I've know her for at least a year already and well at first I liked her only as friends but soon I started to get mixed emotion for her and well now I'm in love with her. She has a boyfriend yet she told me a couple of days ago that she has feelings for me and it's a stronger feeling than the one with her boyfriend, and well she also told me that when she would think of the memories with her boyfriend and she didn't feel a thing but when she would think of the memories with me and well she cries because they felt special to her.

The only thing is that she doesn't really want to accept what her heart thinks, and well I'm always there for her and stuff yet her boyfriend isn't really there for her when she needs him but I am. Yet I've been there since the start of her relationship with her boyfriend.

I've talked to a family member about this and well she says I should go for it because I would be better for her because of the way I treated her and well its better than the way her boyfriend was with her.

So... should I ask her out or I just keep my mouth shut and stay friends with her

You can't "go for it" You can make a comment that if 'n when she ever breaks up with him you are in line. Its never good to break up a relationship even if it's a really bad one. You'll just be creating a lot of problems. You have to wait until she breaks up with him and you are sure Its over and she is ready to move on.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

You can't "go for it" You can make a comment that if 'n when she ever breaks up with him you are in line. Its never good to break up a relationship even if its a really bad one. You'll just be creating a lot of problems. You have to wait until she breaks up with him and you are sure Its over and she is ready to move on.

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Well OK... but like we were messaging each other and well she was telling me that she just realized she doesn't want to be with her boyfriend because he doesn't make her happy as I do and well she told him if she can be free and she wants some time off and well he said "no but I guess" but soon later she tells me that he doesn't want to do that.

Yes I know that it good to break up a relationship but that conversation we had kept me thinking who does she want to be with... me or her boyfriend

I can't tell if she's feeling you out to see how much you want a romantic relationship, or if she's playing you and the boyfriend against each other.
So just be open and honest. Tell her that you don't want to get into a duel with the guy but that you would love to love her - IF she breaks up with him. I would suggest that if she does break up with him that you tell her you won't start getting intensely involved right away, just so that you don't become the 'rebound man.'

Its all on her

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Originally Posted by joypulv

I can't tell if she's feeling you out to see how much you want a romantic relationship, or if she's playing you and the boyfriend against each other.
So just be open and honest. Tell her that you don't want to get into a duel with the guy but that you would love to love her - IF she breaks up with him. I would suggest that if she does break up with him that you tell her you won't start getting intensely involved right away, just so that you don't become the 'rebound man.'

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Thanks for the advice but just to let everyone know... she had told me that she had a crush on my but backed off because of her friend yet she had a crush on me and now she has this feeling for me again but am not sure if its what she want, and well theirs time when I hugged her when she was felling down or hurting inside or when I let her cry on my shoulder... and well that's when I was getting her trust and she told me one time when we were talking during lunch alone and well she said I make her feel so much better when I hug her or let her cry on my shoulder... and that was every time her boyfriend broke her heart(5or 6 times) and well when she was having a bad day

She has a boyfriend. If she wants to be with you, she'll break up with her boyfriend. If she doesn't do that, then she doesn't feel as strongly about you as you think she does.

You ignore the obvious my friend as if she thought you would be a better man there would be no way she would still be with him now would there? She is feeding you a load of crap and instead of dumping him for not being a good boyfriend, she feeds you false hope and crap behind his back and that's her true character.

No matter how good you would be she would have a Plan B behind your back too, so don't be a fool over this female. She is probably your friend because she is not all that happy, true, but what's more important is to pay attention to what she does about it.

How old are you guys anyway?

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Originally Posted by Alty

She has a boyfriend. If she wants to be with you, she'll break up with her boyfriend. If she doesn't do that, then she doesn't feel as strongly about you as you think she does.

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Thanks for your help... but she told her boyfriend she wanted to be free and have sometime off and well at first he said no but I guess... then soon later he told her No... and assuming she doesn't know what to do

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You ignore the obvious my friend as if she thought you would be a better man there would be no way she would still be with him now would there? She is feeding you a load of crap and instead of dumping him for not being a good boyfriend, she feeds you false hope and crap behind his back and that's her true character.

No matter how good you would be she would have a Plan B behind your back too, so don't be a fool over this female. She is probably your friend because she is not all that happy, true, but what's more important is to pay attention to what she does about it.

How old are you guys anyway?

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Ok thanks for the help and well were both going to the 8th grade so automatically you should have an obvious age range on how old we are

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Originally Posted by perez1006

thanks for your help.......but she told her boyfriend she wanted to be free and have sometime off and well at first he said no but I guess... then soon later he told her No.......... and assuming she doesn't know what to do

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If she wants to break up with him, she just says "I'm breaking up with you". He can't say no to that. That's not an option.

She's making excuses, and they're really lame ones.

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Originally Posted by Alty

If she wants to break up with him, she just says "I'm breaking up with you". He can't say no to that. That's not an option.

She's making excuses, and they're really lame ones.

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Yes I could understand why that's your answer but its not really an excuse because we know about the snapshot on ipods touches and iphones were it takes a photo of what your viewing on their device... but anyway she sent me a snapshot of her conversation where she says she wants to be free and wants time off so actually it wasn't an excuse

Don't let such a young girl play with you like that. She may be a good friend, but the kind of love you have will make you foolish. Sorry to be blunt, but think about this with your head, not your heart.

What kind of female feeds you words like that and stays with someone they claim is no good? She is not confused as to what to do, she is stringing you along and keeping YOU confused making it impossible for you to think clearly, and stand for your dignity, and self respect.

But no worries, a foolish heart learns the lesson the hard way, so good luck whatever you decide to do about this, because you will need it.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't let such a young girl play with you like that. She may be a good friend, but the kind of love you have will make you foolish. Sorry to be blunt, but think about this with your head, not your heart.

What kind of female feeds you words like that and stays with someone they claim is no good? She is not confused as to what to do, she is stringing you along and keeping YOU confused making it impossible for you to think clearly, and stand for your dignity, and self respect.

But no worries, a foolish heart learns the lesson the hard way, so good luck whatever you decide to do about this, because you will need it.

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I understand what your trying to say... I think through my head about this over and over again... and what my hearts thinks yet I am not sure what to go with... my mind or heart

The heart does not think, and only knows what it wants, your head is where the brain is and the brain's only purpose is to think. So think, do her words and actions match?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

The heart does not think, and only knows what it wants, your head is where the brain is and the brain's only purpose is to think. So think, do her words and actions match?

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Ok well since you put in a way by saying that "does her words and actions match"... yes they match because I really do pay attention to anyone's actions around me because not everyone knows what a persons actions or words can effect you in a way... if you know what I mean about that

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Originally Posted by perez1006

Yes I could understand why that's your answer but its not really an excuse because we know about the snapshot on ipods touches and iphones were it takes a photo of what your viewing on their device.....but anyways she sent me a snapshot of her conversation where she says she wants to be free and wants time off so actually it wasn't an excuse

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Okay, so you're telling me she wants to break up with her boyfriend, he said no, and now she can't break up with him because he's not allowing her to?

Sit girl! Sit! Heel! Lay down! Roll over! Bad girl, go into the corner. Obey! Obey! Obey!

Do you not see the problem here? If one person wants to break up, they're broken up. It doesn't matter if he said no, it's not his call, he doesn't own her, he's not her master. If she doesn't have the spine to say "I don't want to be with you" and walk away, then she's either a complete idiot, or his slave. Either one is not ideal dating material.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Okay, so you're telling me she wants to break up with her boyfriend, he said no, and now she can't break up with him because he's not allowing her to?

Sit girl! Sit! Heel! Lay down! Roll over! Bad girl, go into the corner. Obey! Obey! Obey!

Do you not see the problem here? If one person wants to break up, they're broken up. It doesn't matter if he said no, it's not his call, he doesn't own her, he's not her master. If she doesn't have the spine to say "I don't want to be with you" and walk away, then she's either a complete idiot, or his slave. Either one is not ideal dating material.

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Well your right about that he doesn't own her at all and yes I see the problem but correct me if am wrong... "am sure she haven't been in this type position before therefore I assuming she doesn't know what she's doing"

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Originally Posted by perez1006

Well your right about that he doesn't own her at all and yes I see the problem but correct me if am wrong...... "am sure she haven't been in this type position before therefore I assuming she doesn't know what she's doing"

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Okay, let's cut to the chase here. You want to know if you should ask her out. She has a boyfriend, she's supposedly tried to break up with him but he won't allow her to. So ask her out. Then she can turn you down, or her boyfriend can tell you exactly what he supposedly told her "no". I'm sure he'll do more than merely tell you when you ask out his girlfriend.

Bottom line, you asked a question, we answered it, you have nothing but excuses to paint this girl as the perfect angel, the perfect girl for you. If she wanted to be single, she'd be single. She's not, so that's her choice. If you want to be the douche that asks out a girl that's dating someone else, only to be turned down, then go for it. It's your choice.

I'm done. You don't want advice, you want someone to tell you what you want to hear, not the truth.

Good luck.

Me? I'd simply ask her out! She sounds perfect and like she is stuck with him even though she doesn't want to be. You asking her out will allow her to become free from him. So what are you waiting for?

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Originally Posted by odinn7

Me? I'd simply ask her out! She sounds perfect and like she is stuck with him even though she doesn't want to be. You asking her out will allow her to become free from him. So what are you waiting for?

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Odinn, you forget to engage the sarcasm font. Just fyi.

If this girl was so in love with you she would walk away from her boyfriend.
I think she likes having two guys ga ga over her and is a drama queen.
You don't ask a girl who has a boyfriend out, that is just bad form. How would you like it if someone did that to you? Another thing to think about, this girl is cheating on this guy, she could also do the same thing to you.
But go ahead and ask her out because this is what you want to do. Some people have to learn the hard way.

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Originally Posted by perez1006

Ok well since you put in a way by saying that "does her words and actions match".....yes they match because I really do pay attention to anyone's actions around me because not everyone knows what a persons actions or words can effect you in a way.....if you know what I mean about that

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No they don't, she puts the rap on you like she is so happy with you, but stays with him. That's not a match, that's BS.

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Originally Posted by perez1006

Well your right about that he doesn't own her at all and yes I see the problem but correct me if am wrong...... "am sure she haven't been in this type position before therefore I assuming she doesn't know what she's doing"

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Never assume someone's feelings or heart. That's a good way to make an a$$ of yourself.

No female is worth giving up YOUR dignity and self respect. May you find yours now, and quit with the excuses. It's false hope, and consequences to pay if you continue down this road.

"Ok thanks for the help and well were both going to the 8th grade so automatically you should have an obvious age range on how old we are:"



Can't you answer a simple question? I don't want to do the math. I think your age is not so obvious, including to you. You should be posting on the teen board.

She cheats on him, she'll cheat on you.

"Cheats with you, cheats on you."

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

"Ok thanks for the help and well were both going to the 8th grade so automatically you should have an obvious age range on how old we are:"



Can't you answer a simple question? I don't want to do the math. I think your age is not so obvious, including to you. You should be posting on the teen board.

She cheats on him, she'll cheat on you.

"Cheats with you, cheats on you."

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8th grade, if the OP didn't fail a grade or more, means he's around 13 or 14. So they're kids, playing very childish games.