a beautiful, educated woman and can have any man I want. He said that he is stupid because anyone in their right mind wouldn't let someone like me go or do wrong to the one and only person that was there at the lowest point of his life when no one else was. He says that he speaks to him all the time and he asked him about why he didn't want to be with me and said that he couldn't even give a reason. He said that my ex is having a hard time adjusting and wants the finer things too fast and he is moving too fast and sounds like he is losing his mind. He told me that I am a good girl and I don't deserve that treatment and to not chase the rabbit.
Later on, he told me that my ex feels that he can do better than me.
I'm not going to keep going about what he said but it made me feel batter but now I'm sad all over again because I really think he hates me. Why else would someone act like that? Being with him while he was locked up wasn't easy at all and was very stressful at times but I never gave up on him. Now that he got out, it was so easy for him to let me go and give up on us just because of arguments and me asking him questions. I just hate it because it hurts SOOOOO much because he doesn't want anything to do with me and I still don't know what I did that was wrong. I am tired of making a fool of myself and I don't know what to do. Why is this so hard?
It has been over 2 months since he broke my heart and left me.
I am not doing well at all. One minute I can be fine and the next minute my heart is killing me. I am hurting so bad because I keep remembering how sweet he was and how he was always about me when he was in prison and even for a month after he got out. He always told me that he will always be in love with me and promised to never hurt me or leave me. Then he changed after a huge argument and I am left with the guilt that if I didn't have that argument, everything would still be the way it was. I start thinking that maybe I shouldn't have argued with him, or maybe I should have given him space to hang out. But my friends and family said that it isn't me and if he really loved me he wouldn't have treated me like he did.
I keep hearing things that he is doing from people that see him and come back to me. Hearing that he is going on in life seemingly happy while I am in pain hurts me even more because I don't know what I did for him to hate me and sever all ties with me. I don't understand how he could do this to me and that's the thought that cross my mind every day. I replay the pain he has caused me over and over in my head and no matter what I do it doesn't help me and I am still stuck in the pain. Sometimes my mind makes me believe that I am the only one he treats this way and will only treat me this way and that when he moves on, she will get what I used to have. That thought kills me because I don't know what happened... What am I not seeing? Yes people said he didn't want the relationship but just because you don't want a relationship, you don't have to treat someone like he did or display such hatred. Where did it come from? What am I not seeing?
I was the only one there besides his family, why would he cut me out so cold?
I am referring to relationships with significant others. My ex did 10 years for armed robbery and I stood by him for the last 2 years of his sentence. I knew of him when we were kids because we went to elementary school together but I didn't get to know him until I found out about him being locked up and I reached out to him because I felt bad for his situation and wanted to see if he was OK. At first it was completely platonic but he quickly pursued it into a relationship.
When he got out this past February, things were only good for about a month. I say good because immediately noticed that he wasn't the same man I had been talking to and fell in love with for the past 2 years. NONE of his actions matched his words and it seemed as though once he got out, he forgot about me. He showed love but after an argument, that love went right out the window. He started to become emotionally and verbally abusive, and any and everything came before me. I couldn't ask him questions without him getting angry, he started disrespecting me in public and private and he started excluding me from his life, less phone calls, text messages, etc. It didn't really bother him that we weren't around each other much. The more I tried to find understanding in the behavior, the worse he got towards me till he just broke up with me all together. After the break up and brutal words were exchanged from my mother to him, he cut me out of his life completely. It was like I never existed. When he broke up with me, he was so cold and cruel that it took me a couple of hours after the break up to process what had actually happened.
I will never forget the amount of pain that I felt that day when he vindictively displayed hatred towards me. His family has cut me off and no longer talks to me either. Everyone I spoke to said that he couldn't give a reason as to why he broke up with me but they said that he would spaz if anyone even mentioned my name telling them not to mention me in his presence. He even told another that he feels that he can do better than me as though I am not good enough.
What I am getting at is if the long stint I prison (10 years) form the age of 16
Caused this type of behavior?
What would make a man turn on his woman who stood by him and put her life on hold for him in the cold and cruel way that he did. Yes people break up, but he didn't have to do it the way that he did. He acts as though he hates me and has seemed to forget or not care about all I have done for him for the past 2 years. He doesn't owe me anything because I did it out of the kindness of my heart but I thought that he would at least give respect.
It hurts to know that I can't talk to him even if I wanted to, that complete strangers, and the people who abandoned him for the past 10 years can talk and interact with him but I cant. It hurts like ******** because he doesn't want anything to do with me and I don't even know why. He has severed ALL ties and doesn't seem to feel bad about it or miss me at all.
Advice please. Can anyone shed some light on this because I don't understand. Thanks in advance.