Ask Me Help Desk - I slept with my friends boyfriend.

I slept with my friends boyfriend.

I have slept with my friends boyfirend. I am 22, he is a little older. Also she has a child with him. I am not so sure what to do HEEEEELLLLLPP.

And no, I am not looking for sympathy!

She's not your friend anymore and you and her baby daddy will suffer the consequences.

Yeah I understand that but she does not no as off yet. And I do think off her as a good friend (its obvs the people reading won't think I am good friend) but I am always there for her, yes I have mad a big big mistake

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

yeah i understand that but she does not no as off yet. and i do think off her as a good friend (its obvs the people reading wont think i am good friend) but i am always there for her, yes i have mad a big big mistake

Obviously,you are not a good friend and her boyfriend isn't faithful either. I feel bad for the baby and its mother in this situation.

Yes so do aye, I don't think its good and clever I am ashamed of it, you don't understand how bad I feel

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

yes so do aye, i dont think its good and clever iam ashamed of it, you dont understand how bad i feel

Sorry, what are you going to do about it?

I don't no that's why I posted on here to see if some one can help me or give me some advice with out judging is, I feel sooo bad I love her little boy as well

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

i dont no thats why i posted on here to see if some one can help me or give me some advice with out judging is, i feel sooo bad i love her little boy as well

Tell her what happened. That's all you can do. You didn't feel bad when you did it. Why now?

How do you no I never felt bad while it happened, and yes I did I told him that

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

how do you no i never felt bad while it happend, and yes i did i told him that

If you felt bad, it wouldn't have happened. You would have avoided the situation.

Good friends don't do things like this to their friend... so that says something about you.

Tell her. She should be made aware of how good of a friend you are and how wonderful and trustworthy her boyfriend is.

I come on here to ask and seek for advise not to be judged

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

i come on here to ask and seek for advise not to be judged

This is our advice and you don't get to decide whether we judge you or not. No one is going to pat you on the back for what you did.

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

i come on here to ask and seek for advise not to be judged

LOL... you knew it was wrong but you did it anyway. Now you are looking for someone here to give you some magical way for you to loose the guilt. Not going to happen.

Ha no I don't want I pat on the back what I have done is wrong, and I no its wrong, aye also forgot to mension she (my friend) has done this to me before and I forgived her, she knows her boyfriend cheats all the time as well, but yes I am on the wrong totally, meybays I done it for pay back and I might just tell her,

Oh why did I no think off that,

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

oh why did i no think off that,

Think of what? Stealing him away?

Think about it now and show us why we shouldn't judge you.

Bottom line, you had a choice, he didn't just trip and his penis slipped in you. You decided to have sex with him. Too bad you didn't think it through before it happened, then you wouldn't have to be thinking about what to do next.

Things like this always come out, so don't bother trying to keep it a secret. Tell her, and reap the consequences, but really, do you expect her to forgive you, or him? Would you?

You did the crime, now put on your big girl panties and face the consequences.

Well I am was been sarcastic about that comment, and aye found yours quite funny tbh. In case you never read the earlyier comment, yes she has done it to me before and yes I did forgive her, so like a said it might just be payback time,

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

well i am was been sarcastic about that comment, and aye found yours quite funny tbh. incase you never read the earlyier comment, yes she has done it to me b4 and yes i did forgive her, so like a sed it might just be payback time,

Well, you two are such moral people. I wish I had friends like you (now that's sarcasm).

Fine, then tell her "you slept with my boyfriend, so I slept with yours. Let's still be friends", and see what happens.

Frankly, with friends like the two of you, who needs enemies?

Ha ha well they do say what goes around comes around don't they? So it has

All yous no is I slept with him you don't no that rest soooo!!

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

ha ha well they do say what goes around comes around dont they?? so it has

all yous no is i slept with him you dont no that rest soooo!!!

I wouldn't act all proud of myself, if I were you. I'd love for you to go back through all your posts and count the misspelled words. Let me know how many you find.

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

ha ha well they do say what goes around comes around dont they?? so it has

all yous no is i slept with him you dont no that rest soooo!!!

And what she does affects how you live your life and the choices you make? I feel the need to use the old "if your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you" adage.

I don't need to know (notice the spelling of the word know) the rest. I know enough.

At first you said you felt guilty, you felt bad, now you've completely turned around and are saying that she deserved it, because of what she did to you.

You both need to find a better class of friend, maybe then you can learn to be classy yourself.

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Originally Posted by Alty

And what she does affects how you live your life and the choices you make? I feel the need to use the old "if your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you" adage.

I don't need to know (notice the spelling of the word know) the rest. I know enough.

At first you said you felt guilty, you felt bad, now you've completely turned around and are saying that she deserved it, because of what she did to you.

You both need to find a better class of friend, maybe then you can learn to be classy yourself.

Right thanks a lot for all your help, and sorry I never knew you have to spell so perfectly, or use the correct words, you understood them didn't u?

" and sorry i never knew you have to spell so perfectly, or use the correct words, you understood them didnt u??" You weren't taught that spelling does affect your life? I understood them because I am a teacher.

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

right thanks alot for all your help, and sorry i never knew you have to spell so perfectly, or use the correct words, you understood them didnt u??

You don't have to spell perfectly, but think about this. You're on a website, the only form of communication we can use is writing. That means that we base our opinions of you on what and how you write.

You misspelled the word "know" many times. To me that says "this girl isn't educated enough to even know the difference between "no" and " and ". My 10 year old knows the difference.

So I read your post, and my first opinion of you was that you're uneducated. Then I read the content of your posts and my opinion of you went even lower.

Did I understand what you wrote? Yes, with great difficulty, and not without smacking my head against a wall repeatedly. I'm assuming that you're a teen or a young adult. There's really no reason why you shouldn't be able to use basic English.

Remember, we don't know you, we don't know what kind of person you are. We only know what you write, and how you write it. So, based on what you wrote and how you wrote it, you have very loose morals, you're uneducated and untrustworthy. Is that how you want to be portrayed? Is that what and who you want to be?

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

I wouldn't act all proud of myself, if I were you. I'd love for you to go back through all your posts and count the misspelled words. Let me know how many you find.

Do I care about my spelling mistakes,NO, and I am not proud of myself I am far from that,

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

do i care about my spelling mistakes,NO, and i am not proud of my self i am far from that,

So you don't care that people read what you write and automatically think that you're not smart, or educated? Well then, that's on you. If you don't mind being stupid, we can't do anything about that.

As for the other, we told you what to do about it. It's now up to you.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

do i care about my spelling mistakes,NO, and i am not proud of my self i am far from that,

Good luck in life. You're going to need it.

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Good luck in life. You're going to need it.

Probs got a better life then you

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Originally Posted by Alty

And what she does affects how you live your life and the choices you make? I feel the need to use the old "if your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you" adage.

I don't need to know (notice the spelling of the word know) the rest. I know enough.

At first you said you felt guilty, you felt bad, now you've completely turned around and are saying that she deserved it, because of what she did to you.

You both need to find a better class of friend, maybe then you can learn to be classy yourself.

Right okay thanks for you advice

So you started with saying how bad you felt for doing this... what happened to that? You seem to have had a complete turn-around on how you felt.

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

probs got a better life then you

Seriously? I don't think so! I feel bad for you.

Are you guys all finished with your clever comments. This has changed from me asking for a little bit of advice which I got, now yous are now basically saying I am think, well yeah I am but thanks for that

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Seriously? I don't think so! I feel bad for you.

OK no bother

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

ok no bother

I won't.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

So you started off with saying how bad you felt for doing this....what happened to that? You seem to have had a complete turn-around on how you felt.

No I still do feel bad, but this has gone from me doing something that I should not have, to how bad my spelling and my punctualty is!

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

I won't.

You won't what

And I have took you advice in, the man boy that I am talking is begging to come to mine as we speak, and I am telling there is not a chance, we need to tell your gilfirend (my firend) what we have done

Wow - uhm, I'm not sure what kind of response would help you. I am Catholic and what I would do if I got myself into such a situation would be first, to accept whatever fallout I got from it from whomever I told about it as deserved. I would go to confession too because in my life, I've found that helpful - of course, that may not be an option for you. I would not go to make myself feel better, but to make myself more accountable and to get some good advice on improving my character and being a better person moving forward.

I would not be getting upset with people who found my reprehensible behavior reprehensible.

I understand the advice that you should tell your friend what you have done but I'm not entirely sure it is the right thing to do. It could result in her child growing up without a father, the end of a relationship that might have potential that outweighs this betrayal. I'm not sure it's your right to betray her and also out her boyfriend's infidelity to her, taking her whole life down in one fell swoop. I think you should both shut up about it and he should work on the relationship. You should let the friendship go. Leave this family alone. If the boyfriend chooses to tell her what you and he have done, so be it.

As for the grammar corrections - well, sorry you are taking offense but seriously, "aye" instead of "I"? Are you a pirate? The pronoun for yourself is "I". "No" is used as a negative response like, "no thank you". If you are speaking of knowledge, the word is "know". Myself is one word. It does matter because you're hard to understand, so take responsibility for fixing the errors, thank people for taking the time to help you. Why would you be proud of not caring that you're bad at communicating in writing?

An attitude of not caring is what got you into this mess. I tell you that because when you accept that knowledge of yourself, you can start working on not making a mess of things moving forward.

You have to understand, there's no way to respond to what you've addressed here without acknowledging that you and this man doubly betrayed your friend and potentially did tremendous, life-long damage to her child. We can't really soft-shoe around it - that's what you've done. It doesn't mean you can't ever be a good person, but this was a very base thing to do and there's unfortunately not a good way out of it.

I think the best you can do is get out of their lives because, given they have a child together, the relationship between the boyfriend and your friend is more important than your friendship with this woman. He may be able to mend the relationship and keep his family together, but it will never be possible with you around. She needs her child's father more than she needs you, so go your separate way.

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and I have took you advice in, the man boy that I am talking is begging to come to mine as we speak, and I am telling there is not a chance, we need to tell your gilfirend (my firend) what we have done

That's a start and I hope you stick to your guns. You don't betray a friend and hang around smiling in their face, that's not a friend so its time to leave them both completely alone. She will wonder about it, and then the chips fall where they will.

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QUOTE by talaniman;
That's a start and I hope you stick to your guns. You don't betray a friend and hang around smiling in their face, that's not a friend so its time to leave them both completely alone. She will wonder about it, and then the chips fall where they will.

Thanks for this, I am sticking to it. He just told me there he wants to be with me so if he left her would I get with him, but I have told him, its nice to see people can comment some nice things

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Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Wow - uhm, I'm not sure what kind of response would help you. I am Catholic and what I would do if I got myself into such a situation would be first, to accept whatever fallout I got from it from whomever I told about it as deserved. I would go to confession too because in my life, I've found that helpful - of course, that may not be an option for you. I would not go to make myself feel better, but to make myself more accountable and to get some good advice on improving my character and being a better person moving forward.

I would not be getting upset with people who found my reprehensible behavior reprehensible.

I understand the advice that you should tell your friend what you have done but I'm not entirely sure it is the right thing to do. It could result in her child growing up without a father, the end of a relationship that might have potential that outweighs this betrayal. I'm not sure it's your right to betray her and also out her boyfriend's infidelity to her, taking her whole life down in one fell swoop. I think you should both shut up about it and he should work on the relationship. You should let the friendship go. Leave this family alone. If the boyfriend chooses to tell her what you and he have done, so be it.

As for the grammar corrections - well, sorry you are taking offense but seriously, "aye" instead of "I"? Are you a pirate? The pronoun for yourself is "I". "No" is used as a negative response like, "no thank you". If you are speaking of knowledge, the word is "know". Myself is one word. It does matter because you're hard to understand, so take responsibility for fixing the errors, thank people for taking the time to help you. Why would you be proud of not caring that you're bad at communicating in writing?

An attitude of not caring is what got you into this mess. I tell you that because when you accept that knowledge of yourself, you can start working on not making a mess of things moving forward.

You have to understand, there's no way to respond to what you've addressed here without acknowledging that you and this man doubly betrayed your friend and potentially did tremendous, life-long damage to her child. We can't really soft-shoe around it - that's what you've done. It doesn't mean you can't ever be a good person, but this was a very base thing to do and there's unfortunately not a good way out of it.

I think the best you can do is get out of their lives because, given they have a child together, the relationship between the boyfriend and your friend is more important than your friendship with this woman. He may be able to mend the relationship and keep his family together, but it will never be possible with you around. She needs her child's father more than she needs you, so go your separate way.

Thank you for this, ihave not took any offence to any ones comments, but I am not bothered about my spelling or the way I type at all,

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thank you for this, ihave not took any offence to any ones comments, but I am not bothered about my spelling or the way I type at all,

If you are not thoughtful about correcting easy mistakes, then you probably are not thoughtful about the bigger ones you make. Its shows you don't care, and not surprising that you illicit responses you have gotten so far. Its sloppy, and shows you live a sloppy life.

You could and should do better if you wanted to. Look I know you care and this has hurt you so drop the stubborn defensive stuff and get real. Not to be harsh but you need to realize if WE didn't care we would NOT respond at all so meet us half way. The little things matter.

>Big Cyber Hug<

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how bad my spelling and my punctualty is!

Punctuation or punctuality?

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now yous are now basically saying I am think,

I really have to ask, because I'm not able to decode this one. You're think? How can you be think? It's not something you are, it's something you do.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Punctuation or punctuality?

I really have to ask, because I'm not able to decode this one. You're think? How can you be think? It's not something you are, it's something you do.

So glad you seem so perfect mind?

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Originally Posted by hannah2013

are you guys all finished with your clever comments. this has changed from me asking for a little bit of advice which i got, now yous are now basically saying i am think, well yeah i am but thanks for that

ok no bother

Also I don't care if you feel bad for me,