Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Dating (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=374)
-   -   Should I wait to message this girl I asked out at her job? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=816299)

  • Sep 18, 2015, 10:55 PM
    lordstannis
    Should I wait to message this girl I asked out at her job?
    So, I went to a store today with my sister, we were looking around and I kept making eye contact with this really cute girl that works there, I made a joke, she laughed and we left. Anyway, I went back and my sister went to a different store so I was talking to her, asked which product was best and I bought one. I decided to go back to get her number, but I also acted like I wanted to change my product, so we chatted for about 10 minutes and eventually I asked her what time she got off and if she wanted to go out sometime. She had been making direct eye-contact throughout the time I was there, laughing, etc. Anyway she was like, "I don't know" and threw her arms in the air. She said she didn't know me so I just offered her my number and said she could text me, so I gave her my number and left. Not 10 minutes later she added me on Facebook. What should I do? I understand her reasoning, we had a nice exchange but I'm just a random guy. Should I wait a few days to message her? Wait for her to message me? Text me? Please help, this girl is gorgeous and just... ah.. Thanks
  • Sep 19, 2015, 03:17 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    You chat with her a few days, get to know her. Then ask her out.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 06:34 AM
    talaniman
    She is giving you a chance to communicate and get to know YOU safely, so why wait? Take advantage of the Facebook opportunity to show her your good side, and see if she gives you her number to talk to each other.

    I wouldn't expect her to call you, but you can show some social media interest, find out her likes and dislikes and see if it progresses to a more personal level (like a date). Do expect her to go slow since you are just a random guy.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 07:14 AM
    Homegirl 50
    I don't see any reason why you can message her, she added you to Facebook, what would you be waiting for?
    How old are the two of you?
  • Sep 19, 2015, 07:46 AM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I don't see any reason why you can message her, she added you to Facebook, what would you be waiting for?
    How old are the two of you?
    No reason I CAN message her? I'm 20, she's 19.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 08:29 AM
    smoothy
    Just so you know... Direct eye contact will be made by ANYONE good at their job working with others. However if she added you on Facebook.. then she wants to get to know more about you. At this point nothing is certain... so you talk and see where it goes from there if she finds enough to interest her... it could easily go either way even if you do everything right.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 09:51 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    No reason I CAN message her? I'm 20, she's 19.
    I meant can't
  • Sep 19, 2015, 10:00 AM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I meant can't
    What exactly do I message her? Do I mention the hair product I bought? Or what?
  • Sep 19, 2015, 10:06 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    What exactly do I message her? Do I mention the hair product I bought? Or what?

    Seriously dude... if you don't know what to say to her... you aren't ready to be dating her.

    That's not meant to be rude... but it is true. Because you will have to think of something to say after that...and after that and you can't be asking someone what to say, it has to come from inside....something that's appropriate for the moment. Otherwise you are going to come across as award or worse.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 10:08 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    What exactly do I message her? Do I mention the hair product I bought? Or what?
    Thank her for adding you on Fb. Then ask her a question, like how long has she worked at the store where you met her.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 11:00 AM
    lordstannis
    I just realized she messaged me as soon as she added me but since we had no mutual connections it went to my archive. FML.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 12:23 PM
    talaniman
    Message her back, and apologize for being a dummy that forgot to put her on his contact list.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 12:27 PM
    lordstannis
    She messaged me and said "i would get some food some night. even tho i dont know u, u seem sweet and it sounds rebellious and fun lol" I told her food some night would be great and that I didn't know her either but she seemed cool. That was about 2 hours ago. She saw it... now what ? I don't want to message her again and seem needy.
  • Sep 19, 2015, 12:35 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    She messaged me and said "i would get some food some night. even tho i dont know u, u seem sweet and it sounds rebellious and fun lol" I told her food some night would be great and that I didn't know her either but she seemed cool. That was about 2 hours ago. She saw it... now what ? I don't want to message her again and seem needy.
    Ask her when would be a good night/time for her. (Are you really having so much trouble with this? Are we going to go on your date via your smartphone to help you with conversation?)
  • Sep 20, 2015, 04:16 AM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Ask her when would be a good night/time for her. (Are you really having so much trouble with this? Are we going to go on your date via your smartphone to help you with conversation?)
    Lol sorry. It's not a big deal.

    She didn't message me back so she's not interested, obviously. Thanks for all the advice though.
  • Sep 20, 2015, 05:43 AM
    talaniman
    You weren't expecting instant success were you? Just chill and see what happens. Not getting a text back in YOUR timetable is no big deal.
  • Sep 20, 2015, 07:24 AM
    Homegirl 50
    You didn't get right back to her either. Chill out. She will get back when she can or send her a "hello" text. There is no set of rules. Just don't be intrusive and rude.
  • Sep 20, 2015, 10:36 AM
    tickle
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    No reason I CAN message her? I'm 20, she's 19.
    Homegirl obviously meant CANT
  • Sep 20, 2015, 03:36 PM
    iseah100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You weren't expecting instant success were you? Just chill and see what happens. Not getting a text back in YOUR timetable is no big deal.
    ^.


    though, she probably ain't in to you. It probably was just a courtesy thing so she doesn't feel as bad. Don't worry, there is other girls.


    I know rejection, trust me lol.
  • Sep 20, 2015, 05:29 PM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You didn't get right back to her either. Chill out. She will get back when she can or send her a "hello" text. There is no set of rules. Just don't be intrusive and rude.
    I don't have her number, just gave her mine. So, just wait for her to text me? And if she doesn't forget about her?
  • Sep 20, 2015, 06:27 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Can't you send her a message on Facebook? How did you reach her before?
  • Sep 20, 2015, 07:07 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    I don't have her number, just gave her mine. So, just wait for her to text me? And if she doesn't forget about her?
    Don't obsess over this new contact. Carry on with your life, and do your thing, and have fun. You have no clue what her life is about, so don't even make it about you. It probably isn't any way. Why get stuck on someone you don't even know? You met her go meet another.

    Maybe she gets back to you soon... maybe she doesn't. Regardless, give it a few days and shoot her another text... just ask how she is doing, and if she has time for a burger or something. Never wait for a stranger to get back with you though, why?
  • Sep 21, 2015, 12:10 AM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Don't obsess over this new contact. Carry on with your life, and do your thing, and have fun. You have no clue what her life is about, so don't even make it about you. It probably isn't any way. Why get stuck on someone you don't even know? You met her go meet another.

    Maybe she gets back to you soon... maybe she doesn't. Regardless, give it a few days and shoot her another text... just ask how she is doing, and if she has time for a burger or something. Never wait for a stranger to get back with you though, why?

    I messaged her twice on fb alread, so I think that's enough. She never gave me her number, I gave her mine and she said she'd text me. I'll just wait for her to text me. I mean I'm not stopping my life or anything, just wondering if I should contact her again sometime. I guess I'll just wait till she Friday. If she doesn't contact me I'll just forget about it.
  • Sep 22, 2015, 09:06 AM
    talaniman
    You did your part, waste no more time "waiting" on a stranger to their part.
  • Sep 22, 2015, 10:35 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lordstannis View Post
    I messaged her twice on fb alread, so I think that's enough. She never gave me her number, I gave her mine and she said she'd text me. I'll just wait for her to text me. I mean I'm not stopping my life or anything, just wondering if I should contact her again sometime. I guess I'll just wait till she Friday. If she doesn't contact me I'll just forget about it.

    Tells me she really wasn't all that interested... so it's a serious long-shot at best.

    If she was going to call or text... she would have done it long before now. Every day past day 2 she doesn't is that much more likely she never will.
  • Sep 22, 2015, 11:38 AM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You did your part, waste no more time "waiting" on a stranger to their part.
    You're right. Forget her.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Tells me she really wasn't all that interested... so it's a serious long-shot at best.

    If she was going to call or text... she would have done it long before now. Every day past day 2 she doesn't is that much more likely she never will.
    You're right. She was just being nice messaging me instead of outright rejecting me, which was kind of her. Time to delete her off fb! Oh well, thanks for all the advice, guys and gals!
  • Sep 25, 2015, 08:53 AM
    lordstannis
    Asked her out via fb, hit me with the "always busy". Rejection. Sigh* was really thinking she liked me.
  • Sep 25, 2015, 09:06 AM
    smoothy
    Can't say we didn't see that coming. Everything she did pointed at being cordial... but not really interested.
  • Sep 25, 2015, 09:08 AM
    lordstannis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Can't say we didn't see that coming. Everything she did pointed at being cordial... but not really interested.
    I had hope. Oh well, deleted her on fb. No need to talk to her anymore.
    Like I said, out of my league.
  • Sep 25, 2015, 12:52 PM
    smoothy
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Not every person you ask out will accept. You take it in stride and move on.

    This is why you never obsess over anyone...particularly before you even ask them out. And why people that do are responsible for their own misery.

    Maybe the next one you ask will accept.

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:02 AM.