First off, I am 18 years old. I have been dating my current BF for 3 years and cheating on him for 6 months. He cheated on me 2 years into the relationship with massage hookers who were touching him in an inappropriate way. This had a massive impact on me and I felt the need to get revenge. It destroyed my academic life, as I failed my exams and I am now retaking due to the trauma he caused me. I just could not handle the fact that other OLDER women were touching him naked and massaging his private parts.
I decided to forgive him for the sole purpose of making him feel like a complete . I am a very good actress so I manage to persuade him into unknowingly playing the game with me. It's been 3 months since and I still can't get out my head what he was doing with those prostitutes.
In short, I have been engaging in sexual activities with men for the past few months and I am proud to say that I feel no guilt at all. Should I? He is oblivious to my cheating because he started university recently and that gives me a LOT of space to do how I please. At first I only did it for the revenge but then I started to enjoy it.
I am sometimes disgusted by what I am doing and want to stop, but the urge comes back every time I think of what he has been doing. I want to find now a new partner now and forget about what happened. He has been acting very nice since the start of our relationship but I can't forgive him for hiding it from me for so long. Should I end it now or wait longer? He has been doing it for couple of years while I did it for a few months I don't feel like it's enough yet.

You're criticizing him but you are no better, in fact you're worse. You can't stand the idea if women touching him in inappropriate places but you are having sex with different men and enjoying it. Tell him you're cheating and let him decide if he wants to stay with you. I wouldn't. Your relationship is dead.

How am I worse? I never said I am having sex with them, I never go past oral sex, it's much worse if the person rubs you all over naked.

He doesn't have the privelage to do that, I want him to suffer as much as I can. I lost too much to back up. You are making me seem as bad but I am doing very little compared to what he was doing.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

How am I worse? I never said I am having sex with them, I never go past oral sex, it's much worse if the person rubs you all over naked.

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Not true. Oral sex is SEX. Ask Bill Clinton.

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He doesn't have the privelage to do that, I want him to suffer as much as I can. I lost too much to back up. You are making me seem as bad but I am doing very little compared to what he was doing.

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Be a real lady and just walk away.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

First off, I am 18 years old. I have been dating my current BF for 3 years and cheating on him for 6 months. He cheated on me 2 years into the relationship with massage hookers who were touching him in an inappropriate way. This had a massive impact on me and I felt the need to get revenge. It destroyed my academic life, as I failed my exams and I am now retaking due to the trauma he caused me. I just could not handle the fact that other OLDER women were touching him naked and massaging his private parts.
I decided to forgive him for the sole purpose of making him feel like a complete . I am a very good actress so I manage to persuade him into unknowingly playing the game with me. It's been 3 months since and I still can't get out my head what he was doing with those prostitutes.
In short, I have been engaging in sexual activities with men for the past few months and I am proud to say that I feel no guilt at all. Should I? He is oblivious to my cheating because he started university recently and that gives me a LOT of space to do how I please. At first I only did it for the revenge but then I started to enjoy it.
I am sometimes disgusted by what I am doing and want to stop, but the urge comes back every time I think of what he has been doing. I want to find now a new partner now and forget about what happened. He has been acting very nice since the start of our relationship but I can't forgive him for hiding it from me for so long. Should I end it now or wait longer? He has been doing it for couple of years while I did it for a few months I don't feel like it's enough yet.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

How am I worse? I never said I am having sex with them, I never go past oral sex, it's much worse if the person rubs you all over naked.

He doesn't have the privelage to do that, I want him to suffer as much as I can. I lost too much to back up. You are making me seem as bad but I am doing very little compared to what he was doing.

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Really... in what world do you live that oral sex isn't sex. It's a hell of a lot more intimate than intercourse is.

Face it... you are worse than he is... and what makes it even worse... is that you are apparently incapable of even acknowledging that.

Would you be fine if all he did was get oral sex from a bunch of women... after all its really not sex in your tiny little world. I bet you would still be screaming bloody murder, but its fine if YOU do it.

God... listen to yourself... you ARE ten times worse than he is...

Rubbing someone all over is worse than oral sex?.....girl you must have some INCREDIBLY low moral standards.


Sorry but you lose any moral high ground to preach from if you go out and do the same thing... because that makes you worse than a hypocrite.

Keep acting like a vengeful little (word that rhymes with itch) and you better hope he doesn't have ANY nude pictures of you or you will find them posted all over the internet out of revenge.

Hell all he needs to do is spread the word around about how you are acting and how easy to are to get sex from and you can kiss whatever reputation you have goodbye.

Yes...I'm saying...suck it up, stop acting like a 14 year old needing to get even....act like a mature adult...and move on with your life.

You CAN easily make it a LOT worse for yourself than it seems now.


If you were competing to see who was the least mature person between the two of you......you won. Happy now? Don't wait for a trophey.....they don't have one for that distinction.

I don't see this as who is worse, or what kind of sex is worse than another (I mean, HUH?). I see you as a victim of your own rage, unable to lead the life you really want to live. You don't know whether you want to be with this man or a new man or many men. You react instead of sitting down with yourself and THINKING and FEELING. You embroil yourself in drama and intrigue and revenge. Well you got your revenge and it doesn't help much, does it? You didn't even tell him! That's called rubbing salt in your own wounds.
You have a lot of maturity to learn. Heck, I was just as bad at 18, so I'm not putting you down, just telling you that you need to back off from men TOTALLY for a while, and grow some more. Learn how to have friends again, and to be alone. YOU DON'T NEED A MAN. A nice man is good. Wait, be who you are, cultivate a skill and a career and interests and hobbies and a general love of learning. Then a good man will fall right over your feet.

You did not forgive him, you set out to get even and that is worse, and you didn't even tell him what you are doing. Now you are the one who is miserable. Putting your mouth on different men. That is pitiful.
Break up with the guy, spend some time alone and grow up.

Is this your husband or your boyfriend? Are you escorting yourself?

He cheated on you and as a revenge you also on cheated him! (Oral sex or whatever sex it may be), what is the difference now? If you would have not cheated, then you would have the right to say anything to him, but now you cant, because whose own house is made up of glass, they shouldn't throw stones on others house!
If you feel like stopping, do it, listen to your heart. Don't waist your life, in anger and revenge because, you are ultimately destroying your own life. If you don't believe me, then read others posts, you will know what you are becoming. If this relationship hurts you then leave it.

Likely candidate to see a "shrink". Some warped thinking here.

Had you chosen to leave this cheater instead of imitate him, and call it revenge you may not have been so out of control and lost all you have worked for. You hurt yourself for nothing because he doesn't know anything of your so called revenge.

Cheating on a cheater is not revenge, it's a lousy excuse to act as badly as you say he did.

Wrong! Getting rubbed all over by a prostitute is more intimat than just oral sex. The reason for that is that he gets touched everywhere! How is that less intimate than giving someone head with clothes on? I don't understand.

I am definitely more mature than him. He is 19 and did it for long periods, he can't even acknowledge it's cheating, but I can.

I am definitely not 10x worse than he is , that is absurd, they were touching him in very intimate places that i haven't even touched him, saying it is less intimate makes you seem like an idiot sorry.

No i am not escorting.

You have lost all contact with reality, being rubbed, even oral sex, is worst than doing the same thing, to other men. You can not really be serious.

You have made yourself lower than the boyfriend, he did it for lust and fun. You did it for revenge, I feel such pity for you.

You leave the boyfriend, he really deserves better than you. And find a real life.

I am justified in what I am doing because he has done a lot more to hurt me and he has done it in the worst scenaroo for the majority of our relationship. That to me means a lot. He was basically patronising prostitutes. He is definitely less mature than I am as he can't even realise what he has done wrong. I consider getting rubbed naked more intimate because she touchhed and washed his genitals and prostate. If you think that that's worse than giving head to someone who is fully close then you need to watch each to see what I am talking about.

How does he deserves better than me after what he's done? That's absurd he did not have a motive for doing what he was doing. I do. Saying doing it for lust and fun is OK makes you lookbad.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

I am justified in what I am doing because he has done a lot more to hurt me and he has done it in the worst scenaroo for the majority of our relationship. That to me means a lot. He was basically patronising prostitutes. .

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No, you would be justified in breaking up with him. Stooping to his level is not justifiable.

He was patronizing prostitutes, and now you are acting like a prostitute.

I believe if I wouldn't be acting as he did I wouldn't get rid of all the negative thoughts about what he was doing. Saying what I am doing is worse is clearly absurd as he was doing it much greater extent. Strongly disagree

Since you are going to do whatever you want, what is it exactly you want from us?

I wanted opinions and a bit of support to help me deal with the memory of him cheating. I can't get over the fact that he let women do that to him. Saying I am worse is not doing any good. But I saw some appropriate answers thank you to those who didn'tspecify the bad asaspects but the good aspects.

I don't have to face that I am worse because I ain't. The person who said so is in favour for men doing whatever they want.


I conclude that touching someone naked is much more intimate that just giving oral. If you don't believe me then go and see yourself.

End the relationship... it's toxic to both of you and you are only going to go round and round with the cheating. What both of you have done is wrong when you claim to be in a loving, mature, and committed relationship.

Would he be okay knowing what you are doing? Would you being doing this if he hadn't been with others? If the answer is no, then you are merely trying to rid yourself of his indiscretion and get back at him in your own mind... not healthy, not mature, and not going to work. If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone.

You can continue to as you are... dwelling on what he has done, and trying to justify what you are doing... the old, "if he can do it I can do it" mentality, just to a different degree... or you can end the relationship and move on.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

Wrong! Getting rubbed all over by a prostitute is more intimat than just oral sex. The reason for that is that he gets touched everywhere! How is that less intimate than giving someone head with clothes on? I don't understand.

I am definitely more mature than him. He is 19 and did it for long periods, he can't even acknowledge it's cheating, but I can.

I am definitely not 10x worse than he is , that is absurd, they were touching him in very intimate places that i haven't even touched him, saying it is less intimate makes you seem like an idiot sorry.

No i am not escorting.

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You are completely delusional. You need psyciatric counseling now because you aren't thinking like a rational adult should.

Sorry.. I haven't seen ANYTHING in what you have said that shows a maturity level in excess of a below average 14 years old.

Get yourself to a mental health professional before you lose the last connection with reality that you have left. You clearly need help and I hope you get it. You are clearly having an emotional meltdown.

Crripes... everytime you say something you makes yourself look even worse than you did before... I feel pitty on this guy now for having put up with you as long as he has.

Apparently you equate physical therapists with prostitutes...because many times massage is part of the treatment.....yet you don't consider playing the beef Bugel not being sex.....seriously warped thinking process going on in your head girl. Get help.....you need it. You will thank us later if you do.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

I wanted opinions and a bit of support to help me deal with the memory of him cheating. I can't get over the fact that he let women do that to him. Saying I am worse is not doing any good. But I saw some appropriate answers thank you to those who didn'tspecify the bad asaspects but the good aspects.

I don't have to face that I am worse because I ain't. The person who said so is in favour for men doing whatever they want.


I conclude that touching someone naked is much more intimate that just giving oral. If you don't believe me then go and see yourself.

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YOU got our opinions... YOU are completely wrong... your actions were far worse than his. We don't support someone who is clearly in the middle of an emotional meltdown because what you are doing is wrong... what you are thinking is wrong... in fact I haven't seen anything you've done that anyone would consider correct. Your logic is wrong, your actions are wrong, and your conclusions are wrong.


WHat YOU need to do is simply walk away from him....and stay away from all men....do us all a huge favor. You clearly don't have the maturity to be in a relationship with anyone. Eventually you might.....but you certainly don't at the current time.

And if you are going to go around acting like a streetwalker.....at least be smart enough to get paid for your trouble. Oral sex is sex and prostitutes get paid for it, escorts get good money, streetwalkers do it for a lot cheaper..crack ho's do it really cheap, none of them do it free, but you are giving them out to random men for free you aren't even in relationships with. Give some thought to how that makes you look. Seriously.....give this last paragragh a lot of thought.

If you had a daughter....would YOU suggest she do this? I doubt it.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

I wanted opinions and a bit of support to help me deal with the memory of him cheating. I can't get over the fact that he let women do that to him. Saying I am worse is not doing any good. But I saw some appropriate answers thank you to those who didn'tspecify the bad asaspects but the good aspects.

I don't have to face that I am worse because I ain't. The person who said so is in favour for men doing whatever they want.


I conclude that touching someone naked is much more intimate that just giving oral. If you don't believe me then go and see yourself.

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Lola, I am sorry, but there is a huge difference between a person preforming a job and someone getting revenge. Until you open your eyes and take full responsibility for your own actions and deal with the emotions and negative thoughts, you are going to continue to dig a deeper hole for yourself.

This isn't to make you feel bad about yourself, but to get you to see the damage you are doing to yourself. He paid a person to provide a service. He did not go out to bars or where ever and pick women up. He went to an establishment that sounds like it cares about health and they only touched him with their hands. Less likely of transmitting diseases. You went out and found men to use as weapons against your boyfriend. You have no idea where these men have been and what their health is like.

What you have done may be 'less intimate' to you because the males didn't take their clothes off, but you put your mouth on a man's penis with the intention of getting him off and then kissed your boyfriend with that same mouth. Be honest with yourself about what you have been doing and walk away from this relationship before you are going farther with other body parts that you deem 'less intimate' than a hand-job from a professional.

You are 18 and can choose whether you want to continue down the path you have taken or to choose a new path where you are not acting like a masturbatory aid. You have to be willing to give yourself support before anyone else can. That means giving yourself permission to walk away from a toxic relationship and starting over.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

I conclude that touching someone naked is much more intimate that just giving oral. If you don't believe me then go and see yourself.

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You can't get an STD from touching someone, but you can get an STD from oral. Therefore, oral is more intimate.

You are handling this event in your life very badly in a very unhealthy way, since the best revenge would be to remove yourself from his life and find happiness and accomplishment without him. Not sink to his level and destroy your dignity and self respect.

You can do better for yourself if you want to than servicing men out of revenge and lowering yourself in the process. That's not revenge at all, its self destruction. Had you talked to a trusted mature female they would have told you the same thing that you have heard here already, and saved you the misery and pain and shown you how to heal from your trauma the correct proper way.

It's not too late.

I am sorry Smootie but you are a very bad person. You are being unfair and putting all the blame on me while pretending my BF did nothing wrong. Those massages were NUDE, have you ever seen a message therapist that touches their clients prostate, testicles and penis? NO, why? Because they are prostitutes, nothing more nothing less, there is no reason to justify that, he could have got legitimate massages that COVER YOU WITH A TOWEL.

Please I will skip that part about mental issues because it's really unnecessary and making you sound comic.

Do you understand what I felt? Why am I like this? Its because of HIM and only HIM, no one else has caused me this grief.

NO I would NOT recommend this to my daughter, I discovered this too late and now I am here, unhappy and suffering. Stay away from men? HE cheated, nothing would have happened if he would just keep his penis in his pants.

You are disgusting me please don't reply because your answers are very biased.

The only thing different between you and the prostitutes your boyfriend is seeing is that they are getting paid and you aren't. For the love of all things holy, don't you see that?

Cat-care for health? From when do erotic massage parlors care for men's health? And so what if they touched him with just hands? Does that make it any less worse? He let a prostitute touch him all over and wash him, for me that is something I will struggle really hard to get over, for me it means a lot.

These establishments are called Brothels and yes you can have sex in there, you are making them sound very friendly and legitimate cat and I don't like the sound of it.

I appreciate your response, but you are wrong when you say he is not to blame. I don't know anyone who would say these establishments are legit , this shocks me.

He is just as to blame as me. I am refusing to take the whole responsibility on my shoulders because he is responsible for just the same amount of wrongness as me.

Please does it really matter if he went to bars or prostitutes? that's absurd, the definition of monogamy is to be faithful to your partner both emotionally and SEXUALLY, a person who visits these places is braking this rule.

J-9 True! I do see that, but as I see many people on this site think of them as massage therapists! I don't take the possibility of STD into the account when considering what's intimate or not, I am judging by the actions.

You are also exposing yourself to herpes and god knows what else, putting your mouth on anybody's penis. That is nasty.
He may have betrayed your trust in getting a massage but your choosing to give blowjobs to random men is tacky. You need to talk to someone about what you are doing. It is destructive behavior. At what point are you going to stop? At what point were you going to tell him?

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Originally Posted by Lola01

J-9 True! I do see that, but as I see many people on this site think of them as massage therapists! I don't take the possibility of STD into the account when considering what's intimate or not, I am judging by the actions.

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You can't judge by the actions. He cannot get a life threatening STD from a massage, intimate or not. You, on the other hand, can contract gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes and, don't freak out... HIV/AIDS by giving oral sex to men of which you don't know their health.

While he is getting his rocks off, you are playing Russian Roulette. He may be getting fondled, yet you are putting your life in your hands.

Have some self respect for crying out loud!

Wow. What a great relationship you two have. I guess you two were meant for each other. I recommend you two stay together so that nobody else has to deal with you two.

"I felt the need to get revenge. It destroyed my academic life" I got to call bull crappies on that one. Regardless of what happened in your life, destroying your academic life was a choice, a bad choice, but a choice nonetheless.

Homegirl-very good point there you have made although calling it a massage is too nice in my opinion, he could have easily gotten more, I know in fact that woman reached his prostate, can you get STD from that?

I will tell him everything when I feel that what I have done equates his betrayal. So far I am still stuck in a fog but its getting better and better with each encounter, but say what else is there to lose?

He is very nice to me and he cares for me but it's not enough, he can't turn back time and I can't either, I believe he will find out when the time comes. Right now it's too early.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

Homegirl-very good point there you have made although calling it a massage is too nice in my opinion, he could have easily gotten more, I know in fact that woman reached his prostate, can you get STD from that?

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No, you can't get an STD from a massage.

Child, you have a death wish. Make out your Will now. Dying of HIV/AIDS is a very slow and painful death.

At least you recognize you are stuck in your own fog, and hopefully you will make a healthier choice what to do about it. Sooner, rather than later.

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Originally Posted by Lola01

I am sorry Smootie but you are a very bad person. You are being unfair and putting all the blame on me while pretending my BF did nothing wrong. Those massages were NUDE, have you ever seen a message therapist that touches their clients prostate, testicles and penis? NO, why? Because they are prostitutes, nothing more nothing less, there is no reason to justify that, he could have got legitimate massages that COVER YOU WITH A TOWEL.

Please I will skip that part about mental issues because it's really unnecessary and making you sound comic.

Do you understand what I felt? Why am I like this? Its because of HIM and only HIM, no one else has caused me this grief.

NO I would NOT recommend this to my daughter, I discovered this too late and now I am here, unhappy and suffering. Stay away from men? HE cheated, nothing would have happened if he would just keep his penis in his pants.

You are disgusting me please don't reply because your answers are very biased.

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Really... you don't like hearing the truth... do you...

NORMAL people walk away from a failing relationship... you however feel this pathological NEED to do all this other stuff that NORMAL people don't do... in fact most mornal people never even have those thoughts cross their minds.

I can see why he cheated on you... you've been actting like a crazy person. If you react like this its absolutely certain you've been doing other irrational stuff all along.

Seriously, get help from a mental health professional... because at the rate you are heading... you are going to end up locked up or hurting yourself.

I find YOUR behaviour disgusting... and I find you to be an exceptionally RUDE individual who is the only one biased here.

OH, and you don't get to tell me or anyone else if they can or can't post. Understand.

If you had the maturity of an adult... you would listen to what people are telling you... and we are ALL telling you basically the same thing.

So your relationship when bad... boo hoo... there isn't one single person here who hasen't had a relationship go sour more than once. YOu act like this is the ONLY guy you have ever had a relationship with, EVER. Again... this is how a 14 year old responds when a relationship breaks up... not how an adult behaves.

Adults walk away... what exactly do you think you are proving to anyone? Seriously. He cheated so I've going to have sex with a bunch of random guys. Any or all of which could have given you STD's. You still might find out you caught HPV, Herpes or AIDS none of which have a cure because its still way too soon for them to have caused any sysmptoms.

But no... you rant and rave like someone that's deranged... you only PROVE everything everyone here has said about you is correct.


Know what... I'm a wonderful person... and everyone else posting here knows me...

I'm also a very direct person... I don't believe in sugarcoating a problem because some people (like you) want to believe what they want to believe and expect everyone to agree with them no matter how wrong they are. We don't do that and I don't do that.

You screwed up big time... if you are lucky you will not have gotten an incurable disease, If you are lucky you will wake up and understand everything we told you was true and it was for your own good.

If you decide to ignore all of it and tale a long walk off a short pier... then that's also your choice and I won't lose any sleep over it.

All you are doing is hurting yourself, if you actually have any friends and they were agreeing with you, then they aren't very good friends... because you are being extremely self destructive right now.

I hope your next boyfriend goes around and gets oral sex off your best friends... because you still believe its not sex so you should be fine with it. YOU would probibly be the one to teach your daughters to give blowjobs to any boy that wants because its not sex and doing it to random people isn't showing you have no self respect.

YOU are like this because YOU have serious anger issues and can't cope with difficulty at all. That's a mental disorder. A NORMAL woman would get upset the boyfriend cheated and leave him... you however can't seem to do what a normal person would.

YOU are only hurting yourself... rant away... I don't have thin skin. And you are only proving me and everyone else right.

Get help... and you will see what we have ALL been telling you. Or is it going to take you escalating this until you end up under arrest and in jail? You are well on the way to doing just that. I suppose you going to jail is really going to "stick it to him".

You are a sad, vindictive person... get help ( I hope you do, you need it)... life is short... and you will never get the time back you wasted while being this way.

And nlike you... I don't have hatred oozing out of every pore, not even towards you after your tirade. I honestly hope you listen to us and get the help you need.

Lola, can you tell me who Pattiroxxi is?

J-9 AIDS!! I use condom so I think I will be all right, hopefully that threw me off a little! But I can't think of anything else but to get revenge, sorry but I really can't, I believe nothing would stop me from doing what I am doing at the moment.

I don't need psychiatric help as that strange sir said but I need time, I believe time will heal, and during that time I will recover, that's my last hope.

I have been with 15 boys so far, and had sex on 4 occasions, but the guilt is missing. I can't help it, I believe its just a phase.


No, I can not, I have visited this site a few times and I haven't seen much of her threads.

In the end, you are trying to get revenge, but you are the one risking the death sentence. Not him.

The best revenge is breaking up and moving on with your life in a healthy way, not playing foolish childish games.

Enough feeding this troll. All that can be said has already.

And he does not even know it. You could have just lied to him, that you were doing it, if you wanted revenge.

You need deep and serious mental health counseling. No one, that is sane, behaves this way..

I have posted on here before, and after all the advice I received, I decided to stop with my revenge, and end the relationship. I just don't know how I should say it to him. He is so nice while I am emotionless and eager to leave him.

For people who don't know about my situation, my BF was engaging in erotic massages with prostitutes, and so I returned the favour.

I ralized we did both wrong, and we need to split. I am fully OK with that. He is going through a hard time at the moment but I think he will understand. Please help me how to get the message through to him. Any advice?

You break up, and stop all contact with each other.