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-   -   Is it illegal for a 15 year old to date a 24 year old? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=734514)

  • Feb 16, 2013, 12:14 PM
    ashie123
    Is it illegal for a 15 year old to date a 24 year old?
    Is it illegal for me to date my 24 year old boyfriend even though I am 15?
  • Feb 16, 2013, 12:16 PM
    Wondergirl
    Does he know he is your boyfriend?

    What do your parents say?
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:18 PM
    ashie123
    Yh he does as, no they don't
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:33 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashie123 View Post
    yh he does as, no they dont

    Please tell your parents you want to date a man who is 9-10 years older than you are. Please let us know what they say.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:37 PM
    ashie123
    I don't know how to say it though
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:38 PM
    Wondergirl
    Uh, you just say it.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:44 PM
    ashie123
    But what happens if they reject me
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:52 PM
    Wondergirl
    They won't reject you. They will say no, that you are too young to date, especially a young man who is in a whole different time from you. He is starting in his career and adult life and you are just a young immature person in early high school (if that).

    I cannot imagine what you two have in common.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:55 PM
    ashie123
    We have loads though
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:55 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashie123 View Post
    we have loads tho

    Name five things.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:56 PM
    ashie123
    Mind set

    How much we love each other
    Hobbies
  • Feb 16, 2013, 01:58 PM
    Wondergirl
    Mindset means what?

    Does he tell you that you are pretty and have a good figure and are smart? Does he hold hands with you and kiss you and hug you?
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:01 PM
    ScottGem
    There are no laws about dating. However, you are likely to be under the age of consent which means any sexual activity could get him jailed.

    However, until you are 18 you have to abide by your parent's rules. Therefore you NEED to tell them immediately.

    How did you meet this person? How long have you known him?
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:05 PM
    ashie123
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Mindset means what?

    Does he tell you that you are pretty and have a good figure and are smart? Does he hold hands with you and kiss you and hug you?

    no he doesn't say that I am smart but he says the rest

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    There are no laws about dating. However, you are likely to be under the age of consent which means any sexual activity could get him jailed.

    However, until you are 18 you have to abide by your parent's rules. Therefore you NEED to tell them immediately.

    How did you meet this person? How long have you known him?

    He has done some research and found out that I can move out and into his house when I turn sixteen
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:11 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashie123 View Post
    he has done some research and found out that i can move out and into his house when i turn sixteen

    When will you turn 16?

    What about school?
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:12 PM
    ashie123
    I will go to the same school still
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:13 PM
    ScottGem
    Where do you live. That is not usual. Also for him to tell you that raises red flags. Do you want to leave your parents? Do you realize moving in with him could end your relationship with your parents.

    Please answer my questions about how you met and how long you have known him.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:17 PM
    ashie123
    We met at a party a coule of years ago and I don't mind about lossing the relationship with my parents as I haven't got one with my mum, I live in suffolk england
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:23 PM
    ScottGem
    So a 22 yr old started a relationship with a 13 yr old? And what were you at 13 doing at a party where there were aduts?

    You need to run from this guy. He has pedophile written all over him.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:37 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Keep in mind that if this is behind your parents' backs and/or without their permission he can be arrested for custodial interference.

    Of course, if you're having sex (and that includes oral sex) he definitely can go to jail.

    Why is he, at his age, dating girls your age? He should be out of college, working on a career, and you're a sophomore in high school? Interesting.

    I don't know what "mindset" means - ?

    If you are too young to figure out how to ask/tell your parents you are too young to date him. And he doesn't have the manhood to ask/tell your parents that you are dating? Anyone who encourages you to sneak around is not good dating material.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:48 PM
    ashie123
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    So a 22 yr old started a relationship with a 13 yr old? And what were you at 13 doing at a party where there were aduts?

    You need to run from this guy. He has pedophile written all over him.

    We only started dating a couplr of weeks ago

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Keep in mind that if this is behind your parents' backs and/or without their permission he can be arrested for custodial interference.

    Of course, if you're having sex (and that includes oral sex) he definitely can go to jail.

    Why is he, at his age, dating girls your age? He should be out of college, working on a career, and you're a sophomore in high school? Interesting.

    I don't know what "mindset" means - ?

    If you are too young to figure out how to ask/tell your parents you are too young to date him. And he doesn't have the manhood to ask/tell your parents that you are dating? Anyone who encourages you to sneak around is not good dating material.

    It isn't his choice to keep it behind my dads back that is my choice 100% he wants me to tell them, I am male by the way and he said that he will wait till I have my parents consent or when I am 18

    We have never engaged in any sexual activity together
  • Feb 16, 2013, 02:59 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashie123 View Post
    we only started dating a couplr of weeks ago

    Ok, let me make this clear to you. A 24 yr old adult has absolutely NO business being in a romantic relationship with a minor. He has NO business suggesting to that minor that she can leave her parents and move in with him while still a minor (even if the law supports it).

    So you met at some party (again what were you doing there?) 2 years ago. Then a few weeks ago you started dating? What changed? How or why did you keep in contact over the past 2 years? I'm trying to understand anything that would convince me that this guy is not a pedophile and a danger to you.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:02 PM
    ashie123
    He is one of my fathers staff, and please stop referring to me as a female as I am male, and you don't even know him so you cannot call him a pedophile , I know he is safe because he had a crb check when he started working for my dad
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:05 PM
    JudyKayTee
    What does "safe" mean? Your father's employee is going behind your father's back to date you?

    That sounds like both personal AND career suicide.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:10 PM
    ashie123
    He is compeletely safe to be around children and minors as the police and social services do not have anything against him. It isn't a carrer suicide as I was wondering if it was legal but if it isn't I wouldn't let him do it as I want to do everything above board and so does he
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:13 PM
    ScottGem
    Sorry, But that makes it worse in my mind. First, this person is in a position of trust and has taken advantage of that. Second, a CRB would probably not reveal pedophilia unless he was previously convicted of it. Finally, I think it much worse that this is a homosexual relationship. Not that I am a homophobe, but at 15 you are very vulnerable to an older man. Even more so then a young girl would be.

    You NEED to tell your father about this immediately.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:15 PM
    ashie123
    How does it make me more vulnerable may I ask

    How does that make me more vulnerable please
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:25 PM
    ScottGem
    Because, at 15 its not unusual to be confused about your sexuality. And an adult that would take advantage of that is garbage in my opinon.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:26 PM
    ashie123
    I am completely sure upon my sexual feelings
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:27 PM
    ScottGem
    I'm sure you feel that way.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 03:31 PM
    ashie123
    Don't patronize me pleasde
  • Feb 16, 2013, 04:17 PM
    talaniman
    No ones patronizing you, just getting you to see that you are being groomed by an older male and likely your own parents don't know of your sexuality, or that you have chosen to be with someone they know, but without their knowledge.

    I can understand it, but how long will this fellow have a career on your fathers staff once he realizes his son is in a thing with him? I bet you are still in the closet with your own friends and he has been one of the few who know your secret. Why does an older guy groom a young guy? To keep you close and unable to explore your own world, and yourself. So he will be the only focus of your very young life.

    That will make you hopeful, dependent, and pliable in the future. No its not illegal to date WITH permission, but its not honest either, as you have chosen to take your parents out of the equation thereby jeopardizing any support to be able to get a good education and have an unlimited bright future for yourself.

    Get real guy, this fellow will not see to your continued education and you know it, so you will be the slave of his generosity to even feed yourself or end up on some menial job that can barely sustain you. All because you live in a small narrow mindset where he is the love of your life, and your parents home and influence have been made as unimportant to that love.

    That may be so NOW as you depend on them, but think, you will soon move in with him and live happily ever after forever is the unrealistic part that will bite you in the butt, and break your heart. In many ways you may be mature, but in many important ways you see the world through inexperienced eyes like most 15 year olds.

    It doesn't have to be that way, so give it a lot more realistic thoughts of your future than just following your heart into the unknown. That's a lousy plan.
  • Feb 16, 2013, 07:18 PM
    Homegirl 50
    I agree with all of the advice given. I have a question though, you say this guy says you can move in with him when you are 16 and he won't touch you until you're 18, until it is with your parents knowing. Is this what he's telling you?
    This guy is a creep, a pedophile. There is no way someone his age should be attracted to you for good reason.
    Have him tell your parents he is dating you if he is such a decent guy. Let's see if he does that.
  • Feb 17, 2013, 12:01 AM
    ArmstrongMiller
    It's up to your local law...

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