We have been dating on and off for 2 years now, I really want us to think about the future and the next step in our relationship. But every time I try to ask him about us or try to discuss our future he ended um leaving me or ignore me for days. Please help me, I love him so much and I don't want to loose him but is there a happy future for us.

You are the other woman and he is not going to leave you for his wife.
It rarely happens.

I have seen this scenario play out so many times and the *other woman* gets hurt ,left alone and has nothing..

You're a fool to believe what a cheater and lair says.
And he is a cheater and liar.
Protect yourself and walk away from him,he is damaged goods.

If, after two years, he is still not willing to talk about a future with you, that means there won't be one.

I am only going to echo the other posts,just to get the point across..

Its been two wasted years of love,on your part.

He is not going to leave his wife for you,find someone who will love you and give you the relationship you want and need.

Also... on the off chance he did leave his wife for you,what's to say that you won't be the one wondering where he is, and if he has found another play thing.

I'm not saying once a cheater always a cheater,only he had no problem cheating on his wife,he may not have a problem doing the same thing to you.

There is a particular book that all these guys get their lines from - it's called The Book of Lies. In this book they are always going to leave their wives, the sex is bad and you are wonderful. Sorry, but it never ends well. They rarely leave their wives, they still have sex with them and you're left out in the cold.

If he won't discuss your future and ignores you when you try to talk to him about it - then, I think you have your answer. There is no happy future with him.

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Originally Posted by Normababe

We have been dating on and off for 2 years now, i really want us to think about the future and the next step in our relationship. But everytime i try to ask him about us or try to discuss our future he ended um leaving me or ignore me for days. please help me, i love him so much and i dont want to loose him but is there a happy future for us.

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He is married. So let's not call it "dating", because it's not. It's CHEATING. You are having sex with someone's husband.

He is USING you. He gets mad when you bring up the future? Have you ever wondered why? I'll tell you why. He has a woman who gives him sex, treats him good, listens to WHATEVER he says, and doesn't want him to cut the grass, pick up his clothes, all the things that he SHOULD be doing. But you ruin his little perfect world by bringing up reality.

If he wanted to leave his wife, don't you think that he would have already?

You should tell him it's over, as you're tired of being used.

Maybe go to a counselor to try to get to the issue of lack of self respect, that has gotten you into this type of relationship in the first place.

Find a man who isn't married. The world is full of guys that would be perfect for you. Yet this guy is stringing you along, and keeping you from that.

You provide a service for him.

Does he love the dry cleaner who cleans his shirts?

Does he love the mechanic who works on his car?

Does he love the cook at the diner who makes him breakfast when his "horrible" wife doesn't feel up to it?

NO. He doesn't love them, and he doesn't love you.

I'm sorry for being so blunt, but it makes me angry when people lie, cheat, and manipulate others for personal gain.

Go live your life happy. And not on a shelf, being pulled down when this guy wants to "play".

GOD bless you, and all the others out there just like you.

Forget him oviosly he doesn't no what's good for him and if he can't decide tell him to decide her or you if he feels the same about you then he will choose you if not then your going to no he's not worth your time anymore

I agree with all of the above.

I think that you should sit down and think about what you're involved in and what type of person you're involved with.

You need to wake up and smell the lies, and what I'm about to say might seem repetitive, but I think its important that you wake up and see the reality of things.

1. he is married, which means that whenever he leaves you he goes back to her, and when he isn't spending the night with you, he spends the night with a woman he has promised to love and to cherish... the vows you make when you marry someone is pretty serious stuff... besides would you really want a person who doesn't take this serious?

2. If he was ever going to leave his wife for you, he would have done this when meeting you. He hasn't done this... and he never will.

3. You see this as dating, he sees you as a piece of a** on the side

4. you need to look at what type of person he is: what type of person would marry one person and then sleep with someone else on the side for almost 2 years? And if he ever left his wife (which he most likely will not do!) could you ever trust him? I think not!

This might be love from your side, but I highly doubt it is love from his side. You need to get out of this, even though it might be hard to let go of someone you've invested 2 years into... but this will never go any further...

Your relationship and connection with this man is what it is; he is married and you are the other woman... you need to see this, accept it, chalk it up to a bad investment/bad choice and move on...

Move on and find someone who isn't married, who isn't taken, someone who is available to build a relationship with you.

First "stop loving him" that is a personal thing, you may love him till the day you die. But you have to stop seeing him, you don't date him ( and you don't date a married man, you are cheating with him)

So you break it off, tell him to call you when and only when he is finally divorced

You should leave this man immediately.
He does NOT love you and will NOT leave his wife for you. THis has been going on for two years, and it still isn't plain as day to you?

Don't make excuses for him and say "he doesn't really love his wife" or "unhappy marraige" This is ALL that men like this ever say, and for some reason, You fall for it! He has NO backbone. If he is having problems with the relationship then HE needs to grow a pair and work to fix it.

Instead he's getting his jollies rocked from an easily convinced and easily manipulated woman. Why work on a commitment he has made FOR life (because that is what marriage is supposed to be), when he can take the easy route and go find another woman to put his hands all over? You're the easy route, his reason for not doing the right thing. He's having his cake and eating it too, and you're enabling it. You need to have enough moral integrity to see what's right in front of you: he is MARRIED bottom line, this is NOT right under any circumstances..

Put yourself in his wife's shoes for a minuet, REALLY do it. If he was your husband, and you found out that he had been cheating on you with her for two years while you were married, wouldn't you feel absolutely disgusted? Not to mention hurt, and confused and angry and sick and USED.

And on the Off-chance that he does end up with you, who's to say he Won't do his to you? He's getting away with it now, why not do it again? It's too easy.

I guarantee that he doesn't care about you the way you think you care about him. If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't put it off for two years.

He is with a wife. He's not going to give up that kind of security for you. You're his little plaything.

Have you ever heard the saying "guys will stell you anything" Well he's doing it, he's saying whatever he needs to to keep you around so that he can keep using you..

If I have left anything out, someone, please add it.

It is unfortunate that being in love doesn't come with a list of conditions that everybody follows 100%.

It is also unfortunate when you find yourself in love, that there isn't a switch that can simply turn it off.

Love doesn't discriminate between married or single. This very powerful emotion can have you doing things that you never thought you would do.

Our divorce rate in N. America speaks to the millions of others who also fall in love with a married man or woman. You are not alone in falling in love, and you are not alone in falling in love with a married man.

The place you are in right now, is not good for you. You may love him, and I believe you do, but he has chosen his wife and family, over you. I think it is good you know that now, and are realizing what it means to your future.

For him to choose you, he would have to divorce his wife. You have already waited two years for him to make a move to end his marriage, and have a future solely with you. That is long enough to know that your perception of a future with him, is not the same as his. Even if he loves you, he's not willing to give up, or change life as he knows it.

It is a shame to see you stuck in this place, waiting and hoping that he will leave his wife, and as long as you do that, your life is on hold.

Love will never allow you to have this man, it simply is not enough. I hope that you realize you are investing your time with a person who will not budge, and never will.

To end the relationship, gives you freedom. Freedom to choose a mate that is available, and has no attachments. A mate who can plan a future with you, have children, and all the other joys of having someone, just for you.

You may love him until the day you die. Some little part of you will always wish things had worked out. But, you can move on, and not waste anymore time with the little bit of his life that he gives you.

Good luck to you.