Ask Me Help Desk - Date with a celebrity

Date with a celebrity

I am now interested in a celebrity. I wish to get relationship (at least close friend) with her. She is still new entertainer and start to have popularity. If I request her to visit her home, is it OK? I am planned to give some presents and do conversation. Is there chances to OK? Please give advice to me.

Thank you.

Talk to her, see what she says. Do you know each other on some social level?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Talk to her, see what she says. Do you know each other on some social level?

We have Facebook contact. But I am afraid that she will think it is not good( like rude) to her and no acceptance. However, I will try it. One way is better than no way. Right?

Thank you for your answer.

The custom is for a date, or some type of meeting in person (coffee?), before you ask to come to her home.

All you have is a Facebook contact... nothing more. MILLIONS of people have that much with people they will never meet.

I suggest forgetting this one and find someone local to you that you actually would have a chance with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

All you have is a Facebook contact... nothing more. MILLIONS of people have that much with people they will never meet.

I suggest forgetting this one and find someone local to you that you actually would have a chance with.

We are in same city. Is it worth to try it? I don't want to satisfy with just Facebook.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

The custom is for a date, or some type of meeting in person (coffee?), before you ask to come to her home.

OK. I will try. Thank you.

Worth a try... yes if you are willing to walk away if you get shot down at first.

Point I was getting at I forgot to mention in my previous post is it's a long shot, a real long shot. Don't get your hopes up too much because you are most likely setting yourself up for a letdown.

Have you had private conversations with her? Have you even been friended? If the answer is no to either of the above, then you are just a fan and probably have no chance.

If her Facebook page is set to not accept messages, don't try.
If you are a Follower but not Friend, REALLY give up!
Even if she isn't well known yet, chances are she is scared of requests from strangers, as she should be.
There is NO WAY she can know that you are a nice guy, no matter what you say.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Have you had private conversations with her? Have you even been friended? If the answer is no to either of the above, then you are just a fan and probably have no chance.

We have private chatting but not oral speaking. And we are just like Facebook friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

If her Facebook page is set to not accept messages, don't try.
If you are a Follower but not Friend, REALLY give up!
Even if she isn't well known yet, chances are she is scared of requests from strangers, as she should be.
There is NO WAY she can know that you are a nice guy, no matter what you say.

As she is still becoming famous, she have private account. I contact with her through this account. We chatted for about 2 weeks. She don't know me at outside. Because of your saying, I am a little confused am I should start or not? Please tell me more detail. THank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Worth a try... yes if you are willing to walk away if you get shot down at first.

Point I was getting at I forgot to mention in my previous post is it's a long shot, a real long shot. Don't get your hopes up too much because you are most likely setting yourself up for a letdown.

OK. I will try what you said.

Do not request a visit to her home. That is creepy ans stalkerish. Ask her out for a cup of coffee, or a walk in the park.

You will never know what the outcome will be unless you give it a try.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You will never know what the outcome will be unless you give it a try.

I need ideas and strategy. According to your saying, I don't need to ask anymore. Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Do not request a visit to her home. That is creepy ans stalkerish. Ask her out for a cup of coffee, or a walk in the park.

Creepy? I don't think so. Can a girl willing to date with someone that she never met at outside? I think that it is more difficult. I am trying to go to her home as her fan and greet with her family. I want to say that is my strategy. Is it good?

Yes. Creepy. A man waits until he is visited to the woman's home.

You never asked a girl out before? You just ask her.

Quote:

I am trying to go to her home as her fan and greet with her family. I want to say that is my strategy. Is it good?

LOUSY idea! Send some flowers after her next gig, see what happens. Show your interest and see what she does about it. You have been talking over Facebook for two weeks, how much more opportunity do you need?

Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You never asked a girl out before? You just ask her.

LOUSY idea! Send some flowers after her next gig, see what happens. Show your interest and see what she does about it. You have been talking over Facebook for two weeks, how much more opportunity do you need?

Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Yes. Creepy. A man waits until he is visited to the woman's home.

I don't understand your usage. Wait for what?

J_9 meant 'invited,' not visited.
Western, eastern, you don't go to anyone's home without permission. It is OK to ask, but most of us think that is setting yourself up for a big fat no. If you ask in a way that includes her parents as an important reason for invading her privacy, then maybe that is a cultural difference that is acceptable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean999

We have private chatting but not oral speaking. And we are just like Facebook friend.

As she is still becoming famous, she have private account. I contact with her through this account. We chatted for about 2 weeks. She don't know me at outside. Because of your saying, I am a little confused am I should start or not? Please tell me more detail. THank you.

OK, so you have privately chatted. Then this becomes simple. You open a chat and you say; "I have greatly enjoyed talking with you and I would like to get to know you better. Can we meet some place for coffee or dinner?'

If she is agreeable set a time and place. If not, drop it.

Quote:

Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.

Culture has little to do with understanding feelings between man and woman so go ahead try what you feel is best for you. It's your chance to dance so just do it.

Everybody here is from a western culture dude. We don't get love through parents first, but if you think it best then go for it and get about it. May as well tell you straight though guy you are about talking rather than doing so who are you trying to convince that you need to do something about those feelings besides TALK?

I know for fact that many guys in your culture would have already asked her for her time while you dither around. Why not just talk to her parents instead of her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean999

Thank you for your ideas. But I realize that we have culture difference. You can't understand my feelings. You are from western. Right? However, thanks for your time.

Yes, we can understand your feelings. Do you understand your feelings?

You have been chatting with her for two weeks over Facebook. Now you want to visit her house and her parents without her giving an invitation. Manipulating her into giving one is not the same as her freely inviting you. That is essentially wanting to invade her personal space. The only place she has to retreat to when she isn't performing or subject to people recognizing her and bothering her. It isn't the place for 'fans'.

If you want to be her friend, continue chatting. Get to know her as an individual. Make certain you aren't confusing a public persona/image with who she really is. Many public figures especially singers and actors are very different people at home than they portray when out in the public eye. She needs people in her life who are willing to allow her to be herself instead of wanting her to be a fantasy based on a public image.

It is not fair to her if you are pursuing a fantasy and cannot accept the real person.

Next caution, are you certain you are chatting with the person you think you are? It is not uncommon for someone to pretend to be someone else on Fb. Some even use a friend/family member's Fb page and pretend to be that person.

Having read many posts over the years from people all over the globe who thought they were falling for or in love with a person they had very limited contact with, I am going to say that you should not ask her out if you cannot take 'no' for an answer. If you think your life is going to be over just because she said 'no', take a step back. Get your emotions and yourself under control. Too often people forget that the other person may not share their feelings. Don't get so caught up in yours, that you forget hers.

Well said Cat. Fear of rejection and lack of experience or confidence isn't a cultural thing. It's pretty universal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Yes, we can understand your feelings. Do you understand your feelings?

You have been chatting with her for two weeks over Facebook. Now you want to visit her house and her parents without her giving an invitation. Manipulating her into giving one is not the same as her freely inviting you. That is essentially wanting to invade her personal space. The only place she has to retreat to when she isn't performing or subject to people recognizing her and bothering her. It isn't the place for 'fans'.

If you want to be her friend, continue chatting. Get to know her as an individual. Make certain you aren't confusing a public persona/image with who she really is. Many public figures especially singers and actors are very different people at home than they portray when out in the public eye. She needs people in her life who are willing to allow her to be herself instead of wanting her to be a fantasy based on a public image.

It is not fair to her if you are pursuing a fantasy and cannot accept the real person.

Next caution, are you certain you are chatting with the person you think you are? It is not uncommon for someone to pretend to be someone else on Fb. Some even use a friend/family member's Fb page and pretend to be that person.

Having read many posts over the years from people all over the globe who thought they were falling for or in love with a person they had very limited contact with, I am going to say that you should not ask her out if you cannot take 'no' for an answer. If you think your life is going to be over just because she said 'no', take a step back. Get your emotions and yourself under control. Too often people forget that the other person may not share their feelings. Don't get so caught up in yours, that you forget hers.

Thank you for your ideas. I feel that I get ideas from my close friend. I am really appreciated it. And I feel that you a little worried about me. Thank you again. I haven't tried yet some of the steps that you said. So, I need times to do this. I will try to get the real person of her. I am bad in emotion management. However, I will never give up. I can wait, I can learn more ideas and I will take more times. But Give up is not my subject. I found many things that I didn't think in your answer. I will consider about it.
Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

J_9 meant 'invited,' not visited.
Western, eastern, you don't go to anyone's home without permission. It is OK to ask, but most of us think that is setting yourself up for a big fat no. If you ask in a way that includes her parents as an important reason for invading her privacy, then maybe that is a cultural difference that is acceptable.

Haha, I don't want to invade. OK. I will forget about visiting her home but not her. I will try another ways. Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Culture has little to do with understanding feelings between man and woman so go ahead try what you feel is best for you. It's your chance to dance so just do it.

Everybody here is from a western culture dude. We don't get love through parents first, but if you think it best then go for it and get about it. May as well tell you straight though guy you are about talking rather than doing so who are you trying to convince that you need to do something about those feelings besides TALK?

I know for fact that many guys in your culture would have already asked her for her time while you dither around. Why not just talk to her parents instead of her?

When I tried my former girlfriend, I thought nothing and just did it. Now I get a little fear because she is a celebrity.
I think that my thinking make a little bother to you. If like that, sorry about it. Your saying is effective. Its make my thinking clear. So now I don't say any other things. I just focus on getting the date with her and for the place, let her choose. OK? Thank you.