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I have this one big problem. Iīm kind of nerdy, and I cannot get a decent girl... Itīs really hard, they always send me to hell saying that Iīm not cool enough. It might be about how I look. I donīt wear glasses, but I am embarrassed to wear hiphop stuff. So I wear shirts with ties, occasionaly POLO shirts...
Will someone help me? Iīm getting kind of desprate and depressed. :(
Well the first thing I would ask is, how old are you? My answer would be in part dependent on your answer.
Well, Im almost seventeen...
Seventeen in two months.
Well it depends your age and your race if your white and wearing hip hop stuff then it will seem like if you're a poser and you have too know how to dress the frist thing a girl looks at is how you look and your personality make her laugh be nice don't try to be who your not be confident in yourself get to know the girl before you ask her out you have to make her intrested in you don't seem desperete :cool:
Well, over the years I learned how to hide my feelings. I am the type of person who gets bullied, so showing feelings is bad in my case.
When I try to approach someone, I get a black eye - bullies are protective of girls.
I am the nerdy-freaky-cold type and it is extremely hard for me to say something funny.
HELP, please somebody HELP
Are you a good listener? Girls love to talk and love to have a boyfriend who is a good listener.
Do you ever see a shy, sad-looking girl hanging about? If so, did you ever say hi to her and ask her a question to get her talking?
OK...
And that means...
There is this girl I like and I do communicate with her. I am afraid she will "screw me to hell" if I dare to express my feelings. I do not know how to approach a person: my family life is screwed, mother left my dad "because of me"... It is hard to do anything without thinking of the her. She just tried to "screw me". She hated me. Now I simply loathe her, havenīt seen her in two years. Golf cures me but still it is hard... You think this might cause my problems with communication? Should I stop being me and try to forget my past and stop overdressing and be someone else? If I do so, will school still be manageble? Jeez. Sorry for blasphemy... What the HECK should I do?
I think you should relax.
Stop making this all about you and your personal history, and start looking at the other person as someone who will enrich your life. You don't have to express your feelings right off the bat. All you have to do is be pleasant and nice and a good listener and ask open-ended questions, like, "What did you think about that Chem test?" or "What kind of foods do you know how to cook?"
You're not looking to get married by Christmas, nor are you turning a friendship into a love affair. You are making friends. That's all.
So, waddya think?
Think of one of the most famous nerds, Bill Gates. He is not particurally handsome in anybodies book, and then look at his wife. People gravitate to a personality not just what they see on the surface. You are still young, don't let it worry you too much. When you look back in ten years at the "popular" ones and see how their lives have turned out compared to what you are capable of making for yourself you will laugh. Be happy that you are smart enough to get a top notch education. The rest will come.
Slow down dude!
First off, don't be wearing hip-hop stuff cause you think that's cool. Not all girls like that look. The shirt and tie thing is fine depending on how your wearing it, although at 17 I'd lose the tie.
Your dress is secondary to your confidence and socializing skills. If a girl likes you your clothes will probably not send her running (probably). Get away from thinking abouthow bad your past is and how allthe girls don't like you and focus on your good points, strong points.
There is someone for everyone, believe that. You'll do fine.
Well, I gues that could work... Why should the tie go? I like my neckties... And is being nerdy a bad thing??
Whoa, didn't know it was a neck tieboss. Ditch it!
Being nerdy is not a bad thing at all, it's a fashion just like any other. However, if your purposly dressingthis way than you have to be prepared for the stereotypes associated with it. Girls mixed with nerds in high school has kind of been likened to oil and water.
Seriously, if youlike your ties andlike the look of nerdiness than I say stick with it man. Do, dress, act the way you like, let the pieces fall where they may.
Keep the tie. Make sure the tie goes with the rest of the clothes and is clean and neat. Make sure the shirt is clean and ironed. You sound like a prize.
And it is hard getting past the bullies... Right now, both of my eyes are black, my thumb is broken and my eyebrows are shaved off.
But I always keep neat and tidy...
Why are you bullied?
This is on this board too... hmmmmmmmm --
"He is philosophical, godly, and what have you... how embarrassing, lol. Welp, he's got the most amazing mind, he's not self-conscious, he's intellectually nerdy, yet social, he's not cute... he doesn't even notice me!! He's the first guy I've really ever liked. I'm not necessarily dumb, but compared to him I am. he probably has a 4.9 (not even kidding), and I a measly 3.1. Do you think he'd ever like/notice me? how do i get him to do that w/out looking desperate?? (& i get really shy around him)"
I have no clue whatsoever. That's the worst thing about it. And the principal doesn't really want to cope with it, and my dad is trying to sue their dads... Never in your life you have seen such rednecks! They are even worst than Palin.
So why do you have all the body damage? Certainly you have a tiny clue why.
Just do a simple search on mens fashion change it up a little. Polos are a kind of hit or miss in High School, you have to be able to "pull it off"
But changing your wardrobe is NOT going to stop kids from bullying you. You have to stick up for yourself or that's how it's always going to be. So get YOURSELF moving. Get into some kind of wheight lifting and maybe a martial arts class on the side. ( I know I recommend wheights too much but I think it really works! )
Just be yourself, jump on a trend or two and make a personal style for yourself. Something that won't make you look like your trying to dress to fit in, something that has enough of "you" in it to be your kind of style yet try to still be fashionable about it.
But like I said I think your problems are more about you attitude, social skills, etc, etc.
Now, those are inflammatory sentences right there!Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
If your dad is trying to sue, he's got it all backwards. I'm an Obama fan, but your reference to Palin and rednecks saddens me--very prejudiced and not worthy of a class act guy.
If this is how you express yourself to others in real life, I don't wonder any longer.
Well if your getting yourself beaten up that's just more of a reason to bulk yourself up, try to join a gym. Also seriously try this out if you have the money. Get into a martial arts! They are a great way to keep stress levels down and in a year or so if you keep up on it think how cool it will be to give the guy bullying you a broken arm after he tries to give you a black eye.
I support McCain, but Palin is just wrong.
So you call her a redneck or worse?Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Tell me why she's wrong--don't just slam her. And be fair about it, meaning throw in the good stuff too--tell us what she is good at.
Governor Palin is not ready to become president if anything happens to John McCain. She is not very experienced and a bit too conservative, which always isnīt good. I mean - getting a child with Down-syndrom? The kid is going to suffer! Also her seventeen-year-old daughter is kind of forced to be pregnant... I mean - Im seventeen, I have ambitions. If you have a kid in my age you can basically say byebye to your future. Palin for president would be like Putin for president... Also her speeches... Her scandals, her dresses, her winking... But my dad is a McCain voter and I am more than proud to see a McCain/Palin sign on our frontyard. I would never express my true feelings about Palin in public. I keep my mouth shut about how I disagree with her for one simple reason: McCain has to do what he is doing. And one day he might prove me wrong. That is, when he dies. Here I can me open, that's why I said it.
Sorry for the type-os and stuff.
And no, I didn't do any research on this... I was away when you wrote it - my dad came home from work.
Now I'm starting to like you again--good writing and pretty good reasoning, and better than dissing her by calling her a name. At least you brought up points we could discuss intelligently.Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
Now, tell me about her good points (and she does have some).
She is feminist which is good, if she had someone who would help her, she would represent our country well, she has the guts to raise a child with down syndrom, she must be a good mother, she has ambitions, she is republican, she likes the tampa bay rays...
And I must admit she is quite attractive but don't count that
Again sorry for the type-os my giant thumb is in my way...
And she is a patriot! She got her first passport like 5 years ago?
How does getting a passport make one a patriot?Quote:
Originally Posted by dave146
She almost never left the country: you didn't get my point
So that makes her a patriot? (You have to express yourself clearly.)
Yeah, I guess its kind of patriotic... Sorry for not expressing myself clearly.
Why do you support Sen. Obama?
I believe Obama is a uniter and will bring together people of color and white people to make this country great again and to re-earn the respect of the rest of the world. I believe Obama is smart and will be able to figure out how to get us out of the economic trouble we're in. Obama is a gifted speaker who has tons of charisma, is a terrific husband and father (just watch him with his wife and daughters), and is a great dancer. His personality and his character and his abilities are just what this country needs right now.
I still don't understand how getting a passport makes one patriotic.
Who cares about the patriotic passport thing. She has left the country only once or twice and she got her first passport when she was like 38...
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