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Ok here is my situation, she cheated on me once and I took her back and forgave her, well not too long after that she started texting her unrelated cousin and it started to getting suspicious because she was talking to him all the time. She is 17 and he is 20 Ive poured into this girl like no other but she just spits in my face every time, and I want to fix things. I'm nothing like that other guy, like the opposite actually, me and her were engaged, but she cheated on me once, and was sneaky, then she came back, and I forgave her, and after a while here came the next guy, because she was hiding her phone, and it was making me mad because I couldn't trust her doing that. Well her and this other guy decided they were going to date, but he is going through a divorce, and he has a kid, and the mother of the kid doesn't even know that they are dating. She has already moved in with him, and I'm guessing sleeping with him, and that breaks my heart because I was ready to marry this girl.

What's going to happen? Do you think it will last long? Is she going to come back? Help, thanks

Did I miss something but what's an "unrelated cuzzin"? (Yes, I get that you mean 'cousin' but then that makes them related).

In a nutshell, it just sounds like you need to leave her alone. There's no way of saying if the relationship with them will work but it's doubtful. The cousin is dealing with a lot right now going through a divorce and is probably looking for companionship and she's convenient.

She will come back- after that fling has run its course. You should move on with your life and get as far away from this mess as possible.

Well like they are cuzzins by marrige, but that marrige was divoreced, so they have justified it in there own minds that its OK.

Are they related by blood?

I stand by my original stance that you need to separate yourself from this mess. It will only bring drama into your life.

Sounds like it has already...

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Originally Posted by diezle21

they are or were cuzzins by marrige but that marrige was divoreced so idk what to think, its still weird

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If they are not blood relations, and not CLOSE blood relations, there is no reason they can't marry, much less date. It doesn't sound like she's too into you any longer especially since you're giving her a real hard time.

So I have no hope of her ever coming back cuzz this guy is like the opposite of me, he is like half of an alcoholic, and high school drop out, and all this stuff that I wasn't, hurts me a lot to watch her do this:(

And I've admitted all my mistakes and we still talk here and again it just makes me sick, because we were engaged but she started being sneaky with her phone again and just puttin me through hell because I still love her no matter what.

She doesn't sound like she wants to be with you. Some girls are into the "bad boy" type (I'll never understand it). But you should go find someone that will appreciate you. You really shouldn't even consider reconciling with someone who is dumping you for someone else.

Yeah you are right, but this is so not right in gods eyes, she is already living with him and it kills me to think that she is sleeping with him, kills after she tells you that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you and that you are the best guy she has ever met, and never met anyone who has loved her anymore, because she wasn't just a piece of to me, she was so much more than that.

Well you have to let God deal with her on that, whether the situation is wrong.

Focus on you and getting yourself together so you can get past this.

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Originally Posted by nikosmom

Well you have to let God deal with her on that, whether the situation is wrong.

Focus on you and getting yourself together so you can get past this.

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Do u think she will ever come back? For future reference

Sure she'll come back when that cousin is tired of her and moves on. She'll come back, use you until you make her feel better... then she will do the same thing to you again.

Seriously dude, a girl that cares about you will not treat you like this. She would not leave you for her cousin and move in with him in the blink of an eye. So her feelings (if she even has any) were never on the same level as yours.

Yeah your so right too, maybe it was at the moment, but not for long, why is it the thing I love I can't get, but the thing I can't get and love really isn't that great, I don't understand it at all. I hate it I wish I could just get rid of her and not think anything of it, but its not an easy process you know.

Don't invite a snake back into your bed. Your ex is a complete slu*, and you deserve better. God willing, she is out of your life forever now!

As for you, get yourself together and bag some self preservation and pride as well. You were completely trashed by this girl and some self respect on your part is due.

You can't recycle trash like her, so the best thing to do is just to throw it away for good.

Please rewrite this in a way we can understand. I have no idea what you are trying to say.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Don't invite a snake back into your bed. Your ex is a complete slu*, and you deserve better. God willing, she is out of your life forever now!

As for you, get yourself together and bag some self preservation and pride as well. You were completely trashed by this girl and some self respect on your part is due.

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Apparently you understood it KC lol. Kudos.

Second that... don't get back together with someone who cheats on you... the trust is completely demolished and very difficult to rebuild.

Why on earth do you want her back? You don't trust her, she is unfaithful, and she left you. I think you need to work on yourself because there is something that suggest either you are in denial, insecure, or just unaware that this was not a healthy relationship, and why do you feel the need to make more out of it than it is.
As far as what is going to happen no one here can predict that. I strongly suggest you work on yourself and worry about getting yourself back, or come back down to reality and realize why would you ever want someone back in which they left you and cheated?

You are right but I haven't quite grasped the concept of letting go, it hurts, because one day she wants to spend the rest of her life with me then all the sudden its done, over a cousin by marrige that has a kid and is going through a divorce. What's going to happen to her do you think?

IF someone wanted to spend the rest of their life with you they would do so, and again why would you ever want to marry someone like this? I know it hurts I wrote all about this if you check my link "how to get/him her back.

The only fix to this healing process, and I know it sounds cliché but time is the only thing that will heal you.
You need to forget about this woman, and believe me there is a woman out there who would want to marry you, love you and give you the upmost respect. Why settle for rocks when you can reach for the stars?

Well its even harder because she is my first relationship since 7th grade and those ones don't count, so yeah, so besides me what do u think is going to happen to her knowing a little bit of the situation.

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Originally Posted by diezle21

well its even harder because she is my first relationship since 7th grade and those ones dont count, so yeah, so besides me what do u think is gonna happen to her knowing a little bit of the situation.

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Can't really tell you that, I can only assume and I don't like to assume, but I can give you scenarios based on my experience,

1. she stays with him
2. she leaves him
3. she falls in love
4. she falls out of love.
5. she tries to come back to you
6. she may never want to see you.

Bottom line, is anything can happen at this point. You need to worry more about yourself, Why is this so important to you? Are you hoping she will come back to you?

Well yes I do for the reassurance that was right, because I told her when she came back the first time that to mark my words there would be another guy and of course her cuzzin by marrige came along and took her, and I was catching on too it before she started dating him, she was hiding her phone, her messages were always deleted, all this stuff, even my family thought soemthing was going on, which I could feel it in my guts there was soemthing wrong. So I don't know it hard, I hurd dating someone while going through a divorce isn't such a great idea, I think he just wants a piece of if you ask me, but who knows.

Okay first

1. No one can be "took" or "taken" they leaving willingly.
2. She's a slu* and enjoys various partners between her legs
3. She's addicted to cheating
4. Going in hand with 3, she doesn't love anyone, not even herself
5. Why would you even want her back?
6. You knew she was going to do it again, then why stick around?

You say you have a problem letting go, here let me help paint a picture that will work with this. While you are shedding tears over this tramp every night, she's boinking this ex cousin of hers. When you wake up alone, she's waking up next to another guy. When you think of her, she's kissing someone else.

Ready to move on yet?

I think you should keep your posts together.

Your 'friend' is really your most recent ex, that you have an axe to grind with.

Relationship by marriage is not the same as a blood relationship. While you may not approve and you may morally be unsupportive, it is not your choice. It really isn't even your concern.

The him is getting a divorce, living separately from his wife apparently and it won't matter legally when the wife finds out and emotionally it may not matter to her either.

All of these issues are really not of your concern, it is their lives to lead. Although you are hurt and angry about the break up and whether the relationship survives or falls isn't relative to you.

Focus on your own backyard, don't stalk her into hers.

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Okay first

1. No one can be "took" or "taken" they leaving willingly.
2. She's a slu* and enjoys various partners between her legs
3. She's addicted to cheating
4. Going in hand with 3, she doesn't love anyone, not even herself
5. Why would you even want her back?
6. You knew she was going to do it again, then why stick around?

You say you have a problem letting go, here let me help paint a picture that will work with this. While you are shedding tears over this tramp every night, she's boinking this ex cousin of hers. When you wake up alone, she's waking up next to another guy. When you think of her, she's kissing someone else.

Ready to move on yet?

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Yeah but I'm the first guy she has ever cheated on, all I have ever done is loved her and tried to help her out, and just staight up poored into this girl, but I don't know, it is very hard to think about her sleeping with another guy at night, it kills me, and I just straight up wish I could hate her and not want anything to do with her but I can't control that. So I don't know. God is going to catch up with her, because its biblical thou shalt not covate which is exactly what she is doing. What comes around goes around.

Regardless to who the person is, you need to stay out of it. If it is your ex, you need to focus on YOU and what you can do to work on healing from your break - up. It's not easy, but you can do it. If you don't let go and stay out of there business, you are going to stay in a state of pain. Do it for yourself!

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

I think you should keep your posts together.

Your 'friend' is really your most recent ex, that you have an axe to grind with.

Relationship by marriage is not the same as a blood relationship. While you may not approve and you may morally be unsupportive, it is not your choice. It really isn't even your concern.

The him is getting a divorce, living seperately from his wife apparently and it won't matter legally when the wife finds out and emotionally it may not matter to her either.

All of these issues are really not of your concern, it is their lives to lead. Although you are hurt and angry about the break up and whether the relationship survives or falls isn't relative to you.

Focus on your own backyard, don't stalk her into hers.

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Yeah, I'm just curous if its going to work or not because he is like the opposite of me, he is like a half an alcoholic, high school drop out, has a baby girl to take care of, and he is 20 and she is 17, like what are the chances of them staying together?

WE ARE NOT PSYCHICS!

The matter of them staying together or not is irrelevant, that is what you are not seeing.

You are the jealous ex, you are thinking like the jealous ex to even be concerning yourself with this trivial matter.

Do they have good things going for them... NO, but that is not your problem, concern or relevance.

Time to remove your head and start walking on your two feet.

Well I understand trying to fix myself, I try and do that everyday, which it gets a little better everyday, but it still pisses me off that someone could do that to someone if you read my last posts

Everyone has read my last question, despite whether I need to move on which I will, but is she going to come back? No one just falls in and out of love like that, and most people tell that all there ex's have came back in some sort of way, and I think if she did come back and I was single I would take her back, but I would try and build our relationship off christ this time because that's the only way it will ever work with out being miserable, that's why I wish I had some kind of hope that she will come back you know? Because I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best to this point. I believe people can change, and I trully believe in my heart that I could get this to work regardless of what she has done already, because there is always room for change. So what do I do or say that will up my chances of getting her back? Not talk to her or what?

If you believe people can change than focus on the changes that you need to be making.

It doesn't involve analyzing her current situation.

Start reading about no contact and start preparing yourself to worry about you and yourself alone, that is how you will grow and change.

Stop trying to put lipstick on a pig, and call it love. It ain't, so put her, and her lying, cheating, sneaky ways behind you, and learn good English, and writing skills, so you can get a proper job, and build a life that you enjoy, so you can be ready for someone who deserves a good, smart, honest, decent, happy man, who is capable of handling his business, and is a great father to his kids.

Stop being her fool, and hoping for this wild a$$ biatch, to be a good decent woman, cause she just ain't. That's real, deal with it like a man, and keep her BS out of your life.

In other words, forget her, and move on. Whether she stays with her cousin, or not is not important, and is no longer your business any way.


And stop making new threads that say the same thing, over, and over, as the mods have enough to do trying to translate your bad spelling. Thats for real too!!!

You know, I'm not trying to write a dang paper, I couldn't care less about spelling on here, and you know what it's a heck of a lot easier said than done, because she is my first relationship ever, I'm a young buck, only 17 and just barely graduated high school, its easy for you too say well just move on, you need to be a little more sympathetic to my situation, someone cutting off my arm would feel better than what I feel inside.

As far as the reference to writing- it just makes it easier to understand, that's all. We can best help you when we know what you're saying.

We get that you're hurting. I've hurt too. Many times. Believe me. Had I saved the tears, I could've filled up buckets.

But right now you've got about 4 pages of responses telling you the same thing because we've all been there at some point. But getting out of the situation is the best way for you to begin getting over it. We're not saying "Walk away" to be insensitive or unkind. We're telling you that because it's the best way to move forward. You're prolonging your hurt by sticking around hoping it'll change.

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Originally Posted by diezle21

you know, im not trying to write a dang paper, i could care less about spelling on here, and u know what its a heck of alot easier said than done, because she is my first relationship ever, im a young buck, only 17 and just barely graduated highschool, its easy for you too say well just move on, you need to be a little more sympathetic to my situation, someone cutting off my arm would feel better than what i feel inside.

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If you could care less about spelling on here, then why would you expect us to care about your situation?

We volunteer our time and clear posts and ledgible questions that do not require the volunteers to walk behind you and clean up, are things that we care about.

If that means nothing to you and you wish to be rude to people taking time out of their day to help you, then maybe it is time your thread be closed because personally it is insulting that we are trying to help you WAKE UP and you choose to insult us and inform us you don't care.

Well now, neither do I.

Continue in your dysfuction and please wait for your girlfriend to come back after cheating on you twice. When she does, please grovel at her feet and then she can stick around until the next time she dumps you on your behind for someone else.

Its not that you guys arnt helping, but spelling and grammar has nothing to do with the situation, I'm not trying to be rude about it. I know moving on is the best way, but how do you control what your feeling inside. Yeah your thinking well why would you want somebody in your life like that. Well the relationship wasn't all bad. We had some great times together, and all those great memories and pictures in my head are what hurt the most. I'm suffering for all the consequences of her decisions. All I have is me and God and that's about it. It gets so lonely that's why I'm on here talking.

Spelling and grammar have to do with the ability to read your situation and respond because if it is not ledgible then volunteers have to spend their time correcting your errors that you aren't concerned about instead of having the ability to focus on your need for attention.

The problem is your lack of self worth and value, as you continue to make excuses and try and see everything as peachy keen because you would rather be with someone then alone. It's called codependency. Until you are happy with yourself and happy alone, you can't be happy or make another person happy. You deserve better then someone who cheats and leaves you for the thrill of someone older.

This is your first breakup and your first real relationship. We have all been where you are but until you stop making the breakup about her and start realizing that this is about you than we can't help your situation. Unfortunately the first couple of weeks of a breakup are irrational and we are just trying to get something through to your stubborn head. It's not that we won't listen and don't care, but take your time in posting and we can spend our time relating and helping you with your situation.

Before you post another response, please review the stickies at the top of the Relationship forum, you aren't the first in your position and you will not be the last, but some of them give great direction, while some of them will show you other people's journeys through the same situation as yours.

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diezle21, you know, I'm not trying to write a dang paper, I couldn't care less about spelling on here,

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You need to, as if you come off like a dumb hick, that's the way you will be treated, by all who come in contact with you. Emotional you may be, but that's no excuse for rambling on about the same thing, and ignoring what EVERYONE has been trying to tell you. That's just reality.

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you know what, it's a heck of a lot easier said than done

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It sure is, we know that, we have all been there and done that, we feel your pain, and are trying to tell you how to cope with it, by moving on. We know its one of the hardest thing you'll have to do, but it's a life lesson you must learn, by going through it, and learning from it. And dealing with it like a man.

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she is my first relationship ever,

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Get over it, because there will be many more and the lessons you learn may help you weed out the biatches from the real decent females, so you can enjoy your relationships, because you have a lot of hurt, and disappointments in life. That's real too, and you will have to deal with it all, the good, and the bad.

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I'm a young buck, only 17 and just barely graduated high school, its easy for you too say well just move on,

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So, young buck, is that an excuse not to take responsibility for your own life? Better get real, and get with the program, or life will slap you again. Trust me, I've been dumped on my a$$ more times than you have years, and its up to you to get back up, dust yourself off, heal, and learn, and keep it moving.

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you need to be a little more sympathetic to my situation,

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When you get some sympathy, I might. Look guy, harsh as I may be, I care, and want to help, meet me half way, and drop the baby crap, and man up and listen and learn, as others have been very straight with there advice and all you care about is getting some lying, cheating biatch back to do what she did to you before. Get real and see her for what she is and want more for yourself.

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someone cutting off my arm would feel better than what I feel inside.

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Start listening, and worry about yourself, and do without her crap, and leave her drama with her, because its you that's hurt, not her. That's what you deal with, getting your own act together. I know your in shock, and hurting bad, but if you take some good advice already given to you, you will get through this, and be better for it. If that's what you want.

If you don't, what's the point of crying in public, and pi$$ing people off because you don't want to hear what they are telling you. Think about it. And do better.

You guys are right, and the whole grammar thing throws me because I'm used to messenger and short abrevations and bla bla bla, but I understand what you guys are saying, I'm listening, but my heart won't let it go, and I can't make it let go. I wake up everyday and it wears off a little bit everyday which is a good thing. Your completely right when you say why in the h311 would I want someone back like that. Beats me, having sex with her didn't help my situation either, made it worse, because now she is sleeping with that other dude, but just like you say get over it because all the worrying in the world isn't going to change it. Another thing that sucks is I don't know where to look for a decent woman, I have yet too meet a great girl that I'm attracted too that has a great heart. Maybe you could help me out there, I don't know.

Yet another wrong path.

You are a far cry from ready to date and ready for us to encourage it.

Sorry to say, this time is about you. Believe me you haven't even met the woman(or more likely women) that will mean the most to you in the future. There are plenty of great girls out there, that are attractive as well.